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01x42 - What Becomes of The Broken Hearted?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Sabrina: The Animated Series". Aired: September 6 – November 19, 1999.*
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Unlike previous incarnations, Sabrina Spellman in this series is depicted as a 12-year-old attending middle school.

01x42 - What Becomes of The Broken Hearted?

Post by bunniefuu »

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[Applause]

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so unlike the terrifying monsters you

see in the movies

the great white shark is another

important link in that big ol eco chain

we call life the end

good report sabrina thank you thank you

mr phylum until this class i had no idea

how interesting biology could be

well you did excellent work and it seems

you really

sunk your teeth into the subject matter

oh mr p you are so funny

hello hello

and now class as you know this weekend

is the special marine biology field trip

since we'll be using a small boat i can

only take five of you me

know me me

did anybody see that

i haven't decided yet but i promised to

go over my records tonight and pick the

five most promising oceanographers

i'll announce the names tomorrow class

dismissed

well see you tomorrow

i mean are those other girls obvious or

what did you see the way they threw

themselves in him oh it was pretty gross

hey do you think he'll like the car

cover we needed him

i hope so we'll ask him on the field

trip on saturday but what if we don't

get chosen get real you're his best

student and didn't you hear him rave

about my report come on he has to pick

us hmm

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i hate you

curse and contraption die

why

isn't this a pretty picture yo

hello girls what's the problem uncle

quigley i seem to be having a little

difficulty loading the camera

hmm

yo why you little

ah

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where to go i can't see

whoa

chill out uncle quig what's the rush

it's my plant it's an extremely rare

timiticus hibiscus it only blooms once

every 25 years and today's the day and

since i've watered and fed it every day

for 25 years just waiting for this

moment i want to take a picture one of

the blooms

there now i'm ready

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oh i'm so glad this camera has an easy

load feature uncle quigg when you're

finished could i borrow the camera for

this weekend i want a shot of chloe and

me and mr phylum on the boat huh oh sure

sure fine whatever are you sure sabrina

you never know who mr phylum may pick

mortals can be so unpredictable i never

thought of that it would be awful if he

didn't pick chloe

this wasn't an easy choice but here's a

list of the five who are going with me

on the field trip they are

chloe

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jesse what mei ling

trevor

and of course delgi delhi wally walla

call me crazy but are you upset about

something salem i am so depressed my

favorite teacher didn't pick me for the

field trip well i'll show him i'll find

some way to transfer out of his class

hey why not just drop out of school all

together someone's got to flip burgers

for the hungry folks in the netherworld

you don't understand it makes me so mad

it makes me so sad i'm so confused

hey why not do what i do when i'm

confused how at the moon and eat muffin

mix

not that pay a visit to the ancient and

revered wise warlock of the east

wait a minute you're usually full of bad

advice why are you suddenly referring me

to someone else

the ancient and revered wise warlock of

the east free frequent flyer miles with

every referral nice try salem well

excuse my compassion just because i'm

saving up for a vacation to aruba

doesn't mean he can't help you what have

i got to lose how do i get there

just read the spell on the back of the

card take me to that warlock man if he

can't cure me no one can

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oh great why can't these guys ever live

in palm beach

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are you the wise warlock

hey

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hello

anybody here

huh

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oh why is warlock i uh i have traveled

far in search of your wisdom

pardon

what when is it a wise

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a leg one

don't stand there like a dummy helps

take me out

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how do people sit like this the pain you

get in the ointment uh

no figgis people always bring me their

troubles but do any of them bring me

ointment uh maybe i should come back

when you're feeling better

no stop sit take a load off

i see a teacher i see a name not chosen

i see disappointment amazing how do you

know that i see you don't know salem

called me

who is that guy he's a gnome he does a

little light cleaning and some cooking

you haven't eaten till you've had a

gnome-cooked meal

now where was i ah yes devise warlock

knows all and he knows you are suffering

from

a broken heart that'll be 24.95 you can

pay at the register and on your way out

don't forget to visit the gift shop

we're having a special this week on

chocolate wizard heads but

but um and be sure to tell all your

friends about the wise warlock i gotta

go now i got guests like you wouldn't

believe now wait just a second i already

knew what was wrong with me i came to

you for a cure a cure for a broken heart

what do i look like dear abby i don't

know why i came here in the first place

i'm out of here all right all right

don't get your knickers in a nut i'll

tell you what you gotta do

she who wishes to cure a broken heart

must first go on

a quest a quest brought your heart

broken and if i said a quest

what do i have to find on this quest you

must find a place in mortal or which who

has never ever had the heart broken then

and only then will i tell you the cure

oh and on your way back can you pick up

some milk and that doesn't ruin danish

but how will i know if somebody's had

their heart broken venus

thank you norman i call it my hearty cam

just look through this screen it'll show

you if the poison vanguard has ever

suffered a heartbreak at least it should

either the reception in this cave is the

voice or norman here is dead

tell you what i'll give you the hearty

cam as is 50 bucks plus postage and

handling if you really wanted to help

you wouldn't sell me some broken down

gizmo you'd go with me device warlock on

a quest oh i give up like i said you're

nothing but an old coot i'm going home

you are such a nudge okay okay i'll go

with you i got to pick up my dry

cleaning anyway no man my healthy cam

i'll be out questing with smarty pants

here watch the phone and don't forget to

vote the yak

you're going on the quest with me we

really should get your hearing check

valve out

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this is your school and i thought living

in the cave was depressing we're in a

closet i thought it'd be better if you

stayed hidden no need the rise warlock

is completely invisible to all but

yourself

move it

down i'm gonna lay such a case on that

kid

never mind that now i have to go find

someone who's never had their heart

broken

you wait here

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where's the emergency

in the closet it's just the janitor he's

kicked the

you bucket have to k*ll her i didn't i

just put a freeze frame spell on her

this is jen she's too rich to have her

heart broken think so let's take a look

to the hearty cam

see it's working there see that behind

the left ventricle ewe

what is it it's a memory stored in her

heart from six months ago

look it's jeff's house there's a party

going on

attention attention everyone for those

of you who are fashionably late let's

recap my daughter jim's fabulous 12th

birthday party

so far we've given her a string of polo

ponies her own signature line of

designer clothes a luxury yacht for the

swimming pool and to cap off the

festivities the greendale philharmonic

will play as teen heartthrob leo dewolfe

serves up the first slice of birthday

cake

maestro

hey

is that vanilla ice cream

but i wanted strawberry is that

too much to ask

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you're not serious you call that

heartbreak what can i say break is in

the heart of the beholder to her it's

heartbreak well maybe gem wasn't a good

choice

come on with me i know someone else we

can try

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this is harvey so you figure mr nobby

knees here has never had the broken

heart he'll be heartbreak free for sure

well let's take a look

back all of you back

my main man harvey needs space

wow he's been playing for eight hours

he's on the 20th level no one's ever

gone that far before well i hear he's

going for the big enchilada level 50.

they say level 50 holds the meaning of

life chill foolish portal no one can

beat the mystic masters of mayhem

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kid it's time to quit already mustn't

quit it's so near

suit yourself kid but it's late i gotta

start cleaning

i guess i unplugged it

sorry

welcome beginner to level one

but that's just a game you can't have

your heart broken over a game you're

kidding right ever hated the boston red

sox okay okay so harvey has had his

heart broken i know let's try my uncle

quigly he's just too sensible to let it

happen to him it's your quest

huh

come on precious i've taken care of you

every day for 25 long years now bloom

for daddy please

hilda zelda telephone

salem somebody get that phone

hello yes this is quigley

what about my long-distance service

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no i don't need free ginkgo knives

excuse me but

i have to go now goodbye

huh

i was only got a moment

could you wait till i got back

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25 long years

i guess he does have his disappointments

so far

let's keep this quest moving we'll go

upstairs there's somebody out there for

sure who hasn't had their heart broken i

should hope so

speaking of which is there a little

warlock's room upstairs i knew i should

have gone before i left the cave

and he'll just way too much of a flirt

to get her heart broken oh boy she's

been a busy little bee a heart's chucked

full of ex-boyfriends

hey take a look at this memory

that must be paris she lived there in

the early 1900s

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pierre you're painting it looks just

like me it's

beautiful

and this portrait of me is so realistic

it's fabuloso

it's true

so why aren't they selling don't worry

one day the whole world will recognize

the genius of pierre pistachio soon i

hope i'm broke

until then it's time you made up your

mind between zelda and me yes it isn't

fair for you to go on dating us both ah

i need your belt you are my inspiration

but but nothing i'm going to buy some

croissants

either of you got money

you can tell pierre likes me best my

picture is prettier

anyone with a trained eye could tell

mine is superior that means he likes me

best oh yeah

my picture

you ruined me

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my paintings

what has happened they are magnifique

what power what anger

what strength i must have these

paintings i'll give you ten thousand

francs

each wee

and i must have more just like them can

you paint me more

me paint like this

why not

why you too i have seen you inspiration

now

he's leaving me and it's your fault he's

leaving me and it's your fault

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i don't believe it aunt hilda and aunt

zelda i'm through fooling around i know

someone who's definitely never had his

heart broken a warlock who is so selfish

so cynical so self-centered how is salem

i better know where we can find him

right now

that's funny i have a sudden yen for a

croissant

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i told you a thousand times this is an

aquarium not a restaurant

let me in let me in

you're breaking my heart

so much for mr viscose maybe we can go

back to the cave now oh no i have just

begun to quest

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if i ever decide to go out questing

again just sh**t me well that's it i

failed i'm sorry i looked everywhere and

i couldn't find one person who hasn't

had their heart broken

uh what aha what you just said what that

i couldn't find anyone who hasn't had a

broken heart aha stop that i'll stop i

hang when you start thinking wake with

me we're almost to the mall here think

sabrina maybe

maybe there is no person who's never had

their heart broken

because

because

everyone goes through disappointment at

some time

and maybe

maybe there is no cure because there's

nothing to be cured it's kind of like

heartbreak is just a natural part of

life

congratulations kiddo you figured it out

and with only a little help

gee thanks i feel better knowing i'm not

the only one who's been hurt

still

i know i know i wish i could make the

pain go away right now but that's beyond

even my powers you just have to give it

time i should know

even the wise warlock has suffered a

heartbreak or two

but there are things you can do to help

norman

get involved with a new project

or set a new goal like figly did

or

help someone else has been disappointed

cause helping others helps yourself

that's what harvey did or put things in

perspective like hilda and zelda

remember there are folks very soft than

you thanks wise warlock you really are a

wise guy

the wisest and don't forget to talk me

up around town just a few fans and

problems can really rack up your

freaking fire miles

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how about the tote bag the color screams

you and remember devise warlock's wisest

fades

it always pays to shop in volume

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sabrina where have you been you

disappeared so fast after class

yesterday yeah i know i was kind of

bummed

i don't blame you i can't believe mr

phylum didn't pick you yeah i was real

hurt at first i even considered getting

out of biology but i'm better now

really how did you manage that um i just

tried to put everything in perspective

and then

i got over it

cool bag where'd you get it

like it i know someone who will sell you

as many as you want

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