01x03 - Pain k*ller

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A darkside.

[dramatic orchestral music
playing over TV]

Was that a caramel?

You're on a diet.

I love caramels.

They stick to your teeth.

What page you on?

I'm almost finished.

Don't lie to me,
Harvey.

How you ever going
to pass that test tomorrow?

With a computer.

Never make fun of computers.

How many times
have I told you?

It's the future.
It's the future.

Read, Harvey, so you can be an
executive like my brother Sid.

I work for Sid.

In his parts
department.

After 31 years,
don't we deserve more?

I'm going to
get more coffee.

I'll hold your place.

[groaning]

[thud]
Nadine.

Harvey, did you say something?

Please, come here.

Speak up! I can't hear you.

I think I threw my back out.

If you're going to spend
all night in the kitchen...

You're lying
on the floor.

My back.

Yes. You're lying on the floor
on your back.

Why?

I was picking up a teaspoon

when something happened
to my spine.

Should I call the doctor?

Just let me
lie here awhile.

Should I bring the book
so you can study?

I don't think so, Nadine.

Oh.

[thunder crashing]

It's past
midnight, darling.

Aren't you coming to bed?

I can't make it
to bed, darling.

I'll have to spend
the night here.

On the kitchen floor?

It's where I happen to be,
darling.

This is the first time
we've been separated

since we got married.

Darling, would you please
get me a blanket?

Sure.

[thunder crashing]

I hope this will be all right.

I didn't want to put
a good blanket

on the floor.

Thank you.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Sweet dreams.

[thunder crashing]

Nadine!

Nadine!

What's the matter?

Nadine!

What's the matter?

There's someone
out there.

Out where?

The window. A face.

Darling,
it's raining cats and dogs.

Why would anyone be out there?

But, Nadine,

it was so real. I thought...

Look, Harvey,

if you want to sleep
next to the refrigerator

like some household animal,
it's okay with me.

But it's getting late,
and I have to go to bed.

Good night.

Good morning. I'm Dr. Roebuck.

It's you.

I beg your pardon?

You were at my window.

You saw me?

My husband imagined
he saw somebody
outside our window

last night, Doctor.

But that's his face.

I could pick him out in a crowd.

Your husband must have been
in terrible pain

if he hallucinated a face
like mine.

I was.

I can still not move very well.

Let's see.

According to your doctor, your
back went out all of the sudden.

I was picking
up a teaspoon.

Nasty things, teaspoons.

What do you do for a living?

Parts department.

[groaning]:
Automobile dealership.

But he's studying to be
a computer programmer, Doctor.

Let's, uh... look at the X-ray.

How am I?

I would say there's absolutely
nothing wrong with your back.

I told him he had
to be exaggerating.

I mean,
all that groaning,

and practically making
me carry him in here.

Mrs. Turman,
your husband

is definitely
in severe pain.

I meant there's
nothing visibly wrong.

Then what is it?

Tension,
most likely.

You worried
about something?

No. Well, that computer class
I'm taking.

Uh... I can never really
feel I... that I understand it.

I mean, not like pistons
and carburetors.

That's because you don't
apply yourself enough, darling.

I'm putting you
on a muscle relaxant.

Give me a call in
a couple of weeks.

NADINE:
I hope you won't be
out of work too long.

Or miss too many classes.

We'll be all right.

I've got two weeks
sick pay coming.

Maybe I shouldn't buy
that silk blouse I saw,

even though
it is on sale.

You can get it, Nadine.

I can't decide which
one looks best on me,

the blue or the red.

Actually, it would be nice
to get it in both colors.

If you're really sure

that you're going to go
back to work pretty soon.

Sure. I'm telling you,
we have nothing to worry about.

Harvey, you're the best
husband a girl ever had.

Oh!

Harvey,

what are you doing?

Are you trying
to scare the wits out of me?

You like it?

My physical therapist
brought it today for me to try.

How much is he charging us
for that ridiculous contraption?

Only $350, but we don't have
to pay for it if...

$350?!

What, are we
supporting his family?

First, he comes
here three times a week,

at $35 a visit,
twice a month.

And now he tries
to sell you that?

But if it helps?

The doctor
didn't help.

The chiropractor
didn't help.

The Chinese man sticking
needles into you didn't help.

What makes you think
it'll be better this time?

I'll try anything, Nadine.

Do you ever consider what
this is putting me through?

Look at the lines
around my eyes, Harvey.

They weren't there
two months ago.

I see what you mean.

I'm getting old, Harvey.

You've been out of work so long,
they may fire you.

And our savings shrink
every week.

What are we
going to do?

More coffee, darling?

No, thanks.

I don't want to be late
my first morning back.

You look wonderful.

100%.

You were
giving in to it.

That was
your problem.

See you tonight.

Don't forget
your lunch.

Oops. Almost forgot.

[classical music playing
on radio]

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
It's 7:45; we continue now
with The Classical Hour.

Take it easy, honey.

[groans]

Please
don't help me!

Harvey, I don't know how much
more of this I can stand.

Just give me
a couple of minutes.

Maybe I can make it
to work after all.

I certainly hope so,
with all the money we owe.

Charlie says there's
a part-time cashier's job open

at the dealership.

You might want
to talk to him.

Me? Work as a cashier?

Just temporarily.

I have enough to do,
thank you.

But money is such a problem.

Even if I did go back
to work, I...

If?

Is it "if" now?

Of course not. I meant...

I wonder how much of this
back pain is real, Harvey?

You really seem to enjoy laying
around all day long

and being served like a king.

How can you say that?

Has anybody ever
pinpointed your problem?

A slipped disc? Pinched nerves?

Anything at all

to back up your claim?

Nadine, I'm in constant pain.

[groans]

You are a constant
pain, Harvey.

I'm sorry, but that's
the way I feel.

[phone ringing]

Hello!

Oh, yes, Dr. Roebuck,
he's here.

Hello. Dr. Roebuck.

I'm afraid so.

As bad as ever.

You can?

You're sure?

Oh, I'll be there.

Don't you worry, I'll be there.

He can cure me.

He absolutely
guarantees it.

My cure is quite simple.

Provided, of course,
you agree to it.

Doctor, I'll agree to anything.

I knew you would.

Well, then, Harvey,

all we have to do is
m*rder your wife.

Doctor, could you
say that again?

Well, as I see it, your wife
is the source of your pain.

Therefore, to get rid
of the pain,

you get rid
of the wife.

Get rid of the wife?

Harvey, your suffering
has no physical cause.

But your emotions are
tearing you apart.

Anxiety, suppressed anger,
hostility, frustration.

And the source of
all these...

Nadine?

You could divorce
her, of course,

but she'd get half of
everything, forever.

Community property,
unfortunately,

is not conducive
to relieving lower back pains.

Nadine.

So you see,

we simply have to do
away with Nadine.

What do you mean, do away?

An accident.

What kind of accident?

Oh, a happy accident.

A happy accident?

Doctor, is this some kind of
psychology to make me relax?

If you think there's
any other way...

Harvey, concentrate
for a moment.

Imagine what Nadine's
face looks like.

Those cold eyes, that smug
expression, the hard smile.

How would it happen?

That's not your problem.

As I said,

all I need is
your consent.

Sure.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

Huh.

She went shopping.

Sure, tomorrow.

And, Charlie, thanks again.

Good-bye.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

This is Mr. Turman.

What?

An accident?

The street?

Oh, my God.

Nadine.

Of course.

I'll be right there.

Nadine.

Accident.

[over TV]:
Bud, our next
challenger please.

BUD:
Right, Bob.

She's a veterinary intern
from Iowa City, Iowa

in Los Angeles on vacation.

Would you welcome
Sharon Rafelson.

[applause]

I'm okay.

My back doesn't hurt me anymore.

[doorbell ringing]

Mr. Turman?

[mumbles]

My name is Ann Tracy.

Can I speak to you for a moment?

Six weeks ago when your wife
was crossing the street,

I was the person
driving the car.

It's taken me all
this time to,

to find the courage
to come here.

I haven't had a quiet hour,

since that terrible day,
Mr. Turman.

Please, forgive me.

[mumbling]

I can understand it's hard
for you to talk about this.

[mumbling]

Please, Mr. Turman.

It wasn't my fault.

I didn't have any choice.

[over telephone]:
This is Dr. Roebuck.

I was wondering how your back
felt these days?

Perfect, like nothing
ever happened.

Well, I would like to see you
again for a final checkup.

No charge, of course.

Thanks Dr. Roebuck, but, uh,
I'm feeling fine. Honestly.

Backs can be tricky things,
Harvey.

I really wouldn't feel
comfortable,

if I didn't check you out
one last time.

Well, okay, sure.

Tomorrow, 3:00?

3:00.

See you then.

Harvey, you look, uh, well.

I feel great.

I told you it would
work, didn't I?

What would work?

Getting rid of her, of course.

Doctor, it was an accident.

Oh, yes, uh... a happy accident.

Doctor, an old lady lost control
of the car.

Mrs. Tracy.

Yes, uh, she brought it off
quite well, I thought.

Are you trying to make me think
that she hit Nadine on purpose?

I don't believe you.

Oh, you agreed to it.

Now, according to the rules.

Rules?

What are you talking about?

We made a deal, Harvey.

You're crazy.

And you're ungrateful.

When I think of what
you put Mrs. Tracy through,

that dear, sweet old lady.

She wasn't ungrateful.

I met Mrs. Tracy.

And she would never
m*rder anyone.

Nor would you, in the normal
course of events.

Right.

A certain patient of mine has
unendurable migraine headaches.

Now, they're triggered by her
father's constant demands

for attention.

I'd like you to k*ll him.

Me?

You.

Forget it.

Fair is fair, Harvey.

Someone else did it
for Mrs. Tracy,

she did it for you,
now it's your turn.

I'm gonna report you.

I'm gonna report you.

I don't know to whom, but I'm
gonna have you put away.

[doorknob rattling]

The door?

What is this?

The door doesn't open!

[yelling]

Or perhaps for variety,

you'd prefer to sample
a migraine headache?

You did that to me.

You caused me all this pain.

Don't worry.

We'll have you up
and around in no time.

This is her father's name
and address.

Who are you?

Please, do it as
quickly as possible.

Harvey, my patient is
in a lot of pain.

But who are you?

[thunder crashing]

[evil laughter]

NARRATOR:
The darkside is always there,
waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time,
try to enjoy the daylight.