02x01 - Return of the Shredder

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪

♪ they're the world's
most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ and they're green ♪

Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil shredder
attacks ♪

♪ these turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads,
donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool
but rude ♪

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪♪




fudge. Let's see. Tofu
and bean sprouts.

Peanut butter and jelly. Desiccated
liver and herbed wheat germ.

Come on, Michelangelo.
Think healthy for a change.

You had peanut butter and jelly
on your pizza last night.

No way, bud.

I had chocolate chips
and caramel fudge.

Ok, lady. Put all
your money in a bag.

Will that be paper
or plastic?

Don't be a wise guy.
Just do it.

All right.
Only don't hurt me.

Michelangelo, look.

Check out the
checkout counter.

Those 2 scuzz buckets
are holding up the place.

But not for long.

Let's show 'em some turtle
crime fighting tactics.

Hai-yip-ta-da!

Who are you guys?

We're here to
take out the garbage.

Play ball,
creeps.

So you want to
play dirty, huh?

Strike one, dude.

Strike 2.

Ha ha! You missed!

You think so?

Strike 3. You're out!

Back off, weirdo.

Yechhh! Eggs.

[SIREN]
Uh-oh, the boys in blue.

We better book.

Right. But first...

Hey, what happened?

Let us out of here!

Gift-wrapped
for the police.

Could you check us out
fast, ma'am?

We're in an awful
big hurry.

You're the ones
who saved my life.

It's on the house.

Oh, radical!

Uh-oh, here they come.

Cowabunga!

This is April O'Neill
of channel 6.

Oh, right,
the happy hour news.

Exactly what
took place here?

These hoodlums
tried to rob me.

Then suddenly these
turtles showed up.

Did you say turtles?

Uh...Maybe they
were alligators.

I didn't have
my glasses on.

And so once again,
a crime was prevented

by a group
of heroic turtles.

Oh, then again,

it could've been
salamanders.

Those things all
look alike to me.

I tell you, krang,
our defeat was an accident.

Send me back to earth,
and I'll prove what I can do.

Krang, I implore you.
Send me back.

Send me back.
Send me back.

I'm tired of your
endless whining.

I will send you
back to earth.

You will not regret this,
krang.

Take this communicator.
And this time,

put an end to
this turtle business.

Earth, make way
for bebop and rocksteady.

And away we go.

Hey!

[LAUGHING]

Why'd you do that?

Because I enjoy seeing
both people and animals suffer.

And you, my friends,
are both.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

April, thank heavens
you're back.

There's a terrible
emergency.

What is it, Irma?

I chipped
one of my nails,

and I'm all out of
this color Polish.

Please, Irma,

I've got a problem.

You've got a problem?

What if some hunky guy
calls me for a date?

Well, April, did you
get the story?

Not on film,
Mr. Thompson.

But I just know
the turtles were there.

I'll bet they were. Probably
holding up the place.

Wrong. They're heroes,
I tell you.

Bushwa. Those turtles are the greatest
threat our city's ever faced.

You must help expose those mutants
for what they really are.

A menace to society.

But--but I couldn't
do that.

Then I'll find
someone else who can.

Right, Vernon?

Oh, I agree, Mr. Thompson.

Those turtles are nothing
but a slimy green pestilence.

What brought that on?

I think the answer
is right there.

Ohh, burnesie.

You're so manly when you
give orders like that.

Why, yes, I suppose
I am.

I just hate turtles

ever since my brother put one in
my bed when I was 5 years old.

Don't worry, my dear.

I'll protect you from this
dreaded reptile menace.

That's why he's on my
case about the turtles.

If you don't think
you can handle it...

Don't sweat it, Vernon.

If I had to, I'd do an
interview with bigfoot.

If you do, find out
if he's married.

Hey, Michelangelo
told us

how you trashed those


Just our luck
to miss it.

We could've used
the workout.

Oh, those dudes
were easy.

Not like taking on
shredder's foot ninjas.

Kinda weird, you know?

If it wasn't for shredder,

we'd still be


For sure.

That was pretty cool
the way his mutating gel

made us grow.

Yeah, but that same gel
left our master splinter

trapped in the form
of a rat.

Boy, I'd like to go
one on one

with that shred head.

Forget it, Raphael.

Shredder's stuck
in dimension x

along with that flipped-out
brain creature krang.

Leonardo, donatello,

Michelangelo, Raphael.

Master, splinter,
what is it?

I have had a terrible
premonition.

My life-long enemy,
saki the shredder,

is about to return.

Shredder?

But that's impossible.

We saw him sucked
into dimension x.

Evil that strong cannot
be so easily overcome.

I sense
terrible danger ahead.

This sure is a slow day.

We ain't mugged anybody
for a whole half hour.

Relax, pal. Some poor
sucker's bound to show up.

Aaahhh!

Ha ha. See?

What did I tell ya?

Ohh, where am I?

I got a better question.

How much money you got in
that stupid costume of yours?

Of course.
I'm in the big apple.

Foot soldiers,
bebop, rocksteady,

destroy these fools.

That old trick?

Forget it, pal.
It won't work.

Foot soldiers, did you
not hear my command?

Now just hand over
your dough.

I'll just have to
handle this myself.

Now...What were you
saying about money?

We were saying, here,

if you don't have any,
take ours.

Yeah, yeah,
and have a nice day.

Krang,
where is my army

and my technodrome
and all my weapons?

You failed to defeat
those miserable turtles

and their teacher splinter
with my help.

Now you must destroy them
on your own.

I will never give you
another speck of aid

until you prove
worthy of it.

I will show you, krang.

I will destroy
my enemies the turtles,

and then the world will
tremble before the shredder.

Hmm, the slash
for cash dojo,

the perfect place to begin
operation turtle destruction.

Oh, no, no, no!

What a bunch
of useless wimps.

The master is responsible
for the students.

Look, clown. Nobody
talks like that to smash,

master of
the slash for cash dojo.

I am now master
of this dojo,

and you will obey
my every command

or else.

Or else what, tin face?

Yaaahh!

Like I was saying, master,

you're the boss.

You got back
just in time, April.

What about you, April?
Anything on those turtles yet?

Well, no,
but you see, I...

Oh, burnesie.

It's lonely in there
without you.

You heard me.

Don't come back
without proof

of some insidious
turtle conspiracy.

I'm trying
to tell you.

The turtles
are not a threat.

They just want to be
left alone.

Ohh! Ooh! Don't
let her near me.

She's a nasty
old turtle lover.

There, there.
You're safe with me.

I'll get you
a story, all right.

One that proves
the turtles are heroes.

Hee-ya!
Hee-ya!

Hi-ya!
Hi-ya!

Excellent.

Under my tutelage,

you are ready
for action at last.

Ok, you former wimps

now belong to the crooked
ninja turtle g*ng.

Each of you will be given
one of these to wear

when we strike.

And strike we shall.

Don't anybody move!

We're the crooked
ninja turtle g*ng.

And when you
tell the cops,

remember
the turtles part.

If anybody asks,

we're the crooked
ninja turtle g*ng.

Yaaa!

And I thought they were
such nice boys.

Yaahhh!

Remember, we're the
crooked ninja turtle g*ng.

Here's our card.

APRIL: The jewelry store,
it's just been burglarized.

It's the robbers.

Make sure you get 'em.

Mr. Thompson
will be thrilled.

It was those awful teenage
mutant ninja turtles.

Those weren't
the turtles.

They were teenagers, they were
ninjas, and they were green.

Now, what would
you call them?

Well, shredder, what
have you to report?

Ha ha. My mock
turtle ninjas

have been
terrorizing the city

with a glorious
crime spree.

With the citizens
turned against them,

soon the real turtles will
be forced to the surface

to clear their name.

You call that a plan?

That will take forever.

I want results now.

Now! Now!

Don't contact me

until you have real
progress to report.

Good-bye.

Ohh, that leaves me
just one place to turn.

And then I said loose a horde
of robot rat catchers.

But unfortunately, we were
defeated by a talking rat

and some ninja turtles.

Sacre bleu!

We never had such problems
when I ruled France.

Ahh, Baxter stockman.

I've come for you.

Ze peasants
are revolting.

Au revoir,
mon ami.

Oh, please don't hurt
me, master shredder.

I promise I'll never
fail you again.

Oh, stop sniveling.

I need you to build the
ultimate rat catcher.

Yes, master.
I know just the thing.

Look. Every day,

I watch them digging
a tunnel with it.

Good. It will
serve us well.

When I'm finished
redesigning this thing,

not a rat in this city
will be safe.

Hee hee.

Aha, there's proof.

And you call these
turtles of yours heroes.

But I tell you, those
weren't the ninja turtles.

We'll run it
on the 11:00 news.

And that's an order.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Leonardo, this is April.

Come in, Leonardo.

Hi, April, it's donatello.
What's up?

Hurry down to the channel 6 offices.
It's an emergency.

You turtles are about to be
declared public enemy number one!

Whoa, check it out.

We're at the top
of the charts.

Yeah. Number one
with a b*llet.

Quit clowning, you guys.
This is serious.

We'll be right there.

Look, April's left
the light on for us.

Yo, April, grab on.

Now tell us about
this big emergency.

Yeah, like,
what's the haps?

Better yet,
I'll show you.

A group called the crooked
ninja turtle g*ng

has been committing robberies
all over the city.

Whoa, scope out
those awesome outfits.

You gotta admit
they do know how to dress.

Hold on, there's
something familiar

about that guy's
technique.

You're right. I've seen
it before someplace.

There are only 2 sensei who
could've taught them that.

Splinter or...

You don't mean...

I'm afraid I do.

Shredder.

Aaahhhh!

We're under attack.

It's a sonic
death ray.

Turtles!

It's them,
the ninja crooks.

Help. Somebody
call security.

Guys, it's time
to make tracks.

Let's stay in touch.

Just what were those
green t*rrorists doing here?

I...Um...
I lured them here

in order to, uh, uh...
Expose them.

And exactly what
are you doing here?

Tell her, snookums.

Well, I was...
I mean...I--I...

Never mind!

Good work, April.
Carry on.

What is that
strange noise?

It's no use running from the
ultimate rat catching machine.

[STRUGGLING]

It seems
there's no way out.

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

Master splinter, we have
some bad news to--

he's gone.

Someone or something
broke in.

This has to be
shredder's work.

Either that or some
totally humongous termite.

Let's go.

Here's where
the trail ends.

And here's where
the trouble begins.

You wimps are about to
become turtle toe jam.

We'll just see
about that.

Ok, ninja punks.
Get 'em!

Hyah!
Hyah!

Come and get me,
hot shots.

Michelangelo,
watch it.

Don't forget
to write, dudes.

Come on, guys, you can
do better than that.

Here, try these on for size.

What do you know?
A perfect fit.

Creep number 2,
comin' up.

♪ I've been working
on the oil drums ♪

No hard feelings.

Uh, right, guys?

Right.

I'm only gonna
ask you once.

Where's shredder?

He left you a message.

Right there.

We dare. We dare. We dare.

Hi, guys. I got here
as soon as I--

uh-oh, there's
been trouble here.

This probably isn't
very smart, but...

They might need
my help.

You do not truly believe
your students can defeat mine.

Those clumsy fools
I trained?

Ha ha ha ha.

They were merely a way
of delaying the turtles

until I could
complete my trap.

Now I can destroy
all of you.

No matter what
you do to me,

my turtles will
defeat you, shredder.

That's telling him,
master.

Shredder, if you dare touch
a whisker on his head...

Irma, send my news crew
on the double.

I've got a hot lead
on the turtle story.

Not another step,

or your furry sensei
will be crushed.

A rope. It leads to
a battering ram.

It's gotta weigh
megatons.

None of us could
stop that thing.

That's right, turtles.

Your master is
about to become history.

[RUMBLING]

Yo, bummer, guys.

Looks like we've got us
a massive problemo.

Greetings from your friendly
neighborhood rat catcher.

Baxter?

Don't you just hate it

when people
drop in unannounced?

Talking turtles.

Big green talking turtles.

Say sayonara, splinter.

Heh heh heh.

Aaahhhh!

Way to go, dudes!

Save me, master.
Save me.

Oh, useless jellyfish.

I have to do
everything myself.

Yaaahh!

Where are the brakes
on this thing?

The battering ram.

Raphael, jump!

You have done well,
my students.

Well, we're not
done yet.

Where's the shredder
gone to?

You haven't seen
the last of me, mutants.

This is only
the beginning.

[SIREN]

Uh-oh, that's
our cue to exit.

Oh, no, I don't
believe it.

It looks like
world w*r 11!

Roll tape, fellas.
We've got a story

that's gonna knock
the boss' socks off.

But I tell you
the plan was working

until that idiot Baxter
messed things up.

No excuses.

You were beaten
once again.

[LAUGHS]

Bozo.

Ha ha. Yeah.

Bozo.

Until you prove yourself,

you will not get one shred
of help from me.

[LAUGHING]

I vow to destroy splinter
and his accursed turtles,

and I will not rest
until I do.

This is April O'Neill
of channel 6 news.

Today the notorious
crooked ninja turtle g*ng

was captured

and revealed
for the hoax they are,

proving once and for all

that there's no such thing
as the green turtle menace.

Burnesie, how dare you let
her say such a thing!

But, Tiffany, honey,
it's the truth.

Admit it.

You love turtles,
don't you?

No, no, baby.

I hate turtles, honest.

Here's your lunch,
boss.

Let's see. Uh... You ordered
the mock turtle soup.

[GASPS] What?

I knew you were
a lousy turtle lover.

Good-bye!

I guess she's not
a soup lover either.

So far, no one knows
the identity

of the mysterious
green heroes

who stopped
this crime spree.

But whoever you are,

thanks.

Right on, babe.

She was winking
at me, you know.

You're totally
warped, dude.

She was winking
at me.

Get real, you guys.
It was meant for yours truly.

I hate to argue, fellas,

but I think she
meant it for me.

[ALL ARGUING]

Cool it, fellas.

If you must know,

I was winking at...

Splinter.

I don't believe that!

Age has its privileges.