03x13 - Extinct Possibility

[bunniefuu]

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some
villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ A cloud of smoke
and he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that
cunning mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch
out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

Wouldn't want to
meet him camping,

not without
industrial-strength bug spray.

That species has been extinct
for over 70 million years.

Doesn't look a
day over a million.

Must've had a great
skin moisturizer.

The Amber preserved
it in perfect condition.

How'd he get inside there?

This Amber is merely
the fossilized tree sap

that trapped the insect
before it hardened.

This is really
fascinating, professor,

but why did you contact me?

I could be out
solving mysteries!

We have a mystery here

that only you may
be able to solve.

Yep, yep, yep, ahh...

My sterling
reputation precedes me.

I've heard you were a goof,

but this time, you seem
to be the one to ask.

Dinosaurs! I'll get the cage!

Cage?

Is using quackerjack's time
machine a good idea, d.W.?

I have no choice.

I won't sleep

until I find out who's
inside the Amber.

O.k., I'm ready.

And what's that for?

My new pet...

Nothing carnivorous... a
stegosaurus or something.

No pets, no little
girls... we're going alone.

Who's gonna take care of me

if you get ripped up

by something with
tire-iron-size fangs?

Maybe I better stay.

You can't leave me behind.

Ooo-Kay.

Besides, wacky home
videos will pay mega-bucks

for some embarrassing
dinosaur footage.

Well, looks clear.

I want everyone to
be extremely careful.

Who knows what bloodthirsty
carnivore st*lks this...

Aah!



and I forget to
recharge the batteries.

So much for wacky home videos.

If you're through shortening
my life span, gosalyn,

I'd like to get moving now.

This map should lead us to
where the Amber block originated.

Oh, darn.

You know, I hate it
when this happens.

[Grrr]

We've come this far to
be a dinosaur's chew toy.

Duckbilled dinosaurs
were plant eaters.

At least, that's the theory.

What in the world are you?

Keen gear! It talks!

I talk? Of course I talk,

but you? This...
This is amazing...

Talking... thingies!

I'm getting my net.

Unbelievable! It's a talk...

Did he say net?

Hey!

Those ultraviolet rays
mutate the darndest things.

Hey, I'm not a darndest
thing. I'm darkwing duck.

Is that a genus or species?

It's a name... my name!

I'm Dr. Denton.

Boy, you'll impress the
council of technosaurs.

Council of what?

Technosaurs. Did
you used to be hairier?

Professor bumprock collected
some hairy ape thingies like you.

She caught 'em using tools.

You bet we stopped that.

The way they were multiplying,

they could've
overrun the planet.

Hey, look, Godzilla.

That's Dr. Denton.

Whatever. We are not mutations.

We're from the future.

From... the future?

Oh, I get it.

I get it.

It's humor. You've
evolved a sense of humor.

That's rich. It really is.

As if we dinosaurs

could ever evolve
into creatures like you.

That's cute. Well,
you didn't evolve, pal.

You became extinct.

Extinct?

Isn't that a touchy subject?

Extinct!

And how, pray tell,
did that happen?

It was the ice age.

It got cold.

It was snowing and...

I suppose it never occurred
to us to put on coats.

Help me out, gos.

Many believe a giant
meteor smashed into earth

and ixnayed you dinosaurs.

Sure. All the dinosaurs
crowded into one spot

just to be under
a big falling rock.

You're not from the future.

I've seen the future,

and its name is duckbillville.

Observe... a city run by
technology, not bureaucracy.

No pencil-pushing
politicians for us.

Our utopia's motto is
"improve it or move it."

You car runs smooth
even with concrete tires.

Our roads are high-performance,
steel-belted radials.

[Darkwing] You mean
you have concrete tires

and rubber roads?

[Dr. Denton] Our
city's in the forefront

of modern technology.

See our elevator building.

Neat, huh? I knew
you'd be speechless.

[Telephone rings]

Dr. Denton? Just
a minute, please.

Dr. Denton, it's for you!

I can tell you're impressed.

We call it a car phone.

What? The meeting's
been moved up?

I'm on my way. Thanks.

You're welcome... gulp!

Long-distance calls
must be real K*llers.

The council of technosaurs
will come to order.

First, the progress report

on the latest
discoveries and inventions.

Dr. Fernchew, you go first.

Thank you, sir glumfield.

Progress continues in
home appliance division.

There are still some bugs.

Our self-cleaning oven
gets stuck in the rinse cycle.

The important thing is
not to get discouraged.

Professor bumprock
has a new discovery

she'd like to share with us.

What can I say,
ladies and gentlemen,

other than... tree
sap is our future!

Though somewhat difficult
to clean off one's feet,

I'm positive it'll prove to
be fabulously beneficial

to society as a
facial moisturizer.

I know why you paleolithic
peabrains became extinct.

You do everything backwards.

Hey, keep quiet.

You'll get me in trouble.

Keep your mutations
under control.

Yes, sir glumfield.

What are you doing?

We are not mutations.

We're from the future.

The future?

He didn't mean that.

You know how mutants
run at the mouth.

Wheels are rubber.
Roads are concrete.

And this oven is for
cooking food, not laundry.

Really?

Then where do you
pour the fabric softener?

Just like those ape things.

Maybe we should squash
them before they multiply.

Stop before they sit on you.

It could put a permanent
press in your cape.

Yes, the cape.

Is it common for
people of the future

to wear gaudy clothes?

This disguise is to hide

my real identity
as I fight crime.

Of course, not that
there is any crime

this incredibly
sophisticated utopia of yours.

Let's find some
troglodytes to play with.

[Glumfield] Wait!

We might have
one slight problem.

Johnny t. Is coming to town!

[Teeth chattering]

No matter what the eon,

darkwing duck
fights for justice.

Careful... these guys
are really, really big.

Then the harder they'll fall.

Is it an earthquake?

Hey, what the heck are those?

Appetizers.

This is nice.

Who else but the friendly
citizens of duckbillville

would welcome us
with a snack tray?

What's this? I didn't
order smoked meats.

I'm the terror that
flaps in the night!

I'm the limestone that
petrifies your bones!

I am darkwing duck!

Whoa. That is one
weird-looking thingie.

[Karate yell]

Uh-oh.

Maybe it's "the bigger they are,

the... harder... they... are."

How do you do?

I am Johnny t. Rex.

These are my associates...

Throttle and mudflap.

How ya doin'?

Now that
introductions are over...

Waste him, boys.

Grrr!

Two words... breath mint.

I wanted him gooshed!

Going up!

Coming through!

Yeow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Suck sneezes, evildoers!

Ah... ah... ah... ah...
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

That's sockin' it to 'em!

Unbelievable! We
beat a dinosaur!

I did, didn't I?

Actually, I beat
three dinosaurs.

Mere tyrannosaurs don't
stand a chance against darkwing.

Y'know, dad, you
did have some help.

He'll need more.

I like you, kid.

You show guts.

Guts like that
should be rewarded.

Who put him up to this?

I brought me! Them! I did!

Okay. This is good.

This is lunch.

This is dinner.

You're our midnight snack.

You... I think brunch.

Try some marinara sauce.

I feel zesty today.

Oh...

Do something before the whole
town becomes a blue plate special!

I can take these
g*ons blindfolded.

We'll be lucky

if there's enough left of
us to floss out their gums.

You can't out macho
a tyrannosaurus Rex.

It's what's inside
the duck that counts.

It's the duck that'll be inside
the dinosaur that worries me.

What say you clear out now

and leave these people alone?

And leave this
utopia of technology?

That's the whole
reason I come here...

Aside from the
cuisine, of course.

Let's make with the discoveries!

This is my self-cleaning oven,

already modified per darkwing
duck's suggestions, of course.

What would they do without me?

I was using it on
laundry instead of food.

We're always interested in new
methods of food preparation.

Oh! It's... it's done.

Not so good, boss.

I said to bake it, not bathe it.

You gotta help us!

That guy's a tyrannosaurus Rex!

He's got teeth bigger than me!

It's not like we can challenge
him to arm wrestling.

That's it!

And thinned down, this tree sap

makes a fabulously
beneficial insect repellent.

[Buzzing]

Or not.

That's the best
technology of the month?

Okay... it's chow time.

[Teeth chattering]

Touch them and suffer
the consequences,

you overgrown lizards!

What kinda
consequences... future boy?

What-kind-of-
uh-consequences? Specifically?

Did I push this
macho thing too far?

Not so much consequences as...

Condiments... they
have lousy condiments!

The right appetizers will
more than make up for it...

Darkmeat.

Sure... chomp his bones
into a bloody pulp.

Sure... you can tear him...

Don't give him any new ideas.

How often do you get
to face a real challenge?

Being the unquestionably
dominant lifeform

of the early cretaceous
period does make life mundane.

So what do you have
in mind, dumpling?

Darkwing duck's gonna
take you on at your own game.

Uh, eating?

No.

I'm talkin' choppers, hogs,

earth-stompin' street machines!

Uh, what are we talking about?

He's gonna race
us on motorcycles!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

And the loser
leaves duckbillville.

Okay, I'm a sport. I'm a sport,

but nobody can outrun my g*ng.

We race tomorrow.

[Teeth chattering]

Until then, nobody eats.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

With a new ratcatcher made
with modern technology,

we'll ride rings
around those bozos.

Guess your brains
are rubbin' off on me.

Come here, you little kiss up.

[Launchpad] We might
have a problem here, d.W.

Th-th-that's the ratcatcher?

I couldn't help it. They
insisted on improving it.

Improve it or move it.

We might still have a chance.

Really? You think so?

It's infinitesimally
small, but still a chance.

Thanks for the morale boost.

[Motorcycles approaching]

All right, future boy,

see you on the buffet line.

Come on! If we can't do
better, we're lunchmeat!

The gears are sticking!

Maybe it's the tree
sap in the crank case.

Smear me with mustard and
point me at the kaiser rolls.

Unh! Got it!

Wrong way!

Call it a detour.

This I do not like.

Throttle, take the geek out!

That's the last of the tree sap.

Aah! Aah!

Time for something
fabulously beneficial.

Unh!

[Crash]

Unh!

Huh?

I'll take 'im, Johnny.

Again? At least show
some originality.

Oh! This is gonna leave a Mark.

[Gosalyn] We're at the top!

It's all downhill
from here, d.W.!

You can say that again.

This race is falling to pieces.

See you for dinner.

[Bump]

This is not good.

You can run, but
you cannot hide!

Whoa!

Hey! Hey!

[Grunting]

This is where I get off.

There they are!

Ta-daa!

Aah!

We came to solve a mystery

and stayed to save the day.

Wait! You can't leave yet.

Now what?

I've just invented the fabulously
beneficial pancake breakfast.

You must try it.

[Gosalyn] Aah! [Launchpad] Aah!

The engine! It's missing!

That's what this is?

I improved it for you.

Had trouble figuring it out.

How will get back?

This made it spin!

Really? I thought this did.

[Gosalyn] Aah!

Oops.

I'm stuck here...

Destined to live out my life
with deranged dinosaurs!

At least you can start your life

with a hearty breakfast.

Let's have some
pancake thingies.

Oops.

Uh-oh. This looks like...

A paperweight! Yes!

I just invented the paperweight!

[Denton] Ha ha ha!

Get darkwing outta that Amber!

I am.

Sorry, we don't
have that kind of time.

Anybody know what eon it is?

Sorry about smashing
that priceless Amber.

Oh, never mind.

We've had a new discovery.

We think we can
chip him out, too.