03x05 - Steerminator

[bunniefuu]

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some
villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪



♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ A cloud of smoke
and he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that
cunning mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch
out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

The gos stops here.

Don't talk with your mouth full.

Stop her, honk face,
or I'll crunch you.

Great.

You didn't stand a chance

against gosalyn
Mallard, soccer sensation!

Way to go, honk head.

Can't you stop a girl?

You think you can
do better, tank top?

Yeah! Anyone can stop a girl

unless they're a wimp!

Get one past me.

My pleasure.

You cheated.

I tripped. The sun blinded me.

Try none of the above.

Blasted instructions!

A supercomputer
couldn't figure this out.

Ow!

Well, it's different.

Who wants an ordinary bike?

Isn't that interesting?

Oh, hi, binky. It's for gosalyn.

Bikes are so boyish.

Don't you think gosalyn should
have more feminine things?

Have I mentioned that?

Every time you see me.

There's a masquerade
ball coming up,

a school benefit.

Gosalyn could be a student host.

It might round off
her rough edges.

Thanks for sharing,
but no, thanks.

I'll decide whether her
edges need rounding.

She's as feminine as any girl...

Hi, dad. The city
soccer cup's in the bag.

I'll trash the competition.

Hello, tank. Don't
track mud inside.

It's o.K. I didn't
break any bones.

Well, uh, sign us up
for the masquerade.

I'm excited! There's
so much to do!

We'll teach you
manners, charm, and poise.

You'll become a
lovely young lady.

What?

It's no joke?

Sorry.

It's not funny, if
that's what you mean.

I don't want to be a lady!

Is this the room of
a normal little girl?

You'll act like a
lady. That's final!

When you look feminine,
you feel feminine.

You don't mind my
buying some things?

It's my pleasure.

Please leave your
packages by the door.

Love to.

This young lady needs a
student hostess outfit.

This pink little number?

Too pink.

Isn't there something you like?

Nope. Hold the phone!

Is this neat, or what?

Oh, great. My daughter...
A heavy metal g*n moll.

You're right. It
needs something else.

That's enough! I'll
pick out something.

Drake, you surprised me.

That's lovely. Don't
you think so, gosalyn?

[Grumbling]

You should have
shown us this first.

[Babbling]

Do I have to wear
this embarrassment?

Get used to it.

I must collect my fares.

My goodness! Are you all right?

This is a job for...
Mall security.

I'll call them. Wait here.

I must collect my fares.

I'm the terror that
flaps in the night.

I'm the meter on
the cab of justice...

I'm darkwing duck.

Sure.

Stay cool. I'll be right back.

Surrender! Darkwing
duck demands your demise.

Ptooey!

Wow. Amateur landing, dude.

My back's k*lling me.

Pretty good day, boss.

Pretty good? Why, you've
done an excellent job.

Now, change into
this special uniform.

Clothes make the
man, I always say.

[Honk]

My hypno-gas works!

He turned from a taxi
driver into a cave man,

exactly as I directed.

Ahem.

I'll have no more
problems with actors.

When I hypno-gas their costumes,

every performance
will be perfect!

I, tuskerninni,

truly am the greatest
living movie director.

It's time for a screen test.

What's this one for?

The entree?

No, salad.

I'll never understand.

Don't be negative.

Look what I found...

An encyclopedia of etiquette.

There's thousands of rules here.

Wonderful! Gosalyn
can study in her free time.

Isn't this fun?

You'll be the most
refined young lady.

You must learn to
carry yourself properly.

Walk to the kitchen and back

balancing this on your head.

And she scores!

Your posture's fine.

[Snoring]

We discussed rules for
making introductions.

This is your chance to practice.

Launchpad?

Please go outside and
knock on the front door.

Huh?

Oh, sure. No problem.

All right, introduce
launchpad to me.

But he already knows you.

Let's pretend he doesn't.

Introduce us properly.

[Knock on door]

Hi.

That was easy.

No, launchpad. Wait to be
introduced when you enter.

Oh. Sorry.

Let's try again.

[Knock knock]

Why are you knocking?

Beats me.

Dad's got a point.

Well, we'll continue
the lesson tomorrow.

Is this where I inquire about
the masquerade benefit?

Yes. May I help you?

I'd like to help you.

I run a motion picture
costume company.

I heard about your masquerade,

and, oh, I was moved to tears.

I adore children.

I took these three in,

so I know the
importance of education.

You kind man.

So few people these days.

I'm offering to rent my
costumes to your guests

at a substantial discount

as a small token
of my appreciation

for all the good work
your school has done.

I'm sorry.

I'm just so moved.

If only there were
more people like you.

I'll see to it

that all our guests
go to you for costumes.

Bless you and
your little children.

You're too kind.

Come, children.

When we spray hypno-gas
on the costumes,

those rich people will
act exactly as I direct.

We'll film the benefit,

and we'll steal their
money and jewels.

This script will be
the perfect marriage

of art and crime!

You're in the wrong century.

You were born
to wear this dress.

Thank you. It's lovely.

I only wish I had some
costume jewelry here

to complete the effect.

I have real jewels that'll
be perfect with this dress.

I so rarely wear
my good diamonds.

I hoped for that.

What have you got that's fancy?

I want to drip with jewels.

Wonderful!

We want costumes that
will look good with gold.

Oh, there's plenty for everyone.

This is a classic!

You've never had a date before?

I haven't.

You've been to dances
before, haven't you?

No, launchpad.

Oh. Go ahead and be nervous.

Thank you, launchpad.

I hope gosalyn can
act somewhat like...

[Whistles]

Isn't she the
prettiest little girl?

Hubba hubba!

Gosalyn, is that you?

You look so... grownup.

Where's the time go?

One day she's a little girl,

and the next...
Where's your costume?

Pardon.

Haven't you been listening?

It's a masquerade ball.

Except for the student hosts,

everybody wears costumes.

What about me?

Launchpad, let's go.

An air ace!

What a wonderful
costume, launchpad,

and so authentic.

But that's what...
He isn't even...

Never mind.

Nice costume, Drake.

Of course, nobody
will confuse you

with the real darkwing duck.

You don't think there's
any resemblance?

No offense, guy,

but darkwing
duck is much taller.

He's my best friend.

I seen him once in person.

That's more like it.

Who's the precious little lady?

That can't be our gosalyn.

Let's see her play
soccer in that.

[Honk honk]

You all know your parts.

With hypno-gas in scuba tanks,

the guests won't suspect.
Everything working?

Not at me, you idiot!

All right, let's roll film!

Don't you think it
would be gentlemanly

to talk to the other girls?

I'm no gentleman.

Maybe I'll teach
you some manners.

Don't listen to him.

I'm having a wonderful
time talking to you.

All right. Really?

Come on over here.

In fact, I've never seen
so many handsome boys

in one place.

I'll have to dance with
each and every one of you.

I thought you hated dancing.

You wanted me to be a lady.

Yes, but, but...

Oh, you're very generous.

Anything for the cause, ma'am.

Time to prepare my actors
for their performances.

I'll get everything in
one big take tonight.

You're ready for the
big production number,

and you'll be the star!

Wait. You're making
a rattling sound.

It's spoiling everything.

Oh, I know... it's your jewelry.

Give it all to me.

Yes, that's perfect.

Don't stop dancing.

This is going exactly
according to the script.

Prepare for takeoff.

Fuel level? Check.
Oil pressure? Check.

Cleared for takeoff.

Visibility... 1 mile.

A beautiful day to fly!

I faked left, then right.

I'm in the clear...
What was I saying?

Oh, never mind.

I love a party.
Don't you, honker?

Indeed so, gossie-poo.

Tell that amusing anecdote

about the time you
brought a snake to school

and put it in the
teacher's desk.

Honker, please!

A lady's entitled to
keep some secrets.

What a darling costume!

My duck sense is quacking.

Something isn't right.

At ease, soldier.

Have you noticed anything
odd about how people...

We're going down! Bail out!

Are acting?

Hmm. Methinks malicious
mischief Mars this masquerade.

Acting... acting!

Those aren't scuba divers!

This can only be the work
of one blubbery villain.

Nice costume.

Funny to find an overdressed
extra lurking here.

Wherever criminals
ply their trade,

you'll find darkwing duck!

Hand over the loot!

How dare you!

I am directing this production.

[Snort]

I just rewrote your
script, tuskerninni.

Darkwing duck won't
stand by while... oof!

That's a wrap!

See that duck?

Wipe him out!

Yes, sir!

That's your partner.

Practice together even
if he doesn't want to.

Especially if he
doesn't want to.

[Grunting]

Once again I've proved
the critics wrong.

They say unhappy
endings don't make money.

I've made lots of money.

And it looks like a
very unhappy ending

for darkwing duck!

Eee-ha, let's mambo!

Madam, please!

Wipe him out.

Woo-hoo! One and
two, one and two.

Launchpad! Launchpad, wake up!

Aah!

Running play up
the middle on two.

Two!

Keep going!

Gosalyn, let's go.
It's too dangerous.

Nonsense. I'm
having a lovely time.

I'm after that wily walrus.

I can't leave without
thanking the hostess.

What's wrong with everybody?

Snap out of it!

Dad? What's happening?

I... watch out!

You're you again.

But nothing happened, except...

Of course... your dress!

The penguins
gassed the costumes.

Launchpad, are you
normal, relatively speaking?

Gee, d.W., that's a
tough question. Normal?

Putting me up against...

Madam, that's a
most elegant outfit.

Where did you
obtain such finery?

You flatter me.

I rented it from a
well-dressed walrus.

Let's go!

I've lost control!
We're going down!

You're still under
tuskerninni's gas.

I thought we were
really going to...

Crash.

We're going in.

But, dad... stay here.
This is dangerous.

The greatest directors

couldn't stage
a caper like this.

And no retakes.

Hypno-gas!

Let's give tuskerninni a taste.

Suck gas, evildoer!

Who put these clothes here?

Dearly beloved, if
anyone knows any reason

why this happy couple
shouldn't be married...

Don't do it! You'll
never forgive yourself!

Dad!

You fight well, sir.

Thank you. You're
a worthy opponent.

Don't thank him.
Run him through!

♪ Promenade left ♪

♪ swing your partner
allemande right ♪♪

Good day, doctor.

Cancel my appointments.
I'm late for golf!

Can I play through?

Hold it right there,
you low-life linksters.

I'm the terror that
flaps in the night.

I'm the sand trap on
the fairway of evil.

You, caddie, come over here now!

What's wrong? We
didn't pay green fees?

I replaced my divots.

Put on the cape!

Caddies don't wear
capes. I can't carry...

Do it now! Now
the hat, or else, I'll...

I told you to stay outside!

You're you again!

Yes, I am, and we'll talk later.

This round's over
for you, tuskerninni,

but you can work on
your swing in prison.

Justice is served again
thanks to darkwing duck!

Ahem.

And family.

It's not right.

I can't remember anything
about the masquerade.

It's a mystery, yeah.

I missed gosalyn dancing with...

Is gosalyn acting like
a perfect little lady?

Practically
perfect in every way.