02x13 - Bumble in the Jungle Plus: Beethoven's Whiff!/Mind Over Matterhorn

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Aaah!

I didn't do it, I tell ya! Ya
got the wrong meerkat.

It was that lying,
no-good toucan Dan.

He stole the train
car full of beak Polish.

- That's what they all say.
- Especially the innocent ones.

- And don't try to escape.
- We hate that.

- Makes us look bad.
- So don't do it.

- Yeah, don't do it.
- Right.

Oh, woe and sorrow!

I'll never breathe the
air of freedom again

or feel the earth
beneath my feet.

That's right.

You're stuck in there forever...

Whilst I, toucan Dan,

run around free as
a bird, which I am.

Oh, that lying,
no-good toucan Dan!

We gotta get outta here
and clear your good name.

We've gotta escape!

- Yeah, we're takin' a break now.
- Union mandates it.

- We get full medical coverage.
- Even dental.

- It's a great union.
- Go, union.

- Whatever.
- And don't try to escape!

- Okay.
- Okay.

We are outta here!

Ouch!

Ouch!

Under the wall,
ya mook! Dig down!

Diggin' down!

Oh!

Ohhhhhh!

We... don't wanna
be here, Timon.

Oops.

Gin.

Shh!

Oof!

Aha!

Freedom!

- Eh... what?
- Yeah.

This tree's occupied!

Aah!

Get your own rock!

Don't even think about it!

Aah!

Let's get to work.

We gotta find that lying toucan
Dan and get a confession out of him.

- No good.
- Why not?

You left out no-good.

It's lying, no-good toucan Dan.

What... ever!

♪ Boola boola ♪

♪ boola boola ♪

Aha! now I've found
you, you lying...

- No-good...
- toucan Dan!

And now, it's time
to sing my tune!

I am not toucan Dan.

- Now what do we do?
- Don't be fooled, Timon.

It's toucan Dan.

Remember, everything
he says is a lie.

You don't fool me.

You stole the train car full of
beak Polish and told them I did it.

Now, confess!

All right, I confess. I did it.

- Could you repeat that?
- I said... I didn't do it.

He's very clever, Timon.

Then we'll have to
be more cleverer.

Did you, toucan Dan, steal
the train car full of beak Polish

and tell the cops I did it?

No.

Is everything you say... a lie?

Yes.

In summary, if he's lying, then
everything he said was the truth.

But if he's telling the truth,
then everything he said was a lie.

Too convoluted for me, Timon.

Ooh! Maybe we should
search his footlocker.

Right. Search his footlocker.

Thank you, Sherlock hog.

Hey, let's search
his footlocker.

- Okay, end of the line.
- We told you not to escape.

- Don't you have ears?
- Yeah, why didn't you listen?

Well, look what we have here...

The missing slipper from
the Cinderella caper...

The porridge from
the three bears case...

And a train car
full of beak Polish.

Okay, bub, you got
some explaining to do.

Confess now, and
we'll go easy on you.

Yeah, only fry ya once.

I am not toucan Dan.

It was a present
from the king of Spain.

The nightmare is over, Timon.

Your good name has been cleared.

Once again, you can
breathe the air of freedom

and feel the earth
beneath your feet.

Not quite.

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Told you not to escape.
- It's a federal offense.

- Even if you weren't guilty.
- So don't try it again.

- Or we'll be back. Okay?
- Okay?

- Okay!
- Okay!

Ahh!

This is great, Timon.

Ahh! You said it, Pumbaa.

We should have
come here ages ago.

And now that we're here,
let's never, ever, ever leave.

It's a hakuna matata paradise!

Aah!

I am bahooka,

lord of the volcano.

You have disturbed
my eons of slumber,

and now you must perform
the 12 tasks of bahooka!

Yes, you! There is no
escape from my wrath.

Show obeisance
and bow before me,

and I mean now!

Yes, o mighty bahooka.

What are you doing, Timon?

It's bahooka, lord
of the volcano.

- We must bow.
- Uh-huh.

And where did you
get an idea like that?

He told me in a loud,
booming, annoying voice.

Sure, it did.

This is just a
carved rock, Timon.

It can't talk!

I am not just a carved rock.

I am bahooka!

Get the pig with the program,

or I will destroy the
island and all upon it,

including, and especially, you!

- Hey!
- You heard lord bahooka.

Make with the
bowing! The bowing!

Bow! Bow!

I didn't hear anything, Timon.

Is this like the time you thought
that car was talking to you?

Your door is ajar.

Your door is ajar.

Ooh! That car was eight
cylinders of fuel-injected evil!

It was just a hatchback, Timon.

Stop prattling and get on
with the 12 tasks already.

Yes, Pumbaa, stop prattling!

We've got 12 tasks to perform.

You're starting to scare me.

Task number one...

Put me on a comfy pillow
as befits a lord of the volcano.

Ah, pillow? Pillow? Oy!

I'm not a pillow, Timon.

Shut up! Oh, what next,
oh mighty bahooka?

Task number two...

Please get me an air
freshener for this pillow.

Very good. Now,
task number three...

You must throw a
feast in my honor.

As you command,
oh mighty bahooka.

With coleslaw, pomegranate,
but no cheese! I don't like cheese.

Oh, yeah, and get me some of those
sweet and sour baby back ribs. Mmm!

Ribs! Ribs! Yes,
of course. At once.

Aah!

Here is your feast, your
magnificent no cheesiness!

Ooh! I don't like
being a pillow, Timon,

and I don't like being
the main course.

And frankly, I think you're crazy
talking to that rock-head thing.

Uhh! You got coleslaw on
bahooka! Apologize at once!

If you think I'm going to apologize
to a non-talking talking rock head,

you're even crazier, than I
thought you were a minute ago!

Crazy? Crazy?

No, crazy would be to die in a
flaming, angry volcano eruption

instead of doing a few simple,
ordinary, everyday tasks!

Bring me the Mona Lisa's
smile, David's fig leaf,

and the airplane warning light from
the top of the empire state building.

Okay.

- Smile...
- Aah! Aah!

- Fig leaf...
- Aah! Aah!

Eee! Warning light.

Timon! Oh, Timon,
look what I found!

It is, uh... bambooka!

I am bambooka,

lord of the bamboo!

And I say you should

let your good friend Pumbaa

take you to a licensed
mental health practitioner.

Get out of my face!

It's just a chunk of
bamboo! It's not even carved.

I don't take orders
from inanimate objects.

Timon!

Proclaim my name
across the heavens!

Yes, your inanimate objectness!

"All hail" mighty bahooka,
lord of the volcano,

who is not a figment of
Timon's crazed imagination."

And you filled the car with gas?

Yes, bahooka, premium!

What is thy bidding, o
fearsome stone-head boy

with the booming,
annoying voice?

Bahooka demands a poem.

Yes... ha ha... a
poem, of course.

Timon, make poem,
lovely poem. Ha ha. Haiku,

iambic pentameter

oh, bahooka...

You're not a mooka.

The end.

Oh, bahooka...

I like-a youka.

You're scarier than a bazooka.

The end.

Pumbaa, what are you doing?

Bahooka spoke to me just
like he did to you, Timon.

Ha ha ha ha ha. See? See?

I told you he could
talk! Ha ha ha.

And you thought I
was crazy go nuts.

Bahooka said to take you to a
licensed mental health practitioner.

I said nothing of the sort!

The pig is faking.
He cannot hear me.

Ignore him and continue
performing the 12 tasks.

He's talking to you
again, isn't he, Timon?

Quiet! Bahooka, guide me.

Task number 10...

bring me a national monument.

National monument, yes!

Which one? Which one? Which one?

Whichever one is the
most difficult to retrieve.

Monument.

Monument.

And now, task number 11...

get me a side of ranch dressing.

Done and done, bahooka.

Are you done being crazy so we
can get on with our lives, Timon?

My life belongs to bahooka.

I hate to be the one
to tell you this, Timon,

you've completely
lost your mind!

Bahooka matata!

♪ Bahooka matata ♪
♪ bahooka matata ♪

♪ bahooka matata... ♪

Hold the singing!

There is still the final
task... Of the 12 tasks.

You must take all of this junk
up to the top of mount magma

and dump it into the
volcano as your final sacrifice.

Cool.

Mount magma!

Mount magma!





Not so fast.

You didn't throw in the pillow.

Pillow?

But... but Pumbaa
was the pillow.

Into the volcano?

Okay, if you insist.

Timon!

That's it! You're both toast!

Bahooka has spoken!

Uhh!

Don't answer it, Timon!

- Aah!
- Aah!

There it goes, Pumbaa,

a hakuna matata paradise,
and bahooka blew it up.

Bahooka was a figment
of your imagination, Timon.

The volcano probably blew up because
of all the junk you threw into it!

So, tried to give
me the slip, eh?

- Ohh!
- Well, we'll just see about that.

Okay, Berkowitz, let's
take it from the top.

Where's my pillow!

Uhh! Crud.