04x12 - The Deal

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

-[sighs]
-[knocking continues]

-Hey.
-Hey.

-l brought your mail.
-Thanks.

Another rejection.

How do you know?
You haven't even opened it yet.

Donald, if they like it,
they call.

[growls]

Diablo, come on.

[snaps fingers]

Ten years l've been
at this, Donald. Ten years!

And what do l have
to show for it?

A file full
of rejections and a...

...crummy room in this
flea-bitten hole-in-the-wall.

l haven't seen any fleas here.

You got any fleas, honey? Huh?

God, l've give anything
to sell a script-- anything.

Oh, really?

[sighs]

[chuckles]:
You hear that?

[Diablo growls]

Um... [clears throat]

Listen, in that case, uh,
w-why don't l just, uh,

take this home a-and give it
a quick read-through?

What do you say?

No, l... l
could offer you

some suggestions, maybe.

l majored in English.

lt wouldn't do any good, Donald.

lt's not the script,
it's who you know.

You mean it's not the movie,
it's... it's the deal, huh?

Yeah, you got it,
and l know nobody.

You know me.

Right.

l'm serious, kid.

l got a number of important
contacts in this town.

lf you want,
l'll take it home

and l'll give it
a quick read-through,

and l-l'll tell you
what l think.

Let's just see what goes
with this next mailing, okay?

Okay by me.

Come on, let's go home, Diablo.

-You think it over, will you?
-Yeah, l will.

Okay, take it easy.
Come on, Diablo.

Bye, kid.

l hate it when it gets this hot.

l kind of like it.

[door creaks]

[sighs]

[chuckling quietly]

[mutters]:
Come on.

[chuckles]

[siren wailing in distance]

Tom?

lt's me, Donald.

Tom, l... l took your scripts

to some friends
of mine to read.

Great.

No, no, Tom...

Look at this-- l mean it.

Donald, this is a contract!

[Donald laughs]

From Pacific Pictures!

[laughing]:
l know.

l took it to Global, see?

But Global wanted to do it
as a movie-of-the-week.

l hope you don't mind.

Mind? This is fantastic!

How in the hell
did you do this?

Just like you said,
it-it's all who you know.

l don't believe this!

See if you can believe this.

$20,000?!

Donald, you're a genius!

[laughing]

l'll be damned!

You said it.

[cackling]

Come here.

[Donald laughs]

Whoo!

[laughing]

Beautiful. Beautiful.
l love it.

lt's so high-concept.

Okay, babe,

have your girl call my girl,
and we'll do lunch.

Ciao, bella.

WOMAN:
Excuse me, sir.

l'm Tom Dash.

Do you want me
to call security?

Uh, it's okay, sweetheart.

Uh, be a good girl
and go get us

a couple of cups
of coffee, will you?

No. Thanks.

Hey, Tom, what'd you think

of that sneak preview?
Beautiful, wasn't it?

lt was garbage.

You destroyed my film!

Take it easy.
Want a drink?

l want to know how you could
take a sensitive story

about a mother
and her lost child

and turn it
into a heavy metal rock video.

We just had to slide
a few numbers in here and there,

just to keep the story moving.

The dialogue had the action

if you'd just
let the actors say it.

Tommy, today's audiences--

they're not into dialogue.

Neither are you.

Tommy, Tommy, baby, grow up.

This is the real world.

When the grosses come in,

and your film is at the top
of the box office receipts,

you'll have
a whole different attitude.

Tommy, you're gonna happen.

Trust me.

l want you to call my girl

and we'll do lunch
at Sambuca's, all right?

Now, listen, l'll bet you got
a project somewhere, huh?

One that's in the back
of your mind.

Something you've been dying
to do.

Am l right?

What do you say?

Sure, Vince.

Tommy, you're beautiful.

Don't change.

l love you.

[sighs]

Schmuck.

[knocking]

Come in.

-Hey.
-Hey.

How'd it go, kid?

[sighs]

Don't even ask.

Hmm. That bad, huh?

♪ Sorry. ♪

l give 'em art,
and they give me back crap.

Ooh!

The money was in the limousine,
not on the screen, eh?

What do those guys know
about making movies, anyway?

Just a bunch of accountants

who wouldn't know a jump cut if
it bit 'em in the bottom line.

Hey, just once,

l'd like to have the power,
just once.

l'm gonna get you that power.

Come on, Donald.

You got me that deal somehow.

What are you gonna do, make me

-a movie mogul?
-Yup.

Don't be ridiculous.

Who do you think you are?

l'm the Devil.

Yeah?

Where-Where's your horns
and tail?

[laughing]:
No, no...

Tom, please.

That-That...
That's in cartoons.

Tha-That...

l'm the real stuff.

And the Devil can do anything
he wants...

for a price.

What, ten percent?

More.

Twenty?

You talking about my soul?

[laughs]

[laughing]:
You're crazy, Donald.

You're flipped out.

You've been watching
too much bad TV.

l like bad TV.

You think it over, kid.

l mean, like l said before:
it's not the movie,

it's the deal, right?

And that's the deal.

Okay, Donald,
so you say you're the...

[Donald laughing]

l thought you said
you didn't have a tail.

l lied. [laughs]

Uh, l don't believe this.

You want... you want
to feel my horns?

No. Thanks.

Uh...

lf you lied to me about these,

how can l trust you to help me?

Oh, come on, kid.

Who can you trust
in this town?

That never stopped anybody
from doing business.

Besides, you want
to run the whole show or what?

You mean, sign with you?

Sure. l know l got a contract
here somewhere.

Here, let's see...

Actors,

producers, accountants.

There-- writers.

There we go.

Couldn't we do it on spec?

Spec?

l never work on spec.

But we're talking
about giving up my soul.

Come on, kid.

Half this town operates
without one just fine,

and the other half is just
waiting to make the deal.

Besides, it's the chance
of a lifetime.

[Donald chuckles]

There you go.

Ah.

[Donald laughs]

You're gonna love this one,
babe.

lt's got all the elements
of every hit picture

of the last 20 years
crammed together into one plot.

-Can't miss.
-Really, Vincent?

WOMAN [over intercom]:
Mr. Dash is here.

Oh, send him right in.

Hi, Tom. Nice of you to come
on such short notice.

What's this all about?

You better ask him.

Kingsley Diamond,

meet Tom Dash,
one of Hollywood's

hottest young screenwriters.

Pleasure.

Kingsley here
is Chief Executive Officer

of Tropical Fruit,
our parent company.

Please, please.

WOMAN [over intercom]:
There's a call for you on four.

l told you to hold all calls.

WOMAN:
lt's Jerry.

[sighs]: Oh, that jerk!
Uh, excuse me.

Jerry, sweetheart.

Haven't l met you
someplace before?

Maybe shopping.

You go to Rodeo Drive?

No, l can't afford it.

Don't worry.

You will... very soon.

VlNCENT:
No, no, no, let me tell

you something-- if he's not on
that set at 8:00 in the morning,

l'll personally see to it

that he never works
in this town again.

Agents!
Why did God create them?

Same reason he made flies.

[snickers]

That's good, King.

l love it. l love it.

Now, what's happening here?

l got movies to make.

Not anymore, Vince.

We gotta let you go.

What-What... What are you
talking about here, King?

Come on, you're kidding me,
aren't you?

[chuckles]

No, no, l'm serious.

You're through, you're gone,
you're history.

Tom here's what's happening now.

Him?

He's just a slob
with a word processor.

What the hell does he know
about making movies?

Kingsley,
what are you talking about?

You can't do this to me,
Kingsley.

l got the house in Malibu.

Kimberly's suing me
for palimony.

King, baby, have a heart here.

Vincent, please, please.

Pull yourself together.

lt's nothing personal.

lt's just business.

But we had a deal.

l trusted you.

Oh, all right,
all right, Vincent.

l can always use guys like you.

You see?

l'm much too soft.

You know what l'll do
for you, Vincent?

l'll ship Dietz over to Global,

and l'll shuttle the guy

from Global off somewhere.

Maybe to... to Worldstar.

And l'll kick Brewster upstairs
at Liberty.

And l'll move you in
right there.

Thanks, King. Thank you.

[chuckles]

All right, Vincent--
please, go.

We have pictures to make here.

[chuckles]

You're gonna love King.

He's a great boss.

Vincent.

Right.

Vincent?

The hat.

[whispers]:
Bye.

[Kingsley chuckles]

Forget it.

[chuckles, sighs]

[Kingsley hums]

[chuckles]

Ah. Mm.

[sniffles]
Come on.

l want you to sit right here
in this chair, kid.

Come on. lt's yours.

[clears throat]

Huh?

[Tom sighs]

Huh?

Whew!

[Kingsley laughs]

Why are you giving me this job?

Because you're a genius, kid,
and this town needs you.

You know a guy named Donald?

Bobby...

You accepted? Fantastic!

You know, Bob, l had you in mind

from the moment
l started writing.

And listen--
the best news of all--

Mike Rudnick is set to direct.

That's right.

And l got this great girl
to play opposite you--

Cassie Smith.

She's an unknown,
but she's fabulous.

Just-Just wait
till you meet her, Bobby.

You'll love her.

Okay, Bobby,
l'll talk to you soon.

Bye-bye.

All right!

But Cassie's perfect
for this part.

MAN [over phone]:
Maybe, but Debbie's my client,

and so is your leading man.

Jer, babe, be fair.

MAN:
Fair?

Oh, that's the package, darling.

l mean, you want my star,
you got to take his girlfriend.

[click, dial tone]

[sighs]

Debbie's doing the part?
Debbie?!

What is this?

You promised!

l know l did, babe.

lt was either that,
or lose the picture.

Tom, something's happened
to you.

You're not the same person
l used to know.

Sure, l am.

l'm just more successful,
that's all.

But you wrote that part for me,
remember?

Babe, l'll get you
another part.

Maybe you will,
and maybe you won't,

but l'll tell you this:

You'll never create
another thing.

You're dead inside, Tom.

l can see it behind your eyes.

[sighs]

WOMAN [over intercom]:
Michael Rudnick is here.

[sighs]

Mr. Rudnick.

-Hey, hey.
-How are you?

-l'm fine.
-Come on in.

Make yourself at home.

Very nice. Thank you.

Mr. Rudnick, l can't tell you
what an honor it is

to have you direct my film.

The honor's all mine, kid.

Have we met?

Maybe at Cannes,
one of those festivals.

l don't know.

By the way, l love the script.

Well, thank you.

Thank you very much.

l, uh... l wrote it myself.

You did? That's terrific.

Then we don't have to deal
with the writer at all, right?

l mean, 'cause that love stuff--
it's a lot of mush.

Nobody wants
to see that mush anymore.

You know what l'm saying?
And that w*r?

What is... What is...
What is he, a hero?

He's no hero.
He's a maniac! He's a maniac!

He wants to k*ll,
he wants to chop.

He's got a fetish about nurses.
Don't you understand?

He wants to k*ll.

And it's got to be something
razor sharp.

And l happen to know a guy
personally in Pittsburgh.

He can make blood
like you could taste it!

You're not doing that
to my film.

l won't let you.

What are you talking about?

l ran the idea past King.
He loves the idea.

King said l was a genius.

That was last week, kid.

Hey, you want to fly with this,
or shall l go over to Pacific?

But l'll tell you one thing--

if l take a walk,
King won't like it.

No, no. lt's...

lt's just such a big change,
that's all.

Well, l'll tell you
something, kid.

Scripts aren't written,
they're rewritten.

Now, come on, get me a pad.

Let's go to work here.

Diablo, baby...

[Diablo barks]

l gotta talk to you.

What's the matter, kid, huh?

l want out.

Oh... sorry.

A deal's a deal.

Please?
l can't take this anymore.

Sorry, kid,
l never give up a soul

once l've got a signed contract.

All l wanted was
to do something good!

[laughs]

Welcome to Hollywood,
kid, right?

Mm. You know what
your problem is?

You're too soft.

l know. l'm a softie myself.

[sighs]

All right, l'll tell you
what l'll do, kid.

Go. Go on.

Get me somebody to replace you.

Wh-Wh-What do you call 'em,
a stand-in?

-Huh?
-Yeah.

Right? Just get me somebody.

l'll put him
under your contract,

and then you can go home to Ohio
and be an English teacher again.

Sound good?

Donald, that sounds great.

All right, but here's the deal.

l'm a busy man.

You only get one chance.

One chance?

That's right,

so you better pick someone
as desperate as you were.

l don't know anyone
that desperate.

ln this town? Are you kidding?

-[Donald cackles]
-Wait...

wait, there is someone.

l'll be right back.

Ooh, take your time, kid.

You can't afford
to make a mistake.

[Diablo whining]

Ah...

Donald?

He must be around here
somewhere.

Come on in.

l don't understand.

What kind
of an audition is this?

lt's the latest thing.

You-You audition for the part
in the actual location.

All the directors are doing it.

So let me get this straight.

l'm playing a woman who wants
to sell her soul to the Devil?

Right. And just
start improvising

as soon
as he comes back in here.

lmprovise? Where's the script?

l don't know what to say.

Just say whatever pops
into your head.

Use something
from your personal life.

Use me. Just keep talking.

DONALD:
Diablo, come on, huh?

Oh, hi.

l was just down
by the, uh, incinerator.

l hope l haven't kept you
waiting too long.

-Now?
-Now.

l want to sell my soul
to the Devil.

Yeah? [laughs]

Well, in that case,

you've certainly come
to the right place.

But tell me,
what do you want for it?

l want revenge.

Revenge?

On the man who told me
he loved me,

and then dumped me
like yesterday's garbage.

[chuckles]

Revenge, eh?

That good, old-fashioned one.

l like that.

You got a deal.

Wait a minute...

[snaps fingers]

[chuckles]

l know.

Um, so you're an actress, right?

Well... aspiring.

Uh-huh.

Well, l think l have a part

that you just might
be perfect for.

NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.

Waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time, try
to enjoy the daylight.