02x01 - Game Over

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[Scary laughter]

Good evening.

Long time... No scare.

Hee-hee-hee!

But don't worry, boils

And ghouls, your old fiend,

The cryptkeeper will soon fix

That.

Just sit back and get ready

For a little terror tale

Guaranteed to get the bile

Bubbling.

I call tonight's gory story...

[Door chimes sounding]

Uhhh... Who could be ringing

My horror bell at this hour?

[Door chimes sounding]

Hold your hearses!

[Door chimes sounding]

I'll just have to get rid

Of whoever it is... Cryptkeeper

Style.

I'll just scare the pants off

Them.

Hee-hee-hee!

[Gasp!]

Aaahhh!

[Witch cackling]

Guess whoooooo!

Your glamorous and ghoulish

Gal pal, the old witch,

And I've got just the idea

To help your show.

What's wrong with my show.

You need to liven it up

A little, crypty.

Liven it up?

But I tell deadtime stories.

And don't call me crypty!

Sure, crypty.

But if little old me were

Your hostess with the mostest,

We could do sooo much more.

For example, does your face

Hurt?

No, why.

Well, it's k*lling me.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

And that means only one thing.

You're leaving?

Ooof!

No.

It's time for the old

Hag's... Beauty bag!

Fasten your chair restraints

And get ready for a monster

Makeover guaranteed to make

People give you a second look.

Ha-ha-ha!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

I don't have time for this

Ghoulishness.

I've got a story to tell.

Sorry, folks.

Hold still, crypty.

This'll only take a second.

Hee-hee-ha-ha!

Oh, no, not the wrinkle

Scream!

Aaahhh!

Eew... Scare conditioner!

Toothwaste!

Wartblush!

Ma-scare-a!

Eye of newt?

I can't help myself.

Lip shriek!

Sty shadow!

Rude rouge!

[Belch]

No!

No!

Not the smell gel!

So what do you think,

Kiddies?

Gorgeous, or what?

Aaahhh!

My crocodiles!

Your what?

Crocodiles.

I almost forgot.

It's time to feed

My crocodiles.

Uh... Hand me that rope, will

You?

Sure, crypty.

Aaahhh...

See you later, alligator.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

[Crocodiles snapping]

Now, scare was i?

Ah, yes.

Tonight's gory story.

[Cough, cough!]

It's about two boys who were

Always skipping school.

[Cough, cough!]

It's no choke.

They cut class to feed

Their video game habit...

A habit that was consuming

Them.

I call it... "Game over."

[School bell ringing]

Monster blast!

Fire!

Fire! Fire! Now!

All right!

I'm getting 'em!

I'm getting 'em!

sh**t 'em! sh**t 'em!

Get those bats!

Get those bats!

Come on, buddy, take over!

Oh, yeah! sh**t, sh**t!

You're taking 'em, you're

Taking em!

Oh, get those bats! Yeah!

Go, buddy, go! Fire, buddy!

You're gonna get 'em!

You got 'em!

All right, buddy, my man!

Nice shot!

Whoa! Look over there!

All right!

Get him!

Get him!

sh**t! sh**t!

sh**t!

We got zombies!

We got werewolf!

You take the zombies, I'll

Take the werewolf!

Fire, fire, fire!

Yeah, sh**t, sh**t, sh**t!

Oh, no, zombie!

Fire, buddy!

All right!

Buddy, you took 'em down.

Blast that bloodsucker!

Yes, you got that blood

Sucker!

Go, buddy!

Oh, no, the grim reaper!

Come on, buddy, we gotta get

Him!

Yes! We did it!

We did it!

We did it!

Yeah!

Monster blast!

Wow, you really sent those

Zombies back down under,

Buddy.

And the way you blasted

Those vampires, man.

Uh-oh, we're late, vince.

Real late.

School's closed.

Looks like we did it again.

Hey, we were busy saving

The human race from being

Conquered by brain-sucking

Monsters, right, dude?

Right.

It's a tough job,

But somebody's gotta do it.

Yes!

All right!

That giant leech, man,

He didn't even know what hit

Him.

Ha-ha-ha!

So, what's first, vince?

Heads for homework.

Tails for games.

Games.

Aw, it needs new batteries.

Double-a's on the way.

Never mind.

It's working.

Cool!

Aaahhh!

Help!

Huh?

Vince!

Aaahhh!

Uhhh... Take that!

Aaahhh!

What was that?

I-i-i don't know.

But it just popped off, just

Like in... Uh... A video game!

[Gasp!]

Heh-heh-heh!

Aaahhh!

Run!

Huh?

Aaahhh!

Zombies, vince!

Those were zombies!

Maybe they weren't real

Zombies, buddy.

Maybe they were... Video

Zombies.

Who cares?

All I know is there were lots

Of them.

Well, they can't get us here.

We'll see 'em coming.

Bats!

Yeah, good idea.

No, bad bats!

[Gasp!]

Run!

Ooof!

Vampire bats!

Buddy, hang on!

Ooof!

Aaah!

Vince!

Hold on, buddy!

Uhhh!

Batter up!

We're outta baseballs.

It's okay.

We're out of video bats.

Video or not, they felt

Real to me.

Their fangs were this close,

Vince, this... Holes, vince!

Are there any holes?

Relax, man.

We're off the lunch menu.

Aaahhh!

Grrrrrr!

But not dinner!

Blood sucker!

Aaahhh!

Maniac zombies, vampire

Bats, giant leeches... What's

Next?

Ow-owooo...

Uh-oh!

Werewolf!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

[Gasp!]

Heh-heh... Uh, n-nice doggy.

Doggy want a biscuit?

Aaahhh!

Ooof!

Vince!

Aaahhh!

[Gasps!]

This is not fun anymore.

Oh, man, was it ever?

Why, buddy.

Why what?

Why are all these video

Monsters coming after us?

Yeah, I mean, every time

We turn around, there

They are.

I don't know, vince,

But I'll tell you one thing.

It's gonna be a long time

Before I even look at a video

Game again.

Maybe that's what this is

All about.

Buddy, you know what?

I think this is some kind

Of punishment.

For playing video games

Or 'cause we're always

Skipping school?

Both, man.

It's all we ever do.

We don't care about anything

Else...

Except... Video games.

Nah!

It's gotta be

Because there's a hole

In the ozone layer

Or something.

Yeah, some kind

Of dimensional time-space

Tear.

Makes a lot more sense.

Yeah.

Aaahhh!

Ooof!

Whoa!

Something tells me we took

A wrong turn.

Wrong turn?

There's no way out.

We're trapped!

What do we do now?

I have a feeling we're

About to find out.

Vince!

Run!

But there's no way out,

Vince.

[Evil laughter]

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Viiinnnce!

Hold on, buddy!

Aaahhh!

No way!

It's impossible!

You can't be!

If you're only a video

Character, then that means...

So am i!

All right!

We did it!

We won!

Monsters 1, humans zip.

Well, gronk, you sure sent

Buddy back to boomerville,

And video vince sure knew what

Hit him when my reaper zapped

Him.

Let's do it again, gronk, only

This time I get to zap vince.

Sure, bork, but we're gonna

Miss school.

So?

We're saving the world

From being overrun

By radically ugly humans.

You're right, bork.

It's a tough job,

But somebody's gotta do it.

Yes!

All right!

Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

Yes!

Take that!

Ha-ha!

Whoo-hoo!

So you see, skipping school

Is not totally ghoul.

You may get static.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

And since they spent all this

Time playing video games,

They ended up really getting

Into it.

Hee-hee-hee!

Very well.

Very well.

I suppose I should see how

My crocodile soup's coming

Along.

You still down there, old

Witch?

I had to ask.

Good evening.

Heh-heh-hmm-hmm!

Come to me.

Come to me.

I hear and i... Ribbit...

Oh master.

You're just what I need

For today's experiments

From the "vaultkeeper show."

Experiments from

The "vaultkeeper show?"

This is my show!

Ach-hem... Not anymore.

Heh-heh-hmm!

Hey, wart's the big idea?

On today's show, we are

Going to see what makes this

Frog jump by learning how

To transplant brains.

Cluck, cluck, cluck!

Aahhh!

I told you, you can't do this!

Oh, but I can.

I've tried it before.

It really works.

So, relax.

It's not as bad as you think.

You're not going to end up

With a chicken brain.

Mooooooo!

See?

I guess if I croak,

At least I'd be rid of this

Frog in my throat.

Listen, if you're going

To take over my show, at least

Show the audience something

They haven't seen before.

Like what.

How about changing me

Into a... Person.

Oh, I like that... A real

Challenge.

Mooooooo!

Oops... Sorry.

Looks like you got fried

Somewhere around halfway.

Guess whooooo!

Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

In a while, crocodiles.

[Smooch!]

Boy, I just flew

In from wichita, and brother,

Is my broom tired.

Ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha!

Get it?

Broom... Witch?

Never mind getting it.

How about getting out!

Both of you!

Now!

Immediately!

Tutto il mondo!

Tout de suite!

I'm in the middle of my show!

Sorry, crypty, my show!

My show!

Mine!

My show!

My show!

My show!

Mine!

Mine!

My show!

My show!

It just figures.

First the old witch, and now

The vaultkeeper trying to get

Into my act.

Oooh... Those two make my blood

Boil... That is, if I had any.

[Car horn honks]

This master of scaremonies is

Taking his show on the road.

To the scareport, and step

On it, I'm detombined to find

A place where I can tell

My terror tales in rest

In peace.

You're the boss.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Follow that scab!

Crypty's stealing the show!

Ooof!

I'm the driving force

Behind this show.

Aaah!

Stop him.

He's getting away

With my show!

Your show?

You mean my show!

My show!

My show!

My show!

My show!

My show!

Hopefully those two run out

Of scream before I run out

Of gasp.

So until next time, boils

And ghouls, pleasant screams.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

My show!

Mine!

My show!

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