03x09 - Circus Jerks/Nest Best Thing

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Pumbaa, what is
that horrible sound?

It's a circus, Timon! Hooray!

Hooray!

Ooh! This is my chance
to become a clown

and make people laugh.

I love the sound
of laughter, Timon.

All right, all right.

I know what laughter
sounds like, Pumbaa.

I'm going to do it, Timon.
I'm going to join the circus

and make the whole world laugh!

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa,
being a clown is a job,

and a job will interfere
with our long-range plan...

Of lying around doing nothing.

We'd bring smiles
to people's faces.

So what?

We'd help them
forget their problems.

Yawn.

We'd be world famous!

This is it, Pumbaa. We're
gonna be world famous.

We'll be walkin' the road
to riches in big funny shoes.

We'll be making
people laugh, Timon.

That's all I need.

Our one-clown show
wasn't getting any laughs,

so I decided to find
some new circus stars.

Just get out there and
follow meanie's lead.

Meanie the clown, huh?

So, uh, how'd you
get the name meanie?

Gee, Timon. He burned us to
a crisp with a giant blowtorch,

but he never told us
why they call him meanie.

Presenting meanie the clown

and his friends,
Timon and Pumbaa!

He still hasn't told us
why they call him meanie.

Boy, those two
stupid guys are terrific!

I still wish I knew why
they call him meanie.

My dream of fame and fortune has
been run over by a little clown car.

Are you all right, Pumbaa?

All right?

I'm fantastic! Listen
to that laughter.

It's music to my ears.

Maybe it was just the
tuba over your head.

Come on, Pumbaa, let's
juggle our way out of here

before he does something like...

Throw us dynamite juggling pins!

Look out!

He still hasn't told us
why they call him meanie.

Boy, those two
stupid guys are terrific!

Those two new
guys are the greatest!

Huh? Why... arrgghh!

Oh, perfect. A laser
beam lapel flower.

Timon, I still can't figure
out why they call him meanie.

Huh?

The funniest thing
in the whole circus!

There's that
wonderful sound again.

A giant unicycle
with a spiked wheel!

Oh, boy! This is
gonna get a big laugh!

Pumbaa, this is horrible.

We've been run over, blown up,
and blasted with a laser by this guy.

Yeah! And the rude thing
is he still hasn't told us

why they call him meanie.

Boy, those two
stupid guys are terrific!

Yeah, they're hilarious!

The funniest thing
in the whole circus...

Circus... circus... circus...

They want Timon
and Pumbaa, not me!

Here! I'm turning
in my big red nose.

I'm laughing on the
outside, crying on the inside.

Laugh, clown, laugh!

I hate my life!

They say laughter is
the best medicine, Timon,

so you and I could
change the world.

By making sick people laugh,
we could heal serious illnesses.

By making world leaders laugh,

we could bring
about world peace.

And by using sweatshop
labor and cheap materials,

we can make a fortune
in tacky merchandising.

Our fans can wipe their noses

from very own Timon and
Pumbaa tissue dispenser.

They could keep their
toilet plunger warm

in their very own
toilet plunger cozy.

And last but not least,

their very own spool
of Timon toe floss

for those hard to reach places.

Will these things
make people laugh?

Who cares? We'll be
laughing all the way to the bank.

And best of all, that meanie the clown
won't be there to bother us anymore.

Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon and Pumbaa!

- Well, we're on.
- Timon and Pumbaa!

Wait a minute, Timon.

What do you mean, meanie
the clown won't be there?

Ah, the mook quit.

Some drivel about us
stealing all his fans away,

his life is over
and it's all our fault,

yada, yada, yada.

Timon, this isn't right.

We wanted to make people laugh

and instead, we're
making someone cry.

Correction, Pumbaa. You
wanted to make people laugh.

Hey, if he is crying, now
would be the time to sell him

a Timon and Pumbaa
tissue dispenser.

Come on, Pumbaa.

Our fans and potential
customers are waiting for us.

No, Timon! I can't go out there,

not without meanie.

All right, well, then,
I'll go on alone.

Who needs either one of ya!

Timon and Pumbaa!

I'm the funniest clown on earth.

I'll just stand here and let
the laughter wash over me.

No need to hold the laughter
in. Go on. Just let it out.

Eh, maybe I need
to smile bigger.

Now, I can tell
you're a little upset.

Clowning is all I
have since I lost mom.

She blew up trying to
blow somebody else up.

Her whole life she
sacrificed for me.

She wore old big funny
shoes with holes in them

so I can have new
big funny shoes.

She wore a big red
nose that was too tight

so I could have
the one that fit.

She worked her fingers to the
bone to put me through clown school,

and now...

Nobody wants me anymore!

We want you, meanie!

Oh, that's the first time
anyone ever said that.

I'm dyin' out here.

I'm no good without meanie.

Why didn't I listen to Pumbaa?
Oh, I could just kick myself!

Meanie! You're back!

The old team is back
together again, Timon!

Come on! Let's make 'em laugh!

Yeah, it's wonderful!

But you know, Timon,
just between you and me,

that clown is pretty mean.

Hey!

Maybe that's why
they call him meanie.

Timon! Ooh, you better
be careful up there!

I refuse to be
beaten by a beetle.

Aah!

Gotcha!

Uh-oh.

Don't worry,
Timon. I'll catch you.

So close... and yet so far.

Oh, look! It's a bird. A
sweet little baby bird.

Hello, sweet little baby bird.
I'm Pumbaa, and that's Timon.

I'm little Jimmy.
I've lost my home.

Oh, did you hear that, Timon?
Little Jimmy's lost his home.

Don't you worry, little Jimmy.

We'll build you a new
home, right, Timon?

Yeah, sure, fine, whatever.

What? Pumbaa,
that sounds like work.

I'll just go get some
wood and some nails,

and we'll build you
a beautiful birdhouse.

Pumbaa, we got
places to go, bugs to eat.

Thank you, Mr. Pumbaa.
You're very kind.

Ah, listen, kid,

my friend and I are far
too busy for this kind of...

You talkin' to me?

You talkin' to me?

Eh, yeah.

Now I'm talkin'!

You're buildin' a house.

Oh. I guess we
could do that, sure.

You'll build it exactly like I tell
ya, or you'll be pushin' up daisies.

Get it?

G-G-Got it.

One more thing.
One word to the pig,

and you'll be pushin' those
daisies from 6 feet under!

Timon, time to
build a birdhouse!

Come on!

Oh, boy, am I glad
to see you, pal.

You won't believe what just!

Gee, Mr. Pumbaa, is
that all for little old me?

Oh, of course!

You deserve the bestest
birdhouse we can build.

Right, Timon?

Of course! Of course
he does. So let's build it.

Build it exactly like he says.

Okay. Now, before
we get started,

we should read the directions.

Read 'em, did 'em, done.

Here you go. Now you can
be on your way. Bye-bye.

What a great job we
did. And so fast, too!

We're quite a team, Timon.

Aw, what's the matter, little Jimmy?
Don't you like your new home?

It's so nice. I'm so grateful...

But...

Could you please add
just a few little extras?

Oh, sure, we could,
couldn't we, Timon?

Yes! Yes, we could!

We could and we should
and we will right now!

Right away! Yes!

Little Jimmy said he
wants a guest room

so that when we visit,
we can rest in peace.

Oh! Yeah...

Mr. Pumbaa, would you mind
building a worm storage unit, too?

Pretty please?

Isn't it great working
together, Timon?

Ohh!

We should take up
extracurricular activities more often.

Ohh!

Well, gotta get more
wood to make the sauna.

You don't do a good job,
you won't be a meerkat.

You'll be a sheared cat!

Might I ask for one more
teensy weensy little thing?

An entertainment
center with stereo, HDTV,

and flight simulator
for when I feel like flying

but don't want to leave home.

Well, okay. Come on, Timon.

I keep trying to get out, but
they keep pulling me back in.

We put the bowling
alley you wanted here...

And the ballroom
you asked for there.

You've done such a nice job.

I guess we're finished...

Except for a security
system, an electric fence,

and a moat.

Gee, little Jimmy, that
sounds kind of complicated.

What do you think, Timon?

Too complicated?

Pumbaa, we're a team.

Together, we can build a security
system, electric fence and moat

in no time.

Isn't it nice little
Jimmy has a hobby?

And bird watching
is so perfect for him.

Pumbaa, I have decided, at
great personal risk to myself,

to reveal to you the dire situation
in which we find ourselves.

The ird-bay wants
to in-skay this at-Kay!

You're a pig! Don't
you speak pig Latin?

Uh, sorry. It's all Greek to me.

Aah!

Ooh! Shadow puppets!

You're so spontaneous, Timon.

I never know what
you're gonna do next.

Hmm. It's a little hard to tell,

but my guess would
be an aboriginal warrior

is sent on a mission to Spain,

where he finds his true love

in a production of swan lake, or
little Jimmy wants to bump you off.

That's what I've
been trying to tell you.

An aboriginal warrior
was sent to Spain?

No! Little Jimmy
wants to bump me off.

Oh, don't be silly, Timon.

Little Jimmy is the most
sweetest baby bird in the world.

He's a wolf! A wolf
in bird's clothing!

Timon, you are mistaken.

Little Jimmy would never
do anything to hurt you.

Mr. Pumbaa, please
try the drawbridge.

Okey dokey, little Jimmy.

I'm telling you, Pumbaa,
the bird wants me extinct!

Don't be silly, Timon.
Little Jimmy is your friend.

Uh, hey, do you hear sirens?

I'm sorry. What did you say? I
couldn't hear you over the sirens.

Shifty, this is the police.
Come out with your hands up!

Captain, you must
have the wrong address.

Sweet little Jimmy lives here.

Come and get me, copper!

I got me a hostage!

You'll never take me alive!

Actually, I prefer
being taken alive.

Up on the wall, meerkat.

Draw a fire.

Now do you believe me, Pumbaa?

Don't worry,
Timon! I'll save you!

This is so unlike little Jimmy.

Pumbaa, we need your help.

Shifty is a tough bird,

and this mansion is the most
impenetrable fortress I've ever seen.

Thank you.

Is there any way
in? Any way at all?

Well, we did put in
a secret entrance.

We were gonna
surprise little Jimmy.

Trust me. He'll be surprised.

The jig's up, shifty!

Drop your g*n!

Drop your g*ns or
the meerkat gets it!

Pumbaa, it's time
for the secret weapon.

Secret weapon?

Oh! Good idea, Timon!

Ohh! What's that smell?

Captain Finch, get him!

Mr. Pumbaa, let me go.

Pretty please?

Well...

Pumbaa!

Oh, yeah.

Little Jimmy, the answer is no.

I'll put a contract out on ya!

Ah, give it a rest, already.

Thanks to you,

this jailbird won't be flying
the Coop anytime soon.

Aw, gee, Timon.

I'm really sorry I believed
little Jimmy instead of you.

He really was a crook.

You were right.

You were right, and I was wrong.

You were right, I was wrong,

and you are the
smartest, brainiest,

high IQest meerkat in
the whole wide world.

You forgot handsomest,
but I'll let it go.

And now that this is all over,

with Pumbaa as my witness,

I will never pick up a hammer,
saw, or any other tool ever again.

Attention! Attention! Shifty
the jailbird has escaped!