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01x09 - Tracks of My Deers

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Life with Louie". Aired: September 2, 1995 – March 2, 1998.*
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Based on the childhood of Anderson, growing up with his family in the fictional town of Cedar Knoll, Wisconsin during the early 1960s, although Anderson himself was actually from Saint Paul, Minnesota, also situated in the Midwestern U.S.

01x09 - Tracks of My Deers

Post by bunniefuu »

season catch a deer you got to be cool

yeah I remember my first time hunting

with my dad yeah the best part of the

trip was to lunch my mom packed we got

to eat it on the way hmm

I don't know why anyone wouldn't hurt a

deer anyways they don't seem like too

dangerous of animal me hurry there's a

pack of wild deer chasing us they've got

those wolves they look what's the bear

sad thing about deer so they get caught

in your headlights I always wonder what

is it dear thinking hmm that a car is

this my lucky day and that's two

motorcycles coming at me anyway this is

what you used to catch a deer a donor

much more effective and you don't catch

him well is always nice

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we had five distinct seasons of

Wisconsin spring summer winter fall and

ears of the five seasons hunting season

was the family Louie where's your father

Oh hunting ever since hunting season

began he's never around

now here include your father all right

forgot what he looks like is either thin

guy with wire-rimmed glasses

no that's beavers father mr. klieber

tall guy bushy eyebrows always give me a

buddy advice that's Fred MacMurray he's

the father on my three sons

[Music]

you call him no dear that's so much

settle for a little toy dear stop your

Cabbage Patch gear oh hi dear

how about a cold Hey well I want you to

take a good look at this picture your

son drew yeah it's real nice what is it

Matt the bus the other one Louise

he drew a family portrait yeah so he did

it's no Picasso did you notice something

missing

Wow talent no you you're not in the

picture that began by my own offspring a

boy needs to spend time with his father

I think you should take Louie hunting

with you what he can't bring it huntin

so the next morning I had a new alarm

clock and this one had no snooze whatta

kids get to do to make your calls

tradition tradition it's a new tradition

all right now let's hear some gear

[Music]

come here Louie learn something that

trick the hunting is you got to get

inside the deers hat

know your enemy lowing they hate you you

have to hate them right back

oh yeah dad there are vicious bunch

those deer

I saw Bambi what a bunch of bloodthirsty

monsters typical deer propaganda

do I have to remind you about the

Feldman hunting party way to the deer

balance

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right over to you

there's your

limpet they were a horse

don't tell me about Bambi

okay guy you're cool with it big eyes

and soft fur they're cold-blooded

K*llers is what they are you understand

yeah the creatures of the night

uh-huh man-eaters of the forest whatever

you saying I know my beer track and I

know it freaks out right over there are

you sure this time I could smell you

hungry you guys like pancakes

Oh

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Jennsen sign up there refresher course

on hunting 101

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my little hunter great mom papa no gear

up there let the big conspiracies

waiting government takes all the beer

followed me oh I don't think so but it's

still hunting season can't we just hide

him for a little while

[Music]

hey what are you doing back so soon

[Music]

guess you'll be leaving no we got here

[Music]

nice try there sport

[Music]

yeah that's it

it's a Grunwald dog spot yes just to

watch him for the day cuz his lerczak

uncle's visiting so can you stay here

for the day well just keep him away from

my wrong k*ll them out there this has to

be our secret alright of course when

you're 8 years old

holding your breath for a week would be

easier to keep you at dearest we got a

gear

[Music]

coming

you running a petting zoo luján so what

what are you talking about

thistle you're harboring a deer my kid

just called me he heard it from Louie

that's no gear tell me that this spot

have antlers

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spot I don't think so that's your basic

North American whitetail good on dad

what gave it away Wow first of all he

doesn't even have a spot Andy do you did

you take another wrench to the head at

work I don't care if there's an elite

squad of South American rebels in the

living room never a loaded g*n in the

house never all right I get the point

sure we can keep mom right above the

sofa on a plaque looks pretty good up

there don't you think yeah oh look at

him he's awful sweet that's why we need

to keep him here it's just for three

days you know till the end of hunting

season what you want me to live with the

enemy but Dad you probably got lost from

this family what would you do if you got

lost from your family I'd dance the

Rumba remember you said you had to get

to know the enemy well if you live with

the deer for three days you'll know

everything about them you'll be the best

hunter in town kids always got a point

[Music]

sacrifices I make for my brew that was a

nice thing you did you know the

reputation I'm gonna get people find out

I'm harboring a fugitive venison yeah

toss me right out of the Elks Club

oh I'm sure people won't care sure they

don't even find out for the next couple

of days dad refused to acknowledge the

dinner hoping that if he didn't think

about the deal it might just go away the

deer however other plans

forget it I'm not falling for that Bambi

stuff those big eyes don't work on me

now I don't like you pal and you don't

like me so why don't we just leave it

like that

it's like Stalin and Churchill I gotta

be firm with these four lady credit oh

yeah watch this this is liver wash you

don't put mustard on liverwurst

[Music]

away from the deer and descendants it's

an antenna for crying out loud by

mistake

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now dear did you say something

[Music]

like he started right here at the window

are you sure he went this way over into

the kitchen crumb cake if I know deer

tracks yeah hey dad let me try a theory

out here

call me nutty nutty but I think he

started at the refrigerator then went to

the living room window Andy I think we

may be right that's your breakfast it's

still deer season dad haw responds out

there somewhere with all those hunters

cold-blooded hunters its nature Lily

survival of the fittest man against

Beast you can't interfere with evolution

wouldn't be fair fair what's so fair

about a hundred guys with high-powered

r*fles going after an unarmed deer well

I'll tell you it's not like this on the

one hand you get on and on the other

hand so ultimately in conclusion you got

that

[Music]

where are you off to

dear just taking my boy on a little

nature walk that okay with you Jenson

wears a very little friend you mean my

houseguest he's in the kitchen making a

sandwich take a lot step aside yeah

you're getting in the way of all that

nature you ever gonna do to keep still

that long I'm take a coup son he knows

we're watching he's playing mind games

[Music]

we've been gone well the good news is I

finally figured out the trick to this

ear to the ground maneuvers well what's

the bad news

[Music]

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next time leave a note or something he's

trapped well is there any other way out

[Music]

this guy's a friend of the family what

about the Belden hunting party huh 6 min

6 4 2 3 4 5 6 6 minutes now I'm not

moving

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thanks dad

he saved his life get this I just want a

first shot at old spotnik see he is can

your species take a joke

[Music]

you free don't suppose you remember

which way we came after that day dad and

I both retired our orange hunting class

breath it's all over Lily I'll never be

able to bag a dare again why is that dad

cuz you realize dear really our friends

and we shouldn't sh**t him no cuz let me

look that creature for three days he

learned all my secret learned my stand

tell all of its near buddies and they'll

tell their dear buddies and I'll be able

to smell me coming from miles away what

do you think dad who's this pasta being

hmm

eyebrows I look like Fred MacMurray

Louie

now when you're drawn the determination

in his eyes you ever see Patton in

McCarthy what you want to do is you

wanna draw from that a lot of character

how about Church

last year for now