02x06 - Impressions

[bunniefuu]

What we are about to say will
turn your world upside down.

It will shatter and shaken
your preconceived notions

Of understandings.

I am prepared to hear the thing.

Just so you know,
it's very disturbing.

It's very big.

What is?

What you will hear.

What we think is that you may
not be ready for the hearing

Jason: of the thing.

Oh, no, you got——i think i—...

Whoa, as predicted

In the prophecy rocks.

Ye are the starboy.

This is your destiny and things.

Huh.

Told ya.

Pretty big, huh?

Brendon: oh, yeah.

That's a real kicker.

I'm the starboy?

Melissa: yes.

Whoa.

I think I need to be alone
to process this

To a point
of understandingness.

I don't blame you.

As you wish.

Thank you.

♪ Alone ♪

♪ He wants to be alone
to process this ♪

♪ To a point
of understanding ♪

♪ He wants to be alone
he wants to be alone ♪

You know, I'm going to——i'm
going to stop you right there.

Um, okay.

That's great but, uh, huh,
you know, the dialogue

Covers a lot of that whole idea,
so, you know, maybe we

Don't need to re—explain it
in lyrics, you know.

Oh, right, no, that——
that makes sense, yeah.

Maybe if it were more, like,
about starboy and,

And who he is, you know.

Like, uh, we, can you
do something with that?

Um, uh, yeah.

Okay, great.
I'm going to rewind the tape.

♪ Starboy ♪

♪ He knows it now
he's not what he ain't ♪

♪ Starboy ♪

♪ He's the captain
of outer space ♪

Okay, whoa.
Stop. Stop.

Um, he isn't the captain
of outer space.

He isn't?

No, no, no, you must've,
uh, jumped ahead, because—...

Mm, so, um, huh, really?

Uh, no.

The captain of outer space
is another character

That we meet later.

Oh, see, I didn't know that.

Wh—how could you have?

You see, this is all
you've seen so far, so—...

Okay, I think we're
getting closer to this.

I liked the last thing you did
but let's play around

Just a little.

Brendon, stop.
I think I got it.

Please.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry, I thought
I had something there.

No, you know, I liked where you
were going, though,

Maybe if it were—...

Hey, uh, why can't starboy
be the captain of outer space?

Why?
Wh—because he isn't.

They're two separate characters.

Yeah, but, man,
you could save a lot of time

If they were the same person.

Look, but you haven't
even the entire movie yet.

You've, you've only
seen this one scene.

If I make them the same person,
we've got no story.

Well, it would make
for a good surprise ending.

You should consider that.

Yeah, I'd be really surprised
by that.

No, you wouldn't——you—...

Because you know about it now,
because you're in on it.

It may be worth exploring,
that's all I'm saying.

Okay, look, we've already shot
all principle photography here,
okay.

We've, we have got a lot
to film, most of the actors

Are probably working on
different projects as we speak.

This is post—production.

Yes, there's really no need
to have such an attitude.

Brendon: what?

We're trying to give you
a gift, man.

Wait, help me out here—...

Guys, shut up!

Thank you, uh,
now where were we?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey yourself.

Hey myself now?
In front of them?

Brendon: I'm——

I, oooh.
How are ya?

I haven't seen you since
uh, uh, the thing.

How, how, how are you?

I'm good.
I just left my stupid bag here.

I'm just picking it up.

Yeah.

Hey, look, I'm glad you're here
because I was thinking

And we should do something
sometime, I was thinking.

Oh, is that so?

Um, yeah, I guess.
I guess so.

Well, what did you have in mind?

Um, well, nothing, I w——nothing.

Nothing?

That sounds like fun, nothing.

Not, not, not nothing.
Something. Something.

Like what?

I don't know, stuff
we would enjoy as a team.

A team?

No, no, no,
not like a softball team,

Brendon: like a sack race team,
or a two—person,

Like ping—pong.

Does that make sense?
No?

No.

Brendon: okay, well, uh——

Look, I can't stay but—...

Brendon: okay.

Call me if you think
of anything.

Okay, I will.
Okay.

Look, brendon, I talked
to the band and they're willing

To split the difference, okay?

Okay, how do you feel
about starboy being related

To the captain of outer space?

Dwayne: don't answer.

Don't answer right now;
just think about it.

Excuse me, are you here for—-

Yes, but I don't really
test well.

Well, uh, that's not important.

I appreciate you
saying that, but—...

No, it, uh, gives us an idea
of where we can place you.

How's your typing?

Fine. How's yours?

Um, why are so many people here?

Jim: well, the job market's
tough, you know.

But between you and me
the guys that make the decisions

Around here only care
about typing.

And yours is fine, right?

Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you for asking,
it's, uh—...

Hey, I'll be around afterwards
if you want to chat, hmm?

Thinking: oh! Where's the "m"?

There's, there's no "m"
on this type——oh, there it is.

Uh, oh——

God! Uh——

Oh! Ah!

All right! Ah!

Oh, well, well.
Hello again.

Uh, how did you do?

Oh, you know, uh—...

May I have your test then?

Yes.

Well, uh, can you just
hand it to me?

Paula: actually, you know what?

Jim: whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Uh, whoa!

What's that?

I'd like to reschedule the test.

Uh, why?

Due to personal,
uh, female things.

Oh. Oh, my gosh,
uh, female things.

I'm sorry.
Uh, i, I did not know.

I had no idea.
That's not your fault.

It happens.
It's part of being a woman.

But you know what, it just
makes me so mad sometimes.

I mean, I'm here and I'm trying
to take this test,

Which is important, and I'm just
a major disappointment to myself

And you and the world
of temporary placement, right?

Yeah, right.

Well, look um, of course.

Oh, god, thank you.

This is a fantastic club, jason.

Melissa: it's really nice.

Brendon: it's really nice.

I didn't build it.

Yeah.

Thanks for having us.

Yeah, thank you.
I appreciate it.

Well, no problem.

You know, people who have
should give.

Brendon: we appreciate it.

Yeah, it's not
like I'm stuck up.

Brendon: no.

Jason: it's just that
my family happens

To belong to country clubs
and you guys don't.

Yeah.

Jason: but I can
definitely get you in,

You know, on special occasions.

Like today.

Melissa: thanks.

Well, we totally
appreciate it, jason.

It's really nice of you.

So, you guys enjoy yourselves.

Thank you.

Hey, dr. Leibowitz.
How are you?

So, brendon, how's the um,
starboy thing going?

Well, it's a borderline
post—production mutiny.

There's problems with the music?

Brendon: no, no—-

The problem is
he ran into cynthia.

Oh, oh, I see.

Yeah, no, but, i, you know,
I'm supposed to call her

If I can think of anything to do
but I can't think of anything.

Brendon?

I'm sorry, could you put a towel
on your chair,

It's just club policy.

I didn't, I didn't—...

Jason: yeah, okay.
Brendon: I'm sorry.

It's just that it's not, uh,
hygienic sitting on the—...

Three grilled cheeses?

Yeah, I'm sorry, uh,
are you new here?

Yes, sir. Why?

Brendon: oh, no reason.

Just usually it doesn't take
a half hour to get our food.

I see.
All right?

Jason: all right.

Jason, you're being rude.

Melissa, I think I know
what I'm doing;

It's my country club.

Look, here's
an old trick, right.

Okay.

Tell her you're taking her out
to the opera.

Right.

Alright, you'll meet her
somewhere.

Sure.

But oh, no,
I forgot the tickets.

They must be back at my place.

Right.

Alright, you following?

Yes.

Alright, so now you got her back
at your place, right?

Right.

And while you're
looking for the tickets—-

Mm—hmm.

You open a bottle of wine.

Or, in your case, probably beer.

Mcguirk: anyway, you have
a couple drinks, right?

Yes.

And then you're like, well,
we got to go to the opera,

But oh, no, I'm feeling
a little tipsy—...

Sure.

From the wine, so we can't
possibly go to the opera.

Yeah——drink——yeah.

All right?

Yeah, right.

Then you're there
in your place with the girl.

Right.

It's a classic.

Yeah, you know,
in that scenario,

You've lured her
into that thing with opera,

Then you don't give her
the opera.

Now wouldn't, theoretically,
she be disappointed?

Of course.

That's why you
reschedule the opera.

Wait, and then what?
Lose the tickets again?

Yeah.

Man, you sure know a lot
about women, coach.

Brendon, you know I've been
studying them for a long time.

Well, do you
have a girlfriend currently?

Well, it's kind of tough
in this town, brendon,

You know?

Because this particular town
happens to be dry.

Oh.

Why?

Because all the smart,
pretty girls, you know,

Move away from crappy
two—bit towns like this, right?

Sure.

Go on and live
their great lives.

Right.

And have great success.

Sure.

While people, like me,
who have some integrity

And loyalty,
stick with this time.

Right.

Fighting the good fight,
brendon.

Um...

In a way, brendon, I am a hero.

Wow, really?

Yeah.

Like a, as far as
like a representative—...

I'm like sexless john glenn.

Thanks for the advice.

All right.

Look, um, if you want
to impress cynthia, right—...

Yeah.

Why don't you pretend to be me
and use the country club

For a day?

Oh, no, see, i, I don't
think that's a good idea.

Jason: brendon, why not?
It's perfect.

You get to use the pool.

Brendon: yeah.

Uh, you get to use
the spa area—...

Yeah, but—...

Free food on the charge account.

Brendon: yeah——

That would impress
any lady I know.

See, i, I don't, I don't
like the idea

Of spending your family's money
without any of them

Actually being there.

That would, that's, it's—...

Brendon, brendon, brendon.
Who cares?

They'll never know.

Wh—what if they ask me things
about you I don't know, like—...

Brendon, so what?

I don't even know
your parents' names.

What are your parents' names?

Um, hold on, I have it
in my wallet.

Uh, hello, is this allison?

Allison: speaking.

You'll never believe
who this is.

Allison: I'm sorry,
I can't hear you. Hold on.

Shut up!

I'm sorry, who is this?

Uh, john mcguirk,
from high school?

Allison: john mcguirk.

Can you believe it?

Allison: oh, yeah, how are you?

I'm actually great.

Allison: I'm sorry, john,
hold on.

Did you finish your oatmeal?

First kid: I hate oatmeal!

Allison: well,
that's tough, isn't it?

You don't finish your dinner,
you don't go outside and play.

Ah, you guys are having oatmeal
for dinner, huh?

Second kid: mom, cathy's
putting the oatmeal
down the sink!

Allison: she's what?

I'm sorry, john,
can you hold on?

Uh, yeah.

Allison: the two of you
sit down and shut up!

Hello? Hello?
Allison? Hello?

Man: hello?

Hello?

Man: oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize someone
was already on the line.

Yeah, I am on the line.

Man: okay. Allison?

Allison: sorry.
Hello, sweetheart?

Yeah, right here.

Man: I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Allison: yes, hi.

Man: hi, listen,
if you're going out——

Sorry, I don't mean
to interrupt, allison, but, um,

I was wondering if you
wanted to, uh, maybe go out

On a date friday night.

Allison?

Mom, can you pass the, uh,
typewriter, please?

Brendon, you should
consider yourself lucky

You don't have
a paralyzing test anxiety.

Must've skipped a generation.

Who says I don't, you know?

And I thought I was finished
taking tests, you know?

Beyond a certain age I wouldn't
have to take tests anymore,

But wrong.

Yeah—-

And I can type, brendon,
that's not the issue here.

See, can we, can we, uh,
talk about me now?

In fact,
I'm a fantastic typist.

Listen to this.

Yeah.

You hear that, brendon?

That's me, typing
very very quickly.

Yeah, I know.

Just not when the clock
is ticking,

You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, see, mom,
you never answered me

On my thing, though, you know.

The country club.

Yes, I would like
to get your opinion on that

If you have some time.

I think it's adorable.
You're eight.

You know, look, don't take it
so seriously, brendon.

Go to the country club.

Don't take it so seriously?
From you?

You, you, you can get away
with saying that

And you're typing at the table—-

One moment, please.

Brendon: that's it, you know—-

Okay. Good.

You know, forget this.

I, i, I'm——
I've made up my mind.

I'm, I just made up my mind;
I'm going do it.

Brendon.

Case closed.

No, you know what,
listen to me for a minute.

Because i, I've, I want
to tell you the secret here.

Okay.

This is very important.

The trick is—...

Yeah.

I think, um, keep your wrists
straight at all times.

Paula: that's how you will
avoid carpal—tunnel syndrome.

This is the knowledge I pass
unto thee.

Go forth and conquer.

Brendon: one second, mom.

Hello?
Is, uh, cynthia there?

Mcguirk: brendon, there's
nothing wrong with lying
to women.

Brendon: right.

Right?
Or the government.

Brendon: right.

Or your parents.

Brendon: sure.

Or god.

Brendon: right.

All right?

Yeah, but what if they
figure out that you're a liar,

You know?

What, women?

Sure.

Then who needs them.
Lie to men.

Wh—what?

Wait a minute,
what do you mean by that?

Alright, look, brendon,
why do we this?

Why do we do——i don't——
what do you mean?

Why do we play this crazy game
that we play?

See, I don't know.

You know, why do we
open ourselves up

To, to make ourselves vulnerable
to women?

I don't know.

Look, the point is, brendon,
this girl, sylvia—-

Cynthia.

As long as she believes that
you belong in this country club,

Then there isn't a problem.

Yeah, see, but what if
she finds out?

Well, then, you know,
brendon, who cares?

You're eight.

Right.

Why put yourself through this?

You have your entire life
to be miserable.

Well, yeah.

Hold on.
Hello?

Lorraine: john mcguirk?

You got him.

Lorraine:
it's lorraine christensen.
I got your message.

My god, how long has it been?

Wow, lorraine, how are you?

Lorraine: uh, you're
breaking up, john, but listen.

I'm dying to get together
with you.

Oh, great.

Lorraine: and I'd love to hear
more about your internet startup

That's going public.

Oh, r—right.
Right, yeah.

Lorraine: I want
some stock tips.

Yeah. Ha ha.

Lorraine: kidding. Look——

Mcguirk: that's funny.

Lorraine: ——congratulations
on losing all that weight,
by the way.

And um, before I forget
you have to tell me

When your next competition is.

Oh, i, I will, definitely.

Which competition, by the way?

Lorraine:
the bodybuilding competition.

Oh, right, right, yeah.

Lorraine: look, look,
I gotta run.

But friday at seven
sounds great.

I haven't been to the opera
in years, I'm so excited.

I'll see you then.

Brendon: uh, who was that?

Nothing.

What was I talking about?

Well, well, well, hello again.

Paula: hello.

Here to take the test again?

Yes, I am.

Well, I'll bet you do great
this time, you know what I mean?

Okay. Uh, thank you then, sir.

My pleasure.

You're going down, butthead!

No!

Hey, isn't this great?

Why are we hanging out
at the kiddie pool?

Why?

Be—be—because we,
because we blend in with—-

It, it, it's fun
being a kid, you know.

Hey, look, look, huh?

Don't splash me please.

Sorry.
Uh, sorry.

Are you not having fun then?

Cynthia: no.

Oh.

It's, it's, this is a fancy club
and we're here, you know?

Wh—wh—what?
You want to do something else?

We can.

I don't know.

Well, you want to go
to the adult pool?

You want to go there?
We can.

No, I'm sick of swimming.

Sick already?

You didn't even
get your hair wet.

Cannonball!

Cannonball!

Oh, what do you do, huh?
Cannonball.

Well, are you hungry?

Because if you like, you know,
we could, uh—...

I guess I could eat.

Okay, because I could charge it
to my account and uh, it's—...

Cynthia: okay.

I don't know if you've
ever charged anything

To an account before but it's,
it's, it's a true luxury.

Well, is there a menu?

Do you like grilled cheese?

Sure, but I'd like to see
what else they have.

Hey, let's not complicate things
with the waiter, because,

You know, he's slow as it is
and then, you know,

He'd have to make
an additional trip for the menu

And we could be here
all day and—-

But——
waiter!

Hands paralyzed.
Oh, no.

Oh, why the hell did I tell her
I was a bodybuilder?

I should've told her I was fat.

Hi, uh, two grilled cheeses,
please, for myself and for her

And, uh, two sodas,
and that's it and that'll be all

And anything else?

No.

Nope, there it is
and there you go.

Okay. Your account number?

Uh, yes, of course.
One second.

5234.

5234.

Yeah, why?

Why what?

What?

5234.

Yeah, why?

Why what?

Uh, the 5234.

Yes?

Why?

Why what?

Why not?

Well, then.

I don't know.

Two grilled cheeses.

Thank you.

Brendon, why are you shaking?

No reason.

So, uh, how did we do?

Much better.
Thank you, sir.

Hmm?
Wait a minute!

Oh, boy.

5234, Right?

Eh, yes, is there, why?
Why?

Are you jason?

Yep.
Yes, yes I am.

Waiter: you're jason?

Yes, i, yes I am.

Brendon, what's going on?

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry,
this will just take a minute.

Brendon?

Yes?

What happened to jason?

What?
Uh, nothing.

No, no, no, I'm sorry,
but a second ago—-

Excuse me, sir, do you
have any idea who my father is?

No.

No?
Well, how about my mother?

Club patron: waiter!

Consider yourself lucky.

Um, what happened, brendon?

Oh, nothing.

You just, sometimes, you know,
you can't get good service,

You gotta complain, you know,
the squeaky wheel.

Oh.

You know.

Brendon: oh, whoops.

You should send that back.

Nah, it's probably fine,
it's just i, I don't want

Brendon: to bother
the waiter again, you know.

Eww, it looks like
it fell in a puddle.

Oh, don't worry,
it's, it's, you know.

Mcguirk: oh my god,
she's gorgeous. Great.

Why couldn't she have been
a fat hag, like me?

Hey, look, let's, uh,
get out of here, and, uh,

This place sucks anyway.

Let's go to the park
or something.

Yeah, no, I would but I
told dwayne and those guys

That I'd meet them later, so...

Oh, okay, well, that's fine,
I mean, let's, uh,

Let's just go then
and we'll meet them.

Cynthia: oh, no, brendon.

I told them to meet me here.

Oh.

I hope that wasn't a problem.

Excuse me, these people
friends of yours?

Yes.

Can you come with me please?

I'd rather not.

Come with me.

You got it.

You turned in your typing
test model, paula.

Jim: why?

I don't know.

I don't test well, okay?

I just, I don't—...

Oh, paula.
I don't test well.

Life is a test.
Life is a test.

I was paralyzed
with fear though.

But to cheat on your test.

I'm so disappointed in you.

I just, I'm speechless.

I can't even talk to you
right now.

Let, let me take over, jim.

Cheating on your test, paula?

What are you——how do you
suggest we deal with you, huh?

Look, I just, i—...

Manager: n—n—n—no——
i—i—i don't know—...

Da—da—da—da—da—da—da—da—da.
Life is a test, paula.

Paula: yeah, he just said that.

Yeah, a test of morals.

And you know, today,
well, you've——paula?

I'm, I'm sorry, jim.

I can't get through to her.
She's too far gone.

I know.

Too far gone?

Yeah.

Well, look, you morons.

Morons?

You guys are morons.

Morons, paula?
Morons?

I can't believe I was
attracted to you.

Me too.

What?

Oh, okay, now this
is getting weird, all right?

And you——i've never even
seen you before

So that's extra weird,
all right?

Look, kid, we know
you're not a member.

N—n—n—n—n—not a member,
i, i, I just—...

Don't treat us like idiots.
You're not a member.

Not a member, yet.

Club patron: what were you
thinking, huh?

Uh, okay, okay.

Look, ah, I was trying
to impress this girl.

Which one?

Waiter: wait, wait, wait.

You were trying
to impress a girl by lying?

Look, buddy, you can't go around
lying to people your whole life.

Okay.

Waiter: you know, we're,
we're going to have to call
your mother.

Okay, only if I can call yours.

Hey, we're calling your mother
and that's final.

Great.

Tell her we're out of milk
while you're at it.

Hey, this isn't funny.

Not yet, because we're
too close to it.

Two weeks, it'll be hilarious.

Listen, you little smart aleck.

Aleck?
I'm not aleck.

You, you're looking for aleck,
you got the wrong kid.

I got news for you, chief.
I'm a waiter.

I don't need to take this.

My fallen angel,
how are we supposed to—-

Hello?

Hey, mom, what's happening?

Nothing.
Where are you?

Country club.

Getting kicked out
for impersonating a member.

Brendon.

Hey, how'd the typing test go?

Good.
It went well.

Good. Good.

Mom, these guys want to talk
to you.

Really?

Could you tell them I'm busy
or something?

Brendon: oh, I don't think so.

These guys take themselves
pretty seriously.

Paula: yeah, so do these guys.

Yeah, what?

Nothing.

But, uh, everything,
everything went well?

Fantastic.

You want to go out
to eat tonight?

Can we get pizza?

Perfect.

Hey, lorraine.

Yeah?

Hey, it's me, john mcguirk.

Oh, bu——how are you?

Mcguirk: I know, I know
what you're thinking:

Uh, you know, who's this guy?

Lorraine: what?

I can explain.
I, uh, I lied.

Uh, yeah.

I, i, uh, what, what's going on?

Well, I mean, everything
I told you, um, was a lie.

I'm a liar.

Lorraine: I don't get—-

Lorraine!

What?

Look, I was embarrassed
about who I was

And I'm still embarrassed.

You know, I'm not going
to lie anymore,

I want you to know who I am,

You know, who the guy
standing in front of you is.

I, I'm, uh,
I'm a soccer coach for kids.

That's all.

And I'll understand if you
don't want to, uh,

Go through with the date,

But we might still
enjoy each other's company

And have a fantastic evening
talking about soccer.

I even went through
and bought the tickets

To the opera, see?

The ball's in your court.

Lorraine: taxi!

So it's totally up to you.

All right, I got two.

Two to sell!

What I'm about to say
to both of you

Is going to turn your two worlds
upside down.

Tell us, please.

Melissa: you, starboy,
and you, captain of outer space,

You guys are brothers.

I'll need a moment
to process this.

Me too.

Okay.

Well, uh,
were you guys surprised?

Hmm, I'm not so fond of
the execution of the surprise.

I saw it coming.

Yeah, so did i.

Keyboardist:
it's pretty derivative.

You gotta have it be unexpected,
you know what I mean?

Drummer: to be surprising.

Keyboardist: less derivative.

Cynthia!
I am so sorry.

Well, that's nice.

Do you know
how embarrassing it was

Getting kicked out of that club?

Yes, I think I do.

Um, look, look, I would like
to make it up to you.

No, I don't know if I want
to spend all my time

With a kid who goes around
lying all the time.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I don't lie all the time.

I just do it
when I feel it's important,

You know, I just—...

Good—bye, brendon.

Huh.
Probably get her some flowers.

Brendon: that'll, uh,
you know, women love flowers.

My mom loves flowers, you know.

Florists love flowers.

No, no, I know how
to solve this problem.

One word.

Brendon: pinecone birdfeeder.

That'll show her my sensitive,
bird—feeding side and yeah,

Well, this is, nothing
irreparable has happened here.

This can be fixed,
this can be fixed.

♪ He wants to be alone
so he can process this ♪

♪ To a point
of understandingness ♪

♪ Starboy ♪

♪ That's who he is,
that's not who he ain't ♪

♪ Starboy ♪

♪ He knows it now
and now it's the truth ♪

♪ The captain of outer space
that is his brother ♪

♪ Uh—huh ♪

♪ The captain of outer space
he knows it's true ♪

♪ Uh—huh ♪

♪ Alone ♪