02x12 - Pizza Club

[bunniefuu]

Brendon:
did you have fun today,
little melulu?

Yeah, it was great.

Good, that makes me
feel good in here.

Yeah.

We're glad you had fun today,
little melulu.

You make us proud.

Well, shucks, you two guys
are the nicest escaped convicts

That I ever did meet.

Aw, that's a very nice
thing to say.

Little melulu?
Melulu: uh—huh?

Well, we'd like
to talk to you.

Yeah, we would.

Brendon:
do you know why we're here
spending time with you?

Um, because.

No, little melulu,
that's not why.

Jason:
little melulu, the reason is
we're your father.

You are?

Yes, little melulu. Yes.

Are you also my mother?

No, little melulu,
but we did know her.

You see, your father
and I fell in love with her

On the same night.

In the same room.

In the same bed.

At the same time.

Brendon:
so you see there's
no actual medical way

Of knowing which one of us
is actually the father.

But, oh, we both
love you so much.

And oh, boy. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, here we go.

Here it comes.
Here comes the waterworks.

That's okay.
I'm sorry.

Cry it out.
Oh, thank you.

Anyway, little melulu,
next thing we know

We get thrown in jail
for a crime we may

Or may not have done.

But then we heard that you
were alive, so we broke out.

That's why we're—...

And I am your mother.
——Here.

What are you——why,
uh, why are you here?

Thou hast a telephone
call, sire.

Brendon:
uh, canst that
not waitish?

Impossible, sire.
Tis thine father.

Ugh, everyone, uh, waiteth here
for a secondish.

A weird family.

Hey, dad, I'm right in
the middle of a movie.

Got to do this really fast.
Oh, great.

What's the movie about?

Uh, it's kind of a "my two
dads" meets "the fugitive"

Kind of a deal.

Nobody's tried that yet.

Who's in it?

I got me, I got melissa,
I got jason.

Jason?
Brendon: yeah.

Wow, how did you get him?

I got him in a multi
picture deal so,

You know, he's, uh—...

Andrew: how many films?

Thirty—four thousand.

Wow, that's, uh,
wow, really.

Yeah, he should have
really had a lawyer take

A look at it, you know?

I would have, yeah.
Yeah.

So what's up?

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, I was just calling
to see if we're on

For the pizza club meeting
tomorrow night.

Okay, okay.
Let me take a look here.

Brendon: oh, yeah.
Yeah, we're on for that.

Good.

Hey, how would you like to push
that up an hour earlier?

Say, two o' clock?
Two o' clock, eastern standard?

Actually, central mountain.
Central mountain?

Yeah.
Okay.

I'll have to move some
stuff around.

What's going on here?

Nothing.

Mom, what is going on?

Nothing. Nothing.
I have to go.

That's a wrap.

Okay, let's just jump in
and we'll get

The scene in the can,
all right.

Places, uh, wait.
Music, dwayne.

What's happening here?
What's going on?

I've got to split.

Dwayne, no. We need you.

The score is crucial
to the film.

The actors need to hear it
in order to act for the movie.

My band's in "the battle
of the bands" and I've got

To go rehearse.

Whoa, I don't want
others to hear this,

But I'm afraid that you're
in danger of spreading

Yourself thin, creatively.

This is important
to me. Okay.

Dwayne:
I need you to understand that.

Okay, all right, all right.
I can respect that.

But do you have to leave now?
I mean, who's waiting for you?

The band, uh, me, cynthia.

I'll do it.

You'll do——you'll do what?

I'll make a documentary
of your band as it battles

Its way to the top
of the thing.

Uh, I don't know.

Every band has one
of these things, dwayne.

You have to have
a band documentary.

Oh.

Hello, cynthia.
Haven't seen you for a while.

Hello, cynthia.
Haven't seen you in a while.

Coach, I have to
leave early today.

Well, leave early
then, brendon.

Okay. Thank you.

What, you don't care
about soccer anymore?

What? No.

I have just to——i have
to go, I got a—...

You got a note?

Here's a note.

Do you have a written
note, brendon?

No, I don't have
a written note.

Well, then technically, it's
ill*gal for me to let you leave.

Well, then I'll bring one
tomorrow.

It's no big deal.

Oh, write one up now.

All right. Hold on.

"Please allow brendon small
to leave immediately."

Alright.
Alright.

Now attach a little
something to that.

What do you mean,
like a c note?

No, just a five.
Brendon: five, okay.

What do you——why you
got to leave anyway?

I should probably
know, right?

I got a pizza club
meeting with my dad.

Pizza club.

Yeah, it's a club that
me and my dad started

'Cause we're fond of pizza.

It's a club?
Yeah, yeah.

Wow, that sounds
so stupid.
Yeah.

I like pizza, brendon.
Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't
go join a club.

Right.
But I mean, I love pizza.

Yeah, it's awesome.

The cheese.
Brendon: yeah.

Sauce——are you kidding me?

Oh, man.

It's so good.

I'm saying I like pizza,
brendon, and you like it.

Yeah.

And you have a club.

Oh, well, you should start
a pizza club, too.

Well, why would
I start my own?

I mean, you already
got one going.

I should just join yours.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

Um, no. This is a——this is
a father—son pizza club.

So you're saying I don't
belong in your club?

I guess so.

You have a private club
that excludes people, huh?

Brendon: I guess.

There's a word
for that, brendon.

What?
Mcguirk: I don't know.

But there's a definitely
a word for that.

Right, right.

I think you better
leave, brendon.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, so we'll just take
this back to the apartment,

What do you think?

Well, why don't we
just eat it here?

Andrew:
because my apartment
is cleaner

And because we can
rent some movies.

Rent some movies. Okay. Well,
you win, all right.

Okay, okay.
Andrew: let's go.

Just so you're comfortable
I personally could do an "r,"

If you're willing
and we keep it quiet.

You know, but if you're extra
quiet I could go "x."

Iâ, ™m just thinking out
loud right now.

Keep talking.

Well, what I'm saying
is that I've read

A little bit about "caligula."

Mcguirk: brendon.

Coach?

Well, well, well.
What a coincidence.
Uh—...

How are you?

Whoâ, ™s this?

Oh, uh, dad, this is, uh, my
soccer coach, coach mcguirk.

Hey, nice to meet you.

Well, yeah.
I pictured you much younger.

Thatâ, ™s——thatâ, ™s cool.

I have a lot of respect for
a guy who can keep it going.

Andrew: that's terrific.

Yeah. What are you, uh,
what are you guys up to?

Um, well, we got some pizza.
Yeah.

Yeah, a little pizza, huh.

Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Brendon: yeah, coach.

What are you guys——are
you guys are—...

You go to the go thing
or you're gonna do here?

Well, we're gonna take it
back to my apartment.

Oh, I'm just figuring out
what I'm gonna do, you know.

Mcguirk: I'm gonna get
some pizza too, huh.

Yeah.

Great.
Yeah.
Yeah.

It's nice to, uh,
to finally meet

A couple fellow
pizza lovers, huh?

Right.
Yeah.

This is like a little,
uh, this is like a club.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Okay.
Well, we're gonna take off.

Yeah, it was nice
meeting you though.

Very, very nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you.

Yeah, the same.

You, uh, you know, brendon's
great out there on the field.

You should, uh,

You know, it's funny, I haven't
seen you at any games.

Hey, brendon, actually
I'm coming to the next game.

Really?
Yes, I am.

Brendon: I didn't know——
andrew: well, it was gonna
be a surprise.

Brendon: you've never——wow.

I was just going
to show up—-

Yeah, what kind of pizza you
guys got going? Huh?

Brendon:
wow, I didn't know.
That really is a surprise.

Thatâ, ™s great.

I just wanted to be there—-

I've always wanted you
to see me play.

Guys.

If you're gonna be playing
a sport, you need a man there.

That's fantastic, yeah.

What did you get a——
you got a large.

Brendon: well, thanks.
Dad, thanks.

That feeds two.

Brendon: thank you.

That's actually incredible.

Wow. Thanks.

It's nice to have——
nice to meet you.

You guys taking off?

Yeah, nice to——yeah,
we'll see you later.

You're gonna take off.

I'm gonna get a——
I'm gonna, uh, I'll probably

Stick around here and definitely
get some pizza then, I guess.

Okay, you two wanted to have
a production meeting.

Let's do this fast, huh.

Yeah, the thing is—...

Okay, okay.

If this is about
the documentary I'm making

For dwayne's band, don't worry.
It won't interfere with

Our current projects.

No. Brendon, that's fine.

It's just——well, me and jason
were talking and, um—-

Your mother.

Whoa!

Do you mean like "yo mama"?

No, your mother, brendon,

Your actual mother,
she's been—-

Yeah, she's been making noises
about wanting to act in films.

Yeah.
Our films.

Wha, I haven't
noticed anything.

Well, you wouldn't have.

She cornered us.

Yeah, she is sort
of dropping hints.
Yeah.

The other day when she
interrupted our movie.

We lost a whole
day's worth of work.

Okay, okay,
so I should talk to her.

No, brendon.
It's more than that.

I think we need to do
something drastic.
Mm.

You mean k*ll her.

No, I mean send a message.

Okay. So I'll talk to her.
Is that what you guys mean?

Me and, um, melissa
already talked.

Yeah, we think it would be
better to put her in a film,

You know, get her off
our back, make her happy.

Yeah, it works better
that way, brendon.

Look, I don't want to
rush into anything, guys,

Because, you know—— let's just
see if she lightens up a bit.

Sit on this a few days, see if
anything happens because, uh,

I think——mm, yeah, is everybody
cool with that?

I don't know.

That's funny.

Okay, great.
Meeting adjourned.

Cynthia.

Hi.

Oh, wow. Is that you?

Mm—hmm.

Hi.
Oh, this is weird.

I didn't know you
were gonna be here.
Oh.

Oh, wow.

What a weird coincidence.

You look——you look great.

Thanks.

Did you lose some weight?

No, I probably am taller.
Brendon: yeah.

Because I'm slowly
growing up.

Well, whatever it is,
it's working.

Thanks.

Don't stop doing it, huh,
huh, huh?

I'll see what I can do.

Hi. Hello.

Coincidence city,
population you and me.

Cynthia:
dwayne, is there any
more paint this color?

So, you look great,
but I said that.

But it's great seeing you.

What?

I, uh, you know.

It looks like a——i guess it's
kind of weird for you to see me

Right now because I guess you
and I had some rocky times.

It wasn't that it was rocky.
It was——it was—-

So I better get
back to dwayne.

Dwayne, I'll be right over.
I'll be right over.

Brendon:
dwayne was born 15 years
ago at a place and was one

Of the many hundreds
of babies born that year.

At the age of six, he was given
a thing as a gift.

That thing was a guitar
and that day would change

His life forever.

Oh, so I just started playing it
and I was like—...

So then and I kept playing but
the thing is, um, you know—...

Brendon:
two years ago he met up
with people

That played other instruments.

They would later figure out
that when they played together

That it would sound good,
but at first it didn't.

We sounded pretty bad, yeah,
and my mom would come out and

Say for us to turn it down.

But like more importantly is—...

Was like, you know—...

Brendon:
that day would make dwayne
rethink the volume setting

Of his instrument.

Sadly, he had to make everyone
turn down with him

Until they had a good and quiet
volume mixture.

My mom said, "you turn it down
or you can't play

In the garage anymore."

So we had a band meeting.
There were arguments.

People raised their voices and
then we turned the volume down.

Brendon:
now dwayne and his band
are working solidly together

In what might be their
biggest undertaking yet,

"The battling of the bands."

When we return we will see
the struggles of a young band

On their way to the top

And the difficulties
that come with the struggling.

I can't finish the banner unless
we get more paint, dwayne.

What's up?
What are you doing there?

Nothing. You scared me.
I'm just editing.

What are you doing?
Hmm?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Hey, brendon, hop on.

Are you serious?

Of course, I am.
Get on.

This bike is awesome.
Where did you get it?

Don't worry about
that, brendon.

The bike is, uh, well,
the bike is for you.

Really. I'm speechless.
I just i—...

Really.

Mcguirk: yeah.
Really, do you like it?

Of course, I do.

I thought you might.

You know, I thought you might.

I really thought you
might like it.

Wow.

Mcguirk:
I'll tell you something.

My dad never did anything like
this for me, you know, never.

Your old man ever do anything
like this for you?

Get you a bike?

Oh, yeah. He got me a bike.

He did.

Yeah.

When?

A week ago.

Oh. That's pretty recent.

Yeah, but, uh, is it
as good as this one?

Uh, yeah.
Mine's better actually.

Well, I got to tell you brendon,
I don't like that guy.

All right.

Mcguirk:
I don't like you hanging
out with strangers.

Well, he's a stranger to you,
but he's not a stranger to me.

But still, brendon,
I don't like him.

Don't rationalize.

All right.

I don't like you hanging out
with him, going around with him,

Eating pizza with him.

Plus, we've got
a soccer team here, right?

You're part of the team, right?

Yeah.

I'm still your coach, right?

Yeah.

Well, get off the bike.

It was just that
one time, coach.

You know what?
It's not yours.

It's mine. Get off.

But I still like it.

I don't care.

This paint is scratched.

Brendon:
it's already got somebody's
initials in it, anyway.

Well, I mean, technically
it's not my bike.

I hereby officially
engage another meeting

Of the pizza club.

Meeting number twenty—four—1.1
officially in session.

Any old business?

No.

Any new?

No.
How's your pizza?

Good.
How's yours?

Good.
Thank you.

How's the documentary?

Good.

How's cynthia?

Hates me.

Good——everything seems to be
in order then.

Actually, the way
I had it originally planned

Was that she would
like me instead of hate.

And I somehow mixed it up.

Ah.
Yeah.

You accidentally made her hate
you instead of like you.

Yes.
I must have mixed something up.

Hmm. Sometimes that happens.

Brendon:
I guess so.

It's a classic problem.
Yeah.

Did you try too
hard around her?

Yes, I tried very hard.

I tried very, very hard.

Andrew:
and it didn't work?

Brendon: no.

Have you been acting
weird around her?

Yes.

Unnatural.
Did you try acting unnaturally?

Yes, I rehearsed.

Right, you blurt stuff out
that you didn't mean.

Yes.

I figured iâ, ™m gonna make
myself more memorable.

Mm—hmm, right.
Yeah.

So she's never
seen you relax?

No, she hasn't seen——no.
And she still hates me.

Well, have you told her
how you feel about her?

That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.

All right.
Pizza club members say "aye."

Aye. Aye.
Aye. Aye.

Let's uh, let's——perry.
Let's eat pizza.

This is pizza club so let's—...

Okay. I can't have pizza.

What?

I can't have pizza.

Why?

I'm allergic to it.

Oh, my god.
Me too.

I get lactose intolerance
from it.

Perry——
oh, my god, do you?

Perry, I do too.

Perry: oh, my god, coach.

Perry.
Coach, we can't
have pizza.

Perry.
Yeah.

I have a spastic colon.

We can take the cheese off.

Perry: I think I have
that, too.

But it's when
I eat cheese.

Then the colon
gets spastic.
Me, too.

Who's your doctor?
Dr. Milton.

Oh, my god.
That's my doctor.

Oh, my god.

Walter, perry——shut up.

Walter: why don't we go see
dr. Milton right now.
Perry: yeah, let's go.

So I guess pizza
club is over.

Our little baby's
all grown oh——whoops.

Our little baby is
growing up, isn't she?

Yes, she is.
Oh, little melulu.

I'm not so little now.

I mean, now that ten years have
passed and now I'm a teenager.

And we're still
fugitives that the police

Have not caught yet.

Yeah, that puts
a cramp on things.

Yeah, you bet ya.

Yeah, you'd think
we'd at least be

Unshackled by now.

Yeah, you'd think so.

Anyway, the reason that
I wanted to talk to you

Is because I'm going
on a date.

Hey, wait one minute,
little missy.

Youâ, ™re not old
enough to date.

Well, we knew this
day would come.

We can't hold her back.

No——yes, we can.

Well, no, we—-
we shouldn't.

But we can be chaperones
on her date.

Jason: well, that's a good idea.

No way.
You're escaped convicts.

That couldn't possibly
be more uncool.

I hate both of you.

That's our daughter.

Paula: did somebody order
some balloons? Huh?

Hey, mom.
Hey, you want to have

A quick talk?

Waka——waka——waka—...

Uh, first of all,
how are you, mom?

Great.

Hey, I'm getting the feeling
that you'd like to be involved

In the movies.

No.
You might be projecting
that on to me.

Well, that's weird because you
usually don't dress that way

And wander into the middle
of the movies.

Look, I might be a little bored
around the house since

I've been between jobs.

Brendon: yeah.

But I mean if I happen
to wander in and out of frame

While I'm in the basement
that's an accident.

Thatâ, ™s all.

Okay.
Okay.

No problem.
No problem.

I was just, you know,
had to find out.

Just so I can get this
straight, you donâ, ™t want

To be in a movie.

No.

♪ Wake up in the morning
I have some coffee ♪

♪ Put in the sugar
and the cream ♪

♪ And it tastes nice,
I hope ♪

Brendon: hey, mind if I get
a quick interview?

I don't really
feel like it.

Brendon: it will just take
a second, okay.

Brendon: your name, please?

Cynthia.

Brendon: and how are you
involved with the band?

I don't know.

I help them with
choreography, with banners.

Brendon: why do you spend all
your time helping them?

Because I think
they're great.

Brendon:
do you love their music?

Yes, I do love
their music.

Brendon: then why won't you give
me the time of day?

What?

Brendon: answer the question.

Cynthia: interview over.

No. Interview not over.
Don't leave, cynthia.

Brendon: somebody stop her.

Cynthia, I have to
tell you——wait.

I have to tell you
that I've fallen

In like with you.

It's not my fault.
I wish I didn't.

I wish I didn't like
you at all, but I do.

Donâ, ™t——donâ, ™t leave.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,
the winner

Of the battle of the bands.

Hey, come on——run.

Let's play soccer.
Play soccer.

Everyone on my team,
play the game of soccer.

Hey, looking good
over here.

Yeah, glad
you came.

Sure.
Why aren't you playing?

Oh, I don't play.
This is what I do.

This is it.
This is—-

Well, it's
going good. Thank you.

Yeah, nice work.

Thanks.

Oh, hey, speaking
of thanks.

Thanks by the way for
the relationship advice.

Uh, what do you mean?

Tell her how I feel,
that was yours,

Yeah.

Didn't work, did it?

No, it did not——no.

Well, I don't know
everything, brendon.

Excuse me,
you play soccer?
No.

There's the bleachers,
that's where the parents sit.
Okay.

This is where
the players sit.

Coach, coach.

Mcguirk: what?

Please——
please what, brendon?

All right.

You should be focused
on the game.

And honestly, sir, you want to
sit in the bleachers, all right.

Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Why are you acting
like this?

Acting like
what, brendon?

You're acting
like a jerk.

Oh, I'm acting
like a jerk.

Yeah.

Oh, I am.
Yeah.

I'm acting
like a jerk.

Yes, you are.

That's a laugh
coming from you.

Hey, guys—...

Whoa, whoa, wait.

What do you mean "especially
coming from you"?

Oh, you don't know
what that means, brendon?
No.

I have to explain
everything to you.
Yes.

I can play
your game, brendon.

Ah, guys.

Mcguirk:
stay out of this.

Wait a minute.
Explain what you mean.

You know what, brendon?
I don't have to do anything

You want me to do.

Neither do i.

Not anymore.

Yes, I do.

Well, you're benched then.
I'm benched already.

Well, you're
double—benched!

Guys!
Guys!

Guys!
Guys!

What?

What?

We the pizza club
would like to announce

The induction of our newest
member, john mcguirk.

Thank you.
All right.

I finally made it. Yeah.
It feels good.

I wrote a short speech.

Okay.

Okay.

So, um, well,
thank you.

I mean, uh, it's great
to be a part

Of something, you know.

And I haven't been in
a club in a while.

It's all right,
john.

And, uh, it's
just, uh, wow.

Andrew:
it's all right, john.

Hey, hey.

Have some pizza.

That's what
we're here for.

Brendon: uh, "fugitive two
dads movie," take thirty—two.

Well, melulu, we
have some good news.

Brendon: we've searched all over
the earth and we'd like

To introduce somebody
to you.

Your mama.

Your mother.

Mama.

Oh, little melinda.

It's melulu.

Oh, right.
I'm sorry for leaving you

When you were a baby, line.

That actually was your line.

Paula: oh, great.

You aren't going to
arrest us, are you?

Uh, that's my line.

Paula: whoops.
Then my line.

Yeah.

You aren't going
to arrest us?

Yes.

Brendon: no——you aren't——
paula: no——

We'll cut.
That's a wrap.

But we didn't
finish the scene.

I know.
That's a wrap.

Great job, mom.

You know, I think
I'm ready to direct.

Yeah. Okay.
We'll talk about that.

Brendon: we'll totally
talk about that.

Thatâ, ™s——we'll have
lunch and—...

That was a really
great job.

Yeah, it was great
working with you.

Paula: oh, hey, wrap party.
Wrap party?

Uh, no.

Cookies and milk.

Jason: I'm pretty burnt.
Melissa: time to go.

Brendon: dwayne and his friends
are on top of the world.

A few short days ago
nobody knew their names.

Now over one hundred people
know who they are.

We are the best band
legally now in the county.

Someday we hope to go beyond
the county limits and beat

Other bands, too.

Dwayne:
who knows, you know,
I don't know.

Maybe thereâ, ™s another band
out there that maybe is even

Better than us,
maybe not.

It doesn't matter 'cause
right now we're the one's

Who are——