01x01 - Turtle Tracks

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪

♪ they're the world's
most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ and they're green ♪

Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil shredder
attacks ♪

♪ these turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads,
donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool but rude ♪

Gimme a break!

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪




grrr.

Grrr.

APRIL O'NEIL:
Crime--

it's something
we take for granted.

It's simply a day-to-day
fact of life

in the big city.

But occasionally,
a crime occurs

so baffling
that even we city dwellers

sit up and take notice.

3 scientific
equipment companies,

3 robberies,
and what was stolen?




polarity indicators,

and, uh, one parabolic
sine wave generator.

And what does all
that equipment do?

I have absolutely
no idea.

But, although
the missing goods

are high-tech,

the method by which
they were stolen is not.

These incisions
could only

have been made with
a samurai sword.

And look at this rope.

This can only be
the work of ninjas.

The ancient band
of Japanese warriors.

And how can you
tell that

from the rope,
Professor?

Well, look for yourself.

It's made in Japan.

Ninjas--a thousand-year-old
clan of assassins.

Is it possible
they are here in the city?

We're at technology central
to answer that question.

For it may be
the next target

of these mysterious
burglars.

I'll report as soon as
anything develops.

April o'Neil,
happy hour news.

Back to you, Jeff.

Come on, April,
let's beat it.

Nothing's gonna
happen here.

APRIL: What are you,
a bunch of sissies?

This is gonna be fun.

April, we've got
a million bucks

in state-of-the-art
equipment here.

I'm not gonna let it
sit around

in the street in
the dead of the night.

Ha ha ha ha!

We're the news media,
for cryin' out loud.

Who'd want to hurt us?

[GROWLING]

Uh, them maybe?

The camera!
Get to the camera!

I--I think I left
the iron on in my apartment.

Yeah,
I just remembered

roller derby's
on TV tonight.

Oh, and I got an appointment
with my, uh, dentist.

Grrr.

Grrr.

We got a message for you
from the big boss man.

He warns you should stick
to reportin' fashion shows.

Ok, sure.

No problem.

He don't
believe you.

Here. Catch.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Rip it out!

Over there!

[PANTING]

This is great!

I must really
be on to something hot

if they're trying
to k*ll me.

[THUD]

Sign-off time,
April o'Neil.

Grrr.

Chill out,
homeboy.

Hey, watch it with
that thing, pal!

Oh, whoever you are,
you are dead!

Uhh!
Uhh!

Whoa,
weird-looking dudes.

Yeah, and they
dress funny, too.

I don't know
who you are, but thanks.

You're not human!

Bingo. We're dealing
with a real mind here.

You're--you're turtles!

Yep, so we are.

Oh, I can't handle this.

Aw, she's no fun.
She fainted.

What the devil?

W-where am I?

Some hot tea?

I don't believe this.

Ohh...

I wish she'd
stop doing that.

Come on, lady.
Wake up.

Aah!

Hey, it's tough
trying to carry on

a conversation with you,
you know?

Perhaps some food

would aid the young lady's
powers of speech.

Pizza time!

Who had the pepperoni
and ice cream?

I want some of
the jellybeans and mushrooms.

Yeah, give me
a slice

of anchovies
and peanut butter.

This is seriously
grossing me out.

She talks,
she walks.

How can you eat
that junk?

How can you eat
raw fish? Blecchh!

Hold it, guys.

Now, April,
would you like to tell us

why those men were chasing
you around the sewers?

Yeah, we don't get many
humans down here.

I was doing a story
about a bunch of thefts

at scientific
equipment companies.

Hey, I'm sitting here,

talking to
a bunch of turtles!

And their pet rat?

Who the heck
are you guys?

Perhaps
I can best explain.

The story of
my young friends and I

is really the story of
a man named hamato yoshi.

In Japan,
there is a ninja clan

known as the foot.

Hamato yoshi
was their shidoshi--

teacher of the warrior ways
of enlightenment.

Yoshi was a quiet man
who loved art,

but one student sought
to usurp his leadership

of the foot clan--

oroku saki.

Then one day,
a master sensei--

a teacher--

visited the foot school,

and oroku saki
made his move.

Aah!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Impudent dog!

Bow before our
beloved master!

So, you plot
to k*ll

our honorable
sensei!

Disgraceful. Hmm!

For this misdeed,
you should be banished

from the foot clan
altogether.

What say you,
all-wise sensei?

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

I say
throw the bum out!

In disgrace,
yoshi fled to America.

Penniless, he was forced
to live in the sewers,

in these
underground tunnels.

His only friends
were the rats...

Until one day,

some new friends
came down the drain.

Back in Japan,

under oroku saki's
evil leadership...

Hyah!

The foot clan turned
into an army of crime.

ALL: Stick 'em up!

Back in New York,

yoshi lived happily
with his turtles and rats,

but then one day...

[GASPS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

So hamato yoshi found
found the turtles

covered with goo?

Bingo.
You get the feeling

all this is starting
to lead somewhere?

It was
a powerful mutagen.

It caused
whoever touched it

to take on the form
of whatever animal

they had most recently
been in contact with.

The turtles
started becoming human.

They had most recently
been with yoshi,

but yoshi had most recently
been with the rats.

APRIL: Then
hamato yoshi is...

You!

You got a mind
like a steel trap, lady.

My 4 young wards
nicknamed me splinter

for obvious reasons.

I, in turn,
named them

after my favorite
renaissance painters.

I knew the outside world
would consider them freaks,

so I trained them
in the art of ninjitsu.

Donatello,

whose simple wooden Bo
can disarm any adversary.

Raphael--

no sword on earth
can withstand his sai.

Leonardo--

his swordsmanship
is unmatched.

Michelangelo,

master of
the whirling nunchakus.

And master
of the whirling pizzas.

And that is how
they became...

The teenage mutant
ninja turtles.

So, do you know who dropped
that mutagen on you?

No, but one day
we're gonna find him

and force him to make
our master human once more.

So, what do
you think?

I think you committed
those robberies.

Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Wait a minute.

Did I miss
something here?

Ain't you up
on current events, lady?

We just saved your life!

The thieves
were ninjas, pal.

Yeah, but
were they turtles?

It doesn't matter.

You're still news.

No way.
You put us on TV,

and scientists
will be after us.

We spent half our lives
crawlin' around

the bottom
of a glass bowl,

and we ain't going back.

Which means
you're staying here

until we work this out.

Where the devil's April?

She's been gone
almost a day.

Well, it's not like

she was irreplaceable
or anything.

Look at that--

another high-tech
warehouse hit last night.

This story's
heating up,

and I have to lose
my second best reporter.

April wasn't your
second best reporter.

Well, third best...
Maybe.

Hey, I got it!

She stays here with us
for the rest of her life.

Try again,
Mr. wizard.

Look,
why don't we just

find these ninja
thieves for her?

And perhaps
she could help us

find a cure for
splinter's condition.

If you get me my story.

We'll get your story.

Just make sure
you leave us out of it.

Now, wait a minute.
She's gonna help us?

Yeah. So?

Well, uh,
no offense, lady,

but, uh,
you're a human.

Exactly. She can get
into places we can't.

I guess anything's
worth a try,

no matter how weird.

Those 4 weirdos
beat the pants off us,

Mr. shredder.

I know that,
you idiots.

Did you get
a good look at them?

Did they look
like reptiles?

I didn't get such
a good look, you know?

Get out, you cretins!

They could have
been turtles.

I must know.

All right, let's
check out the spot

where we fought
those punks.

Maybe they left
a clue behind.

Are you out of
your shell, donatello?

Come on,
you think those punks

would just leave
evidence lying around?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

We're not gonna find
anything here.

Ninja pizza.
What do you know?

Dudes, do you realize
what this is?

The crucial piece
of evidence

we were looking for?

The clue which will
lead us

to the heart of
the evil ninja empire?

No, even better!

It's a place where
we can get some pizza!

Right on!

Ok, I'll head up there
and check it out.

No. No, April.
It's too dangerous.

You wouldn't last 5 minutes
in a ninja pizza parlor.

I love saying lines
like that.

We'd better go
with you, April.

That's right.
And besides,

we're hungry.

Look, guys, if you draw
a lot of attention,

we'll be
in big trouble.

Relax. We know
all about humans.

Oh.

We watch a lot of TV.

We're in big trouble.

OLD LADY: Aah!

Monsters! Aah!

Relax, lady.
We--

one twitch, and you're
history, scum.

Now back off!

Nice and easy.

[SIGHS]
We're gonna get nowhere

unless we do something
about your looks.

Wait here.

[MIMICKING HUMPHREY BOGART]
Here's lookin' at you, kid.

Well, it's a slight
improvement.

Now, just keep quiet.

And don't draw attention
to yourselves.

Psst!
Yo, my man.

Three-card monte?

Cut the cards,
slim.

Nice going, Raphael.

Only half the people
on the street saw that.

I'm Leonardo.

Oh, sorry.

Fake teeth,
goofy noses,

get 'em here!

Hey, April, why do humans
want to make themselves

dumber-lookin'
than they already are.

I really don't know,
Michelangelo.

I'm Raphael.

Oh, sorry.

[MUSIC BLASTING]

April?
Yes?

Why do human beings

want to make
themselves deaf?

I really have
no idea, Leonardo.

I'm donatello.

Sorry!

Uh, April?
What?!

We're here.
Oh.

Ninja dry cleaners?

Ninja shoe repairs?

Ninja video rentals?

Ninja dentist? Ow!

I can't put
my finger on it,

but there's
something suspicious

about this neighborhood.

Hyah!

Hey, come on!
I'm starving, guys!

Don't you guys think
about anything but pizza?

Not unless
we have to.

Welcome to ninja pizza,

home of the nice slice.

Don't you think there's
something a little strange

about this place?

Boy, I'll say.
They don't have pepperoni.

No, I mean
those ninjas.

It's just a gag.

Come on, whoever heard
of a bunch of ninjas

hanging out
in a pizzeria?

You're a bunch of ninjas,
and you're in a pizzeria.

And for that matter, whoever
heard of talking turtles?

This April o'Neil
is getting closer

to my operation.

I blame myself.

I should not have sent
a punk to do a ninja's job.

Uh,
one sashimi pizza

and 3 whipped cream
pizzas.

Eat in good health.

Listen, uh,
what happened to April?

I guess
she wasn't hungry.

"Manhattan
security services."

Security services?

Hmm.

Why, of course
we can help.

We offer protection
to many scientific firms

throughout the city.

Security team "c,"
report to reception.

I've got another
scientific equipment company

lined up, just waitin'
to be cleaned out.

I found them.

Send a camera crew
to--mmph!

[GRUNTING]

I'm concerned
about April.

What is it, Raphael?
A threatening note?

Worse than that.
It's the check!

Ok, April, where
are you hiding?

Hey, it's
April's wallet.

And over there!

April's press pass.

Yeah, I'd know that wad of
used chewing gum anywhere.

Uh, you get the feeling
April's in trouble?

Well, either that,

or she's got a big
hole in her purse.

April's purse.
Come on.

Careful, Raphael.
It could be a trap.

Yep, it's a trap.

There is something
weird about this.

Clang?
Did you say clang?

Check those dudes out.

Dudes, nuts.
They're robots.

Robots?

Let's rock!

Ha ha! Show 'em
some moves, donatello!

I know that
fighting style.

It is the foot
technique.

Could it be...

Hamato yoshi
still lives?

Hey!
What the heck?

Eat this!

Where are these guys
gettin' their gear,

Mars?

Let's show them

that turtles know
how to party.

[RUMBLING]

They're getting away!

That's what they think.
Come on!

How are we gonna
get down there?

Like this.

Where is
everybody?

Well, it's late.
They probably went home.

SHREDDER:
So, they are up above.

But who are they?

Hey, look,

an acme
technologies

digital video
transceiver.

This is
big-league gear.

Whoa, who's the dude
with the metal face?

They are the turtles--

hamato yoshi's turtles!

They must not discover
my technodrome.

All foot return
to the technodrome at once.

Technodrome?
Where's that?

It can only be
one way--down.

[ALARM BUZZING]

April, wait here.

[PANTING]

Fine by me.

They must be heading
for the technodrome.

SHREDDER: Stop the turtles
at any cost!

Got to get to safety!
We'll drown!

Hey, what are we
worrying about?

We're turtles.

Yeah,
but she's not.

[COUGHS]

I owe you one.

I don't know if I can
take much more of this!

Hey, look on
the bright side.

At least
it's not raining.

Cowabunga!

The roof! Come on!

We've got
to get out of here!

Well, I'd say
the ninja crime wave

is a washout.

This is what the
ninja robots wore.

As I feared.

It is the uniform
of the foot clan.

My old enemy
oroku saki

must be nearby.

Relax. Everything
about that place

went straight
down the drain.

The robots, perhaps.

But saki is no easy
adversary to beat.

Master splinter,
if he lives, we'll find him.

We turtles don't know
the meaning of the word defeat.

That's right.
We never bothered

to look it up
in the dictionary.

Don't you guys take
anything seriously?

Of course we do.

Like what?

I should have guessed.
Oh, well.

Give me a slice of
the bananas and sausage,

will ya?