(CAP POPS)
(LIQUID POURS)
(SLURP)
(KEY WINDING)
(TEETH CHATTERING)
(SCREAMING)
(expl*si*n)
(LAUGHTER)
()
()
(SIREN WAILING)
()
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)
So what do you think
about the election?
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
Well, I think Rich Cash is going
to win most definitely.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
MAN 3:
Oh!
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
Rich Cash is (INDISTINCT SPEECH)
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)
Yeah.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
Hmm.
Little glittery box.
Are we celebrating? Hmm?
-Um...
-Is my brother dead?
Well, sir, the, uh...
Did they k*ll him?
Where are they?
Uh, that's them, sir.
What's left of them.
MAN 3:
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
If elite team
could not k*ll him, who can?
We sent everyone.
Well, not everyone, sir.
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
I'm not that desperate.
We still have time
before election.
Of course, sir. My apologies...
It's just that you've been
watching that tape a lot lately.
-I just thought--
-What tape?
I don't know this tape.
I don't watch.
Leave me, I have business!
Of course, sir.
I'm sorry.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
Well, what do you think
about Rich Cash?
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)
Well, I'm more interested
in his brother,
Buck Cash,
who's running against him.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
Do you think that he can win
with that hideous face scar?
Well, maybe.
But the people,
on the other hand,
have other ideas,
because he is not a winner!
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)
You have convinced me,
Rich Cash will win
and Buck will lose.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)
Yes, of course!
There's no chance in hell
that Buck Cash
will ever win this election.
BUCK:
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
(STATIC)
()
From the start,
he was a star
Shining like a shining star
When in need,
you'd say the word
And he would come
to save the world
Tell him what to do
And he will see it through
All he's ever known
is glory and fame
All over the globe
they're chanting his name
All around
he searched for love
Then turned around
and there she was
So came the part
of the montage
Where he wore
her white corsage
He was fairly sure
He'd one day lay with her
While he missed his wife,
he lived for his cause
Only for his partner,
that line would be crossed
You did it!
He'd been gone
for many years
When he came home
to find her there
Although he was
so proud of her
Being there
did not occur
He may drink all day
But that's to celebrate
Drinkin' is okay
when you save the day
Never learned to cope
with rings in his face
He is tough and very strong
Take it from his intro song
He's so brave he never
cries
Never even hurts inside
Every other year,
a daughter disappears
Will he face his fears
or drown them in more beer?
(SCREAMS)
He keeps crossing the line
He keeps crossing the line
He keeps crossing the line
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(MAN BURPS)
MAN 4:
Marriage is
like cutting your arms off.
First one's the easiest.
Jeez, man.
How many divorces
are you going through?
(MAN BURPS)
In the name of the wee man!
You're Guy Manley!
You're my favorite spy!
(SHUSHES)
Secret, it's not me.
It's really you!
It's an honor, Mr. Manley.
I'm Lewis!
(GRUNTS)
Oh, thank you, Lewis.
You're a nice boy.
(AIR KISSES)
(GUY BURPS)
No, I'm another Guy.
I-- I have a wife.
Alright, don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
But just between you and me,
I do a bit of espionage meself.
So if you ever need help
on a mission maybe I could...
What am I saying?
Stupid.
Why would you ever need my...
But, just in case!
That's me number on the napkin,
so just call whenever--
Or-- or don't.
I don't know.
(CHUCKLES)
Uh, no.
No.
Alright, I'll be off then.
(GUY GRUNTS)
Guy Manley. What a legend!
(GRUNTS)
(BURPS)
(GROANS)
(BURPS)
()
(BURPS)
Those kids were dead long before
I shot them, officer.
What are you up to,
Mr. Manley?
I hope
you're enjoying retirement.
Oh! Hello, Buck.
What do you want,
marriage counseling?
Niet.
GUY: (ON PHONE)
Understandable.
My marriage actually went
really, really bad.
(GRUNTS)
BUCK: (ON PHONE)
Right.
Anyway, I did not just call
for nice little chitchat.
In fact, I have a big concern.
And I might just need you
back at work.
(GRUNTS)
Would it be possible
to talk in person?
Well, sure.
Oh!
It's about my brother Richard.
Oh, Rich Cash!
(CHUCKLES)
The big R?
Sure.
Rich Cash for mayor,
the Cash brother you can
count on!
Only he won't be our next mayor.
Ah!
I will.
Oh.
Because you are going to k*ll
him before election.
I see. And hear.
You're my very last option.
k*ll Rich Cash
after the election.
Got it!
Before the election!
It's in 30 days,
a month from now.
Which gives you plenty of time.
And I don't care how you do it.
Rip his heart out,
shove it down his throat.
I just want my brother dead!
Fine, I'll do it.
Don't you want to know
what's in it for you?
Yeah. Yeah, I really do.
Hmm. Five--
Deal.
Million dollars.
This is going to be extremely
dangerous.
You will need to be in top shape
for this.
()
(GRUNTING)
I'm ready.
I'm ready to get Cash!
(SIGHS)
Don't let this be a mistake.
But first, I need a drink.
(SPITS)
(GROANS)
No drinking on job!
Not a drop
until mission is over!
What about water?
I'll die.
Just...
Just stay sober.
Don't let me down, Mr. Manley.
(FLAME ROARS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(JET PACK WHOOSHES)
()
Danger, danger
(CROWD CHEERING)
Danger, danger, yeah
That's right, baby
Watch out,
he's a dangerous man
Getting in danger
whenever he can
When you're in trouble,
call for his help
Just know he's mostly
a danger to himself
Guy Manley
back to save the day
Guy Manley
Guy Manley does anything
that pays
Guy Manley
Guy Manley,
that's his actual name
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
Ain't afraid of no
Danger, danger
That's right
Danger, danger, yeah
Alright now
Danger, danger
(VEHICLES HONKING
AND DOG BARKING IN BACKGROUND)
(GULPS)
(GRUNTS)
(BURPS)
(BOTTLE RATTLES
AND CAT SHRIEKS IN BACKGROUND)
()
(VEHICLES WHOOSHING AND HONKING
IN BACKGROUND)
Well, I haven't had a drink
in minutes!
(SHUTS BRIEFCASE)
One drink please.
You got it, Guy Manley.
Oh, just a reminder though,
there's an Election Day event
tomorrow night.
So if you wanna
watch the results live,
I mean, this is the place to be.
Tomorrow?
I'll be here.
(SLURPS)
Tomorrow?
(CLOCK TICKING)
It's in 30 days,
a month from now.
Which gives you plenty of time.
I...
Are-- are you okay?
I forgot to k*ll somebody.
Gotta go!
Wait.
What the f*ck am I doing?
What would Jsus do?
()
It's all your fault.
Your fault.
(PANTS, WHIMPERS)
()
(SOBS)
()
If this is what being sober
feels like,
I give up.
(YELPS)
(SNIFFLES)
What's this?
One, two, three.
Yeah. Numbers!
Wait...
If you ever need help
on a mission...
I do need help on a mission.
How do you get a hold of you?
That's me number on the napkin,
so just call whenever...
The number on the napkin!
It's right there!
Just call the bloody number
you doolally spunk trumpet!
Oh!
Alright, it's Lewis.
Help!
(GASPS)
Mr. Manley?!
Finally!
()
(LEWIS GASPS)
()
Yahtzee.
(DOOR CREAKS)
(CROWD CLAPPING AND CHEERING)
Oh. Ugh!
My God!
Guy Manley!
Come in, you cook!
(DOOR CREAKS)
GUY:
Oh!
What do you need help with?
What's the big mission?
I'm ready for anything!
(YELLS)
I've been preparing
my whole life for this.
I'm going to k*ll Rich Cash.
(CHUCKLES)
Right, k*ll Rich Cash
of Cash Enterprises,
the most powerful man
in the city?
Oh, k*ll Rich Cash
of Cash Enterprises,
the most powerful man
in the city.
It has to be done
before the election tomorrow.
The mission was given to me
by his brother,
Buck, who's running against him.
And, um, one more detail.
I have to k*ll him by ripping
his heart out
and shoving it up his a*s
or something.
Uh...
Well, that's what Buck said.
But why?
Sibling rivalry, I don't know.
I just do what I'm told.
(GRUNTS)
Alright,
let's get to work I guess.
First, we need to find out
the amount of guards,
their shifts,
their weapons stashes,
IPv6 addresses.
Jesus Christ, Lewis,
you're hackin' away!
You wouldn't happen to have
anything to drink, would you?
Windows! Breakable Windows!
May the ethernet have mercy
on my sweet digital soul
and some other stuff as well.
Ah, there it is.
Cash Tower.
My cousin Peter works there.
I'll try to get a hold of him.
We need to know all possible
entryways.
If there are any.
()
(EAGLE SHRIEKING)
()
We got him, Richie.
He was hiding under some corpses
in the salary negotiation room.
(SCOFFS)
()
(GRUNTS)
(TYPING)
(BUTTON BEEPS)
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(WHIMPERS)
()
(DOOR SLIDES)
(GROANS)
()
Get out of here,
get out of here.
(MAN PANTS)
RICH:
Oh, God.
Indeed, my dear Patrick.
I am disappointed.
Well, I'm so sorry, Mr. Cash,
it won't happen again!
RICH:
You're right. It won't.
This is a serious workplace!
I take this job very seriously.
I really do.
RICH:
Then how do you explain
these buttons?
I know, I'm sorry.
I've just been a bit distracted
since the death of my...
(WATERS SPLASHES)
(GROANS)
Cash Enterprises
is a serious business
and does not tolerate individual
wardrobe alterations.
(SWITCH FLICKS)
PETER:
I'm so sorry, Mr. Cash.
I really am.
(SHUSHES)
(KISSES)
I know you are, Patrick.
It's Peter, sir.
(GROANS)
(SCREAMING)
()
(PANTS)
(SCREAMING)
()
GUARD 1:
Back to work.
(TYPES)
(RICH SCREAMING IN BACKGROUND)
(PRESSING KEYS)
(RICH SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
()
(SCRUNCHES)
MAN 5:
44380, general surgery. 44380.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
()
()
MAN 6:
Manley!
WOMAN 1:
I think I should call him
Guy Manley.
No.
No, Manley, I love you!
I love you!
(g*n SHOTS)
LEWIS:
Manley! Manley!
(SCREAMS)
Are you alright, Mr. Manley?
You've been screaming
for hours!
I was just sobering up.
I did some work
while you were sleeping.
()
Nice.
Oh, I just did
a bit of research.
What did you find out?
Uh, apparently,
he started out by selling plums
that he took
from his neighbor's yard.
His mother never forgave him.
Mother.
Plums.
I get it.
Of course!
That was
before Cash Enterprises,
you know, the biggest company
in the freaking galaxy.
He's not your average plutocrat.
He's done music,
TV shows,
p*rn*graphy,
video games,
calendars,
and now he's about to be mayor!
No. He's about to be dead.
Right, about that.
The specific execution method
you mentioned...
I thought this might help.
I call it a heart extractor.
It extracts hearts.
It is one-use only,
so don't go fiddling
with it willy-nilly.
Alright. How do I get to him?
Well, reportedly, he hasn't left
his impenetrable fortress,
Cash Tower, for over a decade,
and the safest way in, or well,
the way you are going to take
is through the sewer.
What are you saying, you idiot?
I can't fit down
a g*dd*mn toilet!
You won't have to.
There's an entrance by the river
just 20 minutes from here.
Take my car
and drive responsibly!
I'll guide you through
this earpiece
and give you
the rest of the information
on the way.
There's no time to lose.
Alright,
you got your heart extractor,
you got your g*n, and, um...
Oh!
And some extra b*ll*ts.
()
Oh, it's nothing.
It's just that my parent died
from b*ll*ts.
I'm sorry.
No.
No, I don't have time
to get into my backstory now.
It's too sad.
You're right.
I should get going.
()
()
()
...save the day
Guy Manley does anything
that pays
LEWIS: (ON EARPHONE)
Manley, hello.
Manley, hello?
He's just in my head.
He's not real!
LEWIS: (ON EARPHONE)
I'm real, Mr. Manley.
It's me, Lewis, remember?
Lewis!
You have to help me k*ll
Rich Cash,
it's my only way of getting
those $5 million.
What $5 million?
What?
What?
Uh, w-- what...
Money.
...are the five worst things
about Rich Cash?
Um, the five worst things?
Well, he's CEO of the company
behind some of the worst
human rights violations
in recent history.
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
LEWIS: (ON PHONE)
Yeah,
many of those protesters
probably work for him.
They fear what will happen
if he gets elected.
They'll spend their lives
in jail for wanting to be free.
Poor b*stards.
Mm, yeah, those b*stards.
The working conditions
for his employees
are reportedly horrible.
That's horrible.
And the worst thing is, he--
That smell!
(TIRES SCREECH)
That horrible, horrible smell.
I'm back at your place!
Huh,
I've been driving in circles.
Uh, actually,
you're at the sewer entrance,
Manley.
You sure?
Alright, good.
What now?
(GRUNTS)
Let's see.
Uh, there's two guards
at the entrance.
You need to take them both out
quickly
before they can warn the others.
Damn, this is some good ravioli!
Yeah, I guess.
Something wrong, kid?
I'm just nervous.
It's my first day.
Don't you worry, kiddo.
Nothing ever happens
around here.
You'll be fine.
Well, okay.
(MUNCHES)
(g*ns SHOTS)
(SCREAMING)
What the-- you were my friend!
(SCREAMING)
No, please! I have a family!
(CRIES)
(g*nsh*t)
LEWIS: (ON PHONE)
Okay, now,
there are too many guards
in there
to take them all at once.
So, you'll have to get past
them unnoticed.
So, don't use the door.
(expl*si*n)
(GUARDS GROANING)
Guy Manley
(g*nshots)
Watch out,
he's a dangerous man
Getting in danger
whenever he can
When you're in trouble,
call for his help
Just know he's mostly
a danger to himself
LEWIS:
Ah, there he is.
Guy Manley.
His charm and swagger
is unparalleled
The ladies simply cannot
control themselves
Guy Manley
back to save the day
Guy Manley
Guy Manley does anything
that pays
Guy Manley
Guy Manley,
that's his actual name
Guy Manley
Guy Manley, ain't afraid
of no danger
Yeah
That's right
Ooh
Ooh
Oh, yeah
GUY:
Oh, yeah!
(FIRING)
(GROANS)
Danger
(g*nshots)
GUARD 2:
No. No.
Guy Manley,
now he's back in the game
Guy Manley
Guy Manley lights up
the whole place
Guy Manley
Guy Manley, he's all money
and fame
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
ain't afraid of no danger
Yeah, yeah
(GUARD YELLING)
LEWIS:
Now that's the Guy Manley
I wrote my thesis about!
(GROANS)
Lot of feces about, for sure.
It's a sewer, after all.
(CHUCKLES)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(CAMERA BEEPING)
GUARD 3:
Oh, sh*t!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Well,
my foremost campaign promise
is to make everyone rich.
But not as rich as me of course.
(LAUGHS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
(ALARM RINGS)
It's quite alright, gentlemen,
settle down.
Oh.
We got an RP11 delta5
at the cloaca passage 12A.
Manley?
(BOTH GASP)
RICH:
Guy Manley.
I thought he retired!
Uh...
Pfft!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my brother.
He's really scraping
the bottom of the barrel here.
This is huge.
Tony!
Initiate 5987
46BBBBBBB
BBBB1.
VOICE ASSISTANT: (ON TABLET)
Access denied.
I can't.
All the automatic turrets
are malfunctioning.
Well, then.
Send subject one to room two.
(TABLET BEEPS)
As I was saying,
all those children are alive
and well.
You know how parents lie for
attention.
(LAUGH TOGETHER)
(GUARD GROANING)
What is the code?
LEWIS:
Just a second.
I'm working on it.
(DATA BEEPING)
No, I'm working on it.
Give me the code!
(GUARD GROANS)
GUARD 4:
Okay, okay. 5...
(GUARD GROANS)
That's just one number!
Give me the whole code!
GUARD 4:
5 2...
(GUARD GROANS)
What is code?
GUARD 4:
What?
Spill it!
GUARD 4:
The code. It's, uh...
Code!
(GUARD GROANS)
LEWIS:
I got it!
(GUARD GROANING)
GUARD 4:
No, no, no, no, no!
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
(g*nshots)
()
(LID SQUEAKS)
(LID SHUTS)
Hey, Lewis.
Uh, I think I k*lled them all.
With my g*n.
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure
about that.
Time to reload, Manley.
There's another guard coming!
Uh, I can't.
I threw away
those extra b*ll*ts you gave me.
Ma...
Uh, it just got me thinkin'
about my parents.
How they died.
I know, Manley, but, uh...
Wipe that that tear
from your cheek, sweet boy!
It was years before I was born.
Manley, there's another guard
coming around the corner.
A guard.
A friend.
You never know what's
around the next corner in life.
Manley, he's coming!
(SCREAMS)
(g*nshots)
GUARD 5:
Little man, Mr. Cash wants you
to leave now.
Enough blood has been spilled.
Who are you
to call me little man?
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well--
(GROANS)
Oh, wooh!
(YELLS)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Ah yes!
(GROANS)
Oh!
(GROANS)
Come on, Manley!
You can do it!
(GROANS)
Danger
Danger, danger
Danger
Danger, danger
(SCREAMS)
Huh, throwing me, are we?
Danger
(SCREAMS)
I knew you'd be here.
When in doubt, you skate it out.
Godspeed, Man-Thor.
()
(GROANING)
Danger
(RETCHING)
()
(GROANS)
()
Yeah.
()
(GRUNTS)
(ARROW WHOOSHES)
Oh!
(THUD)
Did you win?
Not until I rip
Rich Cash's heart out,
shove it up his a*s.
(CHUCKLES)
Shove it right up there,
Mr. Manley.
Yeah, I'm looking forward
to using this thing.
(SCREAMS)
GUARD 5:
You piece of child!
(CHOKING)
I can't watch this.
(GUY CHOKING)
Ooh!
(WHIRS)
Uh-oh.
(THUD)
You knew it was one-use only,
Manley.
It was crucial to the mission!
So is my life.
We're in a pepper pickle now.
I'll see what I can do!
(BANGING HAMMER)
(TAPE WHIRRING)
What in the diggory damn!
(PRESSES KEYS)
(DATA BEEPING)
RICH:
A heart extractor!
The rejected one-use model.
(TONY CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah.
The one that smelly intern
designed.
Yeah.
What was his name again?
La-- Ludovic?
Ludovic Miller?
Lewis!
Lewis Milton!
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lewis.
So he is the one guiding
this little sewer rat.
That explains the turrets.
You know what to do.
(YELLS)
(c*ck g*n)
TONY:
The mission,
destroy Lewis Milton.
Make it hurt.
Make it lethal.
Make that stinky little b*tch
cry.
()
(VAN WHOOSHES)
(GATE RATTLES)
(TIRES SCREECH)
()
(BEEPING)
(ALARM RINGING)
LEWIS:
In...
...the...
...name...
...of the wee man!
Manley, we've got a bit
of a situation!
Calm down, Lewis.
What's on your mind?
I'm surrounded. They found me.
Damn, Lew.
(g*nsh*t)
It's been a pleasure, though.
What?
(g*nsh*t)
Just blow yourself up, man.
Oh.
Okay.
()
()
(g*nsh*t)
Nah, I'm just kidding, Lewis.
You're a brainy boy.
You got this.
(expl*si*n)
Oh, don't hang up, Lewis!
I'm just smacking your sausage!
Hello?
I don't have time to goof!
(g*nshots)
(BANGS DESK)
Ah!
(GULPS)
(GROANS)
The automatic turret system
keeps malfunctioning
in every room Manley walks into.
Even though
this Ludwick Milton's character
has been taken care of!
I'll say it again.
Can't trust that tech sh*t, man.
You're the one in charge
of that tech sh*t, man.
Yeah. I'm sorry, boss.
I'll look into it.
Never mind.
Just switch turret F26
to manual.
(CRACKS KNUCKLES)
RICH:
This is not how I thought I was
gonna spend my election day.
But I guess I'm about to
k*ll Guy Manley!
k*ll Guy Manley.
(ECHOING)
k*ll Guy Manley.
This is your safe mode on.
k*ll Guy Manley.
(TRIGGER CLICKING)
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(TRIGGER CLICKING)
()
(GRUNTING)
Boom! Clean shot, Richie!
(expl*si*n)
(GASPS)
RICH:
Why did you do that, Tony?
I had a clean shot,
and you took it from me.
Now he is in the elevator.
Whose side are you really on...
...Tony?
Tony.
Tony!
Yo, you trippin', boss!
Come on, man,
how long we known each other?
Not long enough, apparently!
(SCREAMS)
(BLOOD SPLASHING)
()
(DISTORTION)
We just got word in.
Election Day turned horror scene
inside Cash Tower
as the super-secret,
extremely handsome,
gentleman spy Guy Manley
wreaks havoc trying to k*ll
leading candidate Richard Cash
just moments
before the polls open.
News of this champion
of the people
have the protesters
all riled up
in one final attempt
to stop Rich Cash
from getting elected.
(YELLING)
()
()
()
(TIMER BEEPS)
(expl*si*n)
RICH:
What is happening?
This was supposed to be
my big day!
Why today, Mother?
I was gonna show them, show you,
stealing all those plums,
k*lling all my friends,
It would all pay off in the end!
Then,
I would finally be forgiven!
I want every employee
in this god damn building
to go down to the lobby
and protect this tower
at all costs!
k*ll for the Cash!
Die by the dollar!
GUARDS: (TOGETHER)
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
(SCREAMING)
(g*nshots)
GUARDS: (TOGETHER)
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
k*ll for the cash!
(TURRETS WHIRRING)
(FIRING)
(YELLING)
(g*nshots)
()
(YELLS)
Die for the dollar!
GUARDS: (TOGETHER)
k*ll for the cash!
Die by the dollar!
(YELLING)
GUARD 6:
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Go!
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
Not quite the welcome
I expected.
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
I am almost offended.
()
(POURS DRINK)
()
()
BUCK:
Hello, brother.
Long time, no see.
RICH:
Hello, little sh*t brother.
Do you really think you can
get elected?
You f*cking moron.
BUCK:
Shut up.
Of course I will!
ret*rd!
RICH:
Do you think you're cool?
With that accent?
I can also speak
with Russian accent.
I'm Buck.
f*ck you, b*tch!
(WHIMPERS)
RICH:
You can do your best
but you won't win, Asshat.
(GROANS)
(SCREAMS)
()
Cash!
(SCREAMS)
(GUY GROANS)
(PANTS)
Guyard Trixible Manley,
The most famous spy
in the world.
Top of the class at the Academy
of Intergalactic Espionage.
Pfft!
Yeah, I've seen the tape.
You had it all, bruh.
I lost it all.
To drinking? Why?
A failed marriage?
Couldn't balance work
with being a father of five?
Five?
Or did you just lust for living
la vida loca forever?
Slamming ham across the land.
Or maybe...
GUY:
I'm a murdering delinquent.
How could I live a normal life?
How could I raise a child?
The people I've k*lled,
over 50,000 men!
And don't get me started on
women and children.
Yes!
Yes! What else?
Animals.
Dreams.
Jennifer.
Yes!
Have one last drink with me,
Manley.
You came all this way.
You've earned it.
GUY:
No!
I won't f*ck this up
by getting f*cked up!
It's death, then.
Not a drop until mission
is over!
(yells)
(grunts)
You're going down!
Oh, yes, I am.
()
Oh, no!
(SCREAMS)
(b*mb HISSING)
Oh, no!
(FIRING)
(b*mb HISSING)
(YELLING)
(b*mb HISSING)
(expl*si*n)
(SCREAMING)
(CHEERING)
GUARD 7:
Holy sh*t!
(CHEERING AND CLAPPING)
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(SCREAMS)
(CROWD YELLING)
Impressive for a drunk.
Not currently.
Go back to the bar, Manley.
Happy hour's almost over.
Forget happy hour,
your hour has come.
Whatever my brother
is paying you, I'll double it.
You can drink yourself to death,
alone,
until you die.
Ain't no longer
about bread and brew.
Seeing what you've done to
this city has been sobbering.
Truth is
civilian life was so boring.
I turned to drinking
when there were
no more bad guys left to k*ll.
Thank God, you came along.
So be it.
(SCREAMS)
()
()
If you want Manley,
you'll have to get through me!
(YELLS)
(SCREAMS)
(g*nshots)
(YELLS)
(PANTS)
Lookin' a bit crispy there,
Lewis.
What happened?
What are you doing here?
I couldn't...
I blew it.
The heart extractor.
The only thing you blew
was me away.
You did great.
I got to be like a real spy.
I'm working on it.
I'll see what I can do.
I got it!
(LEWIS SCREAMING)
It extracts hearts.
I'm sorry.
(COUGHING)
That's the whole reason
I started to get into computers
in the first place.
My cousin Peter taught me.
Make sure he gets this letter.
Oh, Peter.
My sweet Peter.
His code is binary poetry!
We were just wee lads!
I think the nightmares
are manifestations of guilt
brought on by that childhood
drama.
What the f*ck
are you talkin' about, Lewis?
Never verbally expressing
these emotions
is a way to disassociate them
from anything tangible,
thereby never anchoring them
in a worldly context,
preventing me from confronting
the underlying root
of the issue, you know?
I miss home.
I miss Mama!
It's been a rough few years.
That's dark, Lewis.
You should really talk to
someone.
I thought I was.
What do you say one day
Lewis and Manley go down
to the pond
and look at the ducks
like two old friends?
Best friends?
I already have a best friend.
My old partner.
Haven't seen him in a while.
I wonder what he's up to
these days.
Maybe you could help me track
him down.
(THUD)
Manley?
Guy Manley?
Is it really you?
I'd recognize that voice
anywhere!
Jsus!
My old partner!
Is it really you?
Jsus?
That's a name I haven't heard
in a long time, ese!
Jesus, Jsus!
It's really you!
Look me in the eyes, partner,
look me in the eyes.
Manley, I can't.
I know it's hard
to look an old friend
in the eyes
after all these years.
What the hell happened?
Don't you remember?
Mexico?
The wall?
We crossed the line, Manley.
We crossed the line.
GUY:
I got somebody here
that wants to hear your voice.
WOMAN 2:
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
TONY:
One man can only get r*ped
so many times
before he stains his shorts.
Mindfuck.
See you on the right side
of the wall, partner.
TONY:
Don't get shot, ese.
(KISSES)
The moon
GUY:
I quit the job.
Had to choose between
family and job, you know?
That's why we have tequila.
GUY:
I'm more of a banana man.
This morning I had a meeting
with Buck.
And he told me to give you this.
You did it!
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
I'll never leave you again,
b*tch.
You better not, sugar daddy.
(SIGHS)
We ended racism that day.
Ain't no way I'd let those days
escape my memory.
I ain't got long, ese...
I sure would like
to f*ck Miranda
one last time, dawg.
Oh, yeah, you love that
spicy little b*tch.
k*ll him, Manley!
Do what I couldn't.
You know how I always got lost
in the roles
in those plays you directed.
I got lost for a long time.
Not as lost as I was
without you, little taco.
I will honor your name.
Gracias , Manley.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
(THUD)
The next man to die in my arms
better be Rich Cash.
()
Halftime's over, pretty boy.
(SPITS)
Who you calling pretty boy,
gorgeous?
(YELLS)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHS)
(GUY SCREAMS)
(YELLS)
(GROANS, COUGHS)
Can't get up?
(SCREAMS)
Well, maybe I can help.
()
GUY:
It's the money!
His fortune
is giving him these powers!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTS)
(ARROW WHOOSHES)
()
(GASPS)
Impossible.
(SCOFFS)
(GROANS)
(YELLS)
(GROANS)
(g*nshots)
(TRIGGER CLICKING)
Wait a minute.
b*ll*ts!
Where have I seen b*ll*ts
before?
b*ll*ts being shot.
Shot at my parents.
(g*nshots)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
()
(CRIES)
Okay, Manley.
Guilty!
It was me!
Naughty old Richard.
(CRIES)
Why k*ll parents?
(CRIES)
RICH:
You weren't made to understand.
MR. MANLEY:
I don't get it.
(SCREAMS)
()
You k*lled Ma.
You k*lled Pa.
And now you...
(expl*si*n)
(SCREAMS)
(GUY GROANS)
GUY:
So, he also trained
at the Dragon Tiger Fighting
Fire Mountains
over the Biru Tari
Kawii Patchi Seas.
That sword is amazing!
RICH:
It's just a sword.
GUY:
That sword is long.
RICH:
Thank you kindly.
GUY:
Oh, it's Manly!
(GRUNTS)
RICH:
Huh! Beat me?
With the ferrum hands of
iron power?
I was there when they were made
three years ago.
Prepare to die!
GUY:
I'm ready, let's go.
(GRUNTING)
()
Ooh!
(SCREAMS)
RICH:
Yes!
Feel my energy flow
through your veins!
(SCREAMS)
RICH:
I am money!
I am fortune!
I am Rich m*therf*cking Cash!
(BOTH SCREAM)
(g*nsh*t)
(expl*si*n)
(SCREAMS)
(GROANING)
()
()
What's with
all the prune juice, dude?
(GROANS)
Oh, like you haven't
read the article.
Go ahead, make fun of me
like everyone else.
Once I'm running sh*t,
everyone will drink it.
All of those who laughed at me
will wish
they could have
just one solid sh*t!
(GROANING)
So, you treat
your fecal impaction
while the whole city gets
the runs?
(GROANS)
The people will forgive me.
(GROANS)
They might.
But will your mother?
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
(RICH GROANS)
(expl*si*n)
RICH:
Mother!
()
(KID GIGGLING)
()
WOMAN 3:
Richard!
Have you picked
the neighbor's plums again?
(GIGGLES)
(SCRUNCHES)
Mo-- mo-- m-- m-- mother?
(BLOOD SPLASHES)
(GROANS)
(MUTTERING)
Oh, my son.
Mommy!
I never knew you were in pain.
Yes, I was! Yes, I was.
I was the heart extractor
this whole time!
(CROWD CHEERING)
()
I love you!
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
()
()
()
(GATE WHIRS)
Hmm.
(FOOTFALLS)
()
()
Ugh!
()
Hmm?
Guy Manley.
Don't you think it's time
for the truth?
What am I doing here?
About your parents,
your skills,
and your perfect body.
And how it's all connected
to the Cash bloodline
conspiracy.
You see
when your creation process
commenced, then--
Uh...
(GATE WHIRS)
(GUY GRUNTS)
()
BENNY: (ON TV)
Good day,
citizens of Dimburg City!
After last week's death of
soon-to-be mayor Rich Cash,
the protester m*ssacre,
and the destruction
of Cash Tower by Guy Manley,
the wife of Rich Cash,
b*tch Cash, has died,
And as if that wasn't enough
for poor Rich Cash,
his plans to laugh at everyone
crapping their pants everywhere
by poisoning
the city's water supply
with his plum juice
as revenge for people
laughing at him
not being able to crap at all
because of
his lifelong constipation,
those evil
revenge laughing plans
has now been stopped.
Also, his brother, runner-up
Buckminster Cash,
has now been elected mayor
in his place.
And of course, the citizens
have their opinions.
Over to you, Benny!
Thank you, Benny.
I'm standing here with Benny
and another Benny.
There's many Bennys.
What do you guys think?
Well, the promised reform
has been a long time coming.
So it's about time we get
a leader we can trust,
so we can actually see it
through.
Cash Tower
was a symbol of oppression,
and rebuilding it
really just shows
how these things never change,
you know?
Well, at first I thought that
Guy Manley was like a hero,
but you know that my wife is a
f*ck-Hard-A-Lot model X-69.
And honestly,
since those comments he made
about sexbot-relationships,
I just don't know anymore.
BENNY: (ON TV)
Thank you, Benny.
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
(WELDING MACHINE WHIRRING
IN BACKGROUND)
Ah, Mr. Manley,
I made you wait.
Oh.
I was just going through
some clothing guidelines
with an intern.
A drink,
now that the mission's over.
No, thank you,
I've permanently
stopped drinking for the moment.
(BUCK SCOFFS)
Well (SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
(SLURPS)
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
The office is looking fantastic.
(BUCK GRUNTS)
Sorry about the expl*si*n,
I won't do it again.
(BUCK CHUCKLES)
Not to worry, Mr. Manley.
I rebuild from ashes,
just like it was.
An expense I can afford,
now that the city
is paying for it.
Ah!
'Cause you're the mayor!
Yes.
When I was Baby Buck,
I was not allowed in here.
This office was only for
my father and my brother.
I asked to join, they laugh.
They spit on Baby Buck!
And then one day,
they dispose of me.
But they are not laughing
anymore.
Are they, Manley?
No, they're dead.
That would be spooky.
(BUCK CHUCKLES)
It was all so long ago.
Now I am mayor of this city!
Like father always wanted
for Richard.
You made me a very powerful man,
Mr. Manley.
I knew you were the man
for the job.
Which reminds me...
What a nice bag!
It is your reward.
My reward?
Well, the bag is nice.
Thank you.
I need more men like you,
Mr. Manley.
No moral compass,
never questioning orders.
It's beautiful.
The absence of choice
and contemplation,
is in a way,
the only reward you need.
I've actually grown a lot
since we last spoke
and not just personality-wise.
Hmm.
My empire has grown a lot, too,
while this city,
these people,
seem to have gotten smaller.
They all fit in the palm
of my hand!
You see, Mr. Manley,
you sell them an idea,
an abstraction.
And when it sticks,
they worship it.
While you take, and take,
and take,
until idea
is all they have left.
All they have left.
All they have left?
Right.
Well, they all have rights,
right?
What about 'em?
(SCOFFS)
Human rights?
Yeah!
Like Lewis was saying
about the human rights.
Rich Cash violated them.
It's very important to me,
now that I've learned everything
on my adventure.
I will admit my brother
made a lot of mistakes
concerning human rights.
They were bad and that's wrong.
Richards's constipation
made him weak!
You see, Manley,
rights are highly unprofitable.
What?
My brother's biggest mistake
was giving those peasants rights
in the first place!
What the f*ck?
Wrong, right is up to me
what goes down in this city.
Uh, what?
Left.
Up. Down.
Left. Right. Up.
What? No.
You simple, simple man.
You're a joke, Manley.
A joke.
Yeah, maybe I am a joke.
And this is the punch line.
sh*t.
(SCREAMS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(SCREAMING)
(BLOOD SPLASHES)
(KISSES)
(JETPACK WHIRS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(CLICKS BUTTON)
(expl*si*n)
Danger, danger
(WHOOSHES)
Danger, danger, yeah
That's right, baby
Guy Manley
Watch out,
he's a dangerous man
Getting in danger
whenever he can
When you're in trouble,
call for his help
Just now he supposed to be
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)
Get down,
he never had a plan
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)
His charming swagger
is unparalleled
The ladies
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)
Yeah
Wow
()
Guy Manley
back to save the day
Guy Manley
Guy Manley does anything
that pays
Guy Manley
Guy Manley,
that's his actual name
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
Ain't afraid of no
Danger
Yeah
That's right
Ooh, ooh
Oh, yeah
Ooh
Danger
Danger, danger
Danger
Danger, danger
Danger
Danger, danger
Danger
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
Guy Manley
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(GUY SCREAMING)
MAN 7:
My God!
When was this taken?
(TYPING)
(BEEP)
Just now, sir.
We need to call him!
Call him now!
Yes!
(DIAL WHIRS)
We need your help.
Yesterday we received
this distress message.
Mr. President! Can you hear me?
This chaos over here!
I need Guy Manley now,
or The Guys in Concrete
Colored Hoodies!
Get away!
(SCREAMS)
As you can see,
the situation is pretty bad.
And we just got word in
that Guy Manley
is lost somewhere in space.
And we have no idea
where to find him.
Which means
our last hope is you guys!
The Battle of Cash Tower
is over,
but the battle for Dimburg--
(LAUGHS)
Has just begun!
(YELLING, FIRING)
(YELLING, FIRING)
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
()
(CONVERSATION IN SWEDISH)
I want you
to k*ll Mr. Rich Cash,
my brother.
GUY:
Rich Cash, the president
of Cash Enterprises?
It must be impossible to get
to him.
Manley.
LEWIS:
I've read everything about you,
Mr. Manley!
(CHUCKLES)
LEWIS:
You're a legend, sir.
A legend!
I sure am.
(SPEAKS SWEDISH)
GUY:
Tell me about this Mr. Cash
He's basically done it all.
I'm talkin' movies,
music,
TV shows.
(SCREAMS)
MAN 8:
(SPEAKS SWEDISH)
(SCREAMS)
GUARD 3:
(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
MAN 8:
Okay, okay.
(MAN LAUGHING)
MAN 8:
(SPEAKS SWEDISH)
I'm here, Mr. Manley.
And everything is hooked up
and ready!
GUY:
Who are you
to call me little man?
GUARD 5:
Mr. Cash wants you to leave now.
Enough blood has been spilled.
(TIRES SCREECH)
LEWIS:
Mr. Manley!
There are people
outside my door!
They're on to me!
Hey, Lewis,
I think I k*lled them all.
(YELLING)
GUY:
With my g*n!
(YELLING)
It's lookin' beautiful, Manley!
(YELLING)
LEWIS:
Well, take this earpiece
so we can communicate
in the tower.
CASH:
I am fortune, I am money.
I am Rich m*therf*cking Cash!
(g*nsh*t)
Guy Manley!
(CHUCKLES)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
GUY:
Looks like that m*therf*cker
was allergic to b*ll*ts!
()
(LYRICS IN SWEDISH)
()
(GATE WHIRS)
Hmm.
()
RICH:
The conspiracy
is deeper than you could ever
imagine.
My journey through the caves
and caverns,
the crypts and the tombs
of Dimburg's underground
led me to the secrets kept
for years
concerning the Cash bloodline
conspiracy.
(KA-CHING)
GUY:
First discovered by...
...Barnabus Bloodsworth!
Let the creation process...
...commence!
(SCREAMS)
GUY:
The creation process of
the next Guy Manley movie
will commence.
That will finally answer...
...everything.
(MAN LAUGHS)
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Guy Manley - A Real Movie (2024)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341
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