01x01 - While the Cat's Away

[bunniefuu]

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[Scary laughter]

Oh, hello, fright fans.

I've been feeling a little

Burned out lately, so I'm

Taking a last minute vacation.

I want to go someplace that's

Relaxed and scare-free.

But wait... Where?

Ah, here's a place with fond

Memories... Shriekport, rhode

Island.

Just the place for a little r

& R.

Ahhh... Rest and rigor mortis,

That is.

Heh-heh-heh!

I could go back to new yuck

City.

I hear they're in the middle

Of another slime wave.

Say, here's one of

My favourites... You-sicken-me

National park.

Or maybe a nice trip

To carlsbat... Hey!

Carlsbat caverns.

I could wing them up

For reservations.

Or a jungle holiday.

A deep sea adventure?

[Car horn sounds]

I can't decide.

Cab's here.

All right, all right.

While I'm making my chilling

Choice, let's go someplace

Really scary... This week's

Terror tale.

It's a little gem

Of ghastliness I call...

P-11 baja sandslicer...

The most extreme ultimate

Speed machine.

Awesome!

Better than awesome.

Fearsome!

You think dad would ever

Buy us one, stu?

Right, dwight!

And I've got seven ninjas

In my back pocket.

You could at least ask him.

Heck, maybe he's in a good

Mood.

I'll have to think

About this.

French cuisine is so... Rich.

Yes, you are...

Very, very r-r-ri...

Ha-ha-ha!

That is... Uh... I mean... Uh...a

Person of your stature

Deserves the richest

Of everything, mrs. Crumm.

Ha-ha!

And this travel package is

Rather... Expensive?

Well, you can't put a price

On memories, mrs. Crumm.

Heh-heh...

I put a price

On everything, mr. Hancott.

But... Mrs. Crumm, I'm sure

I could...

Good day!

Oh!

Hey, dad!

How's business?

If things get any slower,

I'm going to ask you guys

For an allowance!

[Telephone ringing]

Ohhh... Hancott travel.

Uh... Yes!

We have many attractive

Packages.

To... To pennsylvania?

Yes, we... To transylvania?

Well, I'm... Uh... I'm sure

We could put some sort

Of package together.

Yes... Um-hmm.

M-m-money's no object?

Well, then... Certainly.

First class all the way!

I'll arrange everything, uh,

Mr. Uh... T. Charles kingman,



Later, dad!

Will that be cash?

Ohhh... Fine.

He was getting in a good

Mood, stu.

Why didn't you ask him

About the bike?

Because we're gonna get

The bike compliments of t.

Charles kingman.

Huh?

Hey!

Try and keep up

With the program, little bro'.

Jerk, wait for me!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Money, money, money, money,

Money!

Money, money, money, money,

Money!

It's almost as simple

As you are.

Kingman's rich and he's

Leaving town.

All we gotta do is sneak

Into his place, grab something

Valuable, and the sandslicer

Is ours.

Vroom... Vroom!

But, stu...

Hey, you ain't scared, are

Ya?

Naw, it's just... Well,

That's stealing.

Picture, if you will,

The destructive power

Of the p-11 baja sandslicer

At your command.

Hasta la vista, baby!

When does kingman's plane

Leave?

Vroom!

Kingman's gotta be gone

By now.

Are you sure this guy's

A millionaire?

Yeah, sure.

The kind that don't waste

Money on house repairs.

Come on.

I don't like this, stu.

What if somebody's home?

So we knock first!

Ahhhhhh!

Gross!

Yeah, cool!

Whew!

There isn't enough in here

To trade in on a tricycle,

Stu.

You don't know that yet.

Come on.

I've read about crazy old guys

Like kingman.

They live like they're poor.

But when they die, someone

Finds millions of dollars

Stashed away in some hiding

Place.

I can imagine what else is

Stashed around here.

You and your imagination!

Aaah... Stu!

Stu!

Yeowww!

Ooof!

Get off, dork!

The guy in the painting,

Stu!

I-it... Hic'...m-moved!

Like it was trying

To... Hic'...k*ll me!

I'm gonna k*ll

You if you don't chill out,

Dwight!

You're afraid of your own

Shadow.

And every time ya get freaked

Out about something, ya turn

Into a woodpecker!

I... Hic'...

Can't... Hic'...

Help it.

What is your problem?

This place is haunted, stu.

Let's forget the bike and get

Outta here!

Forget my p-11 sandslicer?

I'd rather die!

[Smooch].

Don't say that, stu!

There's gotta be something

Worth stealing.

Start looking.

For what?

I don't know.

All these libraries have

Secret panels that open up

When you move a candle

Or something.

Huh?

Aaaah!

Ooof!

Whoaaa!

Good going, dwight!

It looks like you found

The secret hiding place.

No, stu, don't!

I think I saw something moving

In there!

Get real, dwight.

What could be in...

Stu... Hic'!

Stu... Hic'!

Stuuu...

Stu... Hic'!

Stu... Hic'!

Stu... Hic'!

Stu... Hic'!

Stu... Hic'!

[Screaming]

[Laughter]

Yeah, real funny,

Stu... Hic'.

Hmmm... What have we here?

Dum-da-dum da-dum-dum dum-da.

Whoaaa!

Major find, dude!

Hey!

Check this out.

Dwight?

Dwight!

Now where did he go?

Let me... Hic'...outta here!

Helpppppp!

[Gasp!]

That's twice you've scared

The heck outta me!

Relax, dwight.

Our problems are over.

I've gotta map.

"X" marks the spot.

"X" as in exit?

"X" as in treasure.

We gotta head down those

Stairs.

Uh-uh... Deal me out.

Treasure, dude!

Maybe enough for two dirt

Bikes.

Vroom?

Hasta la vista, baby!

Ohhh... You go first.

What was that?

Just the stairs, geek.

But stone stairs don't

Creak, stu.

Hic'!

[Whimpering]

Awww... It's a widdle

Poochie.

A dog?

A dog named fifi.

[Chains rattling]

Sounds even more scared than

You are.

Probably some kind of prissy

Poodle, or a...

Stu!

Door!

Whoa, this is great!

What?

The way I figure it,

Kingman wouldn't have

Something like that skulking

Around if he didn't have

Something real valuable

To protect.

Listen, stu, maybe it's

Just me, but that sure looked

Like a... Hic'...werewolf!

There's no such thing

As werewolfs, dwight.

Not according to fifi!

Listen, stu, I've been

Thinking about that dirt bike.

Yeah, well quit thinking

'Cause soon you'll be... Vroom!

Hmmm...

What is this thing?

It's pretty lumpy.

Yeowww...

Uh... Stu.

Hic'...hic'...

Oh-oh, what did ya do?

Whatever it is, help me

Shut it off!

Huh?

My dirt bike!

Stuuu!

Grrrrrr!

[Gasp!]

Yeowww!

Stu!

Don't leave me now!

Dwight!

Stu!

Get me outta here!

If you're not coming out,

Stu, I'm coming in!

Try something!

Try anything!

The p-11 and I owe you one,

Bro'.

Uh-oh.

Payback time!

We got one hope, dwight.

Anything, stu!

Slide and slip!

Aaaaaah...

Ohhh!

Ooof!

Whoaaa...

Move it, stu!

Move it!

Stu?

Gimme a hand with this.

Come on!

Lift!

Too heavy.

Try again!

Uh, stu?

Gimme a hand, dwight.

Uh, stu?

Keep lifting, dwight.

Stu!

Okay, what is it?

C-c-coffin!

First hiccups, now

Coughing.

No, not coughing... Coffin!

[Gasp!]

I'm losing count.

I think we lost 'em.

Stu?

Stu?

Don't tell me you lost me!

Stuuu!

Dwight?

Dwight?

Great, no brother

And no batteries.

All this for a p-11 baja

Sandslicer.

I promise if I ever get outta

This, I'll ride my crummy old

Bicycle until I'm 80!

Even better, I'll walk till

I'm 80!

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom,

Vroom.

Whew, that's a relief!

[Gasp!]

Hey, wait a second.

Ha!

It'll take more than a little

Old spider to scare me!

Whoaaa!

No more spit ba*ls

In history class... Hic'.

No more quarters

In the arcade... Hic'.

I'll study 30 hours a day...

Whoaaa!

Whew!

[Gasp!]

Whoaaa!

Stu!

Stuuu!

Dwight?

Stu?

Dwight?

Stu?

What?

Stuuu!

Stu?

Come on, dork.

The treasure's just ahead.

It should be right around this

Corner.

A dead end!

The map says there's a way.

All right!

This time check it out

First.

It's safe.

At last, no surprises.

And no way out!

Ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

What's so funny?

This is it!

This is where the treasure's

Buried!

Boy, that was easy!

Watch it, dork!

We're stuck in here, stu!

Even if we could get out

Of here, a lot of good a p-11

Sandslicer is gonna do when

You're inside a werewolf!

Or maybe you'll just be riding

At night and one of those

Vampires gets ya!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Vroom!

Sandslicer, here we...

A comic book?

[Gasp!]

We did all this for a comic

Book?

It's issue number one.

Issue number one!

Well, that's just primo!

I'd hate to go through this

For issue number two!

That's us, stu, in this room.

But how?

We've been set up!

Come on, dwight.

We didn't see no zombies.

[Zombies roaring]

I don't care!

You can keep the treasure!

Keep the sandslicer!

Just let us outta here!

Go!

Keep it!

[Scary laughter]

Boy, fifi sure gave me

A warm welcome home.

Yuck!

Poor stu and dwight!

I'll bet they need a vacation.

I guess they learned that

Stealing can have grave

Consequences.

But don't worry, I'm sure

Their criminal plans have been

Laid to rest!

Hee-hee-hee!

Say, ghoul watchers, wanna see

The slides from my trip?

No!

No... No...

Join us next week, boils

And gargoyles, for another

Fearfest!

Ah-heh-heh-heh...

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