03x02 - The Making of a President

[bunniefuu]

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let me tell you about my family

again

let's take a look and see what you have

fun

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they said politics makes strange

bedfellows now I'm not sure what they

mean by bedfellows but I do know that

each year when it came time to elect a

new class president people sure did act

strange even to me if I were Robin Hood

I take the doughnuts from the people

make them and give them out to the

people who love them

like me nice job Louie I had no idea

they had doughnuts back then Thank You

Fred

stirring book report wow she's

everywhere now don't forget anyone

wishing to run for class president must

sign up by the end of the day let's see

school ends at 3:30 2:00 p.m. that means

I have precisely 12,000 496 seconds to

make up my mind you can't be serious no

member the Chess Club has ever run for

public office before it just can't be

done let's look at this analytically I

can analyze in three words

you're a Melvin no offense of course my

point exactly

who better to determine what this school

needs and how to accomplish it I say

it's time one of us steps out from

behind his glasses and hey wait

everybody go carry your books sure Thank

You mr. president

for president because of that he's

carrying her books well not technically

no I'm doing and you're gonna help me I

mean you can't pain manager and you're

perfect why you're mean of the masses

you understand the little people gee

thanks and beside it would spoil my

perfect record of non involvement in

school related activities I'm sorry you

feel that way Louie you leave me no

choice but to publicly display

yeah that's not fair I was showing Tommy

how to wear those thanks buddy I knew

you'd come around guess what I've

decided to run for president great I'm a

shoo-in what's he talking about meet the

competition you're running against

toddler uh-huh and this is my campaign

me come on Jeannie let's get outta here

this is gonna be great

are you kidding this is why never get

involved in school activities

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something sure just don't bother me I'm

busy

where's my lucky bowling calc what's so

lucky about it you've been using it for

years and never win never mind that

check behind that chair dad what's a

campaign manager do that's an

interesting question

what campaign for class president

I'm the campaign manager manager come on

this thing might be in the mess hall

it's not in here

why would my lucky talent be in the

breadbox check the fridge and get me a

cold one wearing their shoes dad I was

persuaded carry on you'll be taking part

in the most out of all American

traditions public humiliation I'm

talking about democracy their right to

vote that little thing that separates us

from commies who alone it's the reason

why heroes

man here but Noir listen you're drafted

beside the point I think what your

father's trying to say is people fought

in the w*r to make sure that everyone

has freedom freedom to vote freedom to

believe freedom to say that everything

anyone seen my doubt

okay I understand what the voters do but

I'm the campaign manager what am I

supposed to do if it was me I'd make

some scenes for my candidate that's a

good idea

well what should they say Wow what you

candidates name for the other guy do you

know what's good for you I know what

about I like Mike thanks mom that's

great

you can't write that that belongs to

General Dwight the Eisenhower I know

dear but let that kid go to w*r first if

he wants to steal like slogans hey dad

is this what you were looking for yes I

you're all out hey the playoffs start

tonight I can't ball without my lucky

talc can't Bowl with it either here you

go Andy honey it's a boy not a bake-off

I'll have you know things are gonna be

different this year we've got sick

that's probably him Nick hey kid how you

doing

what are their new s my boolean what do

you say come on let's go let's go let's

go

cheesy Anderson your sinus tastes like

my sister

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[Applause]

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gutter ball Greenwald has done it again

sorry Andy

ingrown thumbnail listen grandma it's

time for a change

you're leaving more pin standing out

there than I have offspring you know

just a little nervous that's all me next

time it's not gonna be a next time

I'm bringing in the big g*n well Kenya

we're in a w*r here and it's my job to

make sure we win it look buddy this is

how it's gonna be

you just made your arrest no but my

wrist is fine and Jack here is taking

their place where he come from you want

to win the trophy don't you yeah thank

you granny

we've got a casualty over here man down

in Lane 4 look like you're in pain

I repeat man down in lane 4 okay Jackie

era weird you in the ball you've got

some technique

[Applause]

Jax the name and I'm back jack is back

looks like a serious sprain guess you're

gonna have to sit on Mexico

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hello competitor listen Mel I know I'm

not your campaign manager but if you

don't mind me saying no one's gonna use

that as I watched my classmates fill a

Melbourne suggestion box it occurred to

me maybe it was time for my candidate

and I to take a cold hard look at Cedar

Knoll mentary school in ER told you we

need bigger ones think I'd known about

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20 minutes

they call that recess the guy barely has

a chance to prank a sweat don't tell me

you were just about to stand up weren't

you look all I'm saying is we could use

a longer recess excellent idea Louie I

told you you'd be good at this

[Applause]

disgusting what we need around here is

separate shower stall a little privacy

would be nice we have dignity so what if

were eight years old

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lima bean another good one Louie yeah no

more lima beans that's it no more lima

bean

no more lima beans stand down no louder

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excuse me mr. president

this election is ours my friend maybe

you should start working on my victory

speech oh yeah right on how to improve

Cedar Knoll Elementary School in 12 easy

steps 12 steps we only have four well

they guaranteed to make our school a

better place or I will personally do

your math homework for one whole week

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don't worry this is just Hollywood

flop you're not about that stuff

you're about bigger thing like lima

beans and wall lima beans you know for

the right price I can't well if you want

your way great

no thanks we're not interested my

favorite chocolate cake it's the mr.

gruenewald he hurt his wrist bowling you

know well he won't be able to eat cake

with an injured wrist better give it to

me

too bad about Earl you know how much he

loves that game poor dear I have you

know that poor dear was sending my team

into the gutter with every one of his

gutter ba*ls Oh Andy huh I explained to

him that he might need some time on your

bench come on dad Andy our roads been on

your team for 10 years you don't

understand this is about winning and

bowling winning is that important are

you kidding it's everything no one

remembers the losers you lose every year

we never forget that the point is if you

want to win at play you've got to play

to win well all I'm saying is if you're

not careful you're going to wind up with

a trophy on your mantle and no friends

on your couch

does that work with the inlaws to step

right up

get a big smooch from the next president

kid who hates lima beans as much as he

loves all of you Michael Grunwald

I'll go free Michael if you kiss my

turtle in person the one the only lima

beans are not the issue making real

improvements to our school is the issue

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three nights different comic books so

where are the comics

Popeye stop by my house later we'll let

you have a look at them get your

camera's I'm gonna be on Sunday morning

TV yes Jack is a monster geez Jetson

next time you want to put some power

into it

you got no follow-through

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is realest yes I did it again any boys

you gotta pay attention you might learn

a thing or two

listen pal I'll have you know that last

year stoic grunwald gears about last

year I'm here now come on Anderson I'm

ready to shove off you want to drive me

home or what just leave it and then

Jensen missed that spare I mean come on

I was on him all night I told them he

was Vulcanus all right all I'm saying is

we need some discipline and it wouldn't

hurt to sprain a few more wrist if you

know what I mean hey I can think of

something else I like this room

each candidate will get 30 seconds for

rebuttal

shake hands and come out debating mr.

gruenewald will hear from you first

guys I've got one thing to say friends

don't let friends eat lima beans

I'm afraid this election is about more

than vegetables I say it's about recess

[Applause]

some students fellow opponents fellow

Melvin I'm sure we could all use better

food in a longer recess but let's be

serious for a minute what we really need

is desperate don't wobble books without

dog-eared pages and encyclopedia that's

not missing the letters A through E go

back your wing

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the lover teachers

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good shot dad

Lily you made me miss I should have went

with the endive mom says she needs to

catch up for dinner dad no that's the

for pan taking of the string beans

that's nothing but trouble if I don't

come up with something quick we're gonna

lose you know Lana steady the 3-pin now

Louie dad you're not listening

we're way behind in the polls toddlers

gonna be President of course here's your

back the wrong guy we're getting trolled

now's the time to look like a loser -

yeah gee you're putting a guy in a spot

of course not because we Anderson's our

winners sure we may lose all the time

but deep down we're winners

we'll do whatever it takes to win go to

any lengths make any sacrifice come on

Larry

grab the canned asparagus

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listen zone it's time we stop fooling

around and won this thing with 20 points

behind in the polls we are okay Glenn

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what do you want I spread one bona fide

rumor about toddler you give me your

dessert for a month a month okay too

much eat my lima beans okay okay how

would you like toddler skip recess but

he wants recess

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[Applause]

sauerkraut for a month okay you're on

duty

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your attention please

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hey he catch the special on that duct

tape therefore rolls for a buck great I

could use something to support this weak

wrists of mine

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it looks like even captain has buckled

under the pressure one more loss and the

cheese heads are out of it

say unison looks like you sprained your

wrist my wrist this way let me show you

how the gladiators do may the best man

win

the envelope cheese and the winner is

Melvin fish beats

watching Melvin take his place as

president I realize that indeed the best

man that the rest of us were busy

dragging each other through the mud

Melman had remained a man of ideas and

principles evidently everyone voted for

Melvin even me sorry about the perfect

attendance thing Jeanne we know toddler

had the chickenpox we had no idea so

many people would actually kick you

don't worry about it

I spent the day in the nurse's office

and I got out of all my classes and

toddler Mike and I feel really bad about

telling people you still suck your thumb

Thanks we know you stopped that weeks

ago Thank You months but cheese heads

need a strike here to stay in the

competition

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never better I'm one strike away from a

perfect game press here yeah it looks to

me like your head is swelling up hey are

you nuts

for ten points away from the

championship that's mean exile Anderson

now sit

Wow grab a b*mb sorry I should have done

that years ago thanks Andy

you're a great friend a great neighbor a

great pals for the cheeseheads

great callers well the new

administration took some getting used to

it turned out Melvin was prone lime up

he on the other hand the new

encyclopedia was sure gonna come in

handy when I did my report on the

history of donuts another cheese head in

bacon

[Applause]

what did you say that was calm

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