Our Body (2023)

[bunniefuu]

This film was born of an encounter.

The producer, Kristina Larsen,

told me how she fought

against a rare disease for two years.

While in the hospital,

she discovered a mostly female world

gathered in a single unit:

maternity, cancer, ART,

endometriosis,

gender transitioning, etc.

She suggested

that I film this huge department

treating the gynaecological pathologies

that weigh down on our lives,

on our loves, on our hopes,

on our desires...

All these stages on life's journey,

from youth to old age,

from the beginning to the end.

Between home and the hospital

lies the cemetery.

Crossing it always makes me uneasy.

My father was cremated here

after spending

28 years in a hospital room.

And so I was more than familiar

with the hospital world.

When I first arrive

at the hospital entrance,

I say to myself,

"I hope I'm not going

to catch cancer here."

Then the happy prospect

of encounters gets the upper hand.

OUR BODY

Termination

My choice

What brings you here?

What's wrong?

In September,

around the 20th to be precise,

the 20th of September,

I had intercourse with my boyfriend...

Yes?

I didn't use protection.

I made a mistake and didn't use any.

And I didn't feel the sperm enter...

I didn't feel...

that the sperm had entered my vag*na.

You mean you didn't feel it

enter your vag*na?

- Yes.

- Ok.

Did the boy penetrate you?

- Yes.

- Ok.

And...

For two months now,

I've been pregnant.

And...

- You haven't had your period?

- No.

Not since early September, I think.

Your period was in early September

and you had intercourse

on September 20th?

Yes.

Was the sex consensual?

Yes.

- Was it the first time with this boy?

- Yes.

All right.

And he didn't think...

He didn't think to wear a condom

to protect you both?

He didn't have one on him,

but he remembered and said

he took it off

before ejaculating, but...

He took it off and I wiped myself,

but I didn't know it was inside.

That he had already ejaculated?

- What year are you in?

- Eleven.

Eleven? Ok.

It was tough keeping it from my parents.

I couldn't, even if I knew

it wouldn't be easy.

I couldn't keep it from my parents.

Without thinking,

I told them right out I was pregnant.

After that, my mother...

She was really shocked

and had tears in her eyes.

- She was moved?

- Yes.

But not moved with joy.

With anger.

Normally,

I'm supposed to confide in my mother,

but I don't.

But, perhaps,

before having intercourse,

I could have talked to my mother

before doing it.

She even told me...

I could...

maybe ask her for...

ask her for...

a condom or...

A means of contraception

to protect yourself?

- Your mum would have agreed, she said?

- Yes.

She'd have agreed.

And my father reacted really badly.

He was angrier than my mother.

He said he'd send me to a home

where I'd have to look after my child.

I know my father

and I don't think he'd do it.

He only said it to make me understand

that what I did is really bad at my age.

- Any brothers and sisters?

- Yes.

Are you the oldest?

I'm the oldest, with two half-sisters.

So, in fact, she's my stepmother,

but she's like my mother.

She's your stepmother, then?

I live with my real father,

my stepmother...

my two little half-sisters

and my little half-brother.

That's a lot of people

running around the house.

What about your mother?

Where is she?

I don't know.

Ever since I was five or six,

I don't know where she is.

It's been ten years now.

I'm 15. It's ten years since I saw her,

but I don't know where she is.

You've come to see us

to terminate the pregnancy?

Yes, even if I was against ab*rtion.

I have to do it so I can focus

on my education

and stop messing up like this.

You call it messing up?

Well, messing up...

First, I used no protection,

and also my parents thought

I was at school when I was...

I didn't skip school,

but it was just before my classes.

Did you go to your boyfriend's?

No, it was in a garage.

- Ok.

- It's weird...

No...

That's what you did, ok.

Does your boyfriend know?

Yes, I told him.

He said right off to get an ab*rtion,

but I told him it wasn't easy.

The thing is,

he told me...

he wouldn't take responsibility.

How old is he?

Sixteen.

- Do you think he'd lie?

- Yes.

- Is that it?

- Yes.

What you need is a bit more perception

to size everything up properly.

To say what really happened.

That's what you did.

How do you feel about it now?

The fact you told

your mum and your dad?

Even if there was anger,

even if there was a lot of emotion,

as you say.

How do you feel now?

I feel freer after telling my parents.

If I'd kept it secret,

I'd have felt bad all my life.

I think I'm going to get an ab*rtion,

but I'll feel bad anyway.

It has also made me realize...

that I have to be careful.

And...

It's your story, it's your experience.

The little girl grows up

and becomes a woman.

And, for parents, that can be a bit...

It can be hard

seeing our children grow up.

So...

I find you speak about it

calmly and thoughtfully,

even if it isn't easy.

So this decision

to terminate the pregnancy

is all your own?

Yes.

But I'm a bit scared too.

My mother explained

that if ever I abort the baby,

I can end up with a malformation

or something,

and never be able

to have children again.

Hold on, a malformation?

What malformation?

Well, you never know,

but if I abort the baby and...

A malformation caused by that

could be a disease or something.

Well, no.

- How old are you?

- 24.

Any health problems

or ongoing medical treatment?

Nothing at all.

So, you're here to terminate

a pregnancy?

- Is this your first appointment?

- Yes, the first.

Were you given

a second appointment?

- You confirm you want to go ahead?

- Yes.

The pregnancy

is recent. I saw the ER scan.

At this stage,

we can use the medicinal method.

The idea is, I give you a first pill

that will halt

the development of the pregnancy.

Normally, nothing much happens,

but there can be a little bleeding.

Then, 48 hours later,

you take the other pills at home

to cause a miscarriage.

- Do you live far away?

- No, about ten minutes from here.

- Can someone be with you in 48 hours?

- My boyfriend.

You mustn't be alone then.

What you'll feel

will be like period pains

or contractions of the uterus.

There'll be bleeding, with clots,

but that's normal,

so don't worry. However, there can be

three kinds of complications.

They're rare, but I have to inform you

so that you know.

Sometimes, the bleeding

can become heavier,

more than for a miscarriage.

There are two ways to decide

if the bleeding is too important.

If it flows non-stop like a tap,

come to the ER for a consultation.

The second thing

is if the pills don't work.

We'll need to schedule

a surgical intervention.

The third thing is,

the pregnancy can be expelled,

but leave some tiny clots in the uterus

that occasionally cause infections.

If you have bleeding or a discharge

with an odd smell,

stomach pains or fever,

go straight to the ER, ok?

- Do you have any questions?

- No, it's ok.

Nothing special then?

Take this first pill here.

Then I'll give you the others

to take at home.

Is the child's father

supporting and accompanying you?

He's a bit uncooperative.

And "uncooperative"

is putting it lightly.

He said he supported me,

but he isn't here.

For starters.

That's all he said, nothing more.

He couldn't care less.

- What year are you in?

- The final one.

Going well?

- Yes.

- Good grades?

I guess...

Cool. Ok...

Are you in a relationship?

- With a boy, a girl, both?

- With a girl.

Is everyone in your class...

Do all the students in your class know?

Yes, I came out two years ago.

The high school knows,

but they refuse to use

my new first name.

It hasn't legally changed?

Exactly. The school agrees

to enrol Aslan under the name Aslan

if the ID papers show it,

but that requires both parents' consent.

So we're stuck.

It's a real problem and it's a pain,

but does it hold you back?

I have to relate my life

to each new teacher.

The problem with the father

is a problem for me too.

We'll play for time and move ahead

until you turn 18,

but I need both parents' consent

for a lot of things.

And I can't avoid that.

But we can do stuff for now

to advance your transition.

- That's good news.

- Yes, it is.

For starters, stop your periods.

Then we can arrange

oocyte cryopreservation.

- If you want...

- No.

Let me finish.

You're 17 and one month.

You're almost an adult, but still young,

with years of life ahead of you.

You'll meet others,

you have a girlfriend.

I don't know how you feel

about having children. You don't know.

Maybe, maybe not,

but things can change.

As you'll be taking treatment

that'll reduce your fertility,

it's good to consider

preservation options

if ever one day,

if the law ends up totally allowing it,

you want a child with someone you love

and who has a uterus.

So what are the options?

A baby with someone with a uterus,

using one of your oocytes,

fertilized by a donor's sperm

and carried by your friend.

That's surrogacy.

It's not legal in France for now.

The other option is to carry the baby

in your uterus as a guy.

- No way.

- Ok.

That said,

we don't know how oocytes react,

exposed to testosterone in trans guys

who have babies.

It seems logical

to preserve the oocytes

before they're exposed to testosterone,

in their "natural" state

so they can be used for a baby

if you decide so.

As a guy, I can't be

a child's biological father.

He's saying you can be.

No, I mean a father with my sperm.

I mean that way.

You don't have sperm, you have oocytes.

That's just one of the elements

required to make a baby.

You need an oocyte and a spermatozoon.

Alone, they don't work.

If you want a baby

with your genetic heritage...

That's what's at stake here,

a baby that comes from you.

You need to think.

Talk it over with your mum,

with your girlfriend,

with your best friends and pals,

trans or not...

It's a complex issue.

But, at 17,

as I can't begin hormone therapy

before you turn 18,

I feel it's best to think it over.

That won't stop us halting your periods

before then, ok?

What isn't possible

is using your gametes

with a cis woman's gametes.

That would be two oocytes

and it wouldn't work.

- Was that your question?

- Yes, it was.

- I understood.

- It's not possible.

Yes, that's true.

If we were to use your gametes,

it would necessarily require

a sperm donation.

Donated anonymously.

May I see your face, Aslan?

You too, madam.

Let's get acquainted without masks.

With masks, I don't know

what people look like anymore.

Yes, that's true.

After, it'll be a "mastec" and the rest?

- What?

- Chest reconstruction.

Yes.

And other stuff after?

- Yes.

- The lot.

- The lot? A phalloplasty?

- Yes.

- When did you start testosterone?

- 2016.

2016, ok.

You're 28 now.

It was five years ago

when you were 23.

What do you do for a living?

I work in a brewery

where I help to make beer.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Where?

- In Sancerre.

That's great. I've been to Sancerre.

It's beautiful.

Yes, it's very pretty.

I work at the Sancerre brewery

and the work there is very physical.

So it's tough

at the end of a dose...

A little.

Above all, it's the menstrual pains

that can be...

- Sometimes, at the end of the...

- The dose.

Yes, there can be pains then.

And that's with Nebido?

No, it's with Nebido.

At the end of Nebido,

your period returns?

The pains start a week or two before.

And, sometimes, there's bleeding too.

But if I take my dose right away,

everything's fine.

Do you have sex with cis men?

There's no risk of pregnancy?

I don't understand.

Have you had a hysterectomy?

Not yet.

Do you have sex

with a risk of pregnancy?

I mean, could there be a baby?

No, I don't want children.

What I'm saying is,

at the end of the dose of Nebido,

you get period pains.

Things start stirring a bit.

And testosterone

isn't a great contraceptive.

So I need to know

if you have intercourse

with a possible risk of pregnancy.

No...

I'm married to my wife and...

We need the right dose of testosterone,

so it isn't too low

at the end of your cycle.

Low testosterone

brings the period back.

Maybe you need the Nebido

two weeks earlier to prevent that,

but not as a contraceptive.

No, it's ok.

The pains are there,

but I can live with them.

Testosterone can turn into oestrogen,

so an excess of testosterone

can create oestrogen

that triggers the endometrium.

And, in that case, it explains why

guys with excess testosterone can bleed.

Otherwise,

you have no health problems?

Have you already had an operation?

- Chest reconstruction?

- Here? No.

It...

- Vanished.

- Shrank away.

Do you want a mastectomy

or are you good?

A hysterectomy?

- The upper body needs no work?

- No.

And do you want a hysterectomy?

I don't know. I'm not sure.

I'm really scared of all the knives

and then, afterwards,

all the post-op care.

May I see your face?

Hello.

Five years of testosterone?

Yes, five years.

And I'd like a thicker beard.

It's a good beard.

Yes, you're right...

It's ok.

We ask patients

to talk to a psychologist.

Someone on our team.

It's so you can speak to someone

who isn't too technical or medical.

Someone used to talking to women

on the same path as you.

It lets you talk and ask questions

that maybe you wouldn't ask

of a doctor.

Over the different stages,

I've already seen a few,

like when I was told I had the gene.

I see you've met the professor

to prepare your ovary operation.

It's been scheduled for September 27th.

Ok, that's great.

So, for now,

we can offer treatment to replace

the ovary hormones if you want.

When we remove

a younger woman's ovaries,

without treatment, there's a risk

of fragile bones later.

20 years from now,

but it's wiser to see to that now.

It's ok, I have good bone density.

Ok, but you have to stay that way.

Your arteries can also deteriorate

prematurely without that treatment.

But, if you take it,

it can protect the arteries.

We can pursue the treatment

until your menopause at 50 or so.

We'll stop it then, depending on

what you decide about your breasts.

We don't really continue after 50

because of the breasts,

as there's a risk

of breast cancer in older women.

My mind's made up.

- You'll keep them?

- No, remove them.

In that case, we may be able

to continue after you turn 50.

I can suggest one last thing

so you have no period

or you have your period.

It's up to you.

No period how?

I can give you a daily pill

so there's no bleeding or...

They'll remove it.

They're leaving your uterus

unless I'm mistaken.

The uterus is a box.

If it's told to bleed, it bleeds.

No, then.

So no bleeding. We'll carry on.

Perfect.

How long after the tubes and ovaries

are removed can the breasts be done?

The breasts?

Whenever you feel you're ready.

The sooner it's all over,

the better I'll feel.

Have you already met plastic surgeons

to talk it over?

No, for now I've only seen

the professor for the September op.

So, the surgeons remove

the inner gland.

Then they reconstruct the breast.

They can use either implants,

or fatty tissue from this area.

It's called a DIEP flap.

Maybe you've heard of it.

- My mother had that.

- A DIEP flap? Is she pleased?

- Yes, rather.

- It went well?

It's a major operation...

I think there's a second op

for the finishing touches, so to speak.

Even with implants,

there can often be a second op

to improve the aesthetics.

It's fairly frequent.

The difference between the two is

if we use your body tissue,

it will follow

your weight gains and losses.

It lives with you in a way,

whereas the implant stays as it is.

It doesn't alter.

It's less natural than the DIEP flap.

So, support is better with...

An implant? Yes, it's steadier.

It doesn't move.

But, over time,

a shell can calcify around it.

Your body tries to protect itself

from the implant

and forms a sort of shell around it

to contain it.

It can end up looking a bit odd

or feel bulky.

When you raise your arm now,

you feel your breast rise too.

The immobility can feel awkward.

Our plastic surgeons

will see about it with you,

because what they suggest

depends on each woman's morphology.

I don't feel any pain or aching

in my breasts.

With the post-op treatment,

the n*pples can be a bit sensitive.

They can get a bit stiff,

like when they grew

when you were a girl.

It mustn't hurt.

I've forgotten all that.

It mustn't hurt, ok?

If it hurts, lower the dosage,

and, if it's really bad, stop.

Your armpits now, before you lie down.

Put your feet here and lie down

so I can palpate under your breasts.

Perfect.

The nasty part to finish.

I'll pinch slightly. Is that ok?

All right?

It's all good for me.

Sit up now without falling.

Careful, the step isn't straight.

You can get dressed.

It's all good.

Last December,

after intercourse, I felt a pain...

I'd never felt such pain,

even when I had salpingitis.

I had to use the toilet,

then couldn't get back up.

It lasted three days.

A clearly posterior pain?

Yes, actually, it was really...

How can I put it?

It wasn't like the salpingitis pain,

which was located to the side.

This time, it was really in the middle,

fairly high up, so to speak...

Not this high, but...

Yes, it was right in the middle,

I guess.

- Between the an*s and the vulva?

- Yes.

It lasted a long while

and I realized that,

for a long time now,

I feel different kinds of pain,

more or less regularly,

all located in the same area.

It's not necessarily

always the same, but it comes and goes.

But something that's fairly recurrent

in the last two years,

just over two years,

is that I systematically hurt after sex.

It wasn't like that before.

- May I interrupt you?

- Of course.

I'd like to focus on your period.

When did you have your first one?

- More or less.

- At 14.

Was it painful right away?

No, my period was fine

until I got my second coil.

A new coil then. A copper one?

So now you have a monthly cycle.

- Yes.

- Regularly?

How many days' bleeding?

- Seven at least.

- Seven.

And how many days of pain?

From the day before to the fourth day.

So five tough days each month.

May I ask what you do?

- I'm a bookseller.

- Cool.

So, as a bookseller,

does a painful period

stop you from working?

No. Since I removed the coil,

the period pains have vanished.

But?

In fact, the pain wasn't

during my period,

but it was...

At no specific moment?

This posterior pain

occurs after intense intercourse?

- In certain positions?

- Yes.

And you're saying those pains

last for a while afterwards, right?

Actually, it depends.

There's a stabbing pain

and that pain can be deep

or to the sides.

If I hold back defecating or urinating,

it can last for days.

Even if I only hold back 15 minutes.

And...

during sex, it can be a stabbing pain

or a lingering one.

Ok, it seems clear to me.

The most intense pain is on the left?

No... Well...

Don't you feel a sort of pain or ache

around here?

Yes, like a ball.

It surrounds the left side of the pelvis

and spreads back?

I wouldn't say it spreads back,

but it reaches as far as the rectum.

For me, things are clear.

What you're telling me all adds up.

The question is, where to begin?

Let's try to be pragmatic here.

It's clear you feel neuropathic pain,

but you also suffer from real pain

due to the location of something.

This thing, which I hesitate to name,

is endometriosis, ok?

Using your MRI scan,

I'll do a drawing to explain.

This is the bladder, this is the uterus

and this is the rectum, ok?

You feel pain during intercourse

because, between the uterus

and the rectum,

you have a fairly large endometriosis

near the rectovaginal fascia,

between the uterus, rectum and vag*na.

It's impossible to have

pain-free intercourse in this area

without it resulting

in the posterior pain

spreading to the buttocks,

that you describe.

Are you single or partnered?

- I'm married.

- Cool.

Any babies planned?

- Sorry.

- It's ok.

I've been married three months

and sex with the guy I love hurts me.

We're going to work on that.

Three months married, that's cool.

If you got married, you have plans.

- Yes.

- Cool.

Plans for a baby?

Not right away.

We'll work problem by problem,

brick by brick and, that way,

move ahead.

You can see that the pain

is multiple, with different sources.

It's of a chronic nature

and has left a big mark on your body.

Treating it in a flash with a pill

isn't going to work.

We have to try various options.

In order to do that,

we'll keep it simple.

Here's my thinking.

We halt your cycle in an attempt

to block inflammation.

Once we've done that,

we can try to build on it.

We're going to try

a progestogen-only pill...

Yes, but...

Well, I'm willing to try.

There are two issues.

Can I...

mentally...

There's the pain, but also

a total lack of libido for two years.

It began overnight, for no reason.

It's not my relationship,

as that's going well.

And it doesn't just concern

my relationship, but me personally.

I understand this pill may worry you

because of your lower libido,

but if it allows us

to reduce the inflammation,

maybe it can improve

your sexual relations.

That's why I stopped the other

after four months.

Because there was

no physical improvement.

I understand.

Mentally, however,

things were worse, for my libido

and for my anxiety too.

So that's something I've learned

to deal with now.

More or less successfully

depending on the moment.

But I know myself well enough at 30

to observe

how things develop

and I told my doctor, "Sorry, I...

I'm saying this in all conscience,

but I prefer pain to a lack of desire."

I suggest starting from what we know

and have found

to see what we can set up

to move ahead.

To sum up, we have a diagnosis

of acute endometriosis.

We mentioned that last time.

There's a digestive problem

that we also talked about.

We know there's no stenosis.

So that means

there's no surgical urgency.

And that's a key point, ok?

No surgical urgency as, for now,

we don't need to prioritize surgery

in your treatment.

Is that clear? It's fundamental,

as it's a huge weight off our shoulders.

What?

- There's no stenosis.

- No.

That's important.

That was worrying me

because the doctor I saw before you

said I'd probably need an operation

to fit a bag.

That was like a sword of Damocles

over my head, so I'm reassured.

That was the issue

of our conversation last time.

The sword of Damocles you mention

is really stressful.

With stenosis,

we'd have had to operate.

Maybe we'll need to,

but that's not the case,

so no worries or urgency there, ok?

Everything's cool for you.

So now, we can take a step back

and organize things.

My priority now is the preservation

of your fertility.

We mentioned it last time

when we said

that we'd assessed your ovaries

and that, rather worryingly,

their functioning was reduced.

Remember?

That's an important issue

because you're only 28

and have no plans to get pregnant yet.

- Not at all, no.

- No plans...

My idea is to offer you an alternative

between waiting and monitoring

the deterioration of your ovaries,

and freezing your oocytes.

Freezing your oocytes seems to me

to be an excellent solution,

so that in a few years' time

the day you want to conceive

either you manage it naturally, fine,

or you can't but, a few years earlier,

you decided to freeze

a sufficient quantity of good oocytes.

Ok? That's the philosophical approach.

What do you think?

I listened to you

and I got an appointment.

Good.

I got it at Clamart,

but they kept me waiting.

It was due to be next week,

but now they've postponed it

until November 12th.

So I'm going to do tests, I think,

new blood tests and all that.

But...

I know I have to do it

and I agree with that,

but I'm a bit scared

because I haven't had my period

since August 2020.

I'm scared of having it again,

the pain, the effect, etc.

Like I said, I'm undertaking

a career change this year.

In relation to that, I have to take

a half-afternoon off work.

It doesn't matter,

but I'm afraid if I do that now,

the pains may prevent me from working

or confine me to the toilet.

I'm afraid of going through all that,

so to speak.

I want to do it, but I'm scared.

All I can do is prepare you

by saying what you may encounter.

And a major factor in all this

is time.

You have your work.

And you see it can be incompatible

at times.

That's why I asked if it was possible

to wait until the summer or...

I don't really know how to answer that.

All I can say is

your stock of ovaries is low

and I think we should do it now.

At first, I thought I could do it

during the Christmas break.

Being in teaching

that would really suit me.

But I can't foresee

exactly when my period will begin,

so it's not easy.

It's up to them to synchronize

your cycle, so don't worry.

- They can do that?

- Yes.

It's not the first day of my period?

They synchronize.

There's something else

I have to tell you.

The priority here is you.

- Understand?

- Yes.

It's hard telling yourself that,

but the notion of time is fundamental.

It's a good job, helping people, etc.,

but your health comes first.

And we mustn't lose sight of that.

We can solve a lot of problems,

but it's impossible to make

everything compatible.

I insist on that point

and I'll support you

by making sure you're the priority here.

The sole priority.

Where's the endometriosis lesion?

- You see that fibrous area?

- Ok.

Move the laser lines

to the endoscope intervention point.

Install endoscope for targeting.

Direct endoscope to target organ,

then press the targeting button

and hold it down.

Targeting complete.

Lock the other arms.

Is it recording?

Hold on a minute

for me to get into place.

Very nice!

But it's a big job.

Can you give me the pliers?

Go on.

That's it.

Help me lift the intestine.

A bit more.

There, that's good.

There's an endometriosis lesion

near the rectouterine pouch.

There's this lesion here.

Check if you can see it.

Move in a bit, please, with the pliers.

Pull that tight.

You see? Bring it under your blade.

That's it, pull back.

Nice and gently.

Take your time.

Cut it.

That's it.

Perfect.

And here, get a bit closer.

Great.

Do the haemostasis of this bit here.

That's it, there. Great.

I like that.

You see?

Wait for them to light the rectum.

You need to be very close

to the rectum.

A bit more...

Get closer to the rectum.

Really, really close.

Even closer.

You have to remove that.

Tackle it from the side,

from the fatty part.

That's it.

That'll let you find the right angle.

That's it.

Cut it now.

A bit more on the outer side.

That's it. Great.

That's it.

Mind that blood vessel there.

Careful, you're right above it.

Don't stay on the surface.

Cut it.

Don't dissect, cut.

Gently. Hold on.

A bit lower.

Remove that ugly bit on the right.

Stay on the surface now.

That's it. Gently.

Nice and slowly. Take your time.

That's it. That's good.

A bit more there.

That's what you need to take.

That's beautiful.

Very pretty.

That's what you need to free.

Nearly done.

You can see the fat.

That's it. Great!

That's that sorted.

It's supple.

Leave that now

and move up to the vesico-uterine pouch.

It's just behind that.

You can cut that bit in front of you.

I'd cut there

where you have your pliers.

Free it laterally.

Use that.

That's good.

Move back up.

There, up you go.

Pull back.

Just a minute while I help you.

That's it. Great.

Put the lesion in the pouch.

Free that and take the pouch.

Take it.

Thank you.

Put that to one side now.

There, that's great.

One last quick wash

and we're done.

How long have you been trying

for a baby?

- Ten months now.

- Yes, ten months.

Since January 2021 more or less?

Have you been pregnant together before?

No.

You were pregnant separately, ma'am,

is that right?

- Do you have children, sir?

- A daughter.

Is your period regular every month?

Yes, it is again now.

It took a while after the op, but...

- All right. Do you smoke?

- No.

Your weight and height?

My height is 162 centimetres

and my weight 93 kilos.

93 kilos?

There's one important thing

about weight.

You're fine as you are,

but it's important

to control your weight.

Being overweight or obese

can reduce the chances

of getting pregnant naturally or by IVF.

The good news is that you have

a fine stock of ovaries,

but you're 39

and the chances of pregnancy

are a bit lower at 39,

due to oocyte quality.

Every extra likelihood of success

increases your chance of pregnancy.

That's to make it clear statistically.

At 39,

as some statistician worked out,

you need around 18 oocytes

to obtain a good quality embryo,

with a 40% chance of pregnancy,

ending in miscarriage in 50% of cases.

So we're a long way

from being 100% effective.

So it's really important

to try to improve your chances

of pregnancy, spontaneously or by IVF.

You really mustn't put on weight,

and even try to lose a kilo or two

if you can.

We're already working on that.

So, you're 39.

What's your profession?

I'm a computing engineer.

You're 36, sir.

What's your profession?

I'm a university lecturer

and I'm doing a PhD in geography.

No testicular pain during sex,

no problem with erections

or ejaculations?

There can be when I'm overworked.

I can feel a little tired then,

but nothing otherwise.

It's only when you feel stressed?

Yes, when I have students' work

to correct.

Do you manage

to have intercourse regularly?

Yes.

How many times a week?

- Once or twice a week.

- That's good.

This is your semen analysis, sir.

I have the first to compare.

Yes, please.

So, the sperm concentration

is 2.4 million per millilitre.

So that makes 10.1 million.

That's a bit less than the norm,

which is around 30 million.

But there are enough spermatozoa,

so don't worry,

but that may contribute

to the difficulty

of a spontaneous conception.

As long as there are sperm, it's fine,

we can manage via ART.

It's always wiser to freeze the sperm

so we don't end up in a situation

where we do an ovarian puncture

and, on the day's semen analysis,

we have

sperm that is useless

or a count that is too low.

Given the past fluctuations,

from 48 to 10 million,

I don't know how it'll go.

There's no sense in making you

do more semen analyses,

but, when we puncture, we mustn't get

a semen analysis we can't use.

Of course.

And...

you say the committee is going to meet

to decide if IVF is recommended.

Actually,

we've carried on trying naturally.

But I'm still not pregnant.

Anyhow, we really want

to follow through on this,

and I wanted to know...

I have questions as we'd like to get

real information, away from the Net.

There seem to be several methods.

How do you know which one suits us?

There are several stimulation protocols.

You have a fine stock of ovaries,

with your AMH at six.

Really!

Often with young women like you

who have such a good stock,

there can be a risk of hyperstimulation.

That's when the ovaries

overreact with a lot of follicles

and that can lead

to kidney or liver failure,

and venous blood clotting

with pulmonary embolism.

Those are serious issues.

But with this protocol we're sure

things won't come to that.

Do I have to have injections too?

No, no treatment for you.

You're lucky there.

- No shots for you.

- Ok.

Your sole contribution is a sample

on puncture day.

Ok, I have it easy, then.

Is your tummy hurting right now?

- No.

- No, you're ok?

When was your last injection?

When and at what time?

It was on Saturday at 11 pm.

Do you remember which drug?

Not Ovitrelle, the other.

- Decapaptyl?

- Yes.

How many vials?

Two of them.

- Two vials?

- Yes.

Check this is you.

You agree she's the same one, sir?

- Yes.

- Good.

Your right wrist, madam.

Will you be fetching her, sir?

At 1:30 pm, you can join her in the room

and stay until she's ready to leave.

Come with me

to see which room she'll be in

and then you'll go down...

Let me check.

You'll go down to the lab.

Remember where it is?

It's the one where...

Take the waiting room lift,

go down to level -1,

walk a bit after the lift,

first left,

and show your ID at reception.

The hard part is

we've already lost a baby.

We often talk about it...

with my partner.

It's a real journey.

We've done two steps now.

In any case, we know it works for me,

that I react well.

That said, I don't know

if the puncture will go well.

After, they have to fertilize them,

and see how they react

before putting them back

to see if it works out.

If it does, pregnancy will be

a whole other journey.

They're just little steps.

But it's for...

It's because we're in love,

so it's good.

I met my partner fairly late,

as I'm no youngster now.

And already we're...

we're happy we met

and so...

that's why we're here,

because we're trying for a baby,

but when you're 40...

it's not as easy

as when you're younger.

It can happen though.

Yes.

Just relax.

Can you edge down

towards me, please?

Move your behind down a bit

on the table.

That's perfect.

Are you ok?

Yes, fine.

I'm going to put the sheets around you.

Yes, you can set your behind down.

I'll explain things as we go.

but if something feels wrong,

be sure to tell me right away, ok?

What do you do for a living?

I'm a primary school teacher.

I'll begin

the anaesthetic.

You shouldn't feel any pain.

It's just unpleasant,

with a prick at one point.

If you feel your heart racing,

any dizziness or nausea, tell us.

I'll inject it now.

It shouldn't be painful.

You'll see the needle appear

along this line.

It'll look like a white line

on the screen.

I'm going to start now.

The probe is a bit bigger

than the ultrasound above it.

Can you focus it for me? Thank you.

Tell me if need be.

Everything all right?

So, there's a first ovary right here.

See the follicles?

Those black circles...

I'll do the follicular puncture now.

Say if you're not comfy.

You can see the white line

moving down...

and entering the follicle.

Now you'll see the follicle vanish

bit by bit.

We'll take that one.

Ok? Let me know if it hurts.

I have the needle in your ovary

and it can feel a bit sore.

I can reposition if you're not comfy.

I'm in the perfect position

and it's really easy for me.

I'll stay there as long as I can,

but if it's unbearable for you,

I can reposition.

The left ovary is done.

I'll do the right one now.

This one's further away

so I have to press down a bit more.

Is the pain bearable for you

for now?

It hurts, but it's ok.

Can I start?

- How do you feel?

- Hold on.

Just say when, no worries.

It's the last one.

I'm going to bother you again

because it's hidden behind your uterus.

I'll reposition

so I won't hurt you too much.

Can I try again?

I'm going to press down on your tummy,

or you can do it yourself.

Press down here.

With your hand.

My colleague will help you.

I'll press down to bring it closer.

You're doing great, just great.

I'm not going to let this one go.

It's the last one and it's lovely.

There, we're done.

It's all over. Bravo.

Thank you.

Are you aspirating what's good

or what isn't?

I'm looking. I think there's one here,

but as I'm not sure, I...

I'm tilting the dish

to remove some blood.

Actually, we take all the oocytes

and put them in IVF pools like this

to clean them first of all

and to stock them.

Given the viral risk,

we clean them twice.

There it is.

That's it there.

You can see in the light that it's...

You can see it just there.

You can go here.

Come in, it's nice and clean.

Here you go.

The container for the sample.

I'll put your name on it.

I'll let your check your identity

and your wife's.

- Perfect.

- All right.

Wash your hands before opening it.

It's sterile inside,

so wash your hands first.

For your personal hygiene,

take the compress and the disinfectant.

Wet it with the disinfectant,

the whole compress.

Then clean and disinfect the glans...

Your willy I call it,

as some patients don't understand.

Then put everything in the bin.

Then open it, put the sample in it

and close it when you're done.

This is just a small stand,

but make sure it's in place.

Close it and then put the container

in here.

Leave the door open to air the room.

Keep your phone on. If it's no good,

someone will call you

for a second sample.

- Ok, fine.

- All right.

I'll leave you to it.

All right, thank you.

DO NOT DISTURB

Do you see any sperm?

Yes, I'm counting them

and checking their motility.

Normally, there are plenty everywhere,

but there aren't many here.

Each time I add a figure,

that's a sperm.

In the first sample,

I saw only nine sperm.

One was moving,

two were at a standstill

and six weren't moving.

In the second, two, one, three, nine.

So twelve.

This one's freezing his sperm

as his count is so low.

The average is 15 million per millilitre

and he's at 0.01 million.

So it's really not a lot.

It only takes one.

It only takes one,

but in ICSI she has to find it.

It's tough when there are so few.

I used dye on the slide

to assess the vitality of the sperm.

It dyes all the dead sperm violet.

We count them and get

the percentage of live ones.

Because, sometimes,

live ones don't move,

but can be used,

while others don't move

as they're dead, making it trickier.

We can't use those.

I'm waiting for the slide to dry.

Are some dead?

Yes, but it's normal to have dead ones.

Generally...

I can't remember what the norms are,

but I think

with 55% of live ones,

we usually have 45% of dead sperm.

In this case, he has a bit more.

He has 24% live and 76% dead.

And?

Is that better?

He's below the average.

He doesn't have 15 million, but 1.6.

But compared to the other guy,

he has 100 times more.

Even if I'm "blas" about it,

we're all stressed each morning.

We want them to fertilize.

We want to see our results

and get fertilization for our patients.

That's normal.

Yes, we're not that blas, see.

Wait till you inject.

I don't have time.

You can start.

Begin training on the afternoon shift.

I was trained in ICSI before IVF.

I already have a big head.

It'll be worse if I do ICSI.

ICSI is what I prefer.

We'll make some baby Clments.

Baby Clments.

There's transfers too. You feel like

the patient is pregnant thanks to you.

What's the semen analysis count, please?

- Five million.

- Five million?

What's the rule?

There's no rule,

but with a high count I use very little.

Five million isn't a lot of sperm, so...

I'm using a little.

Here, at goal four,

I put some on the PVP line.

The sperm are arriving.

You see them move.

This one looks good.

It doesn't show any anomalies.

So...

Personally, to break the sperm,

I like to be near the line.

Position yourself just above it

and block it.

I've stopped it, see?

You can't see it,

but I'll try to show you.

Then move the needle like this.

There, you see, I broke the flagellum.

Then lift it with the tail,

sorry the head, facing down.

Move towards the exit.

Try to block the flow

so it doesn't go too high.

There it is.

I've lowered it to four

so you can see it arrive.

The position when you insert it

creates a flow.

Now, I insert my needle.

You test it a little.

I can see I'm on the same level

because the cytoplasm...

the cytoplasm and area P

form a small dent.

Now, I bring the sperm

as close as possible to the needle.

And I go in.

Once I'm in, I aspirate.

I aspirate the cytoplasm

and you'll see it move faster.

That's the oocyte bursting.

Once the oocyte has burst,

inject it back in,

with the sperm, of course,

and you're done.

Next one now.

And so on.

These embryos are five days old.

We'll see which ones have reached

the blastocyst stage,

the stage just before implantation.

It's the stage that interests us

to do the transfer.

You can see the two nuclei.

We'll do the transfer with ultrasound,

so I'll put you down here.

After the transfer,

do I take Spasfon or not?

Yes, you can take Spasfon.

Get comfortable here.

I'll keep your ID

until we do the transfer.

The doctor will be along to set up.

You have a hook for your things.

I'll call her right now.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

You can move closer

to your wife's head.

We'll turn the screen so you can see.

Or you can stay by her side if you want.

It's up to you.

Ok, here we go.

I'll insert the speculum, madam.

May I?

Sorry, it makes you want to pee.

- Is that ok?

- Yes.

Edge down a bit towards me.

Is it bearable?

I have to press a little, sorry.

On the scan, we can see your uterus

and the endometrium membrane

where we'll place the embryo,

using ultrasound to guide us.

This is the little catheter

containing the embryo.

Here we go.

- See it?

- Yes, a tiny dot.

Can you expose the endometrium

a bit more?

What you're doing inside, I can feel it.

Really?

Breathe deeply.

The sphincter inside the uterus

is a bit tense.

Let's wait for it to relax.

Breathe deeply.

That will allow it to open.

Let's see. That's perfect.

We're now in position

to inject the fluid with the embryo.

You'll see a small patch

appear on the screen.

There it is.

I'll remove the catheter now.

My colleague will check

that the embryo

isn't stuck inside it, ok?

I'll leave the speculum there for now

as inserting it was so unpleasant.

Your instructions...

You can go shopping if you want.

Live normally.

If you want to do sport, do it

If you want sex, do it.

If you don't, don't force yourself.

Try to be as relaxed as possible,

if you're able to manage your stress,

of course.

That's all.

We'll keep all our fingers crossed,

pray and hope to have good news

after this transfer.

-

It's perfect.

- Thank you.

Okay, it's... quite quiet.

I think you need a bit more...

do you know, uh...

long-acting insulin?

You need a little bit more.

So you was...

you had diabetes before the pregnancy?

Okay, since... how many times?

- How many years?

- Yes.

- 19... 19, 20, 21. Three years.

- Three years? Okay.

- Do you have some drugs?

- Tablets.

- Metformin?

- Yes, Metformin.

Perfect.

I will examine you.

One problem.

My hotel.

There's not cooking, at my hotel.

I need a house.

- Why?

- Because no cooking at the hotel.

- No cook?

- Yes, I am diabetic.

Eating food... outside... problem.

Highly diabetic.

But, I need a house, yeah.

That's a very big problem, for a woman

like you, with the diabetes.

I will make a medical certificate.

Okay, and you have

to give it to the...

social worker.

So they will try to help you.

The 115 social service got it?

The hotel? You have it with the 115?

Yes.

Okay, so I will give you

the medical certification.

And she will give it to the 115, okay?

Perfect. It's not too big.

Perfect.

- Do you need help?

- No, thank you.

Did the scan go well?

- Very well.

- Was it nice?

Did you ask the gender?

No, actually.

- So you want it to be a surprise?

- Yes.

Are you able to say why?

I didn't really want to know.

We're already caught up every day

in gender issues, boy versus girl,

so I felt it was good

to be out of all that for a while.

Obviously, it'll be one or the other,

but it's a nice break.

Apparently, the gender was obvious,

but we didn't want to know.

Because you have

no particular preference?

It's simple, you just want

a healthy baby and that's all.

That said, I don't think I...

I want both, but have fears about both,

so it's good not to know.

- Your date of birth is June 2nd, 1985?

- Yes.

Is it a spontaneous pregnancy?

Yes.

Your height.

174 cm.

- Your weight before pregnancy?

- 69 kg.

Do you have health cover?

Top-up insurance?

- You're married, partnered?

- Married.

- Where are you from originally?

- Senegal.

How long have you been in France?

Almost 11 years.

- Do you work?

- Yes.

What do you do?

I work in a central kitchen.

For schools?

I'm a production agent

in a central kitchen.

- Do you drink?

- No.

How old is your husband?

He's nearly 66.

- Is he from Senegal too?

- Yes.

- Does he work?

- Yes.

- What does he do?

- He's a chartered accountant.

Are you circumcised?

Yes.

How many pregnancies?

Four.

Fourth child?

- No terminations or miscarriages?

- No.

- It's not too uncomfortable?

- No.

There's a contraction coming.

Can you feel it?

No? Everything's ok?

When there's a contraction,

I can feel the baby's head.

Your cervix is dilated

to a good four centimetres.

It should progress nicely.

Keep me posted about what you feel, ok?

Go on, lift your behind.

Perfect.

Do you feel drier now?

Perfect.

Something's running.

It's running a lot?

Is that what you felt?

The liquid running all of a sudden?

You know that's normal?

There was a lot because you lifted

and lowered your behind.

Everything's fine.

It was a lot. Let's clean up.

It was a real flood.

We'll do it all in one go.

Will someone be here with you?

No.

- No one to accompany you?

- No.

Not even a friend or a relative?

Your husband's minding the children?

He's at home with our two children.

Does it seem long?

A little.

A little, but not too long.

Do you feel it'll happen soon?

Yes.

Insh'alla

h. By God's grace.

I'm impatient.

I'm impatient to meet her.

I'm impatient.

There's one starting. Can you feel it?

Yes, here it comes.

Can you try to help her descend?

That's very good.

If you feel her pressing,

you can press with her a bit.

Go on, accompany her

where you can feel her.

That's very good, you're doing great.

Take your time.

What do you feel when you do that?

- Is it painful or a relief?

- A relief.

It's a relief, right?

Let's try again.

Take a deep breath, feel her pressing

and push her towards me.

That's very good.

- It's over. Are you ok?

- Yes.

Stay like that. I'll clean you up.

You'll feel her like that from now on

and things will move faster.

Don't hesitate

to press the epidural button.

Do you feel that strong one?

Go on, you can accompany her.

Nice and slowly. I added more epidural.

I'll add more in a minute.

Let's get ready for the birth.

- I'm going to poo!

- Ok, let it out, she's on her way down.

- No.

- Stay calm.

Don't hold your breath.

Give lots of air to your baby too.

Great.

I'll get everything ready

for the birth, ok?

Are you ready? At the next contraction,

give it all you've got.

Ready?

I'm examining you.

Make your tummy nice and hard

and try to feel her head descending.

- There...

- Another one?

I can feel her descending too.

Let's go.

Take in lots of air.

Hold it.

Push your little girl. Go on.

Keep going.

Nice and hard.

Go on. Lovely!

Go on, her head's almost turned,

that's great.

Keep on like that.

Go on, keep pushing.

Very good.

Breathe out, relax a bit

and then get right back to it. Let's go.

Take in lots of air

and push her really hard.

Go on, don't stop, don't stop.

Rest now.

I think the contraction is over.

Let's wait now.

How was the pain when you pushed?

It didn't hurt?

- It's bearable.

- You feel her descending and pressing.

That's great.

Another one?

All right, let's go.

Fill yourself with energy.

Push down nice and hard.

Come on, don't stop.

Harder than that.

Try to feel her pressing.

That's great.

Come on, don't stop.

Nice and hard.

That's perfect.

You're doing a really great job.

A great job.

I can see her coming.

It's so beautiful. Bravo.

Relax now. Relax.

There.

Ready for her shoulder?

Her head's here.

Let's go. Take a deep breath

and push her hard. Bravo.

Go on, don't stop.

Very good. Relax now.

Rest your head on the pillow.

Let her come on her own.

Here she is. Listen.

Want to take her?

Here you are.

Take your little girl.

There...

Bravo.

Are you holding her?

Yes, little sweetheart.

It's all right now.

Who's this then?

Mummy's little princess.

She's so beautiful.

Take your mask off.

We forgot to take it off.

Look how beautiful she is.

Let her see you properly.

Yes, my little baby.

Yes, my love.

Here you go.

Hold her against you.

On her side, like that,

so she can breathe properly.

I'll put a sheet over you.

I'm going to take your voice.

Lift her up slightly.

There.

She has nothing more to say.

That's the placenta.

You can feel me looking,

just to check there's no tearing.

- Am I hurting you?

- No, it's ok.

I'm so happy.

I can see that.

- How was it for you? Are you happy?

- Very happy.

Good, wasn't it?

- I'm happy too.

- You were great.

Really, really good.

It was wonderful,

a really beautiful birth.

You did a great job.

You're so kind. Thank you.

You too, above all.

You helped me a lot.

Let me help you move up the bed a bit.

Until the baby came out,

I didn't really realize.

You wondered if it'd be ok?

I wondered

if it was the baby coming out or...

It was as if I was having fun.

I was giving birth as if...

As if we were having tea.

Exactly!

We'll have tea together tomorrow,

if you want.

We'll really have tea.

I'll come to see you.

I'll fetch it.

I won't have time to deal with 103

before I move to 106.

She's asking for a bottle.

After nine months of complicity,

we've met each other at last.

We've met each other, right?

My little sweetheart.

Yes...

Yes...

This is real life.

May God bless you.

Health.

Long life.

Peace.

Intelligence.

A lot of love.

Respect.

All that, my love,

insh'alla

h.

Hello, I'm the duty gynaecologist.

I'll be doing your C-section.

Everything ok?

Does this hurt?

Do you feel that? Does it hurt?

That hurts a little, but that's normal.

The anaesthetic will kick in soon.

You can feel us touching you.

Feel us touching you?

Does it hurt?

Does it?

Hear that?

A blue sheet.

33 minutes past.

2:33 pm.

- 31?

- No, 31 and 33.

Hello, you little darling.

You got a second one ready?

Look, they're here.

There are two of them.

Beautiful, huh?

Yes, we're going.

Maybe we won't give you both at once.

Not right away.

You can do that later.

Turn the heat up.

Set it at 39 degrees.

You're so cute...

- This one's Sarah?

- Yes, Sarah.

Let's weigh her.

A little diaper.

Did you weigh her?

No, not yet.

I didn't measure her either.

Just her weight.

We didn't weigh her yet.

We're going to talk

with Mummy about what happened

to you both and you'll be here with us.

Concerning that question

you just asked...

Something that could possibly

have a "harmful" effect on your baby

is what you keep inside.

From the moment you...

I have to admit I'm someone who...

I express myself a great deal

and I manage...

to let everything out.

So I talked a lot about the birth

and I admit...

It's a good job I saw the midwife

on Tuesday.

Because otherwise, right now...

I don't know what I'd do.

Actually, last Tuesday,

the appointment with the midwife

did me a lot of good.

Actually, it's funny because...

The midwife was Margot, right?

She went back over the birth

and explained precisely how it went.

That allowed you to understand

what had happened

and to be reassured about the fact

that it wasn't

an ordinary, normal birth,

and that the pain you felt

wasn't the pain...

you had imagined it would be.

I didn't realize

they couldn't hear the baby's heart,

that her heart had a problem,

that that the priority was saving her.

I wasn't aware of all that.

And also why...

The doctor seemed at little harsh

at one point,

but I didn't know

if it was because of me

as I was in pain and screaming.

And so I was thinking

that it was normal for him to be harsh

in order to set me straight.

But Margot reassured me

that he had been like that because

they had to move fast to save the baby.

They're minor things,

but I see I sensed them right.

He was harsh,

but only because he had to do that.

I finally understood

what had happened to me.

Why it had gone that way.

That you don't let a woman

suffer like that.

It was the level of pain, above all.

When I spoke to others about it,

people would say

that birth without epidural is painful.

It wasn't just painful,

it was horrible.

The contractions were so close

and so intense,

I couldn't listen to what they said,

even if it'd have helped me suffer less.

So I was there, thinking to myself

that I couldn't listen to them,

plus I hadn't done pre-natal classes,

so I didn't know how to breathe.

I was thinking all that

and wondering about his attitude

while I was giving birth.

On top of that,

I didn't understand the pain.

I was thinking

I should be breathing properly

instead of screaming

and thrashing about.

I was wondering about all that

and thinking

maybe he was talking that way

because I was behaving...

- The wrong way.

- Like an animal.

What came as a relief to me

was that in various blogs,

luckily I had read

that, when some women give birth,

there's a sort of animal-like regression

with the use of harsh words at times.

For example, my husband,

who could hear the doctor,

tried to say something to boost me,

but it was like an order

and I didn't want orders.

I reacted violently and yelled,

"Shut the f*ck up!"

I think the whole unit found that

really hilarious.

The odd thing is

I don't have any memory of this...

They put her on me

and I said,

"I want my baby."

And they told me, "She's there."

Why does this upset me?

I don't know.

They said, "She's there,"

and I kept on saying, "I want my baby."

I couldn't see her.

I don't know.

I don't know why it upsets me.

There must be something.

- How are you?

- Fine.

You saw Lise?

I saw Lise and the baby too.

She did a scan.

- Is the baby well?

- Very well.

- And you?

- I'm ok. A bit tired now.

See I have hair now?

Yes.

I recognize you with or without.

Is it good to have hair?

I don't know.

Uber drivers come on to me.

That's a message for you, sir.

Let's look at the blood test.

The results are good.

How's the treatment going?

Any problems after the last session?

No. My blood pressure's down,

but Lise says it's normal.

During pregnancy, yes.

Today is the fourth session.

Yes.

Nausea? Vomiting?

Your appetite?

I can't stop eating.

It's not the end of the world.

I have to keep eating.

No, it's ok, I really should eat more.

Depending on the term, we'll organize

a few tests with Lise

that we may need for the birth.

And, before we complete chemotherapy,

we'll assess what remains

and schedule the surgical intervention

best adapted to your case.

- All right?

- Ok.

It's my fourth injection

of the first drug.

After this, it changes.

The second one should be better.

Let's go.

Everything ok?

I can't feel anything.

That's the idea, in theory.

You're dozing off.

I'm beat.

You've eaten too much.

- When's the birth?

- Early January.

I have to last till then.

You're strong and supported.

You're right.

The gentleman is working too.

Yes, he's supposed to.

Finding your inspiration?

This is just to relax.

I saw you looking out...

It's because I'm drawing

the building opposite.

There's some left.

Yes, it goes slowly.

The last 5 CCs now.

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

Zero.

It's over.

It'll be another hour now.

Say if you want the helmet changed.

Thank you.

I hope they find a better treatment

as it's a bit gross.

It's w*r-time treatment.

They were invented after the w*r,

all these drugs.

It's mustard gas or something.

When I say it destroys the feminine,

it destroys your period too.

It destroys the cycle, everything.

It's dreadful.

Dreadful...

People ask a lot of questions,

so you have to tell them about it.

You reassure them. They're scared.

It's a genetic cancer,

and I have two sisters,

so it's a threat for them, of course.

That said...

I was the only one in my family

with a case like this so young.

Atypical.

For 10 years, you'd had...

- Pain in my breasts?

- Yes.

I thought it was normal

for a woman to suffer, as they say.

- You know that line?

- Yes.

I've heard it before.

My breast began to swell.

I've been closely monitored.

I had a palpation

three months before I got a nodule.

They said I had nothing.

They can't always feel it.

Or they don't know, maybe.

Who knows?

It's my story anyhow.

Please, have a seat.

I'll give you this. Like I said,

it concerns the four samples we took.

We've found breast cancer.

There are three points in the breast

found after the MRI that you did.

That's why it was best to do the MRI

before taking samples, to save time.

The ganglion

that you felt under your arm

contains tumorous cells.

Cancerous?

Exactly.

What do we do in such cases?

You have to do a further test,

which is called a PET scan.

What's a PET scan?

It's an examination of the whole body

to tell us if there's anything

somewhere else or not.

I had a prescription

to do a scan of my pelvis

and my liver. It was clear.

I have it here.

I'll take that and scan it.

That's good news.

The PET scan is even more precise.

So it's important to know

if we have

a disease of the breast

and of the underarm lymph nodes,

or something more generalized.

We need to answer that question

as treatment will depend

on the PET scan results.

Either we do localized treatment,

surgery, if everything else is clear,

or we opt for general treatment,

chemotherapy.

Do you have any questions?

What do you mean

when you talk about surgery?

Given that all three biopsies

have turned out to be positive,

it's unlikely we'll save the breast,

so we'll need to do a mastectomy.

Are you sure?

Not until we do the PET scan.

- I hope not.

- I hear you.

I hear you.

What I'd like to do...

Is it possible to do reconstruction

straight after?

No.

Why not?

We can do reconstruction straight after

when we're sure

there'll be no further treatment.

We have enough data in your case

to do chemotherapy.

- Will I get that?

- Yes.

Is that true?

Will it be long?

I need more data to say.

You're sure?

Is the chemo after surgery?

It depends on the PET scan.

It depends on that.

So I'll lose all my hair?

There's a risk of that.

Well...

All right.

Ok.

It's not as if I'm the first.

It's intense treatment, but it cures.

Yeah...

If you could avoid taking off my breast,

that would suit me.

Obviously, like I said,

and that goes for every patient.

I'll do my very best to fit

the treatment in with your work

as far as possible,

without losing any opportunities

for treatment...

That's ok.

You see to the film, I'll see to you.

It just happened to appear now.

It's strange.

- That's why I wanted to film us.

- And why I agreed.

Right.

I think if this had happened

before I began filming the hospital,

I'd have been much more upset.

You no doubt see things differently now.

It's important for everyone

to understand.

When you understand and see others...

Of course.

All of a sudden, it's different.

Carcinoma here.

vag*na...

Uterus...

Uterus, ok?

Lymph nodes here.

Radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy here.

To...

reduce the cancer, ok?

For radiotherapy, we need to find out

if here...

carcinoma or no carcinoma, ok?

If...

carcinoma,

radiotherapy necessary

here.

What's also?

Here also.

Radiotherapy

here and...

here too if...

Only if the lymph nodes swell.

Yes, if they get bigger.

Bravo.

To find out...

if it's sick here,

we need a PET scan.

A scan.

Plus surgery.

Removal of...

Lymph nodes, ok?

Yes.

After treatment...

very, very little...

After treatment...

After treat... irradiation,

very little chance of getting pregnant.

Virtually no chance.

Because irradiation...

Uterus not work after.

She asks me about

fertility after this treatment.

I explain to her

that there's virtually no chance

of fertility after this treatment...

because...

the cancer is too advanced

to ensure preservation of fertility

that would be risky

where the prognosis is concerned.

I also explain to her...

the considerable possibility

of menopause after this treatment

for the ovaries must stay

in the irradiation field

because of the advanced stage.

Probably menopause after treatment.

After irradiation,

because I cannot...

preserve

ovaries.

Ovaries.

Because tumour...

Too big

to be able to preserve ovaries.

Ovaries irradiation too.

Also irradiation ovaries.

After, not work.

Under ORAN criteria,

I have no internal swelling.

I have fat,

so it's not the usual aspect,

but I can't confirm an immature teratoma

or something like that.

For me,

it's probably a benign teratoma.

I don't want to do a coelioscopy

with a risk of contamination.

So...

What if I put it in bag

and puncture

with a V-shape rather than...

If you do the adnexectomy

and put it in a bag, that suits me.

That's good. It suits me.

Validated.

What does the review say?

I confirm it was re-interpreted

in the unit.

The MRI confirms it.

You can cut and paste the MRI review.

Adnexectomy recommended.

Remove by laparotomy.

With protected extraction.

Let's move on.

Ok, we remove that.

I'd like to see

if there's any infiltration

of the abdominal wall.

See what I was saying.

That was to answer Sandrine.

We'll have to excise the muscles

with the aponeurosis,

meaning the wall will be

very difficult to close.

It closed in chemotherapy,

but opened up again

with your coelioscopy.

I'm telling you.

I couldn't believe it

when I saw it.

The abdominal wall in chemo,

but sensitivity may alter if I go on.

I think the window of opportunity

is right now.

You're not pressuring us.

I never do.

Her general condition is better,

she reacted well to chemo...

I'm very pleased with how it's evolving,

when I expected it to be catastrophic.

Yes, she's doing very well.

I saw her with...

She isn't obese.

But there's definitely carcinosis.

True, the result won't be spectacular.

So, given the patient's

generally favourable condition,

we confirm surgery is recommended.

The patient must be informed

of the risk of digestive,

urinary diversion

that could be permanent,

as well as

of the parietal risk.

We have the young patient

with a borderline tumour

that I took for cancer,

given its coelioscopic aspect,

but the Tenon radiologists were right,

for once, exceptionally.

So you say!

And so...

As they were right, I did a laparotomy

as there was a tiny carcinosis.

It was very thin, insidious,

dome-shaped.

So I did a laparotomy

to remove the nodules.

I preserved part of the left ovary,

no right ovary.

She only has a bit of her left ovary.

And the results...

A major micropapillary borderline tumour

in the left ovary

and the peritoneal nodules

are non-invasive implants.

- Good.

- Good for her sake.

So, preservation of fertility.

It's only a tiny bit of ovary.

If you could find her...

If you could find her

a few oocytes before...

a recurrence, that would be good.

Next...

There'll be a debate about this one

with Laurie.

- You got the documents?

- Yes, and I replied.

Really?

Hurry up!

She had a 42 mm tumour,

at the age of 37,

centred on the urinary meatus.

If Isabelle can show it,

it'll be interesting.

I gave her a radical vulvectomy.

I went from the clitoris at the top

into the rear of the vag*na

with a posterior resection,

and I took the whole urethra,

all the way to the urethral sphincter.

There's lymph node metastasis,

but without capsular rupture,

and the area is healthy everywhere

after the vulvectomy,

with at least 6 mm of urethra.

5 mm, plus the resection.

The healthy urethral cut.

Continent or not?

She's continent, so I have to say

the whole business was very precise.

So I put that: ESGO 2020.

No lymph node radiotherapy as there's

one lymph node and no capsular rupture.

Very precise work by Loubna too.

As for vulvar radiotherapy,

I'd say no, but we can discuss it

as there's ensheathing and so on...

It's a pity, as she's continent

with radiotherapy.

Exactly. At 37, I'd prefer...

Agreed.

For a victim, it's always hard

and painful to relive such moments

and denounce such practices.

We thank all victims

who have the courage to fight

an attacker with power,

firstly for themselves,

and also for all women.

I see a professor-like man appear

with five or six students.

No one asks my opinion.

He doesn't look at me.

Using arcane medical terms,

he addresses his team

and, before I realize,

he gives me a violent examination

that leaves me shocked and in pain.

Despite my refusal and my tears,

I have three rectal digital examinations

by three of the students present.

All he said was, "You have no choice."

I left, shocked by this appointment

with the man who could save me from

a disease plaguing me since I was 14.

My words:

abuse of power and r*pe.

When one side is more powerful,

like a doctor opposite a patient,

someone on whom your health depends,

you have no choice.

Plus, it's someone

with knowledge you don't have.

With a doctor, we are all

in a position of subjugation,

even more so a woman

in a gynaecological position

opposite a male doctor

who mistreats her and who,

as was said, leaves her stunned.

As a nurse, I see that youngsters,

the young interns,

are more aware of all this.

That's good. I'm optimistic about that.

But there's still

an older generation

in the medical world

that requires training.

I'm furious because, for years now,

management has known all that.

We just found out and we're in shock,

but complaints were filed years ago.

It seems obvious to me that we need

care-givers to install a protocol

prior to any gynaecological examination.

We must be informed

of what will be done to our body.

It's our body, it belongs to us.

We must be informed.

Secondly,

we must give our consent.

It's our body and our decision.

No procedure should be carried out

without our prior consent.

Demanding that protocol

could change things considerably.

Next, there need to be units

to counsel and defend

patients who file complaints.

But not old-style counselling units

confined to the hospital.

No, a unit bringing in exterior groups

like those that have spoken today.

It'd change things.

If a patient and victim could go

to a unit

where she knows she has allies

and a sorority of women

who are afraid of nothing as there is

no relationship of domination

or of subordination as in a hospital,

that would change a lot.

For the breast, as we said,

we'll do a mastectomy,

the removal of the whole gland

because of those three nodules.

Unfortunately, as we said,

it isn't possible to keep the breast.

But we can reconstruct right away.

Concerning the lymph nodes,

you remember one was a bit enlarged

and they did a biopsy

at La Croix.

That revealed some diseased cells

in the lymph node.

And when you redid

the ultrasound scan,

she said she thought

there might be three or four.

That's what I saw on the scan.

So, in that case,

there's a clear recommendation

without any option

for axillary dissection.

Axillary dissection means removing

all lymph nodes?

We remove the nodes from a space.

What does that mean?

In the axillary cavity,

we have markers

like the axillary vein

and nerves on the side.

We remove the nodes from that space,

not the others,

the subclavicular

and supraclavicular lymph nodes.

That said, they play a key role

in the draining of the breast,

and also partly in that of the arm.

I understand, after talking about it,

that for your job...

Good job it's on the left.

With the arm,

the goal is to recover

full mobility of the arm.

We don't sever any nerves

that control the arm's mobility.

All right.

Anything to add about reconstruction?

Any questions about what we said?

There'll be a scar under the breast.

There'll be one scar here

from the axillary dissection,

and a second scar...

Under the breast, in the fold.

Seven or eight centimetres long.

We said we'd keep the areola.

As I said, the areola could be painful.

Your areola is vascularized

by the gland.

We're removing the gland.

It could end up less vascularized

as the vessels that supply it

arrive via the skin or via the gland.

As we're removing the gland,

there's a risk it may not survive.

sh*t.

If it doesn't survive,

the areola in the middle,

you'll need another op.

It'll turn blue and then black.

- Cool.

- There's a slight risk.

You'll need an op to remove it,

with a scar in the middle of the breast

We can do it right away

to avoid that risk.

No, I'd rather try.

- Who'll reassure me as I go under?

- Both of us.

- Everything ok?

- Yes.

It's good there's a cinema cameraman.

I love the cinema.

It's great that you're filming this,

Claire Simon.

I love the idea.

Thanks for your generosity.

It's good because it allows people

to see what happens.

I think it's wonderful.

Do you want some music?

That's a good idea.

Music's great, I love it.

What do you like?

Classical, jazz...

I like classical music, jazz...

Piano music would be perfect.

There we go. This is it.

- Relax.

- I am relaxed with this great team.

Clench your fists.

I need to tap a bit.

How long till I'm out?

We'll let you know as we go.

There's nothing anaesthesia-wise yet

as we're placing the monitoring devices.

- The electrodes might prickle a bit.

- No, they're fine.

Try to move your fist like this.

Watch me.

- What's going on?

- I want to see the veins.

- All right.

- Clench it.

The camera makes me laugh.

Clench it tighter.

It changes the whole mood.

It eases the stress.

There, the IV is set up.

- Hello, madam.

- Hello.

- I'm Raphal, another anaesthetist.

- Hello, Raphal.

I'll put the mask on you.

It's oxygen.

You just need to breathe calmly.

Is that ok?

Lower the mask a bit.

Can you lower it a bit?

Hold it yourself if that helps.

You can hold it if you prefer that.

Yes, it helps.

That suits me too.

Everything's ok, it's just oxygen.

He's Raphal, so what's your name?

I'm Majid.

I like that, it's more personal.

Raphal and Majid.

Everything's fine.

There's only oxygen in the mask.

Focus on your breathing.

Breathe in deeply.

There's only oxygen in the mask for now.

Nothing to put you out.

Stay focused on your breathing.

Make yourself comfortable.

You can move on the mattress.

You should be

as comfortable as possible.

Starting to feel a bit woozy?

You're nice and comfortable.

You're relaxed.

You're feeling sleepy.

Keep breathing slowly and calmly.

You're going to get a warm feeling

in your left arm

that will spread to the shoulder.

Everything's fine.

The warm feeling is pleasant.

As it spreads,

you feel more and more like sleeping.

Everything good?

Majid is faultless.

Yes, he's so gentle.

Incredibly gentle.

Gastric probe before the thermal probe.

Is this the right lady?

Yes, it is.

Surgery for cervical cancer

with lumbo-aortic dissection?

Yes.

Gastric probe in position.

Let me open your file...

- How are you feeling?

- Fine.

You're fine?

It went ok after your discharge?

- Your arm?

- It's ok.

It's not very supple.

Have you had physiotherapy?

Yes, I've started.

- You've started.

- Two sessions.

How long ago did you start?

- This week.

- This week. Ok.

- You can't lift your arm high yet?

- No.

We'll look at that after.

I get the impression

that arm is still a bit lazy.

Do you do the exercises at home?

Does your arm ache?

A bit.

A bit, yes.

I'll take a look.

Is it sensitive to the touch?

Does it feel odd?

The swelling will go down.

It's still a bit swollen for now.

It'll slim down too.

Then we'll see about reconstruction.

No.

Ok, we'll see.

You don't need to decide now.

Put your arm on my shoulder

to see how you lift it.

It's a bit stiff under the arm.

Does that hurt?

A little, yes.

That means you need a lot of physio.

The prescription says twice a week.

- How many sessions? 20?

- 15.

I think you'll need more.

We'll extend it.

And, at home, do this.

I raise my arm until it hurts

and then stop.

I touch my shoulder like in the notebook

and raise my shoulder,

no, the elbow...

I lift my elbow

as if I was brushing my hair.

Even when you don't have physio,

do that at home.

Try to raise it to the side.

Higher.

A bit more.

That's tough, isn't it?

It's still a bit stiff.

Does it hurt there?

It was hurting here...

But it's less painful now.

Are you applying cream to it?

You can use shea butter.

Or a cream like Dexeryl.

A hydrating cream.

This lady had bilateral breast cancer

with a tumorectomy

and sentinel lymph node procedure.

That was a year ago.

Radiotherapy after.

How's it going on Letrozole?

No, we switched to Aromasin.

- Well?

- It's ok, but I'm putting on weight.

I don't know why.

I'm not a big eater.

Sometimes, I don't have dinner

and I forget I haven't eaten.

- That's good.

- I've never been a big eater.

Last time,

you'd put on six kilos, right?

And I've put on more.

What was your pre-cancer weight?

62 kilos. 60...

Never more than 64 kilos.

And now?

So 10 kilos since...

There's smoking too.

You have a lot to confess!

You still smoke?

I smoke and, now and then,

eating with friends, I drink too.

But if ever I drink a little too much,

I get cholesterol.

Not cholesterol, triglyce...

Yes, triglycerides.

- Do you drink every day?

- No...

Once or twice a week?

Twice a week.

- Two glasses or more?

- No.

It's...

more.

- I think it's the drink.

- Triglycerides...

The drink.

Drink can make you put on weight.

Are you drinking more?

Yes. We chat together

and I smoke a lot.

A lot.

How many a day?

A pack and a half.

But I gave you the number

for the tobacco addiction unit.

Yes, but I said no.

I'm not going to tell you I'll go.

But it's important.

I know, I'm aware of that.

I know it's for my own good,

but it's the only pleasure I have left.

Have you tried to cut down?

You talk about pleasure,

but that's 25 or 30 cigarettes a day.

- They're not all...

- I smoke lights.

No difference.

Have you tried

to cut down to ten, say?

- Sometimes.

- Not sometimes, every day.

No.

Of those 30 cigarettes,

not each one is a source of pleasure.

The more you drink,

the more you want to smoke.

It's a kind of vicious circle.

I'll give you

the tobacco addiction unit number again.

They can give you...

Have you tried vaping?

No, I don't like it.

- But you've tried it?

- Yes.

But I quit once for four years.

Now it's time to...

I never really smoked before.

On an evening out, just ten cigarettes.

Try to smoke only on an evening out.

- And in the morning?

- I smoke a lot then.

With my coffee.

I never eat breakfast.

Coffee and cigarettes,

one after another.

Then I'm done.

I can go all day without smoking

until the evening.

We need to decide how much longer

we give you hormones.

Why? Because you're...

you're nearing the age

of physiological menopause for women.

Even if things are less clear

for trans women,

we know we need

to ease off the oestrogen eventually.

Why?

Because after a certain age, say,

the benefit-risk balance

of oestrogen treatment can alter.

That means there's a greater risk

caused by oestrogen

of vascular problems like strokes,

coronaries, phlebitis or embolism.

That risk increases,

along with the risk of breast cancer.

For cis women, there are recommendations

based on major group studies

that show

a grace period of five years

after the menopause

under certain conditions

for cis women.

For trans women,

we follow the same pattern.

But we lack the data to say...

to proceed differently

than with cis women.

So what I'm saying is

we'll start to think about lowering

your oestrogen hormone therapy.

You're approaching 60, not just yet,

but it's best to prepare for it.

Did anyone else mention this?

No, not really.

We can't permanently maintain

oestrogen therapy for women

beyond the age of the menopause.

Luckily, you're in great shape,

in good vascular condition.

Your cholesterol is perfect,

you don't smoke, you're slim.

We can imagine your vasculature

is healthy

and so the risk of causing

vascular problems with oestrogen

is much lower,

but not non-existent.

So I'd suggest

taking four doses from now on.

Start to lower the oestrogen level,

as what you've gained in femininity...

Well, there's no turning back.

Your body as a woman

is yours until the menopause

and beyond.

- Body hair won't be a problem?

- No.

Because it has diminished

a great deal.

Of course, I've had a lot of treatment,

by electrolysis and laser.

These tests don't show testosterone,

but you have a female testosterone rate,

so a very low one, ok?

There's no reason for it to return.

Well, that's not quite true.

In post-menopausal women,

because there's no more oestrogen,

the low testosterone in the body,

notably from the adrenal glands,

can express itself at times.

So, post-menopausal women,

cis women I mean,

often have more body hair

than before their menopause.

That's normal.

It's because the testosterone

can express itself

as the oestrogen is lower

and a cis woman's ovaries stop working.

This kind of inconvenience is normal.

It's something to deal with

for post-menopausal women.

If it's a problem, we'll discuss it.

But I'd prefer...

From a medical angle,

it's best to lower the oestrogen doses

progressively from now on

and say

that, at 62, 63 or 64,

you'll take no more oestrogen hormones.

May I see your face?

I'll show you mine.

We're still...

- No worries.

- Thank you.

That way, when we meet again

without masks, I'll recognize you.

Let's hope it happens soon.

There are tough moments,

but my sister is here now,

and it's much better

as she spends all day with me.

Frankly, I feel good.

But...

I get the blues now and then,

and I'm a bit scared.

Scared of what?

Returning to Quimper?

No, not at all, it's not that.

The post-treatment care?

Yes, and that same old fear of dying.

I understand.

Have you tried walking with your sister?

We go to the garden

and it does me good.

A power of good.

I'm not surprised. How's the pain

when you're in the garden?

The fact of moving and walking?

I'm happy because I realize

I've made progress.

I can walk all the way round it,

holding onto my wheelchair.

I walk all the way round, then sit

and she pushes me until I try again.

Do you feel the pain is under control

when you walk or is it still painful?

It's under control.

Ok, that's a good thing.

- Really under control.

- Ok.

I could never have done that

back in Metz.

I couldn't even walk.

Even at home, I couldn't go

from one room to another.

I feel much stronger now.

Even though I've deteriorated,

the treatment seems to be working well.

Why say you've deteriorated?

Do you feel that,

between your arrival and now,

you have deteriorated?

Oh, yes.

On what level?

The pain isn't as bad.

Of course.

On what level then?

I haven't deteriorated here,

it was already happening at home.

You can say if you think it was here.

I won't take it personally.

I just want to know

what makes you think that.

Do you find yourself

more dependent on others?

I was more dependent at home

with my sisters.

I'm not used to being assisted

all the time.

For 15 years, I looked after a gentleman

with Parkinson's until the end.

But now I need help,

and that...

- That's what's hard.

- Very hard.

Ok, I understand.

You feel you've deteriorated

because you have lost

your autonomy,

partially perhaps,

and are more dependent on others.

Before, others depended on you.

Ok, I see.

And I was very...

And that's hard.

Does that play a part in your anxiety?

Oh, yes.

But you can see your progress

since you say you couldn't walk as well

when you arrived here

as you can now.

Yes, that's obvious, really obvious.

So that means you've recovered

a level of autonomy,

even if you still need help

for some things. That's normal.

But I feel you've recovered a lot

as you can go out to the garden

and walk all the way round it

without having to stop

because of the pain.

Yes, that's really quite something.

I'm very happy on that level.

- So that's a positive point?

- Yes.

Ok, but you're still dependent

on your sisters.

And you find that hard.

I'm glad I have them,

but I realize I need help.

It's the fact I need help that...

Ok.

That need for help.

Does the idea of returning to Quimper

increase your anxiety?

- No, not at all.

- Ok.

I have a lovely house there,

with lots of flowers.

They'll put my bed

where I can see the garden.

I'll spend my time in the garden.

I'm very happy to be going there.

We're going to wait a few days

to see if the obstruction clears.

All right?

If the obstruction doesn't clear,

I'll have reached a dead end.

I'll have reached a dead end

where cancer treatment is concerned.

- Do you understand?

- Yes.

We've done two different kinds

of chemo.

For now, I don't get the impression

that the second one, after two months,

is having the effect

I'd like it to have.

In other words,

that you'd be eating better,

that you'd be walking more easily,

with more strength, an appetite

and regular bowel movements.

All those signs would show

the disease was in regression.

For now,

that doesn't seem to be the case.

So we'll give the medication

time to work

and see where we are

five days from now.

- All right?

- Yes.

If there's no improvement,

I'm afraid I'll have to halt treatment.

Yes.

- That means I'll enter palliative care?

- Yes.

I didn't call your sister yet,

as I wanted to talk to you first.

Yes.

All right.

- It's hard.

- Yes.

You're very brave but, unfortunately,

sometimes the disease

can defeat bravery

and defeat medicine.

Yes.

And, even if you never complain,

I know you're getting tired.

I can see it.

Yes.

Do you ever feel afraid?

- Yes.

- Ok.

But I could tell it was coming,

so I contacted

the funeral directors.

When did you do that?

Yesterday.

Why do you say

you could tell it was coming?

Because I could see

that even you were discouraged.

Above all, I think...

that many patients,

male or female, in your place,

would have already given up.

With you, despite everything

that I did in chemo,

prodding and bothering you,

you were always...

In any case,

you accepted it without complaint.

"Let's go, all right, Dr Richard,

we'll try that."

But I can see, that between

your last hospitalization and now,

you're a lot more tired.

- Yes.

- Am I wrong?

No, you're right.

And, even you,

I'm not saying you've given up,

but I sense a new kind of weariness.

Ok, that's what we'll do.

Besides, I'm here this weekend,

so we'll see how the next five days go.

We'll see if the obstruction clears,

then talk about it again.

- All right?

- Yes.

You'll tell me what you want.

- Shall I call your sister?

- Yes.

To tell her what we've just said.

Ok, I'll call her this afternoon.

All right?

I remember what I wrote

before I began filming.

Each person comes to the hospital

with their own story,

continually questioned,

cared for and operated on.

Cases are discussed in meetings

and in the corridors,

like a sort of myriad of stories

that everyone here knows are lives,

new lives and perhaps deaths.

It's a sort of crazed waltz

of destinies.

But the big difference between

the hospital staff and the patient

is of course that the patient

has only one story,

her own.

After sh**ting ended,

I kept coming to the hospital

for treatment.

It's over now,

and my hair is starting to grow back.

Get up, I've decided now

I'm replacing you

I'm gonna take your pain