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03x04 - The Maltese Hamster

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles". Aired: December 28, 1987 – November 2, 1996.*
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Set in New York City, the series follows the adventures of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their allies as they battle the Shredder, Krang, and numerous other villains and criminals.

03x04 - The Maltese Hamster

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪

♪ they're the world's most
fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ and they're green ♪

Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil shredder
attacks ♪

♪ these turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads,
Donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool
but rude ♪

Gimme a break!

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ teenage mutant
ninja turtles ♪

♪ heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ turtle power ♪♪




me, a lardo?

No way, dudes.

Read it and weep,
Michelangelo.

RAFAEL: How can he? His
stomach's in the way.

Yeah, Rafael's right.

One more pizza
with chocolate sprinkles

and you'll have to
let out your shell.

Exactly, Donatello.
It's time you practiced

some self-discipline,
Michelangelo.

Oh, bummer.

Michelangelo,

don't leave while
master splinter

is giving
you advice.

Believe me,
this isn't my idea.

Ow!

Whoa!
Whoa!

Whatever Michelangelo's
got is catching.

Master,
what's going on?

I have my suspicions,
but it is too soon to tell.

Finally, we have
the perfect weapon.

A gravity altering
device.

With it, I can
control gravity

and force the city

to obey
my every command!

Ha ha ha ha!

Your command?

I'm the one
who invented it.

Krang,
you're nothing

but a throbbing,
pulsating brain.

Why not leave
the messy details

of conquering
the world to me.

I'm increasing its

anti-gravitational
potency

to go beyond

the subterranean
level.

No, stop! It's not
perfected yet.

I can't wait any longer.

I want this city to
grovel at my feet now!

Shredder, you're
an insane, power-mad thing!

Thank you.

IRMA: April, I think
I finally met Mr. right.

That's wonderful, Irma.

This time
it's the real thing, April.

Oh, he really sweeps me
off my feet.

So I see.

Irma, what's
happening to us?

You, too?

So, you have that effect
on all women.

And I thought you
were faithful to me.

Aah!
What's going on?

April, this is
all your fault!

When you asked
that tightwad Thompson

for a raise, everything
hit the ceiling.

What's that, Vernon?

Oh! Uh, hi there,
Mr. Thompson.

Nice of you
to drop in. I mean up.

Ow!

I'll bet those outlaw turtles
are behind this.

I don't think so,
Mr. Thompson.

Don't defend them!
It's just the sort of trick

those sewer-swimming
juveniles would pull!

April, do you think

maybe those turtles
did cause this?

No way, Irma,

but maybe they can
save us from it.

Come in, turtles.

This is April.
I need help.

[BEEPING]

Whoa! Something truly
freakazoid's happening.

All this bouncing
on the ceiling

has my ears beeping.

No, that's
my turtlecom.

April, this is Leonardo.
What's up?

We are.

Something's gone
crazy with gravity.

Tell me about it. We're
having the same problem.

What do you think
is causing it?

My guess is

it has something to do
with shredder and krang.

Krang, you're such
a worry wart.

The gravity-altering
device

is working
perfectly.

Now to increase
the power.

No! No! You'll cause
an overload.

Nonsense. I know
what I'm doing.

Great.

The biggest story
of my career,

and I can't get down
to cover it.

Well, you said
you wanted

to make it to the top
of the company.

This must be
a dream.

Somebody splash some
water on my face.

Oh!

It's not a dream.
It's a nightmare.

Somebody pinch me,
please.

Irma, are you
all right?

Sure. I'm used
to being dropped.

Donatello,
is that you?

What's going on?

I wish I knew, April.

First we're floating,
then we're crashing.

A mondo nutzoid
experience, dudes.

Yeah. If you can't
trust mother gravity,

who can you trust?

Now I'm certain that
shredder is behind this.

We must stop him.

You fool! I warned you
the device wasn't perfected!

Oh. I haven't time for
such niggling details.

What are you doing?!

You're not licensed
to make those adjustments.

I'm making
emergency repairs.

A few simple
adjustments,

and I can cause
some real damage.

Picking up any
signals, Donatello?

Gravity scope
registers a total zip.

Let's pack it in, guys.

We've been searching
for two hours

and haven't found diddly.

It is possible that
anti-gravity glitch

was just a freak
of nature.

Talk about freaking.

Scope out the street
just ahead.

Something's radiating
from beneath the street.

Leonardo,
hit the brakes.

I'm trying, but

something's pulling
us toward it.

[ALL SHOUTING]

Great. More falling
on our heads.

What's going on?

It's some kind
of hyper-gravity.

And it's not just
affecting us. Look.

Whatever it is

has the whole city
in its clutches.

Oh, beautiful, isn't it?
The perfect way

to bend a city
to my will.

Fool! What good is a city
that can't move?

Don't you see, krang?

Citizens who can't move
can't fight back.

Rock steady, bebop,
are you ready?

Yeah. Ready
to make turtle stew

out of those shell backs.

[SNORT] We'll mash 'em
into mush.

Just remember,

you're wearing
antigravity boots.

As long as you keep
those boots on,

you can move
anywhere.

Now get to work!

Work? This is going
to be pure pleasure.

Please unlock my feet.

I've got to go home and
cook dinner for my husband!

The nerve!
Keeping us here

until we buy
your tacky dresses.

Honest, ladies,
I'm not doing it.

I can't move,
either.

Hey, look! A ladie''
dress shop.

Gee, I never been
in one before.

Aah!

Ooh!

All right,
quit gawking.

We ain't got time
for a fashion show.

We gotta find
them turtles.

Come on!

You win. I'll buy
the dress.

I'll buy all
of your dresses!

Lady, I had nothing
to do with it.

Mondo bizarro,
dudes.

Well, it could be worse.

Yeah? How?

Uh, that's how.

It's those freakazoids
bebop and rock steady.

Looks like they have
no trouble walking.

Turtle alert!
We're under attack!

It's turtle trashin' time!

[SNORTING]
Ok, troops, fall in

for some lootin'
and shootin'.

♪ I'm gonna crack
some shells ♪

How come
those sleazoids

can walk around,
and we can't?

It probably
has to do with

those klutzy boots
they're wearing.

Oh, man, I'd sure like to
get my hands on their feet.

Michelangelo,
you just gave me an idea.

When rock steady gets here,
keep him distracted.

Yummy!
My favorite dish.

Turtles in a stew.

Hey, rhino breath!

I bet
you're too chicken

to step inside.

Oh, yeah?
Just watch.

Hey, dude,
why don't you

take that bony nose
of yours and blow.

Oh, yeah?

I'm going to walk
all over your face.

Ow!

It worked!
Grab him!

He's grabbed.

Donatello, help me
get his boots.

Whew! This is
hazardous work.

Hey, you wimps!

Give me back my boots.

Can't somebody
make him pipe down?

Hey!

Ooh!

Quick thinking,
Donatello.

Michelangelo,
hold still.

This is
a 3-point shot.

All right! These boots
were made for walking.

Then walk out there
and capture more

antigravity boots
for the rest of us.

Whoa! These boots
are really righteous.

Too bad they
don't come in green.

Ouch!

Oh, no!

Foot soldiers
after my footgear.

And the hyper-gravity's

put my chuks
in slo-mo mode.

Bummer.

Their ray blasters
are in fast mode.

But I got
a rad idea.

Oh, I sure hope
this works.

Ciao, dudes.

Ha ha ha!

Score--turtles 2.

Bad guys...Zippo.

Hey, guys.
Watch the birdies.

No, don't you get it?

The birds--
they're flying.

Everything else
is stuck to the ground,

but the birds are above
the pull of gravity.

If we can get
to the turtle blimp,

we can fly, too.

Yeah, but we got to walk
out of here first.

Hey, it's
a done deed, dudes. Ha ha.

Got your antigravity boots.

Four boots
for six feet?

No problem, guys.
I've got the solution.

Well, guys,
what do you think?

I think all that time
upside-down

affected your brain.

Hey, it's either this

or someone rides you
turtle-back.

With total mastery
of gravity,

I control what rises
and what falls.

Shredder, I see that power
makes you light-headed.

I tell you, krang,
the world is mine!

Ahem. Ours.

So why are those
stupid mutants of yours

signaling for help?!

Bebop, rock steady,
where are the turtles?

They clobbered
your foot soldiers

and stole their boots.

You pathetic peons!

Can't I trust you to
do anything right?

Where are you going?

To the surface

to take personal charge
of things.

Donatello,
you were right.

The hyper-gravity force

only extends about a dozen
feet above the earth.

Now all we have
to do is locate

the source of it.

Do those
insufferable turtles

really think they can
get the best of me?

Heh heh. A minor adjustment
to these anchor boots

and a major adjustment to
the gravity-altering device,

and we'll see
how the turtles deal

with ultra
reverse gravity.

What is that maniac
shredder doing?

Leonardo, look out
for that cat!

Meow!

What's a cat
doing up here?

Probably asking
that same question

about four turtles.

It's getting
mondo crowded up here.

Look!
The objects floating up

are getting bigger
and bigger.

No wonder. The gravity force
is now in full reverse.

Hang on! I have
to use full power

to keep us
from drifting away.

Look! Even buildings
are breaking loose.

Mega disaster, dudes!

If I can't
dominate this city,

I'll destroy it

by letting it float
completely off the planet.

[LAUGHING]

The entire city
is floating away.

Cowabunga!
A pizza truck.

You know, the world's
really gone bizarro

when pizzas
bite you back.

Look out!
Flying food.

Look what's headed
this way now.

It's rock steady
and bebop.

Hang on! We're
going to collide!

Yeow!
Ugh!

Ooh. That smarts.

Enjoy it, pig face.

That's the only kind of
smarts you'll ever have.

It's the turtles!

You wimps are about
to get mashed.

Hey! Come back.

Where are you guys
going?

You suppose it was
something we said?

If this reverse gravity
gets any worse,

the whole city will be
a vacant lot.

Leonardo, help!

The channel 6 building
is pulling away

from its foundation!

We're trapped
on the roof.

Help is on its way,
ladies. Hang on.

Believe me,
I have every intention.

The turtles are coming
as fast as they can.

Oh, great.

My life depends on
the speed of a turtle.

What's that?

We're lifting
into the sky!

Quick, Leonardo.

We've got to anchor down
the building.

Prepare to launch
grappling hook.

Fire!

Good shot,
Leonardo.

Piece of cake.

Now let's find another
building to anchor to,

something...Humongous.

How's that one?

They don't get

much more humongous
than that.

Great. Now for
the finishing touches.

Hold her steady,
Leonardo.

Primo to the extremo.

You were right, April.

The turtles did save us.

You ladies ok?

Ahh, we're fine
thanks to you.

I could kiss you fellas
if you had lips.

What's causing
all this craziness?

I think I've come up
with a theory.

Look over there.

Those energy rays pulsating
up from the ground.

You think
the reverse gravity

is coming from there?

As Michelangelo
would say,

exactamundo,
dude.

Exacta--so like what
do we do about it?

See that stupendous dish?

Why, thank you,
Donatello.

Not you, Irma.

I was talking about
that satellite dish.

Oh. It's just like a man
to choose TV over me.

Donatello, next time
you get a brainstorm,

make it a small one.

Good luck, guys.

Come back with
my satellite dish,

you sewer-dwelling
swamp rats!

Chill out, dude.
We're just borrowing it.

Yeah, do you mind?
We're only trying

to save the earth
from total disaster.

The closer we get
to the center

of the reverse
gravity force,

the harder it is for
the turtle blimp to fly.

I'm not sure our motors
can handle this.

We'll have to go in
with just the glider.

We're moving closer.

The reverse gravity force
is taking over.

Raphael, Michelangelo.
Aim the satellite dish

at the reverse-gravity
field.

Like what's
the plan, man?

There's no time
to explain. Just do it!

That's it.
Pour it on.

It worked!

Boy, it sure did.

How'd we do it?

Simple. We reversed
the reverse gravity.

I knew I should
have never

let shredder
handle this.

Now I'll do it
my way.

Hey. What's happening?

Someone's cranked

the power up
full blast.

The only thing better
than maximum power

is super maximum power.

Hey, Donatello,

what happens when
too much reverse gravity

hits too much
reverse gravity?

You know, that's
a good question, Raphael...

And I think it's
about to get answered.

Yeow!

Here, Raphael.
Grab on.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, how come
I fell down

instead of up?

Looks like gravity
is back to normal.

Oops.

Uh-oh. April's boss is
gonna be mondo ticked off.

Know where can we get
about 8 tons

of epoxy glue?

Hey, what's going on?

First we floating
and then we're falling.

Yeah. I wish gravity

would make up
its stupid mind.

Looks like shredder's
about to get

a couple of bundles
from heaven.

Now where are rock steady
and bebop? D'oh!

Hi, boss.

Oh, you nuclear-age
numskulls!

Where have you been?

Oh, here and there.

Blast it!

Those turtles
foiled us again.

You wretched reptiles!
You'll pay for this.

Yeah, and bring cash.

[SNORTS]
We don't take plastic.

Uh-oh. Shredder and
his g*ons are getting away!

Freeze, sleaze.

Sayonara, you
shell-backed simpletons.

Come back here,
shred head.

Let's tangle.

Ow!
Ouch!

You should be happy,
fellas.

Shredder escaped,

but at least
we saved the city.

Oh, yeah, we're dancing
in the streets.

Ouch!
Ooh!

Yike!
Ow!

Donatello,
how is the repair work

on the satellite dish
progressing?

All finished, master,
and it's as good as new.

Donatello,
you're wonderful.

The dish is repaired
and the city is saved.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
we had something

to do with it, too,
you know.

Gangway, dudes.

Hot pizzas
coming through.

Are those for
the victory celebration?

Heck, no.

They're for me.

Michelangelo,
what about your diet?

Master, I spent
the entire day

being lighter than air.
It was a total bummer.

I'm just gonna make sure

I never
float away again.

[GIGGLES]