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03x04 - The Resurrection of Carlini

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Greatest American Hero". Aired: March 18, 1981 – February 3, 1983.*
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Ralph Hinkley is a Los Angeles teacher of remedial education high school students who encounters extraterrestrials that give him a suit which endows him with superhuman abilities.

03x04 - The Resurrection of Carlini

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

This is gonna be

just disastrous.

Do you know what happens...

when you're elected
entertainment director

at a school faculty party?

Everybody wants
to be on the bill.

Honey, they're only
trying to do their bit.

There has to be
somebody on staff

with a little talent.

Oh, sure. We can
get, uh, Dollinger

out of music appreciation...

to sing his rendition
of "Oh, Danny Boy"

three tones flat.

Or we can get
Miss Brockmeister's

talking mynah bird.

Did you ever see
that mynah bird?

Yeah, last year at
the Christmas party.

But I don't
remember that it talks.

Well, it doesn't.
That's the point.

It just kinda sits there.
You know the way birds just

kinda hang out, you know,

and they sit there,
and they just... look?

That's cute, hon.

Thank you very much.
I mean, do you want

a bird that sits?

You get Miss
Brockmeister's mynah bird.

You want a bird that talks?

You go elsewhere.

Oh, honey. Sit down.

We'll have a nice,
romantic dinner,

and we'll come
up with something.

We're talking about
tomorrow night, but I could

stand a little bird peck.

Oh. Mmm! Oh!

Ralph... Ralph...
Ralph, where's the TV?

Hello!

Hello! Aw! Why isn't it on?

Well, we could always
have Bill dazzle them

with his amazing track record.

Well, Bill, what
brings you over here?

I thought all the soap
operas were over by this time.

I tried to reach
you all afternoon.

Since when do they start
keeping schoolteachers

after school?

I had a problem at school.
There was a faculty meeting...

Shh! Shh! Shh!

Admittance to the
Mansion of Magic,

which I'm going to show you,

is to be a member
and in costume for their

annual magicians' banquet.

And what makes this year's
performance so special?

It's a tribute to the greatest
magician and escape artist

who ever lived,

the founder of the
Mansion of Magic, Carlini.

I didn't know this was
on. Thanks for telling me.

I wanted to watch this.

- Yeah? Well,

I tried to call you.
- Shh.

Shh.

Death-defying escapes,
and his presence was quite

a familiar sight...

at presidential
and royal functions.

And like the man
who designed it,

the Mansion of Magic has
many deep, dark secrets.

Much of what you think you
see you don't really see at all.

The tragedy that
struck down Carlini...

occurred during
what was to have been

his final American tour.

Why? To this day, nobody
really knows for sure.

But the police and the
F.B.I. believe Carlini himself

to have been involved.

Hey, maybe they'll
mention you, Bill.

I mean, you were there. You
were involved in his death.

I was not involved. I
was an agent on the case.

It was on that fateful night,

one year ago tomorrow,

that F.B.I. agents converged
on the theater where Carlini

was performing.

But before they could
arrest him, Carlini perished

in the flames...

of what he claimed would
be his greatest trick ever,

the crematorium escape.

Did Carlini actually
perish in that fire?

Certainly not in
spirit... Pun intended.

His Mansion of Magic lives on,

and it's run by these three
gentlemen who are here

with me tonight...

All three of them accomplished
magicians in their own right.

Toby Roberts, Chris Stoppard
and Marco the Magnificent.

Toby Roberts...
He is my favorite,

my absolute favorite.

He's incredible. We saw him

in Las Vegas. Do you remember

that? He was incredible.

- Yeah.
- You apprenticed under Carlini.

Any interesting stories?

Sorry. But that's

what made the man who he was...

Mysterious, elusive, an enigma.

Well, as I told you earlier,
there's an annual costume party

here at the mansion.

Toby, what makes this
year's event so special?

Chris, Marco and myself
will be performing three...

of Carlini's greatest escapes.

They were perfected by him,
but they were only performed...

in public once.

Marco, then that means that
one of these escapes must be

the crematorium escape, right?

The one that
Carlini perished in?

So that means he
actually never really

performed that escape, did he?

We don't really know, do we?

No, we don't.

But maybe we'll
find out tomorrow,

the first anniversary
of Carlini's death,

the night on which he vowed
that he'd return from the grave.

I'm Tawny Little at
the Mansion of Magic.

Trick or treat.

That's it. I've got

the whole problem
solved. Playing cards.

You're gonna get
the entire faculty

involved in a poker game?

No, no. I'm going to mesmerize

and mystify with magical
moments of prestidigitation.

- Rubber baby buggy bumpers?
- No, I used to be in love

with magic when I was a kid.

I've got some playing
cards around here that I used

to keep around for practice.

Here, read this. Oh,
Ralph, since you've

gotten so good...

with using the suit
to talk to dead people

and all that stuff,

maybe you'd like to
have some pointers

from the master himself,

Carlini, tonight, at
the reading of his will.

I know I got those cards
around here somewhere.

Carlini's will?

Bill, this letter's addressed
to you and the same

three magicians...

- Tawny Little was
interviewing just now.

- Yeah.

All three of them believe
that Carlini was responsible

for the Luanne Pierce k*lling.

That's why they all called me.

All three of them threw
Carlini off the board of directors

of his Magic Mansion.

The three guys that he
hated worst in the world...

Well, four, counting me, Ralph.

- So he named you in his will?
- Now, that doesn't make

any sense, Bill.

No, it's nuts, just like
everything else about Carlini.

Including his old assistant,
a guy named Blatchard.

Yeah, I remember seeing
pictures of him in the papers

right around Carlini's death.

He was a
weird-looking character.

Wasn't he cute? Looked
like he ate lightbulbs...

and stuck his tongue
in a socket for breakfast.

A real cup of spumoni.

I wouldn't be
surprised if this creep...

has been waiting all
this time to zap me...

and the three wand
wavers we just saw...

because he thinks that
we were responsible

for Carlini's death.

Well, what do you think, kid?

Uh, you want to come
along and listen to the reading

of the will?

It's at midnight.
You love that junk.

The reading of Carlini's
will? That's incredible, Bill.

Of course we'll come, yes.

Oh, you found it. Thank
you very much, Pam.

Here. Uh, pick a card.

Uh, kid, I haven't got time.

Do you really think Blatchard

would try something?

Who knows what a lunatic
has got up his sleeve.

Nothing up my
sleeve. Pick a card.

Uh, I'll fall by here later
and pick you guys up.

Ralph, put on the
magic jammies...

Just for luck, you know?

Pick a card.

So when Carlini died
and they called off

the investigation,

this creep, this Blatchard,

his old assistant?

He kept ranting and raving
and making bad phone calls...

that, uh, Roberts and Stoppard
and old Marco was gonna

have to get it...

for what they
did to Carlini, so...

Come on. We're not picking out

wallpaper, Pam. Pick one.

I don't want to choose wrong.

It's a card trick. You
can't choose wrong.

- Now, show it to Bill.
- What? Uh, king of hearts.

Bill! You're not supposed
to tell me what it is.

You put it back in the
deck, you memorize it,

and then when I pick
it out of the deck again,

I amaze you.

You know what's amazing
to me? What's real amazing?

I'm running a scenario
here, and none of my troops

are listening up.

Okay. Well, if Stoppard,

Marco and Roberts know
that Carlini hates them,

what do they plan on
getting out of tonight?

Just the off chance,
one in a million,

that old Carlini left
them his dusty, trusty,

magic manual,

maybe a new chapter
with some magic escapes...

that he perfected
and never released

to the public.

Can you imagine what that
would be worth to one of these guys

in their repertory?

Yeah, they'll probably
get a world tour out of it.

Now, come on, Pam.

Show it to Bill. Just look.

Stick it back in the deck.

Now, concentrate.

- I'm getting real tired, Ralph.
- Oh, come on, Bill.

Mmm, your card is...

Seven of hearts.

Ralph, that's terrific!

The card I saw was
a six of diamonds.

Are you sure? What do you mean,

"Are you sure"?

I mean, you saw
it. Is that your card

or isn't it?

I think it is.

What do you
mean, you think it is?

I mean, it either
is or it is not!

I'm sorry. Yes, I'm positive...

The six of hearts.

- Seven of hearts.
- It was the six of diamonds.

Well, it was definitely red.

Mr. Maxwell.

I was relieved to see your name

on the list of invites.

Well, I brought along a
couple of associates here.

Uh, Pam Davidson, attorney,
and, uh, Ralph Hinkley,

uh, Toby Roberts.

And this is Marco
the Magnificent

and, uh, Chris Stoppard.

Toby Roberts. Remember
when we saw him

in Las Vegas?

We saw you in Las
Vegas, and you did this

incredible stunt.

Bill, he-he took
off on a motorcycle,

and when he landed he
was on the back of a lion.

- Wow.
- I don't know how you did that.

It was just...

Incredible? It was... Yes!

It was incredible!
You are incredible.

And I never figured out
how you did that illusion

where you changed those...

two camels into two
little Shetland ponies.

Boy, if I had time,
I'd like to work that

into my act tomorrow night.

- Uh, you're a magician?
- But I haven't really performed

since Uncle Buster's birthday.

- Ralph.
- I've got a great

five-card lift, though.

- Ralph.
- The attorney who's supposed

to be reading the will...

hasn't shown up yet. Oh.

Oh, well, Labuff,
Lambert and MacCrae

is a reputable firm.

It's unlikely that they'd be
late for a probate reading.

Uh, maybe, of course,
they had some car trouble.

Maybe.

Let's go, uh, find
a way in, huh?

Oh, we tried the
door. It was locked.

You guys wait for the attorney,
and we'll check the house.

This guy's my very
favorite magician.

Favorite magician, Ralph?

I hate to be the one to tell
you this, but, uh, nobody has

a favorite magician anymore.

They're kinda like,
uh, big-band leaders

and hula hoops.

Uh, maybe you want
to give this the old, uh...

Oh. All right.

Get the apparatus out...

This door is open.

Ralph, you have the
suit on and I don't.

There's no need to play around.

Bill, I'm telling you,
this door was open.

Sure. The door was open.

Ralph, I really hate
it when you do this!

Now, it's strange,
because Marco just said

that this door was locked.

I don't know how three guys
who make a living escaping

from handcuffs...

could mistake a
door for being locked.

Okay, are we going to
stand here all night long,

or are you gonna go inside?

Oh, no. Go ahead.

You first. No, you first.

No, Bill. It's your party.

Go ahead. Wait a minute.

Uh, you got the suit on,
and you want me to go

in there first? Is that it?

I thought you said
the door was locked.

It was.

Are you sure? I'm positive.

Uh, Ralph, I don't, uh, think

anybody's home, actually.

I can't believe that
we're actually standing

in Carlini's home.

I mean, he lived here.

He probably devised some of
his greatest escapes right here

in this house, Bill.

Do you know we
are actually standing

in the home of a legend?

I'll bet he's got
trapdoors in this house

and everything.

Ralph, would you

get up from there?

- I hope you two are having fun.
- Mr. Maxwell,

I'd like to ask how
you got that door open.

Well, we just shoved
it. It's a warped door.

It's very old.

That's hardly likely.

I gave it a good shove.

The door was locked.
Someone had to open it.

Nobody could have
passed without us seeing...

Soup's on.

Someone was just here.

The candles haven't
been lit very long.

Well, he always
did know how to get

an audience's attention.

All right, Marco.
What did you do

to the door?

I didn't do anything. You were

the last one through it.

It's locked.

What happened, Marco?

Boys, boys,

boys, boys.

- Boys. Boys. Come on.
- There's bars on the window.

Well, terrific. The world's

greatest escape artists who
can't open a locked door?

All right gentlemen.
Just step back

a bit, will you?

- Ralph, do something!
- What the hell can he do?

Everybody get down on the floor!

Do what he says!
Cover your eyes!

Cover your eyes!

Okay. One at a time.

Come on. Don't panic.

One at a time. Come on.

Come on, Blatchard.

We're old pals.

Only reason I showed up
at that clambake last night...

was because I thought
you were throwing it.

Imagine my surprise...
You were one of

the guests of honor.

Now, come on. How
come you cut out...

before we toasted
all the marshmallows?

Fire.

I saw fire,

so I ran.

I have this fear of fire.

Yeah. Well, uh, tell
you what, Blatchard.

I got a friend that's
on the phone right now

making a couple of calls.

Gonna find out
whether Carlini left

a will at all.

And I'm beginning to
think maybe he didn't.

I also think...

you would have known
that... You had no reason to be

at that reading at all.

I gave you my letter.

I said what I said. I
have no more to say.

Okay Stevens. Type this up

and get him to sign it.

And get us an address...
Whatever house

he's haunting now.

Because, Blatchard, I got a
feeling you're gonna be talking

a whole lot more real soon.

I don't like it either, gents,
but I'm gonna have to turn

Blatchard loose.

You're gonna let him go?
How can you let that man go?

I was nearly suffocated.

I said I didn't like it.
Let me clarify... I hate it.

But I got nothing
to hold him on.

So your laboratory found
flash powder residue.

Certainly Blatchard would
know how to obtain the proper

material to rig that room.

Okay Stoppard.
What do you think?

You were apprentice to Carlini
when Blatchard was around.

Did he know enough,
does he know enough, to rig

the room to blow that way?

Of course he does.
He was assistant to

the world's greatest magician,

and he also received a
letter from the attorneys

like the rest of us did.

A letter, maybe. But
not from the attorneys

on the letterhead.

They didn't contact any of
you, since Carlini never left a will.

Well, imagine
everybody's surprise.

One of the junior partners
up there is gonna see

what he can find out...

about Carlini's estate
and let me know.

Well, if it was a setup, I
will bet my magic wand

Blatchard's behind it.

Uh-huh, what do we have
here? You call me a criminal.

You want to talk
about criminals?

You're the criminals.
He doesn't forget.

No.

He doesn't forget.

Carlini!

You stole the secrets.

Double curse.

Well, gentlemen, I
believe I'll be going.

Yeah.

You two have a
good show tonight.

Mr. Hinkley, I don't
know how you got

the bars off that window...

Well, they were loose
already. And, uh, well,

you know what adrenaline can
do under those circumstances.

Uh, yeah. Gentlemen,

I'll see you out as well.

Say, why don't you and
your associates be my guests

tonight at the mansion?

It's the Magicians' Ball,

and you'll get to see
the three of us perform...

three of Carlini's
greatest escapes.

Thank you very much.

Just, uh, call my
assistant, Dawn.

She'll set it up. Ciao.

Ralph, what about
the faculty party?

You promised Ray.

Oh, no problem.
Uh, I'll just, uh,

go by the faculty party.

I'll wow 'em with my card
tricks, sneak out the back door

and head 'em off at the mansion.

Uh, boys and girls, let's
hit the Yellow Brick Road.

Bill, we are invited to
the Mansion of Magic

tonight.

Yeah, Ralph. So I heard.

My mouth is getting
real dry over it too.

But, uh, right now I'm a little

more concerned...

about my walking creep show,

Mr. Blatchard.

Well, well. Ain't that cozy...

for a couple of guys who
were calling each other names

five minutes ago?

Well, Bill, they
know each other.

Stoppard apprenticed
under Carlini since

he was 17 years old.

I mean, he and Blatchard
practically grew up together.

Well, that's growing
up in the Twilight Zone.

Come on.

I take it we're
following Blatchard?

Well, we got a prime
suspect here who hates

all the principals,

and he knew how to light the
fire, make some threats right

out of The Late, Late Show,

and shakes his finger
at you while he drools.

Yeah, I would say
that we would be

following him, yeah.

Uh, you were standing
on my ace of spades.

Ralph, will you cut
it out with the cards?

You're gonna have 'em coming
out of your ear in a minute.

Cards out of my
ears? That's easy.

Want to see a neat
trick? Watch this.

Oh, boy.

Now, do you

remember your card?

Yes, I got it written
down this time.

Okay. Your card is...

Mmm...

One of those down there.

That's a real
showstopper, Ralph.

Can't wait till you do
the "three raw eggs

in my glove compartment" trick.

You didn't say "abracadabra."

Well, actually, my specialty

is palming coins.

That's him. That's Blatchard.

Duck!

That's it. Let's go!

Where are we going?

Down here.

In this alley. Try to get a line

on what's going on inside.

What is this place, Bill?

Ah, it's an old church.
Looks like it's been

abandoned for a long time.

What is he doing?

Look out!

Okay, Blatchard.
That's as*ault on

a federal officer, you creep!

Come on, Ralph. Go drain this

guy's radiator.

Ralph.

Just add it to my collection.

Let's go. Okay.

Bill! Gaah!

Oh, don't do that, counselor!

Pam? Bill?

Wha... What happened?

Oh, it's just Leo
Gorcey and Huntz Hall

in Hold That Ghost.

What-What is this place?

It's a storage
room of some kind.

Come here. I-I turned

the lights on in
this other room.

I want you to see something.

Come here.

- Oh, Lord. It's a shrine.

Monument to Carlini.

All these illusions
and the secrets...

that Carlini built into them
must have made them

priceless by this time.

All this apparatus was designed

by Carlini himself.

Obviously, that's
why Blatchard was

so obsessed with the man.

Obsessed enough to
want to do in anybody

that had ruined his life?

Or k*ll them?

A distinct possibility, Captain.

We've got a real dangerous

maniac running around out there.

Wonder what made
this guy go so berserk?

Ralph, I think we all know
we're dealing with the Creature

from the Ice Planet Zero here.

Maybe you can get a line
on this bird off the dribbles

on his pillow.

Do we want

a line on this guy?

Oh, grab those. Any
one of them could be

the vibe we need.

I'm not gettin' anything.

Well, keep trying,
hon. We need a clue.

Something.

Really, Bill, you don't have to

clean up now.

You can wait till
after we leave.

What happened? Accident.

Really? This looks
like Blatchard's crowbar.

You make me sick!

Little boys don't
play with dolls.

Do you hear me?

Don't you ever,
ever let me see you

with your sister's toys again.

Do you hear me?

Ever told you... ever caught
you playing with your sister's toys.

Why?

- Why do you do it?

You make me sick!

I'll keep the doll.
Give me that doll.

Give it to me!

I'll just keep this till
we find her again.

Don't you ever lie to me again.

Do you hear me? Never again!

Don't ever let me see you
with your sister's toys again.

Do you hear me?

Pam? Bill?

Ralph, what is it? What?

It was terrible.
It was... horrible.

It was controlling me.
I could not look away!

All right. Take it easy.

Take it easy! It was
incredibly wicked.

It was cold.

I-I tuned in to this
fractured personality.

- Why don't we make
this joint a memory?

- Good idea.

- Th... Then there was Roberts.
- Toby Roberts?

- Where does he live, Bill?
- Why?

- Where does he live? Fast!

Well he lives in Bel Air.
Uh, Vista View Drive,

118675. Why?

I don't know why. I just know

the guy's in terrible
trouble. Here.

I'll see you there.

Okay.

Whoa!

Hi. Boy, Toby sure
can think of 'em, huh?

"Man Falls From Nowhere."

Course, we can only use it in
an open-air stadium, you know.

Yeah, sure.

Oh! Oh!

Pool could... stand a
check on the pH balance.

I think it's a little
off. Uh, listen.

Is the workshop around
here somewhere?

I seem to have
lost my directions.

Workshop... Yeah,
uh, it's around the back.

Okay. Thank you very much.

That's Blatchard's car, Bill.

He's here. Yeah.

- Toby!
- He must have passed out.

Oh, Lord! Toby!

He seems to be
breathing all right.

Did you see a guy in a red suit?

Around the back.

Ralph, what happened? Ralph?

I don't know what happened.

We were just rehearsing,
and someone came up

and hit me from behind,

and I blacked out.

I'll call an ambulance.

Operator, uh, can I have
Vinwood Emergency Hospital,

please?

Bill, this is the same doll.

Same as what? What
are you talking about?

Ralph, you okay?
What's the matter?

- Mama!
- I just don't want to touch it

anymore, Bill. All right?

Whoever's thoughts I
was holographing off of

is a sick, sick person.

Agreed. Blatchard needs about

50 years of Rorschach tests
with the best doctors in the world.

Uh, but if you just vibe
off his car, maybe we can

find him and arrange it.

Will you tell me,
how am I supposed to

holograph off, uh, uh,

somebody who's checked
out and left their baggage,

if you know what I mean?

Well, we don't have
any choice, Ralph.

He's already arranged for
Toby Roberts' intensive care,

and if we don't find him quick,
he's gonna do the same thing

to Marco and Stoppard, now.

Well, he couldn't have
gotten very far without his car.

Yeah, well.

- Is he dead?
- Mama!

Which means
there's still a k*ller

running around out there.

Who?

Mama!

Come on, Bill. The show
was supposed to start at 7:30.

It's already a quarter of.

You hate me!

Counselor, how could
you put me in this thing?

I look like the prize doodad
out of a cr*cker Jack box.

You know what's gonna
happen to me down at the bureau

if they find out?

Bill, everyone is
gonna be in costume.

Look at this dead
duck I got here.

No matter how many
times he's been through this,

and I'm sure it's a lot,

he's still embarrassed about it.

See that? You look great,

my hearty.

You know, I just cannot believe

that Toby Roberts...

would allow Ralph
to take his place

in the show tonight.

Well, after what
he's been through,

I guess he would do anything...

to keep from going through

the rest of his life...

not knowing who's
trying to k*ll him.

Well, who is out to k*ll him?

You had me convinced
it was Blatchard.

What was Blatchard doing
at Roberts' estate then?

Same thing he was doing
at the reading of the will...

Trying to find out
who was the real k*ller.

To think there's someone
out there that can actually

overpower Blatchard.

Well, there is.

Watch and be amazed!

Okay. Keep your
eyes open around here.

Ralph, I don't know...
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for his next feat of magic,

Marco will perform the
miracle of the straps.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I draw your attention
to this unique and very

effective restraint?

Where's Bill? He's out there

trying to see...

if he can spot something
from the audience.

Right after this, Marco does his

crematorium escape.

The one where
Carlini got k*lled.

And then me.

Both sets will be
locked into place.

And, as my two assistants
continue to restrain me,

I urge you to watch
them carefully...

to be convinced that
there is no escape

from this device.

Watch!

♪ Oh, I come to Louisiana
for to see my Susianna ♪

♪ Singing "polly wolly
doodle" all the day ♪

♪♪

♪ Fare thee well my fairy fay ♪♪

♪♪

Honey, I know you
think this is the only way,

but I'm scared.

The k*ller's out there
trying to get Roberts

and Marco and Stoppard.

We are dealing with a guy here

that is so obsessed,

he wants no one
performing Carlini's escapes.

No one.

Oh, I'm so

terribly sorry.

Uh, I-I was just
admiring your bird.

Uh-huh.

Had him long?
Uh, well, we kind of

got thrown together.

Uh, he had the costume,
and I had the tickets.

Ah. Nice birdie.

Beautiful bird.

Aw, thanks.

Good evening.

Alakazam to you.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Marco the Magnificent...

is prepared for
his final feat...

One of Carlini's most
impossible escapes,

the crematorium.

Ralph, this is frightening.

I mean, look at this thing.
It takes months to practice

an escape like this.

Honey, the more you
know about these illusions,

the easier they become.

The mechanics of performing
something like this...

are really relatively simple.

The trick is just being able to
stay submerged long enough

to get the job done.

In case of an emergency,
I've got the suit on.

Ralph, we don't know
that the suit allows you

to breathe underwater.

You should have
tried it in the bathtub.

Come on!

Now, I performed this twice
today with Dawn, and she says

that I am flawless.

Uh, Toby Roberts'
assistant, Dawn?

The one with the legs
that don't quit, Dawn?

That it rests on eight
gas-jet burners...

that when ignited are capable
of incinerating this coffin

and anyone in it...

in less than three minutes.

Help! Help!

You let me go!

I've got to get
out of this place.

Okay, Stoppard.

We're running out of suspects
who have enough skill to rig

tricks to go wrong this way.

My Lord, you don't know.
You still don't know, do you?

It's him! Don't you see that?

It's Carlini.

Better send for the
wagon for this guy, Bill.

You don't understand, do you?
And you're not listening to me.

He's here. Now.
Carlini's very much alive.

- What do you mean, he's alive?
- That's silly.

I saw him burn to
death. Nobody could have

survived that fire.

The coroner found human
ashes. Just one of Carlini's

great touches.

He didn't die that night. In
all the confusion, it wasn't

so surprising that he escaped.

Ask Blatchard.

Blatchard ain't talkin'.
He's trying to hack the lock

off the pearly gates.

He k*lled Blatchard?

Blatchard's got
him out that night.

He's taken care of
him all these years.

Carlini was badly
burned in that fire.

He was practically an
invalid for five months.

How do you know all
this? Blatchard told me.

The two of them lived together
in that old, decrepit church

downtown.

Well, then, that room
we were in wasn't a shrine

to a dead man at all.

And the holographs I was getting

were from Carlini himself.

Carlini actually
lived in that room.

That means he's still
out there right now.

He's still out there.

Yeah. And ready to k*ll

anyone who attempts
the escapes he's invented.

Well, he doesn't have
to worry about me,

because I'm not going on.

And I hope you don't plan to,

Mr. Hinkley.

Well, if we lose track of
him now, we may never

be able to find him again.

We have to go along with
our plans to draw him out.

Ralph, you can't!

We don't have any choice.

Stoppard, put your
makeup back on.

As one of the
board of directors,

you're gonna go out
and tell the audience

the show is going to go on.

Mr. Hinkley, you're
as crazy as Carlini.

Maybe.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have a new

addition to our magic family.

Performing Carlini's
greatest escape of all time,

the infamous water
t*rture chamber,

I give you the Amazing Hinkley!

If we may have some volunteers
from the audience, please.

If you will check the
chamber, you'll notice there are

no false sides...

or bottom.

While our volunteers
from the audience

are examining the tank,

please take note of
the welded framework,

the reinforced corners,

and the way in
which the panels are

riveted in place.

Everything okay, sir?

Once I am submerged,

my assistants
will move rapidly...

in order to chain
and secure the tank.

Needless to say, I
hope they move quickly.

Once I am locked in and
the chains are all secured,

a curtain will be drawn
over the top of the tank.

And in exactly two
minutes, it will be removed.

And now, the Amazing
Hinkley will perform Carlini's

water t*rture escape.

Will you start the clock?

You okay in there?

One minute, five seconds.

One minute, 10 seconds.

One minute, 20 seconds.

Little boys

don't play with dolls.

Father told you what would
happen if he caught you playing

with your sister's toys.

- You make me sick!
- Don't ever let me catch you

lying to me again!

Don't ever let me see you
with your sister's toys again!

Do you hear me? Do you hear me?

- You make me sick!
- Why did you do it?

- Where's your sister?
- Never play with dolls.

Never. Never play with dolls.

One minute, 50 seconds.

And two minutes!

The Amazing Hinkley!

Ralph, it's him!

It's Carlini!

Ralph, don't do that to me!

Are you all right?

The suit let me hold my breath

longer than normal.

Where's Bill? He's out back,

chasing Carlini.

All right.

I told him to give it back.

"Don't play with
other people's toys.

"Play with your own...

"your own...

Your own."

Wow!

- Ralph, have you got the
suit under there or what?

- No.

That's terrific, Ralph.

Oh, will you quit fooling
around and get your gear?

Let's go fishing.

Well I got the
mechanics down. I just...

There's a few little
tricks with my hands

that I need to work on.

- But Dawn's
helping me out, so...

- Dawn?

You didn't tell me you saw Dawn.

Oh, yeah, when I went
down to the hospital to see

Toby Roberts, she was there,

and she was showing
me some things

I could do with my fingers,

but I need to work
with her some more.

Oh, I'll bet.

Hinkley Residence.
Oh, yeah. Hi, Ray.

I was gonna call, but
this emergency came up.

A close friend wound
up in the hospital,

and I had to go
visit him, and, uh...

Toby Roberts. Yeah.
Yeah, the magician. Yeah.

Oh, boy. I'm sorry. I
did not... I'm really sorry.

I-I-I feel responsible.

All right. Yeah.

I'll talk to you. Bye.

Ralph, will you quit
moping around about, uh,

missing the teachers' bash, uh,

and get your rod and your reel,

and let's get out of here.

Come on. You got
nothing to be ashamed of.

You were out in
heavy, hot duty here.

It was Federal
Bureau duty. Come on.

No, no. It's-It's not that.

Miss Brockmeister...

brought her mynah
bird to the party,

and, uh, it must
have caught a cold

on the way over.

It finally did talk,
but right in the middle

of the performance, it...

It didn't.

It did?

Oh, that's terrible.

"Bwoke" its "wittle" beak.