01x02 - Raindrops Keep Falling on My Bed

[bunniefuu]

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well I think that's everybody these are

my thank-you notes it's important to

thank people for nice things they do my

dad taught me that even though he didn't

know it

he always grumbled and complained about

everything everything was a big

production even going to the grocery

store and the way he drove that cart

just like his car watch it move out of

the way hey try to cut me off he drive

people right into the frozen food

section one other thing I did at the

grocery store is he bought groceries

well they weren't for us and I couldn't

figure out what it was all about then on

the way home he would drop these extra

groceries off at a neighbor's house you

know the guy who was out of work that's

what he do they taught me about being

nice and about being giving and that's a

pretty cool thing my dad was really cool

in a lot of ways although I never told

him that it's hard to tell you that hey

dad you're cool hmm try it my work

winters seemed to last forever in Cedar

Knoll Wisconsin and the longer they went

on the shorter everyone's tempers became

my the time spring finally arrived cabin

fever had long since mutated into cabin

warfare and it was time for the annual

neighborhood whew what a cruel world

anything could set off a neighborhood

few a newspaper delivered to the wrong

house a broken lawn sprinkler or even

the arrival of new next-door neighbors

so the Jensens moved in next door on a

Thursday and the following Sunday all

our neighbors armed with tuna delight

cucumber salad bread pudding paraded

into our backyard potluck suppers were

my mom's passion in life every single

neighborhood event warranted as a

lifetime window monitor mom had the

inside scoop on all the neighbors

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they're real poor impoverished destitute

well they don't have to bring anything

you just tell him to come oh look the

Barker's their grandmother lives with

them she's 102 head her birthday

I shared my own neighborhood secrets

with Scott Jensen all right this is the

best treat for climbing if you want to

spine the Henderson meanwhile in the

backyard dad shared a little of his own

warm and cuddly hot Wow handsome your

look for paths in the woods actually

pathology is the study of post-mortem

corpses in a crude sort of way you are

correct

good you watch these for a minute sure

hey you didn't come right from work no

well there's three bowls on the table

more in the oven and the rest are in the

garage

the name is a wacko Andy be nice

everybody has a hobby

oh you think you'd like some sweet

potato so I understand you're a

vegetarian was that he's dead bodies now

so you catch Bible last night - nah I

don't like him what well I just don't

think he's funny and just like that

another neighborhood feud was born well

if you really want to know I prefer

Milton that's why it's unbelievable my

next-door neighbor like smell everyone

well at least he's using jokes from this

century

not all good jokes American jobs don't

prance around in our dressing hey Dan

can we get some burners how do you like

your Scott burger charge yeah why don't

we all have something to eat Snickers

just digging for bones mr. Allison

and my ad actually I didn't want to

bring this up but that section of the

yard right there are you talking about

who mows the lawn who ranked salon who

manicures this dog I do

who asked you I saw the property man

when I bought the house it clearly shows

that my property extends all the way to

that tree maybe we should call it a day

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those mortar blasts must have the rain

refused to let out it just got stronger

and stronger and so did the feud hey Lou

no concern with the enemy but done look

at that and Jensen Derek it's moving his

house closet and keep my eye on here

Mike oh yeah dad I'm sure he gets off in

the middle of the night sneaks outside

digs up that foundation puts into that

house six inches closer by Christmas

will be a duplex you may be right

where you going dad

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there was nothing worse than going to

school on a rainy day of course dad

didn't seem to mind the rain he was too

busy recreating the Great Wall of China

in our backyard I'm securing the

perimeter make our lands safe we're

god-fearing Americans and keep that

pathologist

a little dog too and they'll be back in

Kansas where they know that they mess

with me one more time that's great dad

real community spirit hey heard that I

was hoping you could give me a ride to

school maybe you didn't notice but it's

raining no what do you mean this

humidity this isn't rain I was in the

South Seas for monsoon I slept other

kings in Hawaii I'm vacationing in Linus

during the wet season I bet this is

being collected like the plague the

neighborhood feud spread all the way for

the elementary school what's so funny

dad really put up a ten-foot brick wall

around his yard to keep a little dog out

don't think you were all laughing about

oh we weren't really laughing for that

it's more chuck like this you know my

dad wasn't out to build down woof your

dumb dog didn't keep digging up our lawn

my dad says that it's our profit then

your dad's dumb is your dog my dog

smarter than your hoping my family

smarter than your dog that's telling him

Louie best shot school has been canceled

for the rest of the day you disappeared

please

I have to defend the family honor some

other day rain had caused the river dole

the floor the whole town was flooded a

state of emergency was declared and we

couldn't have been happier no school for

a week it was like Christmas vacation in

the middle of spring

our little town became one big lake the

streets were flooded the supermarket was

funny

everything was under water except for

one little piece of property you get me

home with the TV again no I'm trying to

watch the longest day some flood flood

what are you talking about there's no

fussing I'll bring on the Duke come

upstairs why should I

I got something to show you Wow keep the

dog out of the yard no I know exactly

when I was done when I built that wall

Graeme core engineer taught me all Maori

directive water the same principle I use

when I redirected the Alabama River what

River you probably know

hey Dan that's probably the National

Guard right now I bet they want you to

teach the troops how to build anti-flood

walls from lucky lady cosmetics my wife

goes are the natural worker nice luggage

though what is that oh let go sonic we

all sin our neighbors they got flooded

out of their house and I invited them to

come and stay with us

what do I look like Noah alright let's

go watch your step do my do all their

neighbor in Johnson's oh come right in

everybody's welcome

ah we didn't bring any of that lime

green yellow

ah thank you

for the next hour a steady stream of

dripping wet neighbors showed up at our

front door every family on the block was

flooded out and mom invited every last

one of them rent for the wrong ambi

charity begins at home let it begin at

someone else's home then let it in here

it's strange you know who's not here no

one

everybody's here the whole neighborhood

is here dad Jensen I'm wondering if

someone shouldn't go check on him come

on Andy no way buddy

give me ten fingers I'm giving you ten

fingers

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we're guys ridiculous they wouldn't know

a natural disaster if we married one

anyone more stubborn then yeah sure

had enough Sun baby there's nothing

worse than a whip neighbor inside to

surrender Louie why don't you get Scott

some dry clothes sorry about earlier

today you know in the cafeteria I don't

remember me either

friends friends

how are we gonna do that there's a flag

up there Louis and you got a boat are

you kidding

I got a whole fleet

oh yeah it's in a press an affair

that's right I know every mother I used

to sing that lullaby

here you go surely you dry yourself off

here's a towel that's a nice warm robe

hey what's your big idea

sure done supplies once again if the

Johnsons can't change their rabbit

turtle four o'clock coming around again

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long enough shower Anderson you save

some hot water for the rest of us would

you like some dessert

I'll be glad with back to door Oh what's

the matter dear kids me and find a place

to sleep is more like it

someone's sleeping in my bed someone's

in my bathroom I'm surprised no one's

eating my part I've got just the place

for you to sleep honey

the pantry what am i carrot chili con

carne not in front I can't see Mary it

come here speakers hey yeah boy

and just when we thought the crisis was

behind us Trump's another one began

where's your dad dad wake up

what are you doing how many times have I

told you you don't sneak up on a guy

sleeping on an ironing board your Walden

it's leaking you know what to do don't

you dad all right campers rise and shine

pack your stuff hit the road

this arts gone down take a bite of Noah

in 15 minutes you're gonna be floating

and like Anderson and then an amazing

thing happened instead of moving to

higher ground

let's go women and children quirt hey

what are you doing everyone decide hey

Anderson

have you got a shovel take this over to

the world they all went outside into the

pounding ran and tried to fix that wall

all right we're losing it it's not

working dad we need something stronger

something like concrete like some man

like give me a sweet potatoes baby

hungry here yeah you did too much starch

it works everybody

the answer is sweet patootie hear me

sweet potatoes remain sweet potato what

Chloe God distribute

oh just a few right thing of course most

of them are in the base

it was a long night but it was all worth

it

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we thought that quite a thing or two

about messing with your mother sweet

potatoes in my engineering genius oh

that's great can I go back to sleep now

no time for that Lois here's what I want

you to do mama get some sponges ton of

paper towels and meet me outside what

are we doing down it's payback time it

was really nice of you to put us up

Emily was our pleasure

maybe we'll have tornadoes this summer

and you can come and stay again thank

your husband for us well let's go dear

I'm sure we've got a big mess at home by

now what's going on welcome to the

neighborhood thank you no mention it

Maddie the neighbor hey man thanks a lot

no problem seeing school mom wait we're

coming with you

funny thing about natural disasters they

can destroy a neighborhood but they can

also bring it back together at the same

time anybody care for a sweep of course

there'll always be those fundamental

conflicts that even though honey gets

the money don't you know entertain us

when we were down and out it don't

forget stuff like that and I had mud I

had mud on my face as camouflage and he

made me laugh so hard it cracked off

that's how good he was

not to me what do you mean not to you

Bob spells funny

it just doesn't appeal to me what what

do you know you pathologist you're

always saying no sense I've got a sense

of humor you're k*lling me comedy is

timing and he's got

when I die you're not around pokin and

proddin on me I don't want anyone

literally make a note that if I died I

don't want that Jensen pathologist sent

over to somebody make sure they were a

veteran understand

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