05x20 - Michalangelo, the Sacred Turtle

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Look out, dude.

He's right behind you!

[Donatello]
Michelangelo.
[rasping]

Whoa!

Hey, come on with us.

We're gonna go see
O'Malley's comet.

No thanks.

You dudes go ahead
without me.

I already read the book.

It's not a movie.

It's a real comet
that only appears once
every hundred years.

And we're all going
to the planetarium
to watch it.

Come on, wouldn't you dudes
rather stay and watch

Chain-g*ng Mummy
with me?

Chain-g*ng Mummy?

Yeah, it's part
of the Mummy Movie Marathon.

Twelve hours of tombs
and glooms.

Forget it, guys.
It's a dead issue.

[TurtleCom chirping]

Now what?

Oh, hey, April.

What's the haps, dudette?

Actually, I'm on my way
to the Natural History Museum.

I could use a little company.

Uh, no thanks, April.

I'm right in the middle
of a mummy movie.

I'm talking about
a real mummy.

They're about to open
the sarcophagus
of Amen Turt-el.

There's supposed to be
a curse on it.

A curse?

Whoa! I'm on my way.

Forget it, fella.

I'm off to see the real thing.

[TV shuts off]

Cowabunga!

[April]
I have the strangest feeling
that someone is watching us.

Ahh!
Whoa!

Sorry, chaps.

Hope my man Casbah
didn't startle you.

No, my eyes always
bug out like this.

Fascinating.

I am Sir Percival Pifflecoot,
world renowned Egyptologist.

An Egypt-what-agist?

Egyptologist.

He's an expert
in Egyptian archeology.

Quite right, my dear.

And I would like you
to take a warning
for those, uh--

those publicity-hungry
fools in there.

What warning is that,
Sir Percival?

If they do not leave
the sarcophagus

of Amen Turt-el in peace,
his spirit will be angered,

and there's no telling
what might happen.

[Man]
A curse?
What nonsense.

That Pifflecoot
is simply jealous

because I,
Professor Tut,

found the tomb
of Amen Turt-el
before he did.

Professor, will you tell
our viewers what you expect
to find in there?

Certainly, Ms. O'Neil.

According to these
hieroglyphics,

we should see
not only the mummy

of the great
Amen Turt-el,

but a fabled ruby
known as the Turtle's Eye.

[creaking]

[gasps]

[Michelangelo]
Holy guacamole!

It is a ruby!

[April]
Whoa, what happened
to the lights?

[Michelangelo]
Then went out, just like
in Return of the Mad Mummy!

Or was that
The Martian Mummy's Revenge?

You were warned, mortals!

Now you are cursed by Osiris,
ruler of the departed souls.

[laughs]

I'll say one thing
for the dude,

he sure knows how
to make an entrance.

[Professor Tut]
Oh, no!

The ruby, it's missing!

More importantly,
so is April!

Help! Police!

I sure hope this thing
reaches the planetarium.

Come in, amigos!
Mayday! Mayday!

Oh, is this ever incredible.

Look, Leonardo.

[Leonardo]
O'Malley's Comet is affecting
the moon's radiation.

[Donatello]
It looks like ultra-thermionic
radiation to me.

Yeah, or else they forgot
to clean the lens.

[TurtleCom chirping]
Huh?

The TurtleCom.

[static]

Mummy...tomb...
stolen ruby!

Oh, poor Michelangelo.

He's still talking about
that scary mummy movie.

Bummer, the dudes
are out of range.

Hold on.
Foot prints.

Whoa, look at the size
of those dogs.

This dude could put out
forest fires with his feet.

They must belong
to that humongazoid Casbah.

[Sir Percival]
Well, Casbah, how did it go?

Mission accomplished, Master.

Beautiful, Casbah.
Marvelous.

Open sesame.

Here she is, Master,
just as you commanded.

Put me down,
you big gorilla!

[screams]

Oh!

Welcome to
my humble sphinx,
Ms. O'Neil.

The only thing that sphinx
around here is you!

Exactly what's the big idea?

You will speak softly
in the presence of my master.

Or what?

Or this!

[whispering]
So what's the big idea?

You are about to see
history made,

my inquisitive reporter.

O'Malley's Comet?

Yes, but that is only
half the story.

You stole
the Turtle's Eye ruby?

No, no, no,
it's isn't a ruby,

but a ray magnifier
of immense power.

[snap]

When O'Malley's Comet
is in position,

its rays will activate
the mystic properties
of the Turtle's Eye.

Its combined power
will make me as omnipotent

as the pharaohs
of ancient Egypt.

And you, Ms. O'Neil,
will be my devoted
hand maiden.

Why me?

Because, darling, I just adore
female TV reporters.

I may collect the whole set.

Forget it, Pifflecoot!

The police will
track you down
in no time!

Oh...I think not.

Thanks to Casbah's
convincing performance
as Osiris--

nicely done, Casbah--
that nitwit Tut

will have them investigating
some silly curse, not me.

For now,
take her away, Casbah.

You'll be sorry,
Pifflecoot.

Wait'll my friends the Turtles
hear about this.

Yo, April, are you in here?

Here's her TurtleCom,
but she's nowhere in sight.

So where'd the dudette
split to?

Oh, no.

They went out the window.

Major bummer!

Whoever got April
must be long gone by now.

[yelps]

You have stolen
the Turtle's Eye, infidel.

For that, you must perish!

[Michelangelo]
Whoa! Qué pasa?

Infidel, you will suffer
a thousand miseries

for stealing the sacred ruby
of the Turtle's Eye.

Uh-oh.
Adios and good-bye!

Chill out, compadre.
I'm a good guy.

Seize him!

And make it 1,001 miseries.

Whoa, dudes, how about
cutting me a little slack?

Right, bad idea.

Only one way to deal
with these dudes.

Cowabunga!

Whoa!

Oof!

[yelling]

[all gasp]

All bow before
Amen Turt-el.

Who?
Amen Turt-el,
the scared turtle.

Who am I to argue?

[Donatello]
Boy, I'm worried
about Michelangelo.

It's not like him to leave
the Mummy Movie Festival.

Where could he have
disappeared to?

Knowing him, he probably
went out for more pizza.

Wrong. He never
finished this one.

Now I know something is wrong.

Maybe there's something
on the late news.

And the big question is,

has the curse
of Amen Turt-el struck?

Turtle who?
A curse?
What's he talking about?

That is the opinion
of Sir Percival Pifflecoot,

famed Egyptologist.

Oh, there's no doubt
it's the curse.

I mean, how would you
like someone opening
your sarcophagus?

It sounds like
a million laughs to me.

Tragically, the first victim
of the ancient curse

was Channel Six's
very own April O'Neil.

April?
April?
What?

Here is her final footage
shot at the museum.

Here we see Professor Tut
opening Amen Turt-el's
sarcophagus...

along with
an unidentified sailor.

[Turtles]
Michelangelo!

And that, according
to Professor Tut,

was the moment at which
both April O'Neil

and the fabled ruby
disappeared,

victims of the dreaded curse.

Bye-bye, April.

We'll miss you.

But on the bright side,
you viewers

will have yours truly,
Vernon Fenwick,

to carry Channel Six
to even greater heights.

It looks like
Michelangelo and April
disappeared together.

We'd better check out
that museum.

[Michelangelo]
Mondo bizarro.

We did not know
it was you,
oh Sublime One.

Hey, no problemo.

We all make mistakes.

Then, we are forgiven,
Mighty Ruler?

Look, dude,
I'm just a plain,

ordinary Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle,

who happens to be looking
for his favorite dudette April.

Of course, oh Great One.

We understand your wish
to travel incognito.

If that means economy class,
you're right.

We have come to return
the Turtle's Eye

to the Valley of the Kings.

But of course you,
the All Knowing One,
already knew that.

I did?

Oh, Mighty One...

if you will help us
find the ruby,

we will help you
find this--

this...dudette.

Dude, it's a done deal.

Wow.

Hey, you guys have
gotta read this.

Gee, I haven't
read a really good
sarcophagus in years.

No, I'm serious.

The scribe they used
to carve this lid

must have been a temp.

I mean, it's full
of mistakes.

Like, what kind
of mistakes?

Well, for one thing,
there is no curse
of Amen Turt-el.

I mean, it says
"the purse of Amen Turt-el."

Well, that's a natural mistake.

Don't you see?

If Professor Pifflecoot
is such an expert,

how come he didn't
catch that?

Hmm, maybe we ought
to go ask him.

Right. We'll get
the professor's address

from the Turtle Van
computer.

[Sir Percival]
Wonderful, fabulous.

O'Malley's Comet
is right on schedule.

Today, the city.
Tomorrow...

Well, you know the rest.

Ah, Ms. O'Neil...

you look positively radiant
as an Egyptian queen.

How come you crackpots always
want to take over the world?

What, you mean aside
from the limitless power
and wealth,

and the chance
to get back at anyone

who ever hurt your feelings?

No special reason.

Follow me.

We're about to begin
phase two.

We must hurry,
oh...Stupendous One,

if the thief intends
to use the comet's rays

to activate the ruby
of the Turtle's Eye.

Lighten up, compadre.

What could happen?

Our legend tells us
that the ruby's energy

will cause the comet
to crash into the Earth.

Ouch, I had to ask.

To use your words,
oh Great One,

we would all bite
the big burrito.

Whoa, that sure changes things.

How do we find
the ruby-copping dude?

We suspect
the strange professor
and his associate.

Wait a minute,
those footprints
belong to Casbah.

I'll bet he took April.

And-- And what was that
professor dude's name?

Pennyflapper?
Eh, Piddlefinger?

Here we go,
Pifflecoot.



Pea-jacket, servant dudes.

You know,
with a little effort

I could almost
get used to this.

[punching keypad]

Exactly where
are you taking me?

I've prepared
for this moment for years,

ever since
I first learned

of the powers
of the Turtle's Eye.

The comet is now
in perfect alignment.

Casbah, the ruby.

The ruby is ready
to be activated, Master.

Beautiful.

All that remains
is to take this pyramid

up to the surface.

Pyramid?

Of course, darling.

The perfect throne room
for Percival the Perfect.

Ten, nine, eight...

All right, compadres,
let's scope out the action.

[Servant]
There is no door,
oh, uh, Awesome One.

This is,
as you would say, bogus.

Totally, dude.

Most excellent point.

Hmm...but there is a door bell.

[buzz]
Yow!

[all yelling]

Holy guacamole.
Where are we?

Check out the sign, amigo.

What's it say?

Hmm...hmm...

Oh, my goodness gracious!

Hmm, hmm, hmm...

All right,
enough suspense, dude.

What's it say?

Hmm...hmm...

Is says, "You are here...
in the crushing room."

The crushing room?

Wuh-oh, dudes.

What?
Yow!

What do we do now,
oh Great One?

I was just about to ask you
the same thing.

[all shouting]

[men wailing]

The room,
it is shrinking!

Looks like
we've been invited

to an old-fashioned
get-together.

[both chanting]
Cowabunga...

Cowabunga?

Yes! Uh, fantastic one.

They are speaking
your magic words
for good luck.

[both]
Exactamundo.
Compadre. Guacamole.

It appears the magic words
have not yet taken effect.

Yeah, well, it loses
a little something
in the translation.

Oh!

Whoa, I just got
a mondo notion.

We're outta here, amigos!

Coolumongous.
Totally awesome.

[Sir Percival]
It's glowing.

At last, the comet
and the Turtle's Eye

are in perfect alignment.

What's going on?

[chuckles]

Always the inquisitive
reporter, aren't we?

If you must know, the great
Pifflecoot pyramid is rising.

The reign
of Percival the Perfect
is about to begin.

This is the old
World's Fair site.

And Pifflecoot
lives in a sphinx.

That figures.
Let's check it out.

That's strange.
Whoa!
Whoa!

We never get earthquakes
in this part of the country.

[yelling]

Never say "never," ever!

[Leonardo]
What's that?

[Donatello]
It's an exact replica

of the pyramid
of Amen Turt-el.

Eh, all these pyramids
look alike to me.

Now what?

[Turtles]
Whoa!

It's locked
onto O'Malley's Comet.

This must be
Pifflecoot's doing.

Let's find out
what he's up to.

Hey, look.
I found a door bell.

[buzz]

Hey!

[all screaming]

[Servant]
This is most difficult work.

Absolutely.
Oh, too intense.

Whoa!
Hey!
What the--

Michelangelo.

You can warn a guy
when you're going
to drop in, dude.

Ay! Devil turtles!

Chill out, amigos.

These are my bros
and all-around fave dudes.

All hail to the, uh,
Radiant One's fave dudes.

Tubuloso.

Radical, man.

So, why did you guys
drop in?

We were looking for you
and April, oh, uh...

[snickers]
...Radiant One.

Yeah. Then, just as
we got here,

a pyramid rose up
and sent a beam

toward O'Malley's Comet.

Oh, my goodness
gracious me!

This Pifflecoot
has activated the ruby
of the Turtle's Eye.

What's he saying?
What?
The Turtle's Eye?

When you line up
the comet and the ruby,

it gives off
some weird super powers.

But no longer.

Now it will simply
cause the comet

to crash into the Earth.

But of course,
you already knew that.

Of course.

He's right.

The comet's
unstable orbit

causes empathetic
harmonic oscillations.

Well, just as long
as we don't get
squashed flat.

That, too.

We've got to get
through this wall

and find Pifflecoot.

Well, what are we waiting for?

I can feel
its power already.

Soon I will be
Percival the Perfect,

the greatest pharaoh
of all time.

"Percival the Pitiful"
would be more like it.

Flippant talk
from a soon-to-be
lifelong servant.

[Casbah]
Master! Master!

What is it?

Master, there are intruders
in the sphinx.

Well, don't just
stand there, you nut.

Go capture them.

Yes, Master.
Right away.

A P.A. system
inside a pyramid?

Why not?

This is the 20th century.

Whoever's in the sphinx,
watch out!

The bad guys are coming!

I repeat, the bad guys
are coming!

It's April.

Looks like we'll have to
split into two teams

to stop that comet.

I'll need
my laser generator

to redirect the comet.

I'll take you
to the lair
to get it.

You and Michelangelo
can take out
Pifflecoot's ray.

Sure. And on the way back
we'll stop and, I don't know,

win World w*r III?

We will help you,
um, eh, Most Serene
and Sacred Turtle.

Kick some shell!
Exactamundo!

You know,
I feel so much better

knowing that
they're on our side.

Looks like Pifflecoot
didn't leave us too much time.

Let's make turtle tracks!

Excellent, dudes!
We're out!

Right. Out of the frying pan
and into the fire.

[both]
Turtles fight with honor!

Yes! And we do, too!

Totally triumphant!
Tough tamales!

[shouting]

Why not use a small burst
of your all-destroying flame,

um, oh Majestic One?

I'd rather not, compadre.

It's not safe
to play with fire.

Ahh!
Whoa!

Not that this
is all that safe.

[Donatello]
The ray is diverting
the comet's course.

And it's headed
straight for Earth!

Hang on, Donatello.

We're almost
at the planetarium.

[Donatello]
I only hope we're in time.

Now, pay close attention,
Ms. O'Neil.

You're about to witness
my grand transformation.

[commotion]

What's going on?

[shouting]

April!

[whistles]
Nice outfit.

Look out!

Oh, no.

The suspense has been
most exciting,

uh, but it is permissible
to make your move now,

oh Astounding One.

Yeah, oh, uh,
Astounding One.

Don't let us stop you.

For sure!
Bodacious!

But I feel so silly
in this outfit.

I could die of embarrassment.

Would you rather die
of sword poisoning.

Since you put it that way...

Ta-da!

[Servants gasping]

[Servants in unison]
All hail the sacred Turt-el!

The sacred Turt-el?

[laughs]
I don't believe it.

Well, I'm afraid
you have to, dude.

It's too late
to rewrite the script.

[Servants]
Hail Turt-el!

[Leonardo]
Hurry, Donatello!

Just a few more degrees
and...got it!

You did it!

You saved the Earth
from being demolished

by a runaway comet.

[sighs]
True.

But it's all
in a day's work

for a Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle.

What?

My chance of pharaohood...

[raspberry]
...gone?

Yeah,
just like us, dude.

Get yourself
another hand maiden.

I quit!

Cowabunga!
Right on!

[munching]

This is a most unusual place
for a farewell banquet.

Do you question the will
of the mighty Turt-el?

Such a thought
would be unthinkable,

oh, um, Worshipful One.

Absolutemente.
No way, dude.

That's better.

Uh, excuse us, Abdul,

but I think all this
excitement has gone

to the mighty Turt-el's
swollen noggin.

Hey! Whoa, dudes!

Wait! Cut that out!

Yes, he's getting a little
too wrapped up in himself.

[muffled cries]

Good night, fellas.

Gentlemen, it's,
um, eh...scarf time!

[Servant 2]
Righteous notion, dude!

[Servant 3]
Cowabunga!

[munching]

[loud belch]

♪♪ [theme]