02x03 - Anderson Ski Weekend

[bunniefuu]

all right let me tell you about my

family

again

let's take a look and see what have fun

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you could say Grunwald met the day

before we were born and we've been best

friends ever since our families grew up

together

we shared everything good

but like all friendships ours would be

tested by something unexpected something

known as don't work what about sending

your kid to work while you stay home and

take a nap game you know you realize

they're announcing a promotion today

nothing like a little humiliating

rejection to teach the offspring about

the real world

I hope they announce my name so I can

turn them down that's right

hey Dad do they have lunch at work you

kidding it's the best part of the day

it's the only reason I go oh right the

widget XR 200 the finest widget in the

Western world without this puppy in the

world my chest got revolt Dan how do you

know when it's quitting time well when

your feet feel like them but stapled to

the floor your back feels like this

Bunny's been ripped down your head then

it's quitting time now it just means you

have another half hour to go wonder what

they're doing in math class attention

floor workers we're pleased to announce

mr. gruenewald has been promoted to

lower middle management congratulate the

newest manager in charge of widget

tightening quality control girl involved

can't wait to see the look on their

faces when you turn them down

come on son

we're going upstairs to turn them down

get on their chair see you Louie Oh Andy

I think girl's promotion is good news oh

yeah I'm telling you this changes

everything we can't be friends of the

groom walls anymore he speaks a

different language now he's a suit

what are you slacks let me show you

something

it's very simple we're yam a side dish

hey ya feelin absolutely nothing well he

used to be a year but now the forces

behind all control

he's a main course yam on the inside

pork chop announcer there's a w*r going

on for his soul side dish worships named

horse

anyone want to guess who win yam just

falls right off

pork chops wins every time thanks dad

really clears things up so a couple of

weeks went by and we hadn't seen much of

the grown woman's but I was afraid maybe

his father was a pork chop but Mike and

I we would be a mess forever hey guys

long time no see Oh a nice sniffer dog

of justice lunch Bow Wow where'd you get

it

one of dads new co-workers knows Knight

sniffers next-door neighbor oh come on

hey Anderson now what can I say my dad

started buying the good stuff and the

bathrooms have this thing that squirts

liquid soap right into your hands yeah

not good enough for you anymore

coffee he can afford finer lunch meats

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Saturday you in or what thanks but I

can't we're going skiing this weekend so

what my dad takes a skiing every winter

really oh yeah Aspen the Rockies Mount

Rushmore skied down Lincoln's nose once

Wow how come you never said anything

about this before I like to brag you

know how it is when people find out we

teach me the slalom can I see you drop

this you have trophies this is great

Louie you should come skiing with us

this weekend what the truth is I'm not

such a good skier but if an expert like

you showed me a few things

I'm gonna call my dad maybe your whole

family can come

well wasn't it nice of the groom wants

to invite us to go skiing I don't buy it

he's toying with us here's the little

people wants to see us squirm Oh Randy

no one wants to see you squirm believe

me I've seen it and it's not attractive

I can't wait to learn how to skate

you're the Grunwald snow we're beginners

absolutely not I mean why should thing

will we we've never been skiing before

I'm sure the Grunwald's will be happy to

show us some of their fancy lower middle

management news

mom I don't feel so good

maybe we shouldn't go it's just your

conscience dear what I said it's the

altitude you're conscious of the

altitude you know keeps talking about

something called a double spread eagle

corkscrew like I'm supposed to know all

those fancy upper-class beverages it's

funny mrs. Grunwald keeps asking me

about Aspen and Vail I tell her aspirins

for headaches and veils for funerals

it's all my fault

I told on the wall that we were a family

of expert skiers and go skiing every

winter because he had an expired jug of

milk in the night sniffer lunchbox

yeah expert skiers what I loved is he'd

grown wild face when hear that Louie how

many times have I told you that lying is

wrong

isn't that right Andy why I am the

airline's a terrible thing as soon as we

get there you're telling the Grunwald's

the truth right mom let's not be hasty

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now remember Louie as soon as we see the

Grunwald's you tell them the truth

that's right the truth and nothing but

the truth

of course nothing wrong with a little

embellishment here and there there is

that's the kid I was telling you about

boy doesn't look like much of a hot

dogger to me hey Anderson about time you

got here didn't know you had an

itinerary girl I was just telling

everyone how you skied on all seven

continents tell me the gorgeous skiing

you didn't Arctic how does it compare to

Everest

I didn't whoa was it through they named

one of the Italian Alps after you you

can't name the whole mountain range

after me everywhere that Andes now aura

you must tell us all about the latest

European speed fashions or buck

Louise been skiing all over the world

isn't that what you said oh yeah we'll

see how he does in the Junior Masters

Cup oh please tell me that's some kind

of athletic supporter no it's a big ski

competition I signed you up so you can

show these amateurs how it's done oh no

you don't understand I've never really

lived in Europe that's exactly how I

feel whenever I'm there

those stretch pants are fabu you must

tell me where you got them it's just a

simple polyester blend oh it's what you

do with it or I love it when an underdog

fabric makes a comeback

want you bounce cute a giant Yeti and

the slopes of Kilimanjaro skiing the

Rockies is as easy as taking a nap for

weeks we've been wanting to go on a

backcountry ski trip quit right what do

you say Anderson care to lead the way

you kiddin I'm your man

just call me grizzly Anderson

next contestant for the experts class

mogul run Iceman Anderson Hey you wanted

a middle name hey gulag

looks like your friends turning a less

experienced skier might be worried right

about now but not you

right Iceman

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[Applause]

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country reminds me of the time I crawled

across the Siberian tundra and my hands

and knees lost four fingers of frostbite

of course they grew bad had nothing to

eat for a month of its no snow and snow

special occasions we got sloshed

Anderson then three weeks then we

discovered the snow and slush are the

same thing please step off the lift

jazz practicing emergency evacuation

procedures be prepared that's my motto

I thought that was a boy Scout's motto I

wrote it for him okay let's get moving

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pick up the pace meatball should we be

concerned about avalanches wants to be

concerned about just know how bad can

still really aura are you all right whoa

that was a doozy

oh just a tiny hole I'll run over to the

lodge and patch it up in a jiffy don't

go too far I'll be right back

intermediate class hey Kate you know I

seem to have lost and found to the right

bathrooms to the left

thank you very much this might work

hello me again listen I found a glove

and well it's not mine but could I just

borrow it lady that gloves been there

for three years you can have it

Oh aren't you sweet bye-bye now

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make I want to sing it that have a

yellow line

anyone up for a round of Terry adoring

I'll start

all right on the floor I use the

cuspidor II that's what it's boring join

in fellas

what's the matter Jack Frost nipping at

your lungs

come on daylight's wasting what does

that sign up ahead say it says be quiet

avalanche area did you read um I just

remembered I have to call my stockbroker

before the end of the business Jimmy oh

me too i've got lunch reservations at

the summer lodge you know Anderson I'm

beginning to suspect you don't know what

you're doing you can just kiss those

negative thoughts goodbye girl I'm in

total control here

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got it mentally when you first told me

you were good skier I thought you were

making it up well while we're on the

subject of stuff I made up the expert

class downhill run ice bad you can do

this Louie you are the Iceman no I'm not

I can't do it

the truth is I've never been skiing

before I got maybe have to blow it off

but I can hey where did everyone go

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Anderson you're a fountain of fashion

tips the rip says out of my way but the

glove says give me a hands

Anderson original I must have it and

have it now can a glam star lady then

where did Tommy scamper off to remember

lean forward keep those knees bent yes

this is real funny

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all right with ace the first two events

this last one should be no problem why

is it the zip hot chocolate in the lodge

of that it's almost that easy

it's the dead man's folly ski-jump oh

look there it is now that's I quit

Iceman

what's wrong I can't ski all right I've

never been skiing before in my life I

don't ski what are you trying to tell me

here no you were bragging about your new

lunchbox and your dad's job and stuff so

I made up all the junk about scheme you

made it up if it wasn't for your stupid

lore middle-management chocolate milk

I'd be playing kickball right now with

my real friends fine

go ahead I don't need you I've got new

friends now

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[Applause]

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oh yeah will you be cold to me ever

since I got the promotion

you mean the promotion you've been

rubbing in my nose every day maybe if

you knew your widgets you would have

been promoted you just better than any

man alive since I was 12 years old I

stuck with a widget clutched in my vest

I legally changed my middle name to

widget yeah Andie widget Anderson hey wh

why'd you do that what's the name

nutcase re taking on kids I'm here I

don't know

I'm the lower-middle manager in charge

of widget lightning the timecode

trackers step aside

what's the holdup I don't recognize this

widget it must be a new model your

softer and wall giving off the floor too

long

kids release the pressure from the

fourth casein let go the rotator I can't

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yeah Andy I'm sorry me too

you're the best friend a nutcase like me

ever had thanks widget

sorry gone for everything no I'm sorry I

was trying to impress those dumb kids

friends friends come on let's get out of

here maybe they'll let us take the chair

down no I'm gonna do it oh really you

don't have to I know

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

I can honestly say that our first ski

trip was a great success

not because I won the gold medal here

you go kid you just serve it yeah but

because the friendship between the

Grunwald's and the Andersons had been

put to the test and had grown even

stronger

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Anderson Grunwald what are you doing

down here company cutbacks lower middle

managers in charge of widget quality

control were the first ones cut well

well well look who's here come to do

some slumming Grunwald's the best widget

tight now in the state public sconce and

first guy you mean about the Florentine

management obviously has no idea what

they're missing

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[Applause]

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hmm overrated

so kickball this weekend sorry can't do

it what is it this time goon well ever

since my dad changed back to his old job

he's had all this free time on his hands

he's taking us rafting this weekend

really you guys go on the best trips

what's the big deal we go rafting all

the time whitewater rafting whitewater

blue water ma we've done all the cause

of the rainbow

why don't you come with us this weekend

although call my dad right now and let

him know you're coming see you on the

rapids Louie okay your helmet dad

my family goes over Niagara Falls every

summer this is the last time I tell you

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