01x01 - Batteries Not Included

[bunniefuu]

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good morning children I am here to tell

you about the Garbage Pail Kids show it

is disgusting obnoxious and worst of all

gross

I think it's terrible that they would

put something like this on TV don't you

oh good I'm glad you agree now change

the channel

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oh

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[Applause]

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foreign

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thank you

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miserable kids don't you have no respect

let's party

Galaxy's nowhere's Bill hey I heard

about this hot new planet it's called

Earth great trash heaps good smog it's

tops this better not be one of those

loser planets you've been taking us to

nah I've heard it's the best Dump around

there it is

a great party place to my eyes

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this is Pop Glenn I'm tracking a huge

UFO what should I do blast them will do

I got them sighted he's everywhere from

six o'clock low to 12 O'Clock High even

Mike m*ssile couldn't miss him

lunch missiles

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you can't treat me like that I'm

expensive Mike sh**t down UFO if you

think I'm gonna slam my head into that

thing you've got another thing coming

good thing they have an open window

ignore me what did he say I think he

said follow me

this must be some Party Planet it was

not the flying I object to

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there's those Landings that really hurt

oh

no

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oh get off me

the aliens have landed and are deploying

some strange kind of alien Weaponry This

Is w*r Ready the bombers and send out

the tanks

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bro stick army ants in here

correction that's Arnold and Arnie for

short well get out of here we'll try to

have a picnic not to worry

smells like the food's better in town

anyway forward much

you had a good home at your left you're

right you had a good home at your land

you're right

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a big hand is on the 11 and the little

hat is on the 12. we attack in three

minutes wait a minute they've sent out

an invasion force of army X deploy pack

time immediately there's got to be

something sweet around here

ah ants take that stand

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this is General Patton we're gonna get

those ants and I don't want to see any

cowardice

okay might just step back to the picnic

site yes sir

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it appears the aliens are whipping

themselves into a battle frenzy this one

is Manning some sort of exotic weapon I

hope some cute guys show up don't worry

about a thing we've got those aliens

blasted dump the trash

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party favors

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that's the last we'll see of those

clowns Squadron return to base

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folks are friendly

friendly I never expected the Welcome

Wagon like Galactic we ought to stay

here forever these guys know how to

party

the Slime slingers

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black d*ck

yum slime

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they're eating the Slime and they're

growing at an alarming rate this is a

turning point in history

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now hear this all lands on the forward

we're dead

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oh vessels stand by the fire

bombarded

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fireworks show

us great they want to play

judge their cows are attacking

stand by the withdrawal

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[Applause]

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was it something we said maybe their

folks have a curfew

we interrupt this broadcast to bring you

a special bulletin aliens have attacked

the Earth

aliens let's get out of here yeah before

the aliens find us

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goody goody I maybe was stronger than

the aliens and they all run away

but we still got the big bad problem

they left behind an army of army ants

and

didn't even talk whoosh and big old

pattern can't beat them up

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chewy still tasty upholstery

thank you

unleash the super slime bombs

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horses the Earth is safe once more good

night and sweet dreams everybody

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[Applause]

foreign

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with realistic Battle Scars for only one

thousand dollars and don't miss this one

little Miss diaper the cutest toy ever

made

yeah

you rich you Richard little isn't that

nice yes kids come on down to Friendly

House a Wheeling is dealing this toy

dealer in the USA and get your used toys

no

and now for another exciting installment

of

toothy roofie is passing Ohio brushes

your teeth and goes to the dentist

regularly once every five years

[Applause]

that nerd scares off the famous criminal

Ken crook

[Applause]

and everybody else she was embarrassed

to be associated with him

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let me just snap these in and we'll hear

Peter's new story

hello I'm Peter pushpin who are you I am

Terry I am Patty we've already been

introduced today I am going to tell you

a nice story do you want to hear it yes

once you hear it you hear it you hear it

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he's wrecked sure is acting cuckoo oh

the batteries fit your street Smasher to

a t all right nothing can stop my street

smashed with its sleeping power action

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boy you're in trouble now

foreign

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Center what about the girls

they shall also be summoned to the

control center

[Applause]

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hurry

welcome to the trash fairy Command

Center and now here's to rash can can

the fun Busters plot the destruction of

all toys they attack the engine through

the fuel the body through the food

attack what attack that's for us to

figure out

trash out

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[Applause]

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cool to feel untogether again hey guys I

must have irritation I had to buy a new

piece of refuse technology this is hot

Thug though he's disguised as a normal

Frank I'm not a Frank I'm a thug huh oh

correct he is a dog not a Frank

nevertheless he is a brilliant Espionage

agent catch

a little more respect hey now begin your

investigation I have a theory of what's

going on

trash can can said they attacked the

engine through the fuel the body through

the food I think it means uh of course

engines don't run without food and toys

don't run without batteries that's what

happened to Peter pushpin in to the

street Smasher then let's go over to

k*ll Choice store where we got those

batteries

goodness me how gross

yeah gross hello hello

stay away from them it might be catching

oh good afternoon my dear Darlings what

can I do for you we have a mess we've

got to unscramble yeah I'm sure you do

both batteries

toys oh oh dear that is terrible I was

suspicious when the man from the battery

company gave them to me for free where

is this company hmm

let me see

oh and get it don't worry it's coming

back

sorry about that here we are the factory

is at Woodland and Lakeside gee what an

ugly building may we inspect the

premises sir can't you read

the gates of this company don't open for

no punk kids hey we're not Punk sir

we're Garbage Pail Kids make tracks your

bums or I'll call the cops

they have been refused admittance as

planned unless I'm very wrong they will

attempt to enter the factory when it is

closed the gates open let's go guys

Geronimo

look just as I thought these batteries

were not made here

possibly know that Elementary Watson I

know products of the Acme mattress

company yes and we're looking for

Batteries Not mattresses

surrender now for our children and we

might still clean you up

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let me out of here

Brian squished

okay

Direct

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foreign

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busting beans

redial and two to go Blood Out

follow them and Report the whereabouts

of their secret lair

one of them somehow got to weave what

what'd he say sorry my brains got

scrambled I mean we've got to warn them

somehow

hey

where are the others they're caught

we've got to get the trash can can

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it's time for the street Smasher fear

not Cherry baby I'll save us give me a

break something quiet I hear I mean

that was miserable filthy little garbage

failures

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give me a report on the battery

development

we have completed production of enough

batteries to ruin most of the toys in

America

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no who left no right forward oh

you okay Elliot yeah I'm fine I'm not so

get off me I said get off me

ouch

Doug good I was getting hungry you just

try and eat me no kid we need Doug to

warn the others all right

I couldn't be yeah

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we're almost home

Petty Dwayne drag why do dogs have keen

ears and people in your noses too

better eyes and legs

hey get lost my dude you're digging

somewhere else

yeah I hope he doesn't have a bad slice

investigation has run dry but I see a

watery solution what do you mean trash

can can even now information is winging

its way to us

who goes there don't give me no who goes

there I've been sat on nearly crushed by

a door almost bit by a mutt whacked with

a golf club

hot dog you're safe yeah and I ran my

dogs off for you guys do you have any

information for us the kids are being

cooped in the old Power Station sir

okay be quick about it

it's locked no problem

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foreign

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went perfectly when these batteries are

delivered every toy in America will slow

to an agonizing the heart

likely beans let's do it with you best

[Applause]

oh I'm gonna scrap you clean your filthy

little punk oh yeah

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you haven't heard The Last of Us does

that voice sound familiar to you yes

very

the toy store owner not only should I

have uh I mean I should have known he

wasn't grossed out when he saw us never

trust an adult who is engrossed out by a

garbage paler

you should have seen them run yeah they

were hurting for certain you kids are a

credit to garbage everywhere now clean

it up

hey cool it

I'm trying to catch some

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today's Garbage Pail award goes to the

biggest bully around

first he bullied his little sister

many bullied other kids

[Applause]

then finally ran out of other people a

bully so he bullied himself yeah

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

foreign

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squishy don't you think I'm cute I think

I'm cute my friend think I'm cute

but

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I'm so cute for the garbage Bell show

well but on them I'm not gonna change

just to be on this show

please

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