03x04 - Star Crossed Circuits

[bunniefuu]

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some
villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ A cloud of smoke
and he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that
cunning mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch
out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

[Awooo!]

[Awooo!]

There it goes
again. Let's go home.

I'm getting the heebie jeebies.

Would you relax?

It's more baffling
than our phone bill...

Iguanas swiping olives,

black cats stealing onions.

The whole city's weird.

And it's getting weirder!

[Brakes screech]

[Awooo!] [Awooo!]

Hold onto your goggles.

We're following those delusions.

What? Are you crazy?

Did I say that?

Ooh! Why do I
always hit the lights?

They're going to get away.

Uh, gee, that's too bad.

This is the longest
light in history!

h* h*!

That looks promising.

Aah!

Anchovies?

Why would bats want anchovies?

M-Maybe they're worried
about cholesterol.

That's no excuse for stealing.

Let's grab 'em!

I gotta touch 'em?

Our weight will be
too much for them.

Now what?

Shake it away from them.

Aah! Aah!

[Splash]

Did I miss something?

Where was the off-ramp
that said, "the twilight zone"?

Oh, no!

Pepperoni?

Excellent! Now come.

It's time we went home.

How's about we
call it a night, d.W.?

Sorry. I couldn't sleep
without cracking this case.

After this case I'll never sleep

or turn out the lights!

Olives, anchovies, pepperoni...

What do they have in common?

Pizza!

Suddenly, I gotta have pizza.

Whoa!

[Crash]

You're a genius!

Some fiend is filching
pizza toppings!

That's the connection!

Heck if I know why.

Maybe he's hungry, too.

Let's stop at pizza Pierre's.

Not a chance.

The only toppings left

are green peppers and mushrooms.

We'll catch that
condiment creep in the act!

I'll take mushrooms.

It's time to divide and conquer!

If I stopped for a
pizza, he'd never know.

Don't bet on it!

Rats.

Funny place to build a condo.

This is the address,

"mccawber mushrooms unlimited,"

the only mushrooms in town.

Perfect weather for
putting crooks in the cooler.

Very interesting
weather we're having.

Yeow!

Very interesting.

Nobody should be
working at this time of night

except pizza crooks.

I hate that.

Like I haven't seen
this in a million movies.

Aha!

Eck! Ack! Ugh! Er!

O.k., fine.

The lighted room
was in front... here!

Huh?

Obviously done with mirrors.

Anyway, I've got
a crook to catch!

Aah!

Oh-hoy.

I'll retrace my steps.

Aah!

Intriguing architecture.

I must get the name of the
designer so I can hurt him.

I've had it with this house.

The pizza fiend is
trying to psych me out.

Well, darkwing duck

is the master of
psychological warfare.

I am the terror that...

Flaps... in the night?

This is a director's meeting.

I don't believe
you were invited!

Uh, well, no, I
wasn't invited per se.

I saw the light and...

Was only trying to help.

You'll have to
excuse my associates.

They're such teases.

Really, darling, you're
such a party pooper.

We weren't gonna hurt him much!

Good evening. I'm
morgana mccawber,

the president of
mccawber's mushrooms.

Nice to meet you,
Mr... Dingwing dork.

Er, duckwing...
Duck... duck... duck...

Darkwing duck, at your service.

What an unusual name,

but then you seem very unusual.

I like that.

[Gulp]

We're having an
emergency meeting

regarding the
pizza topping thefts.

Pizza toppings? You knew that?

Well, I, uh... deduced it.

She deduced it!

My kind of woman.

Isn't it peculiar to
hold a meeting so late?

I enjoy the night.

Sun is so harsh on my skin.

I'm sort of a creature
of the night myself.

We have much in
common, darkwing.

Let me show you around.

I should get back... wait!

I could check your security.

I'd love to see your operation.

Shall we?

Ha ha ha ha!

Morgana's caught herself
one chunk of a duck!

I hope there's
enough to go around.

I don't like it. He
cost us the anchovies.

If he gets too
close, I say we...

Exactly.

There's more fungus
in your little finger

than in most people's heads.

You must know everything
about mushrooms.

Thank you, dark.

Perhaps we could
get together again.

I could discuss
spores and slime molds.

I'd like that.

Sort of.

I'm sure you must get back
to your exciting investigation.

No!

I have to protect you...

Uh, the mushrooms.

Oh, that's really... yes?

Impossible.

The others are...

Sensitive about outsiders.

We'll be just fine, I promise.

O.k.

[Launchpad] Darkwing
duck! Come in, d.W.!

I could really use a hand!

The ratcatcher's radio!

He's trouble, morgana.

The board wants
him... disposed of.

Use this, darling.

One smooch of my
lip potion and he's...

Ancient history!

I'm sure I won't need it.

He's already eating
out of my hand.

If I need to get rid of him,

I prefer the old-fashioned way.

Hee hee hee!

Yes, granny,
something like that.

Launchpad?

I'm in trouble, d.W.

Big trouble!

Hurry, d.W.!

I'm about to know
what a fly feels like.

C'mon, guys. You don't want me.

Aren't there any
flies in your parlor?

Who needs flies

when we can have a
nice juicy launchpad?

Ha ha ha ha!

Hang in there, launchpad!

Don't worry.

I'll be here.

Stop him!

Gaah!

Gee, I was hoping
we could skip dinner.

And now, my friends,
it's time to feast!

You'll do nothing of the kind!

The others will not be pleased.

They are not in charge.

Darkwing duck is mine.

[Morgana] Ahem!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Nice manicure. Thanks!

Don't mention it.

Morgana, what are... hey!

Not so fast, you
arrogant arachnids!

[Coughing]

Whoa! Pretty impressive.

Bug spray?

Smog.

Oh, the poor dears!

Huh?

[Coughing]

Are you all right?

This girl doesn't
get out enough.

Morgana, that thing's dangerous!

It is not.

He's just an itty bitty spider.

They're very sweet.

Really?

But aren't they... venomous?

Only a little.

Morgana's really something,

isn't she, launchpad?

I'll say.

Something different.

She's crazy about me.

You saw how she looks at me.

Like a snake
looks at its dinner.

Yeah, see? The poor
kid's lovestruck.

Launchpad.

What are you doing?

Getting your attention.

You're a hero, not a Romeo.

How'd your creepy girlfriend

know where I was?

Morgana's not
cree... wait a minute.

How did she know?

Here's something... an accident.

What could squeeze
milk trucks dry?

Is this related to our case?

It isn't weird enough.

Milk doesn't go on pizza.

It does when it becomes cheese.

Is this weird enough for ya?

Bad case of gas.

[Burp]

I know her!

She was at morgana's.

You've been making all
sorts of swell friends.

Let's go.

Smell that? It's pizza!

Just as I thought.

This is the hideout
of the topping thief.

These are really coming along

quite nicely.

Looks pretty bland to me.

Drop it, nero.

There's no market for
grub-and-c*ck pizza.

Morgana's being cheated

by her board of directors!

Well, I say it's terror-time.

I am the terror that
flaps in the night.

I am the onion that
stings in your eyes!

I am darkwing duck!

Oh, goody.

Hold it right there, renfield.

You've been robbing
the city of pizza toppings

so you can grow these
mushroom aberrations.

Hey, d.W. This thing
smells just like a pizza!

It tastes like it, too.

A perfect pizza every time

with no manufacturing costs.

We'll corner the pizza industry!

As soon as we get rid of you!

[Burp]

Traitors... doing
this to poor morgana!

Poor morgana? Poor us!

We'll soon be fungus food!

He's right. I'm just fine.

Sorry, darkwing. You
shouldn't have gotten involved.

I never wanted this.

Sounds kinda final, doesn't it?

S-S-So much for
long-term relationships.

D.w., I'm sorry your
girlfriend's a fiendish,

blood-sucking creature
from the netherworld.

Nobody's doing
any blood-sucking.

She's just... misguided.

I know I could convince
her to see the light.

I hate light, darkwing.

It's so... ew... healthy!

Come on, morgana,
you can change.

You're really
not an evil person.

An evil person, no.

An evil businesswoman, yes.

They're two separate things.

Sorry. Dishonest is dishonest.

Period,fini, end of discussions,

end of hope.

Oh, darkwing, if you
insist on having principles,

our relationship is doomed.

Isn't that the truth.

Uncle nero, they're not

your personal snacks!

The board is concerned
that your management style

has grown soft.

That's not your concern.

Darkwing has potential.

He's a creature of the night.

Let's make him one of us.

D.w.!

Snap out of it!

We needn't get rid of him.

Just his friend.

What?

Darkwing, throw
launchpad to the fungus.

Whew! Is that all?

I can risk getting
athlete's foot.

Aah!

Those things are carnivorous!

An unfortunate side effect.

Ooh!

All right, d.W.!

That's using my head.

That won't stop them.

To the street!

Right. Uh, could
you... could, uh...

How do you do that?

That's the last straw!

I vote we remove
morgana as chairperson.

I second it.

Silly darlings,
let our pets do it.

Sic 'em, boys!

We'll have to hurry
if we want leftovers.

You switched the lipstick.

I wanted you to
stay because of me,

not because you were a zombie.

Swell. Now what?

That mushroom mob is coming!

To the kitchen! We need butter.

Take it to the roof.

Outside!

Oh, no!

What?

I need lightning!

Oh, is that all?

Uh... uh, thanks.

Now, quick, out of the way.

Over here, you spore brains!

Darkwing duck is
not so easily caught.

Whoa!

Got your butter, d.W.

This place is weird!

Later, launchpad!

Throw the butter
at the mushrooms!

Mmm! Yum! Yum!

It's not working.
They're not slipping!

They're not supposed to.

Hope I'm lucky as Ben Franklin!

Wow. Sauteed pizza mushrooms.

Hoo-hoo!

Morgana's onto something.

You've destroyed
years of research!

That was our entire crop!

You'll regret this!

Oh, no! Aah!

Light!

Ohh!

Help me! Aah!

Mushrooms?

They were... mushrooms?

Another unfortunate side effect.

Your storm saved our lives,

but I have to turn
you over to the police

as the pizza topping thief.

Oh, dark, I'm afraid
that won't be possible.

Oh, morgana, don't be like this.

Whoa!

Hold on, d.W.!

I really can't stay,

but I'm sure we'll meet again.

[Kiss]

Goodbye, dark.

Goodbye, morg.

Women... now ya
see 'em, now ya don't.