02x17 - Shopping Mauled/Library Brouhaha

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Ain't no passin' craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ Hakuna! Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

♪ hakuna! Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon & Pumbaa ♪

Viva Las Vegas!

The city that never sleeps!

No, no. That's New York City.

Oh.

The biggest little
city in the world.

No, no. That's Reno.

The windy city?

I'm not touching that one.

I, coliseum quintius,

the most mean-spirited,
lion-hearted

Emperor in all the
Roman empire commands

feed them to the lion!

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh,
boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

You hear that, Timon?
We get to feed the lion.

Lion?

There's nothing
in here about lions.

What kind of luxury
hotel-type resort is this anyway?

Oh, boy! Yay! Oh,
boy! Yay! Oh, boy! Yay!

Pumbaa?

I suddenly have reservations
about our reservations.

You mean we don't
get to feed the lion?

No, we don't.

How come?

Grrr!

Because lions eat guys like us!

- Yipe!
- Grrr!

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Eat the pig first.
- Go for the meerkat.

- Big, juicy baked ham!
- He'll taste like chicken.

Oh, guys?

Simba?

Eat Pumbaa first.

Are you kidding?

I'm not going to eat
either one of you.

Hmm.

Well, that's good news.
Now, come on, simba.

We're in Rome, so
let's get to roamin'.

Haukunias matatamus!

You can't just walk out.

A lion must eat the victims!

- But these are my friends.
- Yeah.

And friends don't let
friends eat their friends.

Eat them or fight claudius,

the most blood-thirsty,
undefeated gladiator lion

in all the coliseum!

Grrr! Grrr!

Grrr! Grrr!

Nice knowin' you.

Simba, I'd rather you
go ahead and eat us

than get k*lled, but
will you eat Timon first?

Eh, listen.

I think I have a solution that
involves slightly less digestion.

Please, please, oh,
please, do not eat us.

I thought he was just going
to play like he was eating us.

Aah!

Aah!

I mean, forget what I just
said and please, do not eat us.

Sorry, guys.

Mmm!

Delicious.

Not quite the savage
display I was expecting.

Give me some space
here, would you, tubby?

Hey, my full figure is part
of my endearing personality.

Oh, yeah? Well, move
your personality over.

I can't breathe.

Well, hate to eat and run.

Suspicion. Quintius feels
something is not right.

Ow! Yow!

Move it, you big... yeow!

Hey! Watch the foot! Ooh!

Is there a problem?

Yecch!

Aw, gee, Pumbaa,
did you have to?

Well, he kicked
me in my stomach.

It wasn't hard to miss.

Aah! There's no way out!

Come on. Let's get out of town!

Man, all these
roads lead to Rome.

Timon, where's simba?

Entrapment! Today
you were the hunter.

Tomorrow you will be the hunted

in a battle to the
death with claudius!

Ha!

Ha ha!

Timon, there's no way we
can sneak simba out of here.

That's why we're
going to get claudius

to forfeit the fight.

And how are we going to do that?

Follow me.

Aah!

Oh, my goodness. Look at that.

You got a big Thorn in your paw.

Ooh! That could get infected.

You should really get
someone to remove it.

Stand back.

I'll remove the Thorn!

Ahh! There.

We removed a Thorn
from your lion-type paw,

so that means
you owe us a favor.

And the favor means you have
to give us anything we want.

That's right! Anything we want.

- Anything?
- Yep.

Gee, anything I want.

Uh, Timon... quiet,
Pumbaa. I'm thinking.

But, Timon... it's not everyday somebody
will give you anything you want.

Alright. Alright. I got it!

But, Timon!

Hyah!

Whee!

Yi hee hee hee!

Whoo! Ha ha!

Yeow!

Timon, I thought the favor
was going to be to ask him

to forfeit the fight,

not to buy you a
motorized skateboard!

Oh, yeah. Right.

Where'd you get that salad?

It's Caesar's.

Now, Pumbaa.

May I have the envelope, please?

Okay, listen up, claudius.

If you fight simba tomorrow,

we'll spread this picture
of you eating salad

all over the seven hills.

Everybody will think
you're a vegetarian.

Your career will be over.

Ha ha ha!

What is it, Timon?

Oy!

It's a picture of us at that big
hakuna matata convention in Orlando.

Ohh!

Only one more, Timon.

That should do it.

Alright, Pumbaa.

This will be as easy
as pulling teeth. Ha ha!

Yes!

Friends, Romans, and romanettes!

Presenting the undefeated
gladiator champion...

Claudius!

And his challenger simba.

Hooray!

Simba, simba, he's our lion!
If he can't do it, we'll be cryin'!

What happened?

We, uh, sort of
kept him up all night

trying to get him
to forfeit the fight.

This was no battle.

Hey, we came, we
saw, we conquered.

And now we're going
to leave, relax, and eat,

so out of the way, toga boy.

Quintius will show
you a real fight.

Oy!

The whole place is going down.

Let's get outta here!

I wanna ride the log flume.

I wanna buy a souvenir.

I wanna ride the log flume.

I wanna buy a souvenir!

I wanna ride the log flume.

I wanna buy a souvenir.

I wanna ride the log flume.

I wanna ride the log flume.

I wanna buy a souve...
eh-eh-eh-eh, Pumbaa.

The old switcheroo reversal
trick won't work on moi.

What switcheroo reversal
trick might that be, Timon?

The one where
you start sayin' that

you want wanna
ride the log flume.

Well, we're doin' what
I want, Mr. Smarty pig,

and we're buyin' a souvenir.

Gee, would you
look at all this stuff?

I mean, what sort
of brain dead tourist

would buy this worthless
over-priced junk?

Yay! Worthless over-priced junk!

Ye-e-e-s?

I don't like meerkats.

Oh, yeah? Well, I don't
like little snot-nosed beavers,

so make like a tree and beat it.

D'oh!

Hey, what'd you do that for?

Aah!

Uh, Timon, two questions.

Why did you
break all this stuff,

and what do you
think of my new hat?

Answer one, I didn't
break all this stuff,

and answer two...

Now, come on. Let's get to
the log flume and start flumin'.

Where do you think
you two are going?

Can't you read?

You break it. You buy it.

And who put you in charge?

This is boss beaver's logland.

And the reason it is called
boss beaver's logland.

Is that I am boss beaver
and this is my logland!

Well, I'm not buying it
because I didn't break it!

It was some little
mook of a kid.

You! Did you see this
alleged mischievous child?

Nope, and frankly,
Timon is prone to lying,

and also, we don't
have any money.

No money?

But you broke it
so you bought it!

And there are other
ways of making you pay.

Pumbaa, from now
on, let me do the talking.

You, no talking.

Me, talking.

- Understand?
- Okay, Timon.

Oops! I didn't mean
to say okay, Timon,

because that's talking.

Oops! Sorry again!

I didn't mean to say
all that stuff I just said

after okay, Timon... oops!

I didn't mean to
say that, either.

Uh-oh! I talked some more. Oops!

Sorry. Oh.

Shut up.

Listen up, new employees.

Your job here at hot log
on a stick is very simple.

You make hot logs on sticks!

Hot logs emerge here.

You plug in sticks,

squeeze on mustard...

Wrap!

Then place in this
log-themed fun tray.

Commence working!

This'll be easy.

We'll have all
that stuff paid for

and be riding the
log flume in no time.

I just want to get my hands
on that little mook of a kid!

Uh, Timon, this
isn't easy anymore!

I'll try to slow it down.

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

Yuh-oh!

Turn off! Turn off!

Let's get down!

Yeah!

How did this happen?

What went wrong? Who
broke my hot log machine?

Hey, don't look at me.

It was that little
mook of a kid again.

You broke it so you bought it!

Great, Timon!

Now how are we
supposed to pay for all this?

It wasn't my fault.

You got to believe me, Pumbaa.

It's not that I don't
believe you, Timon.

It's just that only
you seem to see

this mischievous little beaver.

- Look, there he is!
- Where?

Why, you little... oof!

Now he's over there!

Oof!

There he is! Oof!

Now he's there!

- No, there!
- Oof!

- No, there he is!
- Oof!

Get out of my way!

Oof!

- You broke it so you bought it!
- Oy!

We've gotta be
more careful, Timon!

We've already bought
a storeful of souvenirs,

a hot log on a stick
stand, and a monorail.

We'll be working here
for the rest of our days!

Not if I can get my hands on
that little snot-nosed beaver!

This is his fault, not mine!

There he goes!

Hold this.

But, Timon!

Help! Help! Help, help!

Help!

♪ I hate meerkats,
I hate meerkats ♪

Help!

Whoa!

Whoa whoa whoa!

Wh-aah-oa!

Whoa!

You're not getting
away from me this time.

We know! We know!

We broke it so we bought it.

So what job do you
have for us now?

- What now?
- I'll tell you what now.

I want you to
ride the log flume!

Log flume?

Yeah, boy!

And take my son with you.

Son?

Hello. My name is boy beaver.

The reason I'm called
boy beaver is that I'm a boy

and I'm a beaver.

Hey, that's him!

Who?

That little snot-nosed,
flat-tailed, bit-2 squirt

that keeps causing
all the trouble!

Are you saying my
boy is a bad beaver?

Yeah! He's the one
that broke everything

so you should make him buy it.

Now, now, Timon, settle down.

Let's just take boy
beaver on the log flume.

I'm sure he's a little angel.

Log flume, log flume!

I love going on the log flume!

But dad doesn't have
time to take me on it.

Aww, did you hear that, Timon?

He just needed a
little attention, that's all.

I hate to say I
told you so, Timon,

but I told you boy
beaver was a little angel.

Oh, really? Well, if
he's such a little angel,

how come he's bound
and gagged that guy

and taken over the controls?

Mmm!

I still don't like meerkats.

And I don't like stinky
warthogs, either.

So long, meerkat and warthog!

Aah!

- Aah!
- Aah!

Well, saw my logs. It's true.

You are a bad beaver!

Do you realize what you've done?

If they've broken one
single bone in their bodies,

they'll demand and
exorbitant monetary settlement!

I... trust you trust are okay.

Actually I think my
everything is broken.

But hakuna matata.

We won't be demanding
any sort of exorbitant

monetary settlement.

Whew!

Instead... You broke
it so we're buying it.