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02x13 - The Shock Will k*ll You

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Greatest American Hero". Aired: March 18, 1981 – February 3, 1983.*
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Ralph Hinkley is a Los Angeles teacher of remedial education high school students who encounters extraterrestrials that give him a suit which endows him with superhuman abilities.

02x13 - The Shock Will k*ll You

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

Recapping briefly, the
events of the last 24 hours,

the space shuttle
is still in orbit.

Astronauts Hyer and
Wilson have remained silent,

despite all efforts by Houston
Control to raise them by radio.

According to Flight Control, all
electrical systems are inoperative,

all battery packs are
mysteriously dead.

Mysteriously dead, huh?

My battery goes mysteriously
dead, and I've had it.

They're supposed to
know what they're doing.

It's awful. Try Bill again.

Oh. And has been in
a degenerating orbit...

Let's see. For the
last two weeks.

In what was regarded as the
first rescue mission in space,

the shuttle, with Captains
Alvin Hyer and Dale Wilson,

took off yesterday to rendezvous with
the unmanned Eagle scoop explorer.

The rendezvous was achieved at
2:15 p.m. Houston time yesterday.

But once the scoop
explorer was on board,

the shuttle mysteriously began
experiencing the same loss of power.

The astronauts
have portable oxygen,

and depending on when
they turned those bottles on,

it is difficult to say whether
they're still able to breathe up there.

Houston is at a loss to
explain the malfunction.

There has been no comment
from Houston Control...

as to whether or not
astronauts Hyer and Wilson...

could have survived
Columbia's power loss.

Ralph. What are you doing? I've been trying
to call you on the phone. It's always busy.

Bill, I was trying to get you. I woke up this
morning and this was going on, so I called Pam.

Yeah. Listen. I called a
guy that I knew from Korea.

He's on a NASA team, and
he says it's coming down.

- What, the Columbia?
- Yeah. It's way out of orbit.

Two more revolutions
and it's coming in.

They think the guys are already dead. If
not, they're gonna be by the time it hits.

It's crashing, Ralph,
less than three hours.

- Do they have any idea
where it's gonna fall?
- Yeah.

Latitude, 35 degrees,
uh, 20 minutes north,

longitude, 119 degrees,
one minute west.

- Bill, where the devil is that?
- That is downtown Bakersfield.

Come on, kid. Get the
jammies. You gotta stop this one.

I don't know if I can do that. That
thing must weigh a couple thousand tons!

If we don't try, a whole lot
of people are gonna bite it,

along with one of this country's
most important pieces of equipment.

Come on. Let's go. You too, counselor.
We can make Bakersfield in two hours.

That still gives us a half hour leeway
on the crash. Come on. Let's move it.

I don't know if I can do that.
What am I supposed to do?

Go up there and-and-and
catch it or something?

We'll work something out, Ralph. Please stay
tuned for updates as they are made available.

Works for me.

How am I supposed to catch a
zillion pounds of spaceship, Bill?

It does not weigh a
zillion pounds, Ralph.

Come on. It's a space shuttle.

It flies around piggyback
on the tops of other airplanes.

Yeah, but how am I supposed to catch it?
How am I supposed to spot it in the sky?

Yeah, Bill. It
leaves a vapor trail.

Ralph spots the vapor
trail, flies up underneath it...

and lands it out there
in the desert someplace.

Counselor, look in the glove
compartment. Get the California map.

Let's find a place to land
this thing outside Bakersfield.

See, the thing that's
got me worried, Bill, is...

how am I supposed to catch a spaceship
traveling through the sky at Mach 2?

Ralph, you're gonna do
it because... you gotta.

Oh. Well, that answers
all of my questions.

Do you have any questions,
Pam? Where's the map, Bill?

There's nothing in
here but g*n magazines.

Oh, yeah. That's for stakeouts.
I do the crosswords in the back.

- In g*n magazines? You're not serious.
- Yeah, sure.

Give me a six-letter word
for a German-made g*n...

with a 902.5 muzzle velocity
and a 7.65-millimeter slug.

A Luger? Uh, Mauser.

Look under the seat. Maybe it
slipped out. And another thing, Bill.

I'm sure this is all gonna be
carried on national television.

What am I supposed to do,
streak in there like the Red Baron...

and grab it while the nation
watches on television?

Okay, I got the map.
Bakersfield, hmm? Yeah.

You see, the problem is, I
figure the wheels won't be down.

Did you ever think of that? How am I
supposed to land it with the wheels up?

Ralph, you all set?
You ready to go?

Bill, I'm worried about not
having the wheels down.

Wheels? What wheels?
They're not gonna be down.

Exactly. So how do I land it?

Bill! Bill, I see
it! There it is!

Yeah! Yeah, look
at that baby come in!

I figure with the wheels
up and me underneath it,

I got a good chance of
ending up like road pizza.

Okay, Ralph. Get up there and
grab that sucker and bring it on in.

Uh, Bill, now, wait a minute
here. Okay, Ralph, listen to me.

I want you to be careful,
and remember that I love you.

Remember, set it down real easy at that little
farm, east of town. The one we looked at.

Give me a call on the walkie-talkie.
The counselor and I will be there.

Wait a minute! You guys
are not listening to me!

Ralph, I've been listening.
I heard all your questions,

and there is an answer...
One answer to all of them.

I got a minute.

The answer is I don't know. You're
gonna have to do the best you can.

Works for me.

Here goes nothing.

Columbia is coming
in. We have a Mayday.

Evacuation is not complete.
All medical facilities on standby.

The space shuttle is
crashing in a populated area.

All crash units, hold
on your perimeters.

We will notify with crash grids.

There he is. Up.

Up. Pull it up, kid.
You gotta miss town.

He's not doing it, Bill. Well, good-bye,
beautiful downtown Bakersfield.

I don't think he can lift it.

It looks like he's
trying to steer it instead.

Wrong way, kid! The wrong way!

You gotta go straight...
straight toward the east of town.

Come on. Let's go.

Unexpectedly, the shuttle
made a sharp-banking right turn...

and has set down in
the west side of town.

Crash units are on the way. Houston
Control has asked all civilians...

to please not attempt to
go to the site of the landing,

as it will only
hamper rescue efforts.

We will broadcast updates as news
becomes available. He did it! He did it!

Bill, look at him. Look at his
hair. It's sticking straight up!

Ralph, are you okay?

Don't touch me. Don't touch
me. I'm charged with electricity.

You're what? What happened?

Well, I... The shuttle
was charged...

With electricity? They said
the battery packs were all dead.

Well, the power packs
may have been all dead, Bill,

but something was... electrifying
the outer skin of the shuttle.

I mean, it was like sticking
your finger into a wall socket.

- What about the astronauts?
- I holographed on them
while I was bringing her in.

They were dead long
before I ever got there.

Well, you can't walk around
like this, Ralph. Well, I...

Look. Electricity drains
when it's properly grounded.

There's some railroad
tracks. Go stand on them.

Oh, I'd be afraid I'd
cook a train or something.

Ralph, trains are grounded.
Go on. Do it. Stand on them.

All right.

Thanks, hon. Voilà.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. It's terrific.

Well, we still gotta try
the old, uh, touch test now.

Since I'm the senior
officer, I volunteer.

Whoa! Look at me.

Look at me. I'm a... a magnet.

Yeah.

Well, at least I can touch you.

Let's solve your electric-magnetic
problem in a motel room.

It's getting crowded
around here. Let's go.

Look at what I'm doing here.

Oh, boy!

Well, uh, it's okay.
We'll work something out.

I think.

I can hardly wait to take
this trick to a c*ck party.

The electricity charging through
the outer skin of the shuttle.

Officials at NASA have decided
not to open the spacecraft...

until it's in a
contained setting.

It's been lifted with a
rubber-tong-fitted crane onto the truck...

that is carrying it to the Ashton
Air Force Base near Bakersfield.

Okay, open up.
F.B.I. This is a bust.

Yeah, yeah. When it isn't possible
for the astronauts to have survived...

Groceries. The
electrical charge.

Okay.

Since we understand thousands of
volts of electricity are in the spacecraft,

there is little hope for
their survival. Thank you.

And. Thank you.

Where's Ralph?
He's in the bathroom.

When he comes out, the TV
goes crazy. Bill, is that you?

I'm starving, boy.

Table's set. Let's eat.

Did you see that? Look at that!

Oh!

Oh, this is gonna
be loads of fun.

I've just got to be sure never to
get between you and the kitchen.

I'll give it back to
you later, all right?

Huh. Listen. Why don't
you take the suit off?

Well, we were
thinking about that, Bill.

But what if the electrical
charge on Ralph...

or the force field or
something could k*ll him?

I mean, he could take off
the suit and keel over dead.

Yeah. That's good
thinking. I didn't think of that.

Well, I hope you guys
know I don't look forward...

to going through life as
a Van DeGraff generator.

Right. Well, anybody
got any ideas?

Well, sure, of course we do. Uh, we just
have to take a minute here to figure it out.

Come on. We've been thrown
a lot of curves in our time.

We just have to learn how to
deal with this one. That's all.

Give me a 12-letter word describing an
American firearm that sticks to a belt buckle.

Yeah, that's right, Ralph.

Yeah. Keep the old
sense of humor going.

Keep your spirits
up, yeah. What a guy.

Now, lookit. However the, uh, power
packs on the Venus probe were drained,

the same malfunction caused the
shuttle to, uh, become inoperative.

And now it's beginning
to happen to me.

So I have to surmise that it has something
to do with a, uh... a force field...

or a cosmic vortex or something.

Cosmic vortex?

Bill, I'm trying to get a
handle on it, all right?

"It"? You mean like, "thing" it?

I mean, like I don't know.

Just what I always wanted... a bread
sandwich. The slaw looks good though.

Yeah. I sure wish I
had a spoon or a fork.

Well, they're crawling around
on the bed. Help yourself.

I'm not shocking anyone anymore. You
don't have to sit way over there, you know.

Right. Right.

Well, Ralph, it's not that
we don't love you anymore.

- You feel like I'm gonna
pick your pocket, is that it?
- Kind of. Yeah.

You know, Ralph, what you
did, it's really a wonderful thing.

I just wish I could have
saved those astronauts is all.

Those guys were probably
dead before the news ever hit TV.

I don't think anybody could have helped
them. But look at all the lives you saved...

by keeping that thing from belly
flopping in the middle of Bakersfield.

- I think you ought to be
real proud about that.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.

You put it like that, I
mean, uh, who wouldn't be?

Well, don't look at me.

I'm not looking at you,
Ralph. I can hardly see you.

Ralph, check the lightbulbs.

Look at this. Lookit.
I'm lighting this bulb up.

He's lighting up that
lightbulb! Lookit! Lookit, lookit.

We sound like we belong
in a d*ck and Jane book.

Wait a second. It's,
uh, not just this room.

It's the whole motel.
Hold on a minute.

- What's going on?
- A power out.

Apparently they had a big overload at
Ashton Air Force Base, blew out everything.

It's driving me nuts. I feel like some
kind of electric eel or something.

Just don't touch anything metal. You're
shorting out the whole system here.

This is really strange. Lights
are going out all over the place.

Bill, you remember the New
York blackout? You remember that?

- Panic in the streets
and everything.
- Nothing happened there, Ralph,

except a mini-baby boom
about nine months later.

It was just some switches and circuit
breakers. That's all. Nothing mysterious.

- There's plenty of ways
to explain this stuff.
- What time you got there?

Uh... Hey. Well, pick a number.

It's still spinning, huh?
Boy, I tell you what.

Many a man would be on the
brink of depression, but not me.

Boy, old Ralph
has got it together.

It'll be okay, Ralph. This
isn't gonna last. It can't.

Ashton Air Force Base. Yeah,
that's it. That's where we're headed.

Let's start at the beginning.
That's a good place.

We get to the base, Ralph
goes invisible, slips inside,

eavesdrops the damage control
report, finds out what's happening...

and we can evaluate our options.

Just sneak in quick and quiet.
It's real simple. Works for me.

Ralph, will you
please quit that?

I'm just trying to keep
my spirits up, all right?

Yeah, it's all right. Let's
synchronize our watches.

Better yet, why
don't you take mine?

Uh, Ralph, up and
over. We'll wait here.

Good luck. "Good
luck"? Is that all I get?

- And a watch.
- You're sending me in there,

hotter than a bowl full of chili, Ralph
Hinkley, the walking, talking lightbulb?

Works for me.

I love a real covert operation.

All right.

The power is draining off the shuttle, but
still holding a pretty healthy static charge.

What the hell's happening
out there? It's three...

We got the power
back on at least.

Unplug that thing.

It is unplugged, sir.

All right. Let's get back to
the problem. Lieutenant?

We took a scraping of the residue
from the floor under the shuttle.

Lab report said it's holding the same kind
of charge that the shuttle came down with.

And? Come on, son. What else?

Well, sir, it seems to be
some kind of protein gelatin.

Its molecular structure is...
is... Well, to put it bluntly, it's...

Look, Ted. It's a life-form
of some sort... a life-form.

It's not from this
planet. Possibly.

We've got to stop acting as
if this thing... whatever it is...

Does not exist,
because it does exist,

and I've got two dead astronauts
and a ground crewman to prove it.

Look at these pictures.
Look at this, Ted.

These were taken by the security
cameras before the power went out.

Run down the rest
of the report to me.

Well, sir, we're speculating
that it has no metallic content,

and yet it holds a
huge electrical charge.

It appears to feed
on A.C. current, Ted.

The only analogy we can make... earthbound
analogy, genetically, is an electric eel.

Well, I mean, that's... You know,
that's a... pretty loose comparison.

- Drawn toward electricity.
- It seems to be.

It gobbled up three
generators pretty fast.

We've been trying to track
it with an electronic monitor.

Good. We'll figure out
where it is, and we'll contain it.

We think it's already
off the base, Ted.

It's in the main power
cable tunnel heading south.

That's terrific. Let's
see what's happening.

Well, sir, we don't
know how fast it moves.

We've got mountains and 15
tunnels coming off one junction.

It's a maze. In some cases, those
tunnels are down some 200, 300 feet.

The granite won't
conduct the electricity.

You're telling me we lost this
scummy thing down there somewhere?

Ted, I think it's got to be
considered a real possibility.

What the hell
happened to the lights?

Hey, I got my
flashlight back on.

Trace 16-J on through
to the box on line five.

Then check the junction tunnels.

We're spilling a hellacious amount
of juice down there somewhere.

I should have
stayed in the navy.

I'll be working in the main tunnel
up toward the base. Yeah, right.

Anderson? I'm at the,
uh, L.A. junction feed.

Anderson? Anderson?

Anderson?

I think I found the problem.

Anderson? Anderson?

When are they gonna give
us some equipment that works?

I don't buy it. I don't buy it.

If George S. Patton
himself... God rest him...

Got out of his box and told
me personally, I wouldn't buy it.

If the green guys thought
it was important enough,

I'm sure that they could
arrange for something like that.

Yeah, but come on. Space
monsters? Give me a break, Ralph.

I send you in there for a
little easy search and vibe...

to figure out the problem
with your electric suit,

and you parachute us right in the
middle of a Japanese horror movie.

I know it sounds incredible. I wouldn't
believe it myself, but I saw this thing!

Ralph, you actually...
You actually saw this thing?

I... Well, I... I saw a picture of it
and what it's capable of doing.

- It's horrible.
- Space monsters! I'm gonna get sick.

Okay. Okay. No, no,
no. Okay. Let us assume,

for the sake of argument, that we
have here a 40-ton ball of slime...

that eats electricity and
is headed for Los Angeles.

- What do we do about it?
- I thought you were
the operational genius.

That's good, counselor. That's real
good. Kick it back to Uncle Maxwell.

The basic manual of
instruction does not...

I repeat... does not cover the
second feature at a drive-in.

Look. These guys
said that if this thing...

gets into the mountains,
they will not be able to track it.

I saw a map of the underground cable
system. It's a huge network of tunnels...

heading all the way
into Los Angeles.

This thing could go anywhere. But
they said it was heading south, right?

And they said it was
drawn to electricity.

So it's probably heading
towards the biggest charge.

That's got to be the
power plants in L.A.

We gotta dope this thing out.
We gotta pull over. That's what.

Ralph, uh, you have
to get out of the car,

because we have
to listen to the radio.

Please?

We interrupt this broadcast to bring
you a KXGC Nightly News Bulletin.

Electrical power outages have
been reported in the town of Newhall...

and the city of Flintridge, leaving the
northern portion of L.A. county in darkness.

Please be advised to avoid
any unnecessary travel,

and stay tuned to this
station for further information.

I can't take it anymore!

You know, it's one thing to have this suit and
to go through life looking like Captain Gonzo,

but this thing with alarms
going off and lights...

and wristwatches
sticking to my chest...

I mean, I think I'm handling it
pretty good though, don't you?

Huh? Huh? Don't you think I am?

You think I like driving around in a car that
belches and toots and is driving me blind?

You think I like little green guys lurking
around and dead guys talking to me?

No, I do not like it, but,
uh, we do what we gotta.

Since we all know how strong we're being about
this, shall we concentrate on the problem, huh?

The radio says Hallendale's
the next place to be hit.

That means this thing is definitely moving
towards L.A., and moving pretty darn fast.

We can't let it get into the city. I
mean, uh, where does it go next?

If it starts trekking across state lines, it
could literally black out the whole country.

We still have a chance to head
it off at Hallendale's power plant.

We could get in there, maybe turn
up the generators and draw it up.

Yeah, right. Oh, finally, a
scenario with a potential.

Let's see the map again. We're
gonna rope this sucker in and...

And what? What are we
gonna do once we have it?

Ralph is gonna grab this thing by
the snout and wipe his nose for him...

and wad it up and slam-dunk
him back into space.

Works for me.

Oh, that doesn't look
good. It's dark, foreboding.

It's like those
movies. What movies?

Where the thing comes out and goes "blah,"
and you drop the popcorn under the seat.

You certainly know how
to sum up a situation, Bill.

Well, come on. We can't just
stand here all night. Let's go.

Rear guard?

Ralph, somebody has to do it.

Bill, come in. I think that
thing was definitely here.

I'll take a look around, but
I'm pretty sure it's long gone.

Listen, Bill. That thing hasn't
been in there in at least an hour.

See, the thing is, we
gotta figure out a way...

to put the kibosh on this
uh, thing, uh, whatever it is.

I think the first thing we have
to do is pinpoint where it is...

Exactly where it is... drop Ralph in
there, uh, in the tunnel at that location,

and then he bags this thing,
and it's the end of the scenario.

The thing is, you're not
listening to me again.

I don't know if this suit
is gonna be effective...

against something
that isn't from this world.

How do I know the suit can
take any more electricity?

My God, how do I know that I
can take any more electricity?

We'll work something out, Ralph.

While you guys are working something
out, I'm gonna go in the bathroom...

and shave and try and
keep my sense of humor.

Bill, I'm worried. What if we can't
stop whatever it is that thing did to him?

He can't very well go
through life like this.

No. I know. Anyway,
first things first. Come on.

While he's out of the room, let's
get an update on this little disaster.

And the unexplained
power failures continue.

The cities of Glendale and
North Hollywood are already dark,

confirming the
city's worst fears.

Within hours, the entire city of
Los Angeles could be in the dark.

Ralph, do you hear that?
Glendale's out. It's still moving.

Ow!

Ralph, what happened?

I stuck my hand
under the water and...

Ralph, you could have
electrocuted yourself!

Yeah. Yeah.

What's the matter?

Whatever I'm charged with must
come from that thing in the space shuttle.

Now, its entire system is...
Is charged with electricity.

Ralph, that's terrific. That's it! You
got it! We'll blow his fuses for him.

- How are you gonna do that?
- You get him
to track a course...

to one of the hydroelectric
plants and give him a bath,

and wham, we got us
a parboiled space geek.

If that thing is under Glendale already, it
must have picked up a pair of roller skates.

We need a map of
the... Wait a minute.

You're messing up the TV. We
need a map of the power tunnels.

The County Planning Building is
closed on weekends. We gotta break in.

- No, I know where most of
the power plants are.
- Huh?

We sued them once, and I had to
tour most of the plants in the city.

There's a big hydroelectric
plant in Redfield.

Uh... Well, come on. Let's go.

Will one of you
guys turn off this TV?

Because I can't
really get that...

Never mind.

It hit Glendale not more
than 20 minutes ago,

so it's probably about
half an hour away.

We gotta get ahead of it. If we do, we can
drop Ralph down in one of those tunnels.

And maybe you can lure
it up the Redfield cable,

up to the hydroelectric
dam up there. What?

You're charged with its
voltage. Maybe it'll follow you.

- That's what I'm afraid of.
- Ralph, you can do it. You gotta do it.

Bill, you know,
I'm a little scared.

Suit and all, I'm
a little bit scared.

Yeah, kid. Me too. Me too.

Well, this baby
has about had it.

We're gonna have to degauss
the engine or something.

The whole electrical system is about
shot, but I think we can... save it though.

Thanks, Ralph. Seven cars.

I'll think of something.
This way, troops.

Oh. Ralph, give me a
hand here, will ya? Yeah.

Nothing to it.

Stay.

Okay, now, get down
there and get that sucker.

It's awful dark down there.

Uh, Ralph, the hydroelectric
plant is two miles right up the tunnel.

Now, ride him or lure him or
whatever you have to, but get him there,

and I'll see the
reservoir is full of water,

and we'll parboil
his eggs for him.

Listen. If I don't come back...

Oh, Ralph, you're
gonna come back.

Yeah.

Who was that guy? What was he
wearing? That's a specially grounded suit.

This is F.B.I. official
business, sir. I need your horse.

I'll get him back to you as quick
as I can. What are you doing?

What official business?
You can't take my horse!

What am I supposed to do,
walk? Counselor, come on, now.

Wait a minute! Where
you go... There you go.

All right. Here we go. Whoa!
Wait. Where are you going?

Geez, this park
is getting weird.

Bill. Bill?

Lions and tigers
and bears. Oh, my.

Bill, come in. I'm at
the L.A. junction feed.

Bill?

Hey!

There. All right.

F.B.I. Official business.

Oh, F.B.I., huh?
I'm sorry, Jack.

We don't take orders from patty
melts on horseback. Is that right?

You're taking orders from me. I
want all these men out of here.

We're evacuating. This
is a federal emergency!

Now get your men out of here!
Get 'em out now! Everybody out! Out!

Now move it! No, not you.

You're gonna take me to the
sluice gates. Come on, counselor.

What's going on here?
Emergency. I'll tell you on the way.

This is crazy. You come in here and
tell me you're F.B.I. I wouldn't kid you.

It is a federal emergency. I can't
tell you any more. You'd laugh at me.

All right, all right. Just fill that
reservoir as fast as you can.

How long does this take?
Can't you speed it up?

I'm going as fast as I
can. It just takes time.

That's an overload. It's
dangerous to be here.

Sit down there and finish
what you're doing. Don't quit.

You got any flashlights?
We're gonna lose this.

They're back there
under the console.

Rest of the building's clear. You
were supposed to go out with them.

Is the reservoir
filled yet? Close.

Here. Help him. Sit down.
Finish what you're doing.

That's it. The
reservoir is filled.

Mr. Crocker, sit down here.

All right. You're safe
here. Are you okay?

Okay, yeah. You just go
on ahead. Honey, come on.

Ralph, you're all right!

Ralph, are you all right? Uh...

See, I told you we'd find an
answer, figure something out.

Coffee maker, can
opener, radio, toaster.

I can't believe it. Everything
in this place is melted down.

I'm sure glad we didn't have
the strategy meet at my place.

Oh, he's so understanding.

Makes you want to give
him a hug, doesn't it, Ralph?

Hey, Bill, I wonder what we
can get for this stuff per pound.

You know, I... I can't
believe that I am decharged...

or degaussed or "denegative-ionized"
or whatever you call it.

You know, when that, uh,
thing had me in a bear hug,

it must have, uh, taken all
the electricity out of my body.

And the electric
squid gets atomized.

Boy, I love it when you can dope
out a scenario as efficient as this one.

You know, I hate to
be a critic here, Bill,

but, uh, "dope out" seems to be the
perfect choice of words in this case.

Is that some kind of crack?
Uh... "Something will come up.

"That's all right.
We'll work it out.

Don't worry, kid. It's
gonna be just fine."

Oh, yes. And my
very favorite of all...

"You want an answer? The answer
is I don't know." I love that one, Bill.

Well, I didn't know. What do you
want, the truth or something else?

You know, I'm just glad we
made it through the weekend.

I mean, I don't mind
saying this: I was scared.

And now we have Ralph
back, all uncharged.

Well, you know, Pam, you should
have tried me when I was still charged up.

I might have been
a very exciting guy.

Come over here and give me a
kiss. I like you just the way you are.

Okay.

Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, no. Static electricity
from the carpet.

It's called clumsy.

It's called technique. Yeah.