03x38 - Timon in Love/Kahuna Potato

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Huh?

Aww...

I can make anyone
fall in love! Ha ha!

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

Would you look at that, Pumbaa?
Those poor, pathetic mooks,

trapped into love by
cupid's stupid arrows.

You'll never find me acting
the fool over some girl.

Arrow of love, bring this mook
to his knees by making him love

the first meerkat he sees!

Yah!

The first meerkat he sees.

Oh, Timon! Look
at that big water bug!

Where?

Pumbaa, have you ever noticed the
cute little dimple I get when I smile

or the way my nose kind of
crinkles up both when I laugh...

And when I smell you?

No, I really hadn't noticed.

Pumbaa, I think I'm in love.

With who?

With... me!

You can't be in
love with you, Timon.

You've known yourself
such a long time

and you've always
just been good friends.

Yeah. That's just it. I've been right
here under my own nose the whole time.

Do you think I know I like me?

Gee, Timon, I guess you must.

But will I like me back?

Do you think I have
a shot at me at all?

Well, uh, no one would
know that better than you.

Pumbaa, ask me if I like me but
don't let me know I want to know.

Uh, sorry, Timon. That
kind of burned out my brain.

I know what I need. I need to
spend some time with myself.

I love me... I love me not...

I love me... I love me not...

Well, they say
love is... a mystery.

Pumbaa, the most
amazing thing just happened.

I asked me for a
date and I said yes!

Gee, this is exciting, Timon,
although it is a little strange.

Oh, my gosh, I should
be here any moment!

I can't wait to meet you.

You are gonna love
me. I'm perfect for me.

I understand myself so well.

Why, I know what I'm going
to say before I even say it!

I'm happy for you, Timon.

You're a lucky guy... uh, guys.

That must be me.

Wh-whoa! aah!

Mmm-mmm-mmm

h-ha!

Oh, uh, sorry.

I think it was the snails.

You see, I'm mostly
used to eating bugs.

Oh, hi, Timon.
Uh... where's Timon?

To tell you the truth, Pumbaa,
I'm not seeing myself anymore.

Oh, Pumbaa, the thrill is gone!

What happened?

Familiarity breeds
contempt, Pumbaa.

I finally seen the
flaws in myself.

Uh, flaws? You?

Come on! You're expecting
too much from yourself.

No, really. Have you ever noticed
that ugly dimple I get when I smile?

Or the irritating way my nose crinkles
up when I laugh and when I smell you?

I thought you liked those
things about yourself.

I used to, Pumbaa, but
now they're driving me crazy!

Gee... do you
know about this yet?

No, Pumbaa. I haven't
had the nerve to tell me.

Oh, let's face it. I haven't
been honest with myself.

I've got that
love-hate thing going.

I'm just too possessive!
I'm stifling me!

And worst of all, I
don't get my jokes.

Wow! Nothing worse than a
codependent relationship with yourself.

You know, most
problems in a relationship

have to do with communication.

Maybe you should have
a little talk with yourself.

Good idea, Pumbaa.

Okay... Oh...

But... But... but

but... But... But...
But... oh, okay!

Hmm.

Well, Pumbaa, we've decided
the problem isn't me, it's you.

Me? But I...

Tut, tut, you know
what they say, Pumbaa.

Two's company, two's a crowd.

You mean... you don't want
me hanging around anymore?

Hey, you can hang
around. Just not with us.

Who needs a bestest, best buddy
when you've got a good hobby?

Pumbaa, buddy, pal, amigo...

Please, you've got to help me!

I think not, Timon.

I've reached a
crossroads with myself.

I don't know what to do!

I refuse to get embroiled in
your tawdry little soap opera.

But, Pumbaa, it's
all going too fast!

I asked to meet my parents,

but I don't think I'm ready
for that kind of commitment!

So why don't you just
stop seeing yourself?

I can't do that! I
can't live without me!

Timon, I think it's time for
you and you to get married.

Pumbaa, you're right!

Oh, Pumbaa, will
you give me away?

Gladly.

Ah... I got back just in time.

Arrow of blue, give
this poor mook a break.

Aah!

Make him fall out of love
and correct my mistake.

Uh, Pumbaa, what are we doing?

You are about to marry yourself.

Can't we find
something better to do?

Yes, we can!

Come on, Pumbaa,
let's go eat some bugs.

Something really strange
happened to me, didn't it, Pumbaa?

Yes, it did.

But you stuck by me
anyway, didn't you?

Yes, I did, Timon!

Thanks.

You're a real buddy. You
would've made a great best man.

Uh, father of the bride.

Don't ask.

Alright, Pumbaa, let her rip!

How was that, Timon?

Bull's-eye!

Oh, no, you don't. You're
not going anywhere.

And, you, come back here.

Hey, Pumbaa, I think those crawlies up
there call for your special technique.

I'll get 'em!

We got a bagful of bugs
and the rest of the afternoon

to lay around and eat them.

Pumbaa, if this ain't the
life, I don't know what is.

It's hakuna matata, Timon.

Hakuna matata, eh?

Oh, hey there, tumbaa, pimon...

I'm pimon. He's tumbaa.

Oh. Sorry.

Did I say you could speak?

Now, what's this,
uh, hakuna matata?

It's our carefree philosophy.

Yeah. No worries for us.

You know, boys, we got a
philosophy too. It's called...

Oh, I don't know,
uh, kahuna potato.

And it's all about
how you better worry.

'Cause this philosophy of our own means
we're never going to leave you alone.

Ugh! Ow!

Ow!

Atomic wedgies!

That's one philosophy
I could do without.

If only there was
something we could do

to stop those creeps
from picking on us.

Dah!

There is.

Pumbaa, we're going
to learn how to fight.

Come on, Rafiki,
you got to teach us

how to defend ourselves with
that chop-sockey fighting stuff

you're always doing.

Snatch these bugs from my palm

when you can and give
you a kung fu secret I will.

So all I got to do
is snatch the bugs

and you'll tell us
the secret of kung fu?

Ow! Rats!

Your training begins.

Pumbaa-yin and Timon-Yang.

Timon-Yang? That's just great.

This is the monkey
way to gather the fruit.

You hop and you pick.

Yes, yes, yes. Keep up
the hopping and the picking.

Ow! Ugh...

Ow!

Now the monkey
way to make the juice.

Squeeze...

And stir.

First, you squeeze...

And then you stir.

First, you squeeze...

And then you stir.

That's it! Pumbaa-yin,
I've figured it out!

We drink this
magic kung fu elixir

and then we'll become invincible
martial arts k*lling machines!

Oh. When we're k*lling machines,
can I still call you Timon-Yang?

Swell.

All that work so Rafiki can
talk like a fortune cookie,

drink banana shakes
and sleep all day!

We are here to learn to fight!

I'm going to snatch those bugs from
his hand and learn that kung fu secret.

Something you
wanted, Timon-Yang?

No, just hopping
and hiding... ow-ing.

That's the last
one, Pumbaa... yin?

No, no, no, no. You are
not yet ready, Timon-Yang.

And how can I be ready
when you haven't taught me

a thing about kung fu fighting?

Timon-Yang, the real
spirit of the martial arts

is obviously to be bold,

drink banana juice and take
naps a lot like master Rafiki.

You're starting to sound
too much like the monkey.

We're outta here.

I have been teaching
you nincompoops kung fu!

The secret fighting
style known as...

Shaolin crazy monkey-style!

You try it.

Monkey hops.

Monkey picks.

Monkey squeezes and stirs.

Pumbaa-yin, we
finally learned kung fu!

Those bullies are so
going to be chop suey.

I don't know, Timon-Yang.

I think I've grown past
the need to get revenge.

Learning kung fu has enlightened
me to how pointless fighting is.

And besides, you still
haven't snatched the bugs.

You were saying?

Alright, master
Rafiki, start yakking.

What's your mysterious
martial arts secret?

Your kung fu is good, but inner
strength you need to prevail.

You are not ready.

Oh, we're ready and we've got a
date with lady destiny to prove it!

We'll write when we
meet lady destiny.

Uh... whoever she is.

So!

You think you're so cute
with the soft, puffy fur.

And the big, shiny eyes.

Ow!

Hold it! That's enough!

So. You've learned
Chinese kung fu.

Shaolin, crazy monkey-style!

You took our bugs and
dishonored our name!

You must pay!

Hye-ee-yah!

Your monkey-style kung fu is no
match for our big-bad-bully style.

So, now, we will fight and
beat you up good. Huh?

Okay. Hmm!

Timon-Yang, can we
stop talking like this now?

Hmm. Sure! Hnn!

Monkey hops!

Hyah!

Monkey picks!

Hoo-hah!

Monkey squeezes!

Ohh... Monkey stirs!

Whee!

Ay-ay-ay-ay...

Shaolin crazy monkey kung fu!

Heh.

Ow! My eyes!

Hey! No fair! Time out!

Golly, I'm sorry.

You guys okay?

Suckers!

So much for crazy
monkey-style kung fu!

Pumbaa-yin, Timon-Yang,

you have always had
what you needed to win.

The key is to be...

Who you are.

Isn't that why we
keep getting beat up?

Yeah!

I'm talking about
using hakuna matata!

Ha-ku-na ma-ta-ta!

Oh, never mind.

Hey, Timon, you think maybe

Rafiki means that hakuna matata

is the key to our own
special kung fu style?

At this point,
anything's worth a shot.

Hakuna matata kung fu!

Huah!

Annoying meerkat style!

You are ugly and your
mom dresses you funny.

Meerkat-runs-for-his-life
technique!

Warthog-is-hardheaded style!

Oww!

Let's finish them!

Time for the most
powerful kung fu of all!

Warthog-is-really-stinky
technique!

Ai-hyah!

Maybe you and Rafiki were onto
something with that be-who-you-are

hakuna matata stuff.

I'm just glad we
figured it out in time.

Say, Timon,

what are we going to
do with the bullies now?

You know, I've got an idea.

Spoon and feed...

And spoon and feed.