02x02 - Summer of My Discontent

[bunniefuu]

oh let me tell you about my family

time again

let's take a look and see what you have

[Music]

[Music]

summer vacation for most kids that meant

freedom from the tyranny of the school

year for me it just meant more tyranny

know what time it is 3:30 but it was

nuggie time at lunch today hornet

daylight savings newly time here it's

summer

mr. forgot to turn my clock back

fortunately there was one escape route

from newbie time and I knew where to

find I was going to summer camp for

weeks of unadulterated Glen Glen free

bliss

will you help me pack what for I'm going

to camp what's the big idea

you can't send Tommy to camp Oh Louie we

think you to camp when you were Tommy's

age yeah but I went to camp to get away

from Tommy I went to overnight camp when

I was three months old we're back every

summer to that time I was six they made

me a counselor we want Tommy to have the

same camp experience that you had wall

g*ng just came here all summer put them

in a different room and call it camp

Louie does discussions over either both

of you go to camp or neither one of you

goes now what's it going to be no just

one in the same camp doesn't mean I'm

gonna be your babysitter all right when

we get to camp chuckle me you don't know

me and I don't know you suddenly there

was the bus that was gonna take me to

the known

by now you can't care I'll send you lots

of cookies take nice it here sure I

guess

victory at last know what time it is

[Music]

Ruby's going one for your noggin fingers

getting tired another hundred miles and

we'll change places so I can noogie you

with my left hand

Thanks mmm no problem I'm here to help

[Music]

movie

traveling light Glenn one I got other

people bringing my clothes like who like

you I took all your underwear out of

your trunk when you weren't looking

I'll give it back when I'm done hey

Tommy seven that's a good one

why would you care cabin three Oh No the

Pink Palace again cabin six hey meet you

hey maybe me too well almost if you

subtract seven we just voted for cabin

leader yeah Lubin that's my bed

wrong again that's my bed well where do

I sleep

[Music]

I want to go home I miss my mommy

homesick buddy and you bet you miss your

family huh

well tell me this do you miss your mom

standing over you making you eat your

Brussels sprouts though and you do you

miss your big brother using you as a

tackling dummy no what about you my good

man

do you wish you were at home mowing the

lawn doing the dishes

of course you don't look around you my

friends you're not at home anymore great

camp that's right that's camp chop to me

can I help you just a minute please

attention campers would Louie Anderson

please report to the office there is a

phone call from Louie Anderson your

mother is on the phone

[Music]

I think you broke the world record for

wooziness we're not even here an hour

and your mother's gone Oh Louise stop

exaggerating I'm sure they're not going

to make you sleep on a deck chair just a

minute here no I don't think you have

bursitis you know you try to have fun

Louise okay bye-bye

uh-huh we got to talk about this

long-distance bill it's outrageous small

countries don't have the phone bill we

have we got a car

hello oh yes operator I'll accept

charges Julie hi dear listen I can't

talk right now

can I call you back okay who is that

Julie our daughter Julie Julie who lives

in Oregon Julie area called 503 Julie ah

yeah now if we're done I should call her

back send her a homing pigeon well fine

of course she was calling for a recipe

well she's still learning how to cook

but I suppose if her marriage breaks up

she could always move back here won't

that be nice

tell her I said yo I thought you were

the switchboard operator

hey I'm multi-skilled what's the problem

small shaving cream I think it gave me

an ulcer you better send me home nice

try now get out of here

of course you'll remember how to swim

all right kids today we practice our

dives any questions yeah one of you

misjudge the depth of the water and we

end up hitting our heads on the bottom

of the lake oh come on now that's just

negative thinking Lonnie Louie go on

Lonnie everyone out

you too Lonnie oh I'd like to stand if

that's all right with you I'm having too

much fun exploring

there you go Lonnie that's the right

attitude Camp Jeff and me hello mrs.

Anderson one how did I know lucky guess

hold on I'll see if I can find him

please report to the office your mother

is on the phone

feeling proud feeling naked don't look

at it as naked look at it as

unencumbered by the restraints of the

real world okay what's on your mind

champ I want to go home

I hate kale we don't use that word here

nobody hates at Camp Chucky we can just

like things and if we really feel

strongly we heartily disliked but we

don't I heartily disliked camp I

heartily disliked Abbi my swimming

trunks strung up on a tree and I

heartily disliked you know you got it

[Music]

oh yes Olivia the boys are having a

great time I'm just making up some of my

oatmeal raisins to send off to him what

now

a frog licked my head think he gave me a

flesh-eating virus better send me home

nice try

get out of here bows up pull back oh boy

an arrow took my arm off well I

reattached it but infection could set in

I think you better send me home to see a

specialist how are you today mrs.

Anderson well why don't you ask him

yourself he's right outside

[Music]

I only had one more weekend to go but I

knew I wouldn't last another minute it

was time for me to make a break for it

time to run time to catch the midnight

Express out of Camp Chucky you're just

in time for the nature walk

unfortunately The Midnight Express

derailed moments after departure we're

using the buddy system today Lonnie

buddy experience I'm not gonna be you

each body what we have here is a great

opportunity for you two to work on your

cooperation skills so you're tying us

together like animals that's negative

thinking I'm uniting you with a bond of

trust

[Music]

how are those cooperation skills coming

boys peachy we got a system he drags me

and I get dragged what are you talking

about I think you and all the work I've

been dragging for the last mile is it my

fault you can't keep your balance hey

where is everyone

[Music]

it's still quiet out there how's that

person supposed to get any rest without

Lily hung me on the doorknob

Tommy buried my favorite socks oh you

missed a voice now maybe I miss hearing

their voices wrong and maybe I miss you

in their faces here and there man

there's nothing a tape-recorded or a

photograph convey huh more cookies for

the boys yep

Caillou sending the u.s. mail well I was

thinking about it but you know you can't

always trust the mail service you got

that right I just wish I could have

someone I trust deliver these cookies

Andy maybe fine fine twist my arm

I'll do it geez I don't have to browbeat

me like that oh nice going new Lou you

got a sloth

what are you talking about you were

leading the way this way

all right we'll flip for it

heads we go your way tails we go my way

okay but I don't have a coin who said

anything about it I'm gonna flip you oh

let's just going your way oh don't you

worry there little fella

we were using the buddy system see the

beauty of the buddy system is this buddy

number one gets lost buddy number two

brings him home

buddy number two takes a wrong turn hey

who's that over there it's buddy number

one see it's flawless know what time it

is

I know I know no no really

what time is oh I don't know about 4:30

or 5:00 it's gonna be dark soon

that's gar the dark are you and just for

your information I'm not scary

you're it's the lack of light that

bothers me

Louie are we going I hear something I

think it's the camp

sounds like a river no it's camp I know

it I'm telling you it sounds like

hello its aura Anderson don't say

anything

I'm sorry Louie he's um he's he's on a

field trip

um can I can I take a message for you

what that's all right I'll wait he could

be you know awhile oh I don't mind

I'll hold can you describe him son

strong hair wise eyes and a face that

seen everything the world has to offer

that's him don't worry about it son

he's probably just playing in the woods

somewhere having the time of his life

Oh y'all know River down here what are

you doing here

just wanted to make sure these cookies

arrived safely

Louie's missing he got lost in the woods

[Music]

hey Glenn Glenn

got something in your eye put something

in here okay that's fair all right

people

did you just been on the run for six

hours average foot speed for the kid as

well he's a slob I swear I could crawl

fast in this kid runs but anyway I want

a hard-target search of every farmhouse

henhouse una Casa donuts a 12-mile

radius your fugitives name is Lily

antigen yeah the Glenn boy is missing

too

now let's go fine

Glenn Glenn what do you want loogie

nothing I just thought you might be

hungry you cheer your cookies with me

well not this box yeah thanks it's funny

I came to camp to get away from Clinton

and here we were tied together lost in

the wilderness on the brink of

starvation it was the most fun I had all

summer

hey don't you tell me what I just said

Thanks or else I know I know or else

you'll have to pawn me are you kidding

me another word it means to be

completely clueless about where you are

the camp is this way they can hear it

see that ain't exactly where I am I'm a

walking dog now he's a rolling globe

up an item Glenn Glenn I can't find my

note well that takes care of my

nightmares for the next year what

whirring already let's go find your nook

not scared not for a second

sandy bears only the one I was tied to I

[Music]

swear officer I don't know where you're

getting this I did not tie any kids

together I think you better come down to

the station what you're arresting me

we still have crabs that's negative

thinking counselor Rudi yeah don't look

at it being arrested look at it as an

opportunity to explore the police

station up close and for a really long

time I've given them the best summers of

mine white do you hear me good

[Applause]

the last week of camp was great I swam

I played kickball I learned how to sh**t

a bow and arrow and best of all I didn't

get a single look marina or deal in the

woods I guess go and go and learn to

respect me as a fellow human being know

what time it is

3 I guess we all have our roles in life

and I couldn't expect I'm going to stop

playing kids after all he was so good at

from the phone company

all I ever get from the phone companies

a bell yep this is it

oh yeah honey hi your father what do you

have any file that is gonna say hello

no no emergency