01x02 - Honest Abe has a Close Shave

[bunniefuu]

hi I'm squishy don't you think I'm cute

I think I'm cute my friends think I'm

cute

but they say I'm too cute for the

garbage Bell show

well but on them I'm not gonna change

just to be on this show

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thank you

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no

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all right

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perfect

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a nice lazy ride on a nice lazy day with

your favorite girl at your side and my

favorite horses don't forget flaky paint

how could I ever forget he goes

everywhere with us yeah isn't it

wonderful

yeah terrific

this is the easiest delivery we've had

in months no sign of those Stagecoach

robbers the hole in the head kids

anywhere yep Willis town no name we'll

get its gold shipment with no trouble

Famous Last Words a Butch that's right

Summer come let's get him

[Applause]

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yep

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[Applause]

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faster yeah

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thank you

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there see we lost them

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I don't see him anywhere do you no I

think we really lost him

then again maybe not all right who's

right there

what do declare Clint hardwood and

Valley button well now that there's

Butch casualty and I have some vert Kip

and we got you covered

I'll never get away with this of course

we will say what's this that gold

shipment's for the town with no name you

better not take it who wants it

robbers not gold robbers here

almost dirty no good rotten wait a

minute it's not time for a sunset

there only Heroes gets right off in the

sunset

water sorry Old Timer I don't have any

water no water and you're going into the

desert you'll never make it I've got no

choice someone's got to deliver the gold

to the town with no name report the

stagecoach robbery to ship why not Burt

say belly button and rescue my horse and

it looks like it's gonna be me

backpack

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[Applause]

dinner's on the way

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dinner's here dinner's here dinner food

where right here silly great let's see

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I haven't had a fighting days

maybe I can help you out with that

hey that's not the kind of bite I meant

where's the food in this restaurant I

don't think you get it you're the food

what's the fella gotta do to get a

decent meal around here anyway

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I can't crawl another step

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crabby cabby company may I help you yes

can you please send a cab to

the desert we'll be right there thank

you and have a nice day

we're too Mack the names Clinton take me

to the town with no name gotcha

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thank you

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dang mirages

do you know the way to the town with no

name how not how where why why what why

not because I've got to get to the

sheriff report a crime and get my belly

button in my flaky paint back take the

first right at the intersection then

turn right again at the small Trading

Post second town on the left

foreign

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population seven and a half

this is the place

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which casualty and sunburnt keep her in

town all right and they got a brand

spanking new stage coach to boot believe

they're over at the playpen I believe

I'll just head over to the playpen

Saloon after I make a deposited piggy

bank

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thank you

wow oh made

Glenn Hardwood

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[Applause]

foreign

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you must be hungry

really I didn't know you liked it

foreign

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hey kids does this scene look familiar

to you kiss and garlic and Uncle cigar

hello

well this doesn't have to happen anymore

when someone wants to kiss you if you

use any kissing cream

just rub this cream on your cheek and

kiss and garlic and Uncle cigar hello

yes friends no more sloppy kissing with

any kissing cream

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I'm a Sherwood Forest has granted 10

types of bird shape and hasn't yet grown

a single bird

well maybe next time I'll grow me some

birds

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[Applause]

if you tune that channel and watch any

other show you're handled turning green

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all clear I cannot tell a lie the tour

is split I'm in the mood for some life

liberty and pursuit of trashiness

and easy keep ing a stiff face all day

I'm tired of being taken for granted I

couldn't quit your plan could complain

and at least it's a steady job what all

of you

I need my beauty rest

oh

come on

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lower lower

cap are you idiot

okay raise him up

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hurry

I have

I have this from Louis litter at Mount

Rushmore like I said trash can can it's

total chaos they had to shut down the

mountain it'd take a pretty rotten

person to steal the head of Franklin

Lincoln people steal what they do not

have there's got to be something we can

do to help you can help but first

trash out

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oh

[Applause]

for this Mission you will need Rustin

Justin

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hello

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Lord Justin we gotta get to Rushmore

fast

[Applause]

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increase your speed I won't rest easy

until we reach our final destination

hey guys stop snoring so loud

huh what am I doing here what's going on

oh somebody please

hi big guy huh what I can't hear you

with all that noise

kidnapped while the four of us were

snoring

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seven years ago great speech loved it

help

we feel awful it's not the same without

wrinkling Lincoln at first we thought he

left on his own after all sooner or

later most rock groups split up I hope

he can help it feels so weird to have a

missing head that's it

can can man

and you need it

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think about it trash can intensive he

will steal what they do not have you

mean somebody doesn't have a wrinkling

Lincoln no I get it sprinkling Lincoln

is ahead without a statue therefore

somewhere out here is a statue without a

head that's right Justin take us to the

Jones onion Institute

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hello we're being followed

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foreign

sure are a lot of weird things in this

Museum you

to help us Professor do you know any

statues that are missing heads hmm Venus

de Milo is missing her arms no winged

victory yes see she doesn't have a head

but Franklin Lincoln's head's too big

for her true hmm wait I remember reading

about a discovery of a headless Sphinx

all right where is it

somewhere in Egypt but its exact

location is a big secret we've got to

get to Egypt fast

use bombed bill

foreign

Mediterranean already not much longer

till Egypt

we're closing in on the bus man good

bump them off

I'll show them

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[Applause]

yeah hey what do you know we're in Egypt

look at that desert it's huge how are we

ever going to find ricklin Lincoln

yay maybe he can help us

well as I live and breathe it's the

Garbage Pail Kids

we help your need I need your help we're

looking for a head with no statue I mean

a statue with no help I mean oh you're

looking for that other things the one

they're fixing up to compete with me for

the tourist business they've got some

nerve could you tell us about it we have

I mean get to the point what he means is

I know what he means that's why I said

get to the point the Headless Sphinx is

on the other side of the great pointy

pyramid

foreign

this is a restricted area so get lost

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Sphinx poor wrinkling Lincoln those

bricks they shaved him and covered him

with makeup

what's what's going on we've come to

emancipate you there they are

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no you think you've got me trapped huh

we should do

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all right

foreign

[Applause]

wait someone's coming I wonder where

they went

they come this way

maybe they're hiding back over there

now for the final ingredient At Last I

found the secret of King Tut's crazy

paste crazy paste why would anyone want

that at least everything wow

what did you like to know

you're not going anywhere you're doomed

in that case would you please explain

what's going on my pleasure it all

started when I discovered that the

ancient Egyptians used crazy paste to

glue together the blocks of the mighty

pyramids so that's it you're going to

paste Franklin Lincoln to the Headless

things permanently

first I'll test it on you troublemakers

but how can I be seen like this without

my beard

don't worry we'll take care of that

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[Applause]

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everything's set for the grand reopening

we used a ton of cardboard and I bet a

half mile of tape do you think anyone

will notice the difference Maybe

but it's only temporary Till's real beer

grows back

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this is the cheater his crime series

numerous as they are stupid

first he cheated in games

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and he cheated at school

finally he cheated himself

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[Applause]

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oh

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