Cook, The (2008)

[bunniefuu]

[sizzling]

# [rock]

# This world is
taking us too far #

# I never remember
this part of town #

# It used to be sunny
and so clear #

# All my days are turning
into nights now #

# Bring a plastic arm
into my front door #

# I'm so bored I don't
know where to go now #

# Maybe you can
show me something #

[kisses]
Bye.

I f*cking hate
those c**ts.

Yeah, me too.

Maybe I should've
gone to Cabo.

I've never even heard
of that island.

Because it's not
an island, sh*t flake.

Hey, you two better
work out your sh*t,

'cause I'm not gonna
let you ruin my weekend.

Island or not, I'm sure it's
better than this sh*thole.

Those skanks will probably
end up g*ng r*ped

and left for dead
in a dumpster somewhere.

Yeah, God willing.

I know some frat guys who are
always up for a good g*ng bang.

sl*t.
-You know it.

# All my days are turning
into nights now #

g*ng r*pe.
Gone's the faith.

[laughing]
Give it to me now.

Hi, Amy.

[Girls]
Hi, Amy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did we catch you
at a bad time?

You probably want some
privacy with your porn.

It's not p*rn*graphy.
It's for my Anatomy 404 class.

All I see is
dirty pictures.

Is that a c*ck?

It's called
a phallus.

Yeah, that's
a c*ck, all right.

So is that why you
wanna be a doctor?

So you can look at people's
naughty bits? [chuckles]

Wow. This guy
is really packing.

Can I get
his number, Ames?

I'm sure Pam still has it
on her palm from last night.

[All laughing]

Speaking of d*ck,

has anyone seen
the new substitute cook?

[Both]
Mm-mmm.

Mm-mmm.

Well, I just hope he's
not like all the other guys

we get around here: prude.
[All laugh]

Men are idiots.

All I need is my beaver
whistle to keep me satisfied.

[smack]
Hey!

How did cave women
ever get off without them?

I think they
used sticks.

Yeah, sticks!

Come on, ladies.

We've got some serious smoking to do.

[Girls] Ooh.
[mouths word]

Hey, listen.

If you need any help
studying, just ask, okay?

Thanks. I'll keep
that in mind.

[sighs]

[screams]
Oh, God.

Okay!

Ow!

I'm such a klutz.
Okay.

Thank you.

So, you must be filling
in for the weekend.

Um...where would
you like these?

Oh, God.

What do you have in here,
a body or something?

Wow, you must be
some cook.

I am cook.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I know, I could
hurt myself.

So, where are you from?

I'm from Arizona.

And you are, um, from...

Oh, God, this is
getting us nowhere.

Okay.

I am from here, Arizona.

And you are from--
Hungary.

No, no, I'm not
hungry, thank you.

Arizona.

Hungary.

Oh, you're from Hungary.
Okay, I get it.

[giggling]

Wait a second.
You're the Hungary cook?

That's a good one.

All right. Well, um,
I guess I should be going.

So I'll, um,
see you later.

Okay.

Okay.

[distant laughing]

She's so lame.

Hiya.

What you doin'?

Um, stuff.

I have a lot
of things to prepare

for the Garden of Eden Club.

We're going downtown to
feed the homeless next week.

That's nice.

I'm bored.

So did you wanna
do something later?

Why didn't you go to Cabo?

I don't know.

Don't think it would've
been much fun.

Why didn't you go?

I told you.
I'm busy.

Now, your crosses
look crooked.

I-- Don't.
Don't touch that.

Still isn't straight.

You know, you just
need to chill out.

You're kinda tense.

I told you I have
a lot of work to do.

The Lord's work
is never done.

Doesn't God
even take a break?

Isn't that what
the Sabbath is for?

Wait. Do you
study the Bible?

Oh my God,
every night.

Yeah. It's right under my
bed where I f*ck the priest.

Yeah, it was, like, a
totally religious experience,

him putting his resurrections
in my holiest of holies.

Have you been
tongue baptized yet?

Oh. Can you please go now?

Okay. But if you
wanna take a break,

remember, my door's
always open.

[screams]

Christ, you scared me.

Finally, someone around
here with a little culture.

It is unbelievable how
few people in this country

have an understanding
of art.

It must be different
where you're from.

Oh.

He's my favorite.

I am cook.

# [rock on headphones]

[sigh]
I wish I was in Cabo.

Maybe if you click
your heels together.

Huh?

Forget it.

Don't you wish you were in
Cabo with the other sisters?

Not really.

You know I have a lot
of studying to do.

Ugh. Study study study.

All you ever do is read
those stupid books.

Not all of us can afford
to get away for the weekend.

Besides, it wouldn't hurt you to
crack open a book once in a while.

Ugh. God!

Can't you ever get your mind
off of school for one second?

I'm sorry, Bunny,
but I've gotta cram

if I'm gonna be ready
for midterms.

The only thing you need to
cram is a big c*ck in your box.

You need a boyfriend.
[laughs]

It sounds like
a child's toy.

Okay, girls, let's all
play c*ck in your box.

Make jokes now,

but if you don't get
some action soon,

your well's
gonna run dry.

Please. Just because my a*s
doesn't have an open-door policy

does not mean
I'm going to shrivel up.

You're just jealous

because I have
a k*ller a*s.

Oh, please.

I've seen tighter.

Oh, take that back.
I like my a*s.

So do all the boys.
You're gonna get it.

[laughing]

[laughing]

God, I love
smoking weed.

[laughs]

Yep. I loves me
the good sh*t.

I think I've had enough.

No one likes
a quitter.

Yeah. Quitters never win.

Whatever. This is like
Lilith Fair in here.

[laughs] Do you guys wanna
invite some guys over?

Brooke has a mustache.

That's kind of like
being with a guy.

[all laugh]
I do not!

Yeah, you do.
b*tch.

[laughing]
Oh.

You have to admit,
though,

you had one when you rimmed
your English professor.

Well, I was gonna
fail the class.

Why the f*ck do you wanna go hang
out with those frat guys, anyway?

You know all they
wanna do is f*ck you.

I like to f*ck guys.

Is there something
wrong with that?

So why don't you just
go and f*ck 'em?

Come party with us or
get the f*ck out of here.

Come on.
Party with us.

You know you want to.

All the cool kids
are doing it.

What's up? I thought wh*res
were into experimenting.

I'm going to the frat
house for a c*ck run.

Good riddance, c**t.

Go f*ck yourself, d*ke.

Later I will, and I'll
be thinking of you.

I'll be thinking
of you too, Michelle!

Seriously,
shut the f*ck up.

[gasps]
Oh, it's you.

I have the munchies.

Do you know munchies?

Oh.

Okay.

You're kinda cute
for an older man.

You want a blowjob?

Suit yourself.

You're the strong,
silent type.

I like that.

What else can
those hands do?

Come on.

If you put
that knife down,

I'll let you do

whatever you want
with me.

Sensitive about
your toys, aren't you?

Then what would you do
if I did this?

[growls]

I would so, like,
rock your world.

[laughs]

Are you coming on to me?
[laughing]

Oh, come on.
Don't be shy.

I won't bite.

Maybe just a little.

[gasps]

[screams]

# Crystal freak #
# Yeah #

Hungry.

Mm. Smells good.

Smells kind of fishy
if you ask me.

No, Amy,
that's just you.

Shut up, Pam.

I didn't say anything,
dirty sl*t.

Settle down, children.

What the f*ck crawled
up your a*s and died?

[laughing]

[Pam]
Give me the wine.

I'm starving.

[Cook]
Okay! Ha-ha!

[Girls]
Ooh.

Mmm.
- Finally.

Ah.

[Girls, laughing]
Wow.

Mmm.
[Girls] - Mmm.

Okay.
[chatter]

[Cook]
Oh!

[Girls]
Ooh.

I love sloppy joes.

Looks good.

Did any of you guys tell
him that I don't eat meat?

[Girl] Actually, it's
made from aborted fetuses.

Leave her alone.

[Girl]
It's really juicy.

[Girl #2]
It's good.

These are pretty good.

Mm. Meaty.

Delicious!
Mmm!

So good.

You should try it.

So f*cking good.

Oh, my God.

Yum.

[Girls]
Mmm.

[Girls]
So good.

Yummy to my tummy.

I haven't had sloppy joes
since I was six.

Do you think he'll make
bug juice for breakfast?

I think Anastasia's a d*ke.
- What?

You saw the way
she looked at Kristen.

That is exactly the same
look I gave Orlando Bloom.

When did you see him?

When we were
out last night.

We?
- Me and my pocket rocket.

You're sick.
- Like I haven't caught you before.

You coming?

No, I think I'm gonna
help the cook clean up.

Please. Like you're
fooling anybody.

What are you
talking about?

You want a piece
of that a*s for dessert.

Give me a break, Bunny.

He doesn't even
speak English.

Since when is there
a language requirement

to get into your pants?

Oh, that must be
the oral part of the exam.

I'll see you later.

Or not.

[Girls laughing]

I f*cking love
this movie.

Yeah, it f*cking rocks.

Oh. Are you worried
about Michelle?

She's a b*tch.
- Right. A b*tch.

She said she was hanging
out with those frat guys.

Yeah, I know, but--

What do you see
in that twat anyway?

I'm just a little
worried about her.

Me too.

Yeah, right.
You just want to f*ck her.

What are you
talking about?

Stop being such a p*ssy
and admit it.

What about you?

I'm not a d*ke, d*ke.
- You are such a wh*re.

That's right, b*tch.

Give me a buck
and I'll give you a f*ck.

f*ck for a buck.
[laughs]

Oh! Ow!

# [country on radio]

I thought you
could use some help.

Hmm.

Give me that sh*t.

Think I'm gonna
go find Michelle,

'cause I'm getting
bored of you two.

Oh, no!

What do you
want to do?

You guys know
what body shots are?

Mm-mmm.
- Un-unh.

Autumn, go get some limes.
I'll grab the tequila.

And, Brooke, you
take off your shirt.

Okay.

I have no idea
what you just said.

But it sounded sweet.

Okay, class,

after rounding up
the necessary ingredients,

you need to rub
the lime

across your partner's
desired body part.

Then comes the salt.

The lime makes
the salt stick, see?

Huh.

Hit me, babe.

[laughing]

Down the hatch.

So tell me again why I
had to take my top off.

'Cause she's a d*ke.
[laughs] - 'Cause I'm a d*ke.

[gasps]

Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.

You were having
another nightmare.

Do you remember
what it was about?

I think some lunatic
was chasing me with a knife.

You know, you should really
have that checked out.

My mom could recommend
a great shrink.

Thanks, but I think I'm just
nervous about my Biology midterm.

Ugh, I don't feel well.

Maybe it was
something you ate.

# [whistling]

Oh, good morning.

Okay.

You seem to be in a very
good mood this morning.

I'm sorry.
I don't follow.

You are so sweet.

I'm sorry.
I don't follow.

There's just something
about you that's so charming.

Thank you.

Good morning.

Would you like a spanking for breakfast?
- Cut it out.

Not until you tell
me what you want.

I don't want
anything from you.

[Autumn]
Good morning.

So...who do you have to blow to
get something to eat around here?

I don't know.

[sighs]

I am so bushed.

Funny, I don't remember
ordering whine for breakfast.

Eat me.
- Tempting.

Okay!

[chuckling]

[Girls]
Ooh.

Wow.
- Wow.

That's delicious food.

Looks good.
I'm so hungry.

Thank you.

Mmm.

This is
really good grub.

What is it?

I think it's
corned beef hash.

It doesn't look
like corned beef.

I can't eat that.

Tastes good,
whatever it is.

Hey, have either of you
seen Michelle?

Mm-mmm.
- Mm-mmm.

I told you
she'd bail, dude.

Hey! Where do you
think you're going?

Yeah, what the f*ck?
Get your skinny a*s in here.

[sighs]

I'm just here to tutor Bunny
and I'm running late.

Bunny, your
boyfriend's here.

Our relationship is
strictly professional.

Oh, that's too bad.

Really?
- She told me she has the hots for you.

Really?
- Oh, yeah.

[snickering]

[Girls laughing]

Um, let's not let that become
a distraction, you know,

because...we got
a lot of work to do.

Wait, wait, wait.
Try this.

What is it?

You tell us
what it is.

Yeah, tell us
what it is.

No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.

If you can tell me
what it is,

I'll let you touch
my t*ts.

Yeah, touch her t*ts!

Ugh.

Mmm.

Mmm. It tastes
like chicken.

Get the hell
away from me.

What was that for?

I don't let just anyone
touch my t*ts.

Don't touch the t*ts.
God.

Well, okay.

If you ladies will
excuse me, I've gotta go.

Whatever.

So, did you rub skin
with the cook last night?

No. I told you, I just
wanted to help him clean up.

Oh, right. Silly me.

He tries to talk to me, but he
barely speaks a word of English.

I bet he speaks one
language you can understand.

The universal
language of love.

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

Professor Lance,
here for your lesson.

[whispers] God, I'm so not here.
Tell him I'm gone.

Come on.
He likes you.

Good morning, Amy.
- Hi, Lance. How's the thesis coming?

Good. Good.

Wow.

Excuse me.

You said that out loud.
[pats]

Thanks. Sorry.
Hey, Bunny.

You're a little early, Lance.
I'm not even done with my workout.

I thought I'd come by
a little early

so we could...

hang out,

sh**t the breeze
or whatever.

Yeah. See,
the thing is, Lance,

we're not
really friends.

Oh.

I mean, I really appreciate the
help you give me with my homework,

but let's just leave it
at that, okay?

You know, just, like,
keep it professional.

Right, of course.

Just keep it professional.

Totally.

Right.

Well, as long as you're here,
let's just get it over with, okay?

# [guitar]

[Man singing]
# Are you there maybe #

# It's all I need to know #

# It's all I need #

# We've changed lately #

# Walking around like you're
covering tracks in the snow #

# What do I know? #

Would you like
to come in?

No. Listen.

I just wanna know
why you keep picking on me.

Because you've been
a very bad girl.

What?

I think you need
a spanking.

You're not listening to me.

I always listen.

You're just
a dirty little liar.

I am not.

Want me to prove it?

Now, you dirty liar,
tell me

you didn't like that.

Tell me that wasn't
the best kiss

you've ever had.

[crying]

With-- With the R.

Like, do you know how
to multiply that?

Well, what's the difference between
five times three and three times five?

Well--
[knocking on door]

Come in.

Hey.

Hey, what's up?

Have either of you guys
seen Michelle?

No, why?

She's been missing,
like, all night.

Oh, well, it's still early.
She'll come back.

Yeah, I guess.

All right, well, thanks. Bye.
[mouths words]

What are you
staring at?

I'm-- Nothing.

Nothing. I was just--
I was--

Look, you're still
not getting it.

Haven't you been using the
cheat sheet that I gave you?

I kinda threw it
out by accident.

Oh, that's cool, Buns.

You know I hate it
when you call me that.

Snap out of it,
Einstein!

We've got a lot
of work to do.

I'm doing it. I'm just
getting back to work here.

Jeez.

Hey. What's up?

Oh? That's nice.

What are you reading?

Listen!
- You never answered my question.

Listen to me.

No. You listen to me.

I asked you a question.

What question, God damn it?

I asked you if that wasn't the best kiss

you ever had.

I'm not g*y, all right?

Then why can't you
answer the question?

Come back when you're ready.

Ooh!
That didn't sound good.

Lovers' quarrel.
Who?

Kristen and Anastasia.

Do you think they're,
like...

Just look at the way
Anastasia eyes Kristen.

And Kristen, that girl
doesn't know what she wants.

Boy.

Who knew you could
read people so well?

See?

I'm not just good
with numbers.

Oh, boy, do I stink!

Can we take
a break?

Sure.
- This math stuff is so hard.

Seriously, it gives
me a migraine.

Just hang out here while
I take a shower, okay?

Like I'd rather
be anywhere else.

Did you say something?
- No.

You wanna come
scrub my back?

I, um...
Sure, yeah.

Just kidding, silly.

I'll be right back.

What's with you, Frank?

Come on, man, you're gonna
get us kicked out of here.

She was joking. We're not going
into her special place yet.

Everything's gotta be just right
when we make our move, okay?

We'll figure this chick out
sooner or later.

Good? Okay,
let's shake on it.

Easy. There you
go, buddy.

I just have one final
thing to say to you.

Let's not make another scene
in the hallway.

I'm not a l*sbian.

I'll never be a l*sbian.

You could've fooled me.

But--

You kissed me.

That was to show you that
there's more to life

than what they teach you
in Bible Studies.

Everything you've
been taught,

everything you've read,

tells you that what I
just did was wrong.

Didn't feel wrong,
though, did it?

Well--
- Don't answer.

You wanna know
what I see?

I see a beautiful,

sexy, intelligent woman

who's held down
by her convictions.

I wanna free your soul.

How would you do that?

I'm gonna whip you.

I'm gonna lick you

up and down

and spank you.

Please stop.

I'm gonna stroke
your soul

and nibble away
at your emotion.

I have to go.

You'll be back.

They always come back.

Friend.

Close. One more time.
Listen closely.

Friend.

Ffffriend.

Very good.
Good job.

Friend.

[Both]
Okay.

Okay, well,
it's getting late,

and you probably need to
start getting dinner ready.

So...I'll see you later.

Okay.
Okay.

[Girls]
Mmm. So good.

Good job.
Really good.

Hey, where's Kristen?
- Where do you think?

She's with Anastasia.

a*s to a*s, baby.
[All laugh]

Wait, wait, wait.

I think we should thank the
cook for this wonderful meal.

Here's to the best meals
we've had in this house

since...

Well, here's to the best meals
we've ever had in this house.

[Girls]
Yeah, cheers.

I'm tired
of this sh*t.

Now what's wrong?

Michelle's missing, and
neither of you give a sh*t.

f*ck.
Here we go again.

Is that how you would
act if it was me?

No. If it was you,

I probably wouldn't even
notice you were gone.

Well, I'm not just gonna
sit here and do nothing.

She could've been k*lled
by an axe m*rder*r.

Okay, now you're
being paranoid.

I can't-- I can't
believe you guys!

So f*cking
do something, Autumn.

No one's stopping you.

I will.

Right after
this one hit.

Don't let the door
hit you on the way out.

Great.

My two girls are gone
and I'm stuck with you.

Madame Tourettes.

Eat me.
- No, thanks, I already flossed.

It's about time we got
rid of the dead weight.

We have half
a bag of pot,

a bottle of tequila,

and some acid left.

What the f*ck do
we need them for?

We have some acid left?
- Uh, yeah.

We have enough sh*t
to party like rock stars.

You're right.
f*ck her.

f*ck 'em.

Hello?

Okay.
Hi.

Have you seen
my friend Michelle?

Michelle?
She's a girl.

You know, a girl?

f*cking foreigners.

Okay.
[whirring]

Okay what?

For f*ck's sake,
you stupid Hungarian,

will you speak English?
[blender stops]

Michelle?

[screams]

[screaming continues]

[Cook screams]

[Both screaming]

Okay!

[screams]

[squeals]
Shh.

Shh.

[phone rings]

Hey, Mom.

Mom, hold on.

I have a bad connection.
I'm moving to another room.

# [rock on headphones]

Yummy, yummy,
yummy, yummy.

Here you go.
Thank you.

Here's yours.

Oh, I should so be
studying right now.

Let's do this.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

I think I'm starting
to feel dizzy.

Ames, you promised me
we would have fun this weekend.

Do it.

Yeah!

Five.

All right, Bunny.

Okay, please be an easy one.
Please be an easy one.

What actor in The Terminator
said the line, "I'll be back"?

Uh...
- Oh, that's way too easy. Too easy!

Wait, wait, wait. Shut up.
I think I know this one.

Jude Law.

What?

I'm sorry, Bunny, Arnold
Schwarzenegger said it.

Not again.
These are so hard.

My sweet Buns
is so wasted. Here.

I am not, silly goose.

And don't call me Buns.

Okay, come on, Lance,
it's your turn.

My turn.

Lance is rolling,
coming out.

Gonna win.
Six! Yes!

Six.

'Kay. Comedy.

Yes! Comedy. I'm a master
at comedy. Awesome.

Here is the question.

What 1984 movie
had the line,

"I can't believe I gave
my panties to a geek"?

Ha-ha.
It's impossible.

Sixteen Candles.

[Bunny] Is that right?
- Correct.

Oh my God, you suck,
Sir Lance-a-little!

I reek of awesomeness
is what I do.

You reek of something.
- How do you know so much about movies?

Friday and Saturdays,
movie marathon.

That's how.

Loser.

You need
to get out more.

Just a little bit.

You know what you wanted.
- Mm-hmm.

You came in for it, right?
- Yeah.

Good little Christian girl.
- Yeah.

You've been
very naughty, sl*ve.

You must be punished.

Do you hear me?

Yes.

Yes what?

Yes, mistress.

That's right.

And if you
forget it,

I'm gonna take it out
on your a*s.

Yes, Mistress Anastasia.

Every bad girl needs
to learn a lesson,

and you're gonna learn

the consequences
of disobedience.

Mm-hmm.

[gasp]

Oh.

What the hell are
you doing, Bunny?

Nothing. I swear.
I just heard some noises.

Nothing in my room
concerns you, Bunny.

So don't f*cking
come in here again.

[crying]

Please let me go.

I think this was
a mistake.

It's okay.

No one is gonna
bother us again.

Something that
feels this good

can't be bad,
right?

What are you doing?

I'm afraid of the dark.

# [rock]

# Up all night
wasting time #

# We're just tryin'
to feel all right #

# Thinking up
a party's line #

# And you know what
dreams you'll find #

# You better take
a step back #

# 'Cause we're moving on #

# And gone, gone #

# We're going
all the way #

# Yeah #

# I said we're
going all the way #

[smack]
[gasps]

Oh.

Ah!

Oh.

I'm getting
a little hungry.

Right now?

Have you ever had chocolate
syrup licked off of you before?

I don't think that's
a good idea, mistress.

Quiet, sl*ve.

Ah, here it is.

Damn.

I'll be right back.

Please don't
leave me alone.

Quiet. And when
I get back,

I'm gonna give you a tongue-lashing
you won't soon forget.

Wait. I've--

Chug it. Drink it.
[Bunny] -Chug, chug, chug.

[Bunny]
Ew, ew! Oh, gross.

Oh, my God.

Wow, that's
some good sh*t.

What?

I don't think we've
ever heard you curse.

[imitating Bunny]

Don't know me
very well, do you?

Don't know me
very well, do you?

Okay. Horror/Sci-fi.

Oh, I'm great at that.

[burps] I think.
[Girls] - Ew.

What is the complete title

of the fourth
Friday the 13th movie?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I know this!

I know this one!
[Lance] Shh, shh!

I do. I know this.

Shh, shh, shh.
- I know this one!

Wait a minute. I'm thinking.
Wait, wait, I'm thinking.

Come on!

Shut up! Shh.
I'm concentrating. It's--

[Amy] Time's up!
- Wait a minute! Oh!

Friday the 13th:
Final Chapter!

Is that your final answer?

Yes.

Oh, I knew that one!

So, silly Buns--

Wait. Was the fourth one the
one where she's in the kitchen...

Uh-huh.
- ...and she-- she gets hungry,

Yeah. [laughs]
- and she goes down to the kitchen,

and she goes to the refrigerator,
and she opens the door,

Right, right.
- and this head is just staring at her?

[laughs]
[Woman] - Really.

[glass shattering]

I remember! And then-- And
then she turns around, and--

Jason's right there, and of
course he's, like, all bloodied up?

[woman screams]
[woman laughs]

You scared me.

What the hell are you
doing in here, anyways?

Anyhow...do you know where
the chocolate sauce is?

There wasn't any
in the fridge.

Hmm? [chuckles]
- Damn.

That is one...big...
piece of meat.

Is that tomorrow
night's dinner?

Is it, like...
elk or something?

Ew. Beef jerky.

[grunts]
[screams]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[screaming]

[group laughter]

And Jason grabs her
around the neck?

[screams]
[growling]

[grunts, growls]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

[growls, laughing]
[screaming]

And she's trying
to get away,

and just as he's
about to slit her throat,

she knees
right in the nuts!

Oh!

[groans]

And then she's just about
to run out of the kitchen...

[growls]

Wham!

Right between the eyes.
[laughing]

[Lance]
Oh, right there.

[crashing]

[laughter]

[laughing]

Oh, dear.
[chuckles]

Who's next?

# [rock]

Anastasia?

Anastasia, is that you?

# [continues]

What took you
so long?

[volume increases]

I don't-- I don't think

I want to do this anymore.

Ooh. [chuckles]
That's warm.

I like that.

Shh!

Shh!

Ooh.

[laughs]

Uh...

Mmm...

# [rock in distance]

# [continues]

[muffled moans]

[moaning continues]

[muffled screaming]

[screaming continues]

Shh!

[screaming]

[continuous screaming]

[growling]
[knife whirring]

[growling]
[muffled screaming]

Ohh! Ohh!

[screaming]

[shouts]

[shrieking]
[screaming]

[shouting]
Okay!

[echoing]
Okay!

[birds chirping]

Hi.
- Hey.

You know,
you should come

and hang out
with us tonight.

Um...thanks,

but I need to cram for
my midterm on Wednesday.

Well, I mean,

if you need
to take a break,

just stop by.

Can I ask you
a question?

Sure.

[chuckling]
I shouldn't.

Okay.

Well...I read
in one of my classes

that all women
at one time or another

have l*sbian dreams.

l*sbian dreams?

You know...
sexual dreams?

About being
with another woman.

Do you think
that's true?

[chuckles]

I don't know
about all women.

I mean...I have.
[chuckles]

Do you think
that's normal?

I wouldn't worry
about it too much.

[moaning]

[moaning continues]

Hmm?

Hmm?

Ohh...

Oh!
Ohh!

Hey. Good morning, beautiful.

Mmm...

Huh, and to think
you two

almost outdrank me
last night.

[chuckles]

You passed out
at 12:30.

We were up
way past 2.

Oh--
Hey, don't.

You want this?

You want this
over here?

Then right here first.

Yeah, right.

No. Stop it.

Let go. Let it go. Let go.

Do you want
to fight for it?

Not a good idea.

I was featherweight
fight champion

in elementary school.
[laughs] Oh, really.

You box?

Where'd you learn,
PlayStation?

No. PlayStation
learned from me.

All right, Rocky...
I'll fight you for it.

Featherweight fight
champion comin' at you.

Oh, bring it on.

Bring it on, Rocky,
bring it on.

Come on. Come on. You
wanna fight? Come on.

Here it comes. You ready?
Featherweight fight champion. Let's go.

Come on! Let's go!
Are you ready?

Bring it on, Rocky.
You want this? Come on.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Here it comes!

[shouts]

[blow lands]
[Lance screams]

[clattering]

# [whistling]
[blades being sharpened]

[whistling, sharpening continue]

[chuckles]

[cartoon on TV]

[chuckles]

[turns TV off]

I was watching that,
b*tch.

Whatever. You've been watching
what you want all night.

[turns TV on]
What do you think you're doing?

I'm queen of the remote,
f*ck t*rd.

The hell you are!
Give it to me!

You're gonna
break it!

Give it to me!

Are you okay?

Aw, it's no biggie.
I had an injury like this

when I played ball
in high school.

I didn't know
you played baseball.

Bocce ball.

Huh?

Bocce ball.

You know...
lawn bowling?

Forget about it.
It's European.

Well, I'm sorry anyway.

I hope it doesn't
still hurt.

[inhales]

Only when I breathe.

It was a good kick, though.
[chuckles]

You really got off
the ground.

You were, like, wahh!
[chuckles]

[imitates crashing]
Mmm.

[both chuckle]

Um...mmm.

Well, get back
to the books.

We've got lots
to catch up on.

Do you think it would
help if I kissed it?

Medically speaking,
it should have no effect.

Better?

You know, I really
shouldn't have done that.

Oops. [laughs]
Yes, you should've.

Oops.

Well...it's okay.

[stammering]
I get it.

Um...you're just not
ready for a guy like me.

I get it.

And what kind
of girl is ready

for a guy
like you, Lance?

Lots.

Really.
- Yeah.

Who?

Well...um...

well, I don't like
to kiss and tell.

[chuckles]

You are so totally
a virgin.

I am not!
I've had lots!

Whatever.

Virgin.

What'd you get
for problem six?

You wanna have sex?

[coughs]

[screams]

You scared me.

Wow.

Thank you.

I'm not hungry.

Okay.

Sorry.

I have a headache.

I've been studying
all afternoon.

Hmm...

[sighs]

Hmm...

Huh?

Hmm?

Hmm.

[chuckling]
Hmm.

Hmm...

Thank you.
You are so thoughtful.

I...am...cook.

[chuckles]

Hmm?

[chuckles]

[Man on TV]
Get the r*fles!

We have to save
the beaches!

No! No! Go back there!
[g*nshots]

[grunts]

I need a bath.

[TV continues, indistinct]

Make it a bubble bath.

I'll be right in.

Who invited
you?

[TV chatter]
[g*nshots]

# [R & B]

[Male vocalist]
# Mmm, yeah #

# All right #

# Gonna call you #

# Tonight #

# Come on over
to my place, baby #

# Ooh, girl, tonight #

# I'm gonna hold you tight #

# I'm gonna slow-dance #

# Dance all night #

# I'm gonna
cook you dinner #

# So kick off your shoes #

# Because tonight,
sweet baby #

# I'm over the moon #

# 'Cause when
I'm makin' love to you #

# It's like
the first time #

# And when you're
makin' love to me #

# It's like
the last time #

# I never felt
like this before #

# The way
I feel right now #

# Is when I'm makin'
love to you #

# It's like the first time,
the last time #

# Sweet lovin' #

# Uh, that's what
you give me #

[TV chatter, indistinct]

# And it's the pleasure #

# Girl, you thrill me #

# Ooh, now we #

# Uh, we've been together #

# And it's time #

# Time you move on in #

# 'Cause when
I'm makin' love to you #

# It's like
the first time #

# And when you're
makin' love to me #

# It's like
the last time #

# I never felt
like this before #

# The way I feel
right now #

No stopping!
- Oh, my God!

Ohh! Ohh!

Lance, come on!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, Lance!

"Oh, Lance!
It's real, Lance!"

Oh, baby!

Oh, Lance! Aah!
- Baby!

Lance, Lance, Lance!

Way to go, Frank!

What? Who the hell
is Frank??

Don't worry
about it, baby.

Just relax and let
Frank do the drivin'.

Okay?
- Okay.

Oh, Frank!
- "Go, Frank, yes!"

Frank!

# [score on TV]

[giggling]

[Man on TV]
Let his fate be a lesson to all of you.

Zarkov's next move will
be to land in Phrygia,

an attempt
to secure Polaroit!

But Your Majesty...

[giggling]

...could withstand
and survive

the death-dealing
cold there.

[giggling louder]

They have determined
to secure Polaroit.

You can rest assured
that Dr. Zarkov

has devised some means

of combating
the temperature.

[woman moaning]

You're to take a b*mber
and fly over over--

[giggling]

[water splashing]
[moaning]

Amy...

# 'Cause when I'm
making love to you #

# It's like the first time,
the best time #

Amy!

# Two stars passing
in the night #

Oh, Amy!

# Winter always
turns to spring #

# Tonight I give you
this ring #

# You should know by now #

# That I'm thinking
about you, baby #

# Oh, I could tell #

# By the look in your eye #

# That you feel
the same way that I do #

Oh, Pam.

I'm all warmed
up for y--

[gasps]

[screaming]

[giggling]

[continues giggling]

[laughing]

# [rock]

Listen, Frank, you
almost ready to go again?

Huh?

Hey, listen.

This time go easy
on the girl.

All right, we don't want
to damage the goods.

Okay?

Huh?

Hey, Buns?

Listen, I'm gonna
go have a sandwich!

All right?
I gotta recharge.

I need some fuel!

You know?

[chuckling]

# [action score on TV]

[muttering]
You're takin' my business.

[Man on TV]
Flash, where'd you get the pink stone

from that ledge?

[Flash]
It's that rock I shoved into my--

[continues indistinct]

I love this movie!
It's a classic!

[groaning]

[distant groaning]

[door creaking]

[laughing]

[laughing]
This is great!

Hey, psst, Pam.

Pam.

[laughing]

This is funny.

[giggles]

[Man on TV]
The king has brought us all freedom

because of what
Flash has done!

[both giggling]

Now! Hey, Buns, I just
got caught up in the movie.

Wait, this is
the best part.

Okay, okay, look, look!
Here it comes!

[screams]

Okay.

You son of a b*tch,
get off me!

You son of a b*tch,
get off me!

Get off me.

No, no!

[Man on TV]
Chance here to get away.

[giggling]

[Man on TV]
What's he saying?

[Flash]
He's thanking you for saving him.

[Bunny]
I'll be right there, stud muffin.

[giggling]

Some people calls
it a sling blade.

I calls it
a kaiser blade.

Shh.

[giggling]

Rocky, I'm back now!

Rocky?

Lance?

Lance!

Lance.

Lance!

Quit f*cking around!

Lance?

Lance?

Ew.

Lance?

[distant whirring]

Lance?

[whirring stops]

Lance, are you
down there?

[whirring continues]

Lance?

[whirring]

Hi.

Hi, excuse me.

Excuse me!

Hi.

Have you seen Lance?

[screaming]

[continued screaming]

Oh, my God!
Amy! Amy!

Amy! Amy!

We gotta get the
f*ck out of this sh*t.

[growling]

[whimpering]

Oh, my God!
No!

Oh, God!
[screaming]

Oh, my God!

Oh, f*ck, f*ck.

[whimpering]

[screaming]

[moaning]

[distant whirring]

[whirring stops]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

[moaning]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

[whirring continues]

[whirring stops]

Hello?

[stairs creaking]

Hello?

Hello?

[door clanging]

[screaming]

[continued screaming]

Oh, my God!
Bunny!

Bunny, you're alive!

Bunny?

[helicopter hovering]

[police sirens wailing]

[boards clattering]

Excuse me.

That's in the house.

Sir!
Just a minute.

I don't want any
of those girls--

Detective, you got
to see this.

Not now, I'm busy.

But we found another body.

It's the cook, sir.

The cook?

You know what to do.


Jimmy,

and you know what
I've learned?

Uh, what, sir?

Doughnuts always go better
with a good cup of joe.

You know what
else I've learned?

No, what?

You want to score extra points
with the detective in charge,

next time you better
remember the coffee, okay?

I like it black.

Yes, sir.
What do you got?

We found these in the trunk
right next to the body.

We have a visa, work papers,

and a passport
from Hungary.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

The Hungary cook?
Get it?

That's not funny,
Jimmy.

Sorry, sir.

The Ethiopian cook,

now that would be funny.

Yes, sir.

We also found this.

It's an English/Hungarian
dictionary.

We'll know more after
we run some tests,

but it appears the body
has been in this trunk

for about six months.

Oh, whoa!

That's what
I'm talking about.

All right,
let's take a look.

[chuckles]
That was a bad idea.

Nice.
If anybody needs me,

I'll be in my car,
throwing up.

You want a bite?

[Man]
Detective!

We've got a live
one over here!

[monitor beeping]

So what do you say you and
I get together again tonight?

Yeah.
- Hey, Doc?

How's she doing?
Can I talk to her?

Well, she's stable,
but I don't think

you're gonna get much
out of her tonight.

All right.

I'd like to come by
in the morning,

though,
with a sketch artist,

and try to get an I.D.
on this Cook character.

Sure.

She should be lucid
enough by then.

Good night.

[Man]
Take care.

[Man]
Miss...

Miss, wake up,
it's time for dinner.

I'm not hungry.

You really need
to eat something.

No.

Why don't you just wake
up and say ah...Buns?

I've cooked up something
very special for you.

Just for you, Buns.

Okay!

[laughing]

[laughter echoing]

# [rock]

# You're walking down
a crowded street #

# No one looks the same #

# But we still reserve
our right to hate #

# Where no one walks
the same #

# No one talks
the same #

# 'Cause they
aren't like you #

# Well, I have
some news for you #

# This ain't no fun house #

[men cheering]

Go! Go! Go!

Is somebody gonna get that?

Go, pledge!

Five, four, three, two--

[crowd cheering on TV]

Buona sera!

Guys, the cook!

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Oh, sh*t.

[crew laughing, clapping]

Sorry.

[slate clacks]

[Man]
It's a buzzing.

It's the lighter.

I burnt my hair.

[gasps]

[slate clacks]

Buona sera,
huh!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

[screams]

[crashing]

[Woman]
Are you okay?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[door opening]

Freund.

Went down
after the basement.

[laughing]

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

It's sick.

Like I haven't
caught you.

Sorry!
I'm so sorry!

What are you doing
in my room?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

What the f*ck's the
name of that artist?

[crew] Rodin!
f*ck!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[Man]
Okay.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[slate clacks]

Buona sera!

[Man]
Quiet on the set!

f*ck!
[Woman] Still rolling.

Some people calls
it a kaiser blade,

I call it--

f*ck! Which--
What is it?

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera.

[slate clacks]

Buona sera,
mother f*ck!

[crew laughing]

[Man]
All right.

Here we go,
one more!

Here we go.

# I ain't your sinner,
little girl #

# You ain't b*tch enough #

# Stop wasting
your time with me #

# I'm not your key
to the world #

# Wasting your time #

# You gotta believe me #

# I'm not your b*tch
little girl #

# Take a hike you know
get the f*ck out of here #

# Your mind is bending #

# Burning down inside #

# You're fading away #

# Like a twisted lie #

# Going down on the blow #

# Running down the door #

# You ain't the one #

# I like some more #

f*ck-a you!

[crew laughing]

[Man]
That's great!