03x07 - Mr. Louie's Wild Ride

[bunniefuu]

all

right let me tell you about my family

[Music]

[Music]

for years teachers have been trying to

convince me that the United States look

like the maps they showed us in class

they couldn't fool me though I knew

better I knew that cedar null was the

center of the universe after all I'd

been born there I'd always lived there

and as far as I knew the rest of the

world rotated around Cedar

null my family's going to sniffer land

for summer vacation this year boy am I

jealous I hear it's the last on par ooh

thrilling and they got this new ride

there the growling K9 coaster that

sounds so fun doesn't it Lou I guess so

got to go see you what about you Louie

where's Colonel Anderson taking your

family this year I'll tell you where

he's taking us he's he he's taking us to

sniffer land that's right this summer

that's where we're going sniffer land

that's where so baby Lucy L's going to

sniffer land this year huh so you mad

enough to go on the gring Kine coaster

you bet I am I've got my own growling

canine coaster right

[Music]

here slow down in 10 seconds sorry we we

don't have tickets see you yeah see Lou

since there's no line I'll let you go

again for free you're all hard a

laort we go Dad

please

please couldn't we talk about this later

like after you two finish college hello

dear Aura I can't get them off me get me

my crowbar want to go to SN land dad

where's that Fresno

California what are you nuts that's in

California it's on the other side of the

world for summer vacation are you

forgetting something Lou we're going to

the Civil w*r reenactment camp for the

summer

again General Grant I got another Rebel

we do that every year I want to go to

sniffer land me too tell you what boys

I'll make you a deal this year here you

can both fight for the North and I'll

fight for the south of course don't

expect the same outcome get Le I got

another

Y what do you say kid oh Dad come on

come on dad Andy maybe a change would be

good what are you talking about change

is never good and it's usually more

expensive it'd be good for the boys to

see California and I could use the trip

to add to my salt and pepper sh

collection oh yeah just what we need

we'll be the Envy of all of our

neighbors when the Great Salt and Pepper

famine hits with scansen show your

father the coupon Lou if we go to SN

land before July 4th this coupon gives

our whole family 50% off admission I'm

sorry Le but the answer is definitely no

absolutely not no way uh-uh I don't

think

so bring so much stuff you think we're

moving what do you hey pal any chance of

helping a veteran out did you bring the

camera of course dear cuz I want to

capture every moment at sniffer

L hey you two shutter bugs Ready

California is not going to come to us I

can't wait to ride in an airplane me too

we've never been on a plane I here they

give you free peanuts don't forget to

dust the salt and pepper shakers twice a

week byebye now I won't forget okay have

fun everybody

yes they're

gone record I've got the snacks I'll

call the

Bo and we're taking a train but I wanted

to fly in an airplane the train is

better than an airplane we'll get to see

much more of the country this way not to

mention it's half the ca besides we're

traveling in the plush

car that boys the plush car

oh look there's the Mississippi River

whoopy man that is the biggest river

I've ever seen don't you want to take a

picture of the Mississippi River

Louie I hope I was using the proper

shutter speed comfy

boys yeah I spared no expense when it

comes to my family only the best excuse

me Stuart where are the plush beds the

plush car is our cheapest Fair sir it

doesn't come with beds oh we don't need

beds Lou these seats will be just fine

see you practically melt right into

them hey watch it hey enemy coming here

hey watch it to the left to the

right

uncomfortable hey Dad the train stopped

there's something wrong with the engine

and there's something wrong with

my medic medic they don't know when

they're going to be able to fix the

train Dad we're running out of time

pause on Parade stops in three days and

and that's when our coupon expires I

can't move my head and you're worried

about a coupon and we don't get there in

three days it'll cost you double get our

bags we're getting off this

train are you sure this is such a good

idea Andy of course it is we'll walk to

the next town it's probably only a

couple of miles

away I feel sorry for those fools who

stayed on that train who knows how many

days they'll be stuck on that old

thing right on Dad

Hey Dad how long did you say the average

human could survive without water I'll

have you

know

incom strangers trouble of course not

we're just getting a little

exercise hang on

[Music]

everyone the Bas the base got everything

under

control you

California well I'll take you as far as

I can hey something wrong with your neck

what gave it away the awkward position

on my head or the look of excruciating

pain in my

eye what's that down there up there's

the very first Shopping Center in the

state it's called a mall what's that

it's a baked building with all kinds of

different shops in it do they sell salt

and pepper shakers there are you kidding

me they store in there that's all they

sell you think maybe we could make a

little detour the man's not Landing the

plane just so you can buy a few trinkets

honey don't be

silly I'll be back in a jippy how much

salt can one family eat man we're

running out of time we've got to get to

sniffer land aren't these Priceless yeah

Priceless I wish they were weight less

did you remember to get my muscle

ointment honey

I'm sorry dear I just didn't have the

timei again

literally why don't you take a picture

of the mall I smell a p sir a all what a

dumb idea take my word kids that'll

never work hey Mr M can you get this

thing to move any faster stop holding

this baby back give her some juice

there's too much white don't you know

anything about flying I serve my country

5,000 ft up in the air I earn my wings

making this world safe for democracy

that's what I know about flying I don't

like to

brag but mathur once said if it wasn't

for my aeronautical

expertise the w*r would have gone on an

extra year or two mind if I give it a go

sure if you think you can get it to go

any faster than be

[Music]

oh how about a

stall that's a lot

better I'll show you a little trick I

learned from a couple of fly boys over

the Skies of East

Africa what do you think of that

kid that's great dad if you could smell

you belonging in Asylum you know that

what's the matter Mel afraid of a little

competition L how' you like to learn how

to forage for food L look like a muskrat

I think I see a bus station see any

donut chops I'll sneak down there and

see if they friends or F good idea dad

who knows what evil lurks in the heart

of Colorado you got that right follow me

and stay low to the ground we

try I'm so excited a genuine Rocky

Mountain salt and pepper s you can't

find anything like that in Wisconsin mom

must have something to do with the Rocky

Mountains not being in Wisconsin

backpack is getting heavy I know Lou

you're so strong could this bus go any

slower Lou we're going to miss PW on

Parade I'll see what I can do now you be

polite de any way we can pick up the

pace here miss I'm going as fast as I

can sir this is my first time driving on

Mountain Roads well there's your problem

dear I'm your man you are you bet there

Dar who do you think led the 15th armor

division over the Swift sves you You're

darn right it was me why don't you let

me relieve you there soldier it'll help

you to watch a Prof off do it

h well okay

you sure you're okay to drive with your

neck like that be kidding it helps me

see around the

corners

over what's with the commotion look out

no problemo I've got everything under

control rock fine

[Applause]

come here

quick

[Applause]

Dad good job kid I feel

used must want to give me the key to the

city for saving

everyone reckless driving since wi is

saving a bus load of Americans

considered re driv it's a mad world

dad well the next bus doesn't leave till

next week next week yeah the river

washed out the road it's just impassible

dad we'll never make it in time to see

Pawn on Parade did you say

River have fun and be

careful reminds me of the raid I led on

the Kaa Island all we have were five men

two RS and one Army kn Che it out the

Grand Canyon isn't this beautiful Lou

don't you want to take a picture

uhhuh attention troops Choy Waters at

12:00 what time is it now

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let's go I'll catch

you goodness you're all right Lou can I

go next

okay under the line soldiers let's make

camp for the night we'll go to the top

tomorrow morning how are we supposed to

get up there the same way everyone else

[Music]

does come on you think I can't get up

the hill without you is that what you

think to the

top I heard that be careful boys

this stub donkey won't take any

orders come on Jasper get inside oh good

boy mark my words donkey we will meet

again and what are we going to do now

tomorrow's the last day of Pawns on

Parade not to mention the last day of

the coupon don't worry I've got

everything under control you won't we

say

that people I think I just found our way

to

nice balloon you got there thanks how

much you rent it for 24 hours you know

anything about flying a hot air balloon

you know who the first person was to fly

a balloon across the Atlantic you flew

across the Atlantic in a balloon that's

right hit England just kept going past

right over the Berlin Wall rescued a few

prisoners and then headed straight back

now uh how much rent this balloon for an

American hero like you no charge sir

well that's Mighty patriotic of

you yeah you don't know anything about

flying a balloon how hard can it be I

mean it's not like anyone's trying to

sh**t us

[Music]

down yeah how hard can it

be cool oh my how pretty wow look at

that

yeah do something we're going to

crash we've got too much weight the

balloon we need to throw something

overboard Lou yeah Dad how about how

much you weigh Lou don't even think

about it all right let's thr the luggage

overboard D it's not enough oh here how

about this not your collection yeah Mom

people we need to throw something

overboard quick can't you find something

else I did your brother didn't go for it

just give me a moment

today dad I got an

idea

gotcha cool nice thinking kid like they

say the Apple doesn't fall far from the

tree oh Lou thanks for saving my salt

and pepper shakers well we don't want to

risk our food supply

D sniffer land only 5 miles

away I told you we'd get us there on

time thanks Dad you're the greatest dad

ever you got that right you better get

that coupon ready different land here we

go all right we're the first ones here

why isn't anyone

here what's with the

rides Orlando Florida how far away is

that Dad by plan or balloon I'm afraid

it's on the other side of the country

Lou oh perfect H Lou I thought you said

sniffer land was in Fresno but it says

so right here

Dad this comic book is over 2 years old

now what are we supposed to do

now I have an

idea don't even think about it

Aura are you listening to me aa stop

right there about

face dad broke down and bought his plane

tickets back home he figured we'd save

money in the long run what have they got

in Orlando nothing but swamp land mark

my words nobody's ever going to go there

Seated on the left hand side of the

aircraft you can get a good view of the

Grand Canyon where is it yeah great

view I went on the growling Kine coaster

12 times it was really great it's too

bad you didn't make it to sniffer land

Lou we made it a couple of months late a

you missed the final pause on Parade I

know I missed it all and all I have to

show for my vacation are these lame

pictures what are they pictures of yeah

what are they let me see them you took

these wow where' you take this one from

I took that in the hot air balloon you

got to ride in a balloon yeah that was

after my dad did some Sky riding in the

plane we were flying in neat yeah and

after our bus almost fell over a cliff

oh no way and then we went white waterer

rafting through the Grand Canyon and a

snake almost ate me you're lying no he's

not look at this aming Louie you had the

coolest vacation ever you think so yeah

what else did you do Louie tell us more

yeah well we were jackasses from the

bottom of the Grand Canyon to I learned

a couple of things from that vacation

first I learned that sometimes the best

trips are the ones you don't plan and

second I learned there was a great big

world outside of Wisconsin and you know

something I was the only kid in town who

knew where the Colorado River was not to

mention having survived it in a raft are

so

lucky there's salt pepper shakers in my

trophy case my trophy case where are all

my

trophies I had my medals in there

there's nothing sacred anymore all right