03x12 - Do It or Donut

[bunniefuu]

let me tell you about my family

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sometimes you never know what gifts in

life you can get sometimes you just find

out by accident niceness the great a*s

yeah he's so cool yeah it makes you

wonder why every police force in the

country doesn't use dogs as detectives I

don't even bother to read other comics

anymore

I mean what's the point night sniffer

can do anything sniffs the greatest

Sherlock Holmes has Watson

it's nice different Superman raced next

it will win toddler Superman can fly

think about it all right the hoop is

bigger than the ball so what's the big

deal it's like popping a doughnut in

your mouth I'll take judging maybe I

should just stand off to the side so I

don't accidentally get chosen too soon

and throw off the rotation of the earth

okay goon yeah like there's a lot of

suspense here

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Anderson I gotta get my eyeball through

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take a lap coach no you got quite a shot

there guess I'm just a natural I could

use a natural on my intramural squad yep

for it

no basketball isn't my game what but you

just said you were a natural I naturally

resist organized sports you gotta join

yeah sure

don't you have to practice every day

after school till 5 o'clock yeah stay in

school an extra two hours running

panting and sweating or go home early

eat donuts fall asleep in front of the

TV let me sleep on it you gotta sign up

before this lucky streak ends they were

all so sincere come on you join the team

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family scrimmage over here

Jeanie I'm sorry oh well I'm allergic to

fluorescent lights sensitive skin are

you kidding no like that whoever said

you guys up with them

sorry Jeanie you and Grunwald switch

places

I'm exhausted coach can I hit the

showers stat over there

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okey-dokey mr. Anderson take deep breath

please probably fine probably mr.

Anderson you are as we say in the

medical profession well let's just say

you have to get on an exercise program

what are you talking about I did enough

exercise in the army to last a lifetime

that isn't how it works I

single-handedly push Pat and his Jeep

over a hill to lead the attack on the

enemy well you say you're fighting the

Battle of the Bulge again I'm afraid

you're spending too much time in the

mist and yourself mrs. Cookson ie you

let her know that you must start eating

healthier how good what thinking as the

optimist than I am this could mean no

more 99 dollars you'd have to be a

dumbbell to buy this shop

he was just telling me that he's joined

the intramural basketball team at school

isn't that great I told him we'd come to

all the game it's no big deal

you know once my battalion played

against some prisoners of w*r

then he guess who scored the most points

for old Uncle Sam's team wouldn't have

been you would it dad

same here to me to coach oh we got one

coach Rockwell Rockwell what is he now

well he's the coach Andy okay then hey

how about an assistant strategist don't

you remember what happened when you're

trying to coach my baseball team you

guys don't have to come to the games

we're not very good I never get off the

bench and the uniforms are ugly magic

was passed on to you probably a little

diluted

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my son is not the basketball team and

we're here to pick up his uniform

oh okay small medium large oh here we go

double husky so uh what number you want

his 13 taken it's a banker's dozen Oh

Lucky thirteen yeah you know this might

come as a shock but for some reason no

one's picked that number cool let's see

the shirt I already have an undershirt

pal I was hoping for something more I

don't know a baggy t-shirt or something

I think you're going to look great in

your uniform Louie well take it I need

to running you want a paper ride beer

you're not gonna buy a camera for the

game are you what are we doing here

there's a sacrilege as missus Tillman

has been bragging about this place I

thought this ought to do the trick

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what are you doing here just creating my

masterpiece

hey da Vinci go and work up too much of

an appetite there what are you talking

about I've decided we use a family need

to start eating healthier since when is

eating grass and weeds considered how

thing if you eat it all up I have a

delicious dessert forest don't tell me

dried peaches marinated in soy milk

topped off with tofu sprinkles there's a

son of way to go Tico

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okay shirts and skins this side shirts I

don't think so we're gonna have to

squint you do up Louie oh why can't he

go beyond the skin boiled Brussels

sprouts carrots and a side of raw

cauliflower were you complaining about

this is all your fault inherited your

physique and you're mad about this is

the way nature intended

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taking your god-given yeah inner Tremont

develop doughnuts are we gonna eat that

it's frozen solid don't eat it it'll

k*ll you you left it three reps of it

all right give it a go won't get it what

is this thing I call it the it'll have

you in shape in no time

you've got your weightlifting you've got

your crackers this hair will work your

biceps and price

I figured since we won't play open the

refrigerator door I think I better start

with something lighter yogurt with

prunes hi mom and dad solution for

helping me get in shape was very simple

discipline but I had none there was no

way I was going to wear that Jersey in

public so there was only one thing left

to do work very hard at are you alright

oh no coach maybe on a bench me what are

you talking about you got the best

sh**ting percentage on the team let's go

here you go Louie come on shake it off

that's not your style sh**t like you

used to sh**t as if you don't have an

athletic bone in your body

I'll do my best coach I think he's lost

his touch except that he never had a

touch that first game is Friday

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what's the matter with you my lucky

shirt what excited about the g*y movie

that would sum it up all right

you're gonna expose your Audi what are

you talking about

your belly button you know that

grapefruit that sits on your stomach

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it's just too easy he'll get over it by

sacrificing themselves at my expense my

friends taught me a lot that day and I

agreed to stay on the team

excuse me sir I was just wandering by

and I couldn't help noticing this

beautiful machine past where God I've

had since boot camp

adonis-like figure yes I can see you're

in excellent shape you got that right

I don't suppose you'd be willing to part

with it no I'm afraid not

I poured my heart and soul into this

baby it's like my best friend hey I'll

give you $25 that's too bad I was

looking forward to working out after

dinner dad any guess about tonight's

entree steak smothered with sauteed

mushroom mom looks good here you go

Louie and joy I thought I'd watch what

I'm eating I've got a game coming up oh

yes good thinking on second thought that

does look pretty good

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heimo is that your folks yeah

are yours here oh no they can make it

here catch get a load of this

I'll take chubby here hey back off pal

break it up let's play ball

don't let them bother you

let's have some fun

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double-team number 13

number thirteen

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yeah

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great game I didn't really do very much

only scored eight points

Tico here scored 20 but I couldn't have

done it without your alley-oops

it's not always about who scores the

most points don't forget about the

coaching it can be my congratulation you

were terrific

glad you could make it and you said you

really helped out

yeah thanks ah huh yeah I think you're

screaming throughout the other team's

game plan did you learn something from

this experience

you mean that everyone is different but

that's what makes us unique and

individualized then that we should

accept who we are and be proud of

ourselves how about we take you out for

a donut

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a great reward for a job well done it

was through that experience that I had

learned a couple of things a man can't

live on donuts alone and that steamed

vegetables can be very tasty and a

healthy alternative

you're probably wondering how he

achieved this adonis-like physique well

let me introduce you to what a goofball

no one's gonna buy that thing is this

1168 Sunset Drive now that's the

Jensen's next door oh sorry sir

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