03x22 - No-Good Samaritan/Living in De Nile

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Help!

Help!

Those tasty garlic
bugs are right over...

Uh, hello.

No!

Daddy, wait! They just
rescued me from a hyena!

Oh... I see. Well...

How can I ever thank you?

I'm Leopold, king
of the leopards,

and the child you saved
is my daughter Claudia,

light of my life and
heir to my throne.

Follow me to my den,
and I shall reward you.

Reward?

I don't like doing this, Timon.

What, are you nuts? We
got it made from here on in.

But we really didn't
save the king's daughter.

I didn't say we did. I
just didn't say we didn't.

You're taking advantage, Timon.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're just turnin'
the bugs away, aren't you?

I want to go out and play,
daddy. I want to go out and play.

Uh, sorry, my dear.

I must attend to
affairs of state.

You two protected her so well.

Perhaps you'd be kind
enough to be her bodyguards.

Take her out for the day and
see that no harm comes to her.

Aw, gee, your highness...

There's something
you should know.

Yeah! We love the kid, and
we'll take good care of her.

Perform your duty well,

and there may be a position
for you in my royal court.

But, Timon, we don't know
anything about guarding bodies.

What if something bad
happens and she's in real danger?

So we keep her outta
trouble. It's a piece of cake.

Besides, do you want to defy
the king and his great big teeth?

So, where would
you like to go, kid?

I don't get it.

What's so fun about
a big empty field?

It's fun 'cause you never
know what you'll run into.

Like what, a stray tumbleweed?

There's nothin' for miles.

What's that funny
rumbling noise?

Uh-oh!

Wheeee!

Sorry, Timon, but I'm
not your bodyguard!

Wasn't that fun?

Yeah, right. Let's
do that again.

This is my favorite tree.

Isn't it humongous?

So, what's so special
about this tree, anyway?

It's the home of the
world's largest python.

Wheeee!

See, Timon?

I told you something
bad could happen!

Bad. This is bad.

The truth shall set you free!

Never mind the truth.
Somebody get the claws of life!

Go on, Timon, tell the truth,

or would you rather go with
the Princess on another field trip?

All right, all right.

Uh, excuse me, your royalty.

I'd like to talk with you
about this chaperoning thing.

A moment, Timon, while I deal
with some unfinished business.

Guards! Bring forth the accused!

It was your responsibility to look
after my daughter this morning.

Why, if not for the bravery
of these two good Samaritans,

she might've been
seriously injured!

You know the price

for failing to
perform your duty!

Now. Was there something
you wished to ask me?

Do you think this shirt
makes me look chubby?

Oh, no. I'm not goin'
in there. Uh-uh. No way.

But this cave has really
big, cool, gnarly bugs!

How bad can it be?

Somebody call an exterminator,

a big exterminator!

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

when first we
practice to deceive!

Just get me outta here!

Think you could save
me a little faster next time?

Last one is a rotten egg!

Hey, Pumbaa, this
isn't so bad after all.

Oh.

Come to your senses, Timon.

This time you've got to
tell king Leopold, the truth.

Oh, sure. I'll tell him.

Soon as you help
me find my lips.

Uh... uh, what was
the truth again?

We didn't rescue his
daughter in the first place,

so we don't deserve the
reward of being her bodyguards.

Oh, yeah.

Can't you see I'm busy?!

Sorry to interrupt
you, but, uh...

You have no complaints
about your job, I trust.

Oh, no, no. Great job.

Love it, actually.
That is, we, uh...

You are trying my Patience!

Now...

What is it that you want?

Uh... do you have
change for a dollar?

Oh. No? Oh, yeah.

No pockets. Me, either. Bye-bye.

Yes?

Do you have the correct time?

See, this watch thing stopped.
It was probably the rock slide.

Oh... never mind.

What is it now?

Uh, read any good books lately?

This... better be good!

Uh... can I borrow
a cup of sugar?

Oh, yeah. Of course.
Sugar. Bad for the teeth.

Sorry. I better get back. Bye.

Ohhh...

You really know how
to pick 'em, Princess.

Where exactly are we?

It's the sacred forbidden burial
ground of the bull elephant.

It's got a really
cool curse on it.

Which would be?

Never mind.

Whoa! Is it scary or what?

Leopold, I can't
take it anymore.

Pumbaa and I didn't save
your daughter from that hyena.

We're yellow, spineless,
Lily-livered cowards.

There. I said it. Go ahead
and tear us limb from limb.

I don't care anymore!

At least it'll be
quick. It will, won't it?

Too quick! Too quick!

Timon...

I am impressed.

Huh?

Ooh!

If there's one thing I admire
more than courage, it's honesty.

Now, that wasn't so
bad, was it, Timon?

No, Pumbaa, it wasn't.
You've been right all along.

The truth is rewarding.

In fact, you have set such a
fine example for my daughter,

I'm going to give
you a promotion.

See, Pumbaa? What did I tell ya?

I want you to look
after my 2 boys.

You see, my daughter's
a bit of a daredevil.

But, she is an angel
compared to them.

Ancient Egypt.

I can't tell ya how long I've
wanted to visit this place.

Me, too, Timon, and thanks
to my handy travel guidebook,

I've got our entire
trip all planned out.

We're going to
visit glorious ruins,

shop in charming casbahs,

frolic amid the sand dunes,

get to know an ancient
civilization intimately.

Who needs it? Listen, I
came here for the beetles.

Scarab beetles...

The tastiest, crunchiest, most
delectablest bug in all the world.

Sounds yummy, Timon, but
frolicking in the sand was gonna be

the highlight of my trip.

Pumbaa, my porcine pal, there's
an ancient Arabian proverb...

Neither warthog nor meerkat
shall frolic on an empty stomach.

First we eat, then we frolic.

Oh, goody.

Nothing makes me happier than warm,
scrunchy sand nestled between my toes.

Right, right. Let's track
down those beetles.

Uh-oh.

There's something in my
handy travel guidebook

that you should know, Timon.

I am not the least bit
interested in what it says

in that ridiculous book, Pumbaa.

If we are to succeed,
you must follow me.

But, Timon...

Come here, you tasty morsel!

Come on! Ha ha!

Gotcha!

Say, Pumbaa...
why the long face?

Never mind my hat.

Timon, you just broke

one of the most ancient
laws of ancient Egypt.

- I did? What do you mean?
- Look!

Eating the sacred scarab
beetle of ancient Egypt

is punishable by spending eternity
locked inside a musty old pyramid.

Yeah, right. Like that's
really gonna happen.

For eating the
sacred scarab beetle,

I, Tutun Pharaoh,

sentence you to spend eternity
locked in a musty old pyramid.

Eh... you talkin' to us?

Whooh! Good thing this
tomb has a night-light.

Night-light?

Night-light?

We are locked inside a pyramid

with no hope of escape,
and all you can say is,

"good thing we
have a night-light"?!

Hey, look! Funny hats!

How did we end up in this mess?

How, Pumbaa, how?

Hmm. Let's see.

Could it be because
you ignored my advice?

Nah.

Listen, Pumbaa, we
gotta get outta here.

I'm claustrophobic!

Uh, let's see what it says
in my handy guidebook.

I am sick of your
stupid guidebook!

Sick, sick, sick of
it! Do you hear me?!

Do you hear me?

Uh, I'm standing
right here, Timon.

If we could just hit that
lever with something heavy...

Hey! My handy guidebook!

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa,
that has no chance of...

Working.

You gotta admit, Timon, my
guidebook did come in handy.

That's probably why they call
it the handy travel guidebook.

What does it say, Timon?

How should I know? I'm only
dressed like an archaeologist.

Lucky for us my handy guidebook
contains a hieroglyphic dictionary.

Somehow, I knew it would.

Ohh! Oh, no!

What? What?

It says...

"Whoever passes through this
chamber shall incur the mummy's curse."

Oh, come on, you big baby.

But my handy guidebook
says this chamber is c-c-cursed!

Pumbaa, that book
is ruining our fun.

I'm tellin' ya, there's no such
thing as a mummy's curse.

I want my mommy!

Which one is yours, Timon?

Uh, Pumbaa, could I interest you in
running like your life depended on it?

Well, see now, Timon, you
never listen to my advice,

but I often take your advice.

For example, this situation...

Pumbaa... runnnn!

Pumbaa, what are we gonna do?

Well, first of all, from now on,
you are going to listen to my advice.

There's not gonna
be any "from now on"!

The horror. The stench!

Yeah. We gotta open a window.

I never thought fresh
air could smell so good!

I wouldn't know.

Uh, Timon, I think
we took a wrong turn.

We'd better go this way.

No, Pumbaa, we're
going that way.

Timon, my handy travel
guidebook says this way is safer.

Now, you know what happens
when you don't follow my advice!

Pumbaa, I follow my instincts,
my sixth and seventh senses,

things you couldn't
possibly understand.

I gotta agree with you there.

How did 2 camel humps
like you get into my harem?

Two for one sale?

Careful, Timon. That column
doesn't look very sturdy.

Pumbaa, it's solid granite.

It's not like it's
gonna topple over,

starting a domino chain reaction,
destroying the entire temple.

Timon, you're starting
to hurt my feelings.

Could you maybe
listen to me once?

Just once?

No.

Timon, we never had
no climbing lessons!

This could be awfully dangerous!

Dangerous?

Mountain climbing?

Come on, Pumbaa,
quit being such a w...

Look, Pumbaa, an oasis.

That's odd.

It's not listed in my
handy travel guide.

We'd better proceed
with caution, Timon.

Yeah, sure. Like it's some
kind of trap or something.

I... Tutun Pharaoh...
Sentence you to spend eternity

in a musty old pyramid... again!

We'll never escape now.

Maybe we will if
you'll just listen to me.

Quiet, Pumbaa.
I'm trying to think.

Will you listen to me?

Did you say something?

Listen to me!

Yeesh. Okay, okay!

Timon, you think
you know everything.

But you're living in
denial over the fact

that I know lots of
important things, too.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Well, for example, this.

So?

Timon, these are the
pyramid blueprints.

There's an elevator leading
to a secret escape hatch.

We could use it to escape eternity
locked in this musty old pyramid.

Oh, all right.

Going up.

Yeoww!



Seasonal notions,
ladies' undergarments,

and secret escape hatch.

Great. Now, how are we
supposed to get down from here?

You brought a sled to Egypt?

That's right!

Maybe next time we travel, you'll
ask my advice on what to bring.

That I will,
Pumbaa. That I will.