06x01 - Rock Around the Block

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [theme]

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪ They're the world's ♪

♪ Most fearsome
fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪
Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil Shredder
attacks ♪

♪ These Turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads ♪

♪ Donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool
but rude ♪
Gimme a break.

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

All right, Michelangelo,
you've cowa'd your last bunga!

Now way, dude.

Prepare to be most
excellently thrashed.

Whaaa-gee!

Uh, what say we make it
two out of three?

Ah! Ah!

Come on, Leonardo,
why don't you attack me?

What is the matter
with you?

Why won't you
fight back?

Whoa!

Donatello, it appears
you have been defeated

by the principle
of Wu-Wee.

Wu-wah?

Wu-Wee.

It is an ancient
Oriental concept.

The art
of Doing Without Action.

Like, say again,
Master Splinter.

By doing nothing,

Leonardo turned Donatello's
as*ault against him,

just as the gentlest waves

will eventually wear away
the mightiest boulder.

Whoa!

Pretty heavy philosophical
stuff for a cartoon show.

[Shredder]
Are we going to spend
the rest of our lives

trapped in this blasted ice?

I'm going
out of my mind.

Lucky you.

Me, I can't go out of my mind.

It's all I've got.

Nothing but snow
all around us.

I can't take much
more of this.

We thought you might
be feeling a little
down, boss.

So, we made something
to cheer you up.

Snow cones.

Snow cones?

Uh, we was only
tryin' to help!

Then go do
something useful,

like cleaning up
this place!

I guess I could organize
my comic book collection.

You mean my comic book
collection.

Those are my
comic books!

No, mine!

This is April O'Neal--
Oh, what a team.

...Channel 6 News.

Those cretins are
fighting over comics,

and you're watching TV.

Shredder,
shut up and listen!

It's April O'Neal, and we
have to develop a story plot.

This booster rocket
will launch the new
defense satellite

into orbit at dawn today.

The satellite's primary
feature is a super laser beam

able to cut
through solid rock.

Or solid ice.

But how can we control the ray
when it's in outer space?

With this remote
control device.

If we can plant it
on the satellite,

I can operate
that super laser

from here
in the Technodrome.

There's just one
problem, Crane.

The turtles.

Every time we come up with a
plan to free the Technodrome,

they manage to ruin it.

Oh, will you relax, Shredder?

This time I have a plan

for dealing with those
meddlesome reptiles.

Follow me.

Now to open the portal
to Dimension X.

Welcome, General Tragg.

I have a mission for you.

As you command, Lord Krang.

Where is his army
of rock soldiers?

He won't need them this time.
What?

That boulder brain won't
stand a chance against the
turtles without his troops.

This will even out the odds.

What the devil is that?

I call it the Rockalyzer.

A ray that vitalizes
anything made of mineral.

Observe.

Hey, gimme that copy
of Captain Cow!

No way.
Captain Cow is mine.

Ow! Quit it!
Ow!

I mean it!
That smarts!

Hey!
Ugh!

Whoa!

So you can activate
a few pebbles.

Big deal.

Pebbles?

The Rockalyzer
can move mountains!

But why should Tragg get
this power instead of me?

Because who better
than a rock soldier

to control rocks?

It's his element.

But the turtles
have dishonored me!

By ninja law,
they are mine to defeat.

Calm down, Shredder.

While General Tragg
keeps the turtles busy,

you will break
into the launch pad

and place the remote control
device on the satellite.

Ooh! It's a much more
important task.

Maybe, but beating up
the turtles

is much more fun.

Where are we?

We'll soon find out.

Uh, gee, it sure is dark
and spooky in here.

Oh, who's afraid
of a little--

Dinosaur!

Mama!
Mama!

Oh, knock it off,
you boneheads.

You brought us up
in the Natural History Museum.

Oh, no wonder.

History always
makes me hysterical.

Come on.
We've got work to do.

Tragg, get busy
with that Rockalyzer.

Now, my brother rocks,

obey me as if you were
my soldiers.

Good, but we can do better

and bigger.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, what a dull night.

There isn't a good story
happening anywhere.

Then why you do like I do?

Whenever I have free time,

I just practice my new
anti-stress technique.

Transcendental
procrastination.

Transcendental
procrastination?

That's right.

The art of doing absolutely
nothing whatsoever.

Hi.

Welcome to Lesson 4,
fellow slackers.

Now we're going to start by
just staring out the window,

like so.

Oh, very good.

You're doing splendidly.

I think Vernon's finally
found something he's good at.

April! Vernon!
Quit goofing off!

We just got a report

that all the rocks in Central
City Park have gone whacko!

Rocks? Gone whacko?

Don't argue. Just get
over there right away!

All right now, Raphael,

We're going to see
if your strength

is a match
for the power of Wu-Wee.

Come on, come on, hit me
with your best shot.

Heh, whatever you say.

Hey! What?

Oh!

No fair!

Since when is a sofa
a combat weapon?

Hey, a good ninja can defend
himself with anything.

It appears that you have
not yet mastered

the concept of Wu-Wee,
Donatello.

No.

But I am learning a lot
about interior decorating.

[beeping]

Hey, guys, it's me.

What's up, April?

I'm en route

to Central City Park.

We just got a report

that the rocks
have come to life.

We're on our way.

[April]
Rocks coming to life.

Give me a break.

Hmm. Things look
pretty normal to me.

Huh? Uh-oh.

It looks like I spoke to soon.

Oh, no!

Oh, I'm glad I had
those brakes checked.

Easy, easy.

No sudden moves.

Oh, no!

Aah!

Okay, Donatello,
put her in reverse!

Thanks for saving
my life.

But do you always have
to cut it so darn close?

[Donatello]
Uh, guys.

Oh, no. The Channel 6 van.

Forget it, April.
Let's get out of here.

What the heck is making
those rocks come alive?

Gee, boss,
where's everybody going?

They must have gone to help

with the emergency
Tragg is causing.

This is going to be
a piece of cake.

Ha ha! They've just
left a skeleton crew.

Intruders! Stop them!

Bebop! Rocksteady!

Deal with those guards.

I'll take the launch controls.

All right, you two.
Halt!

You didn't say
"Mother May I?"

Oh, yeah?

We can play
that game, too.

That was fun.
What do we play now?

Well, how about
"Tie up the guards

and lock them
in the storage building"?

Ooh-ooh, that is
one of my favorites!

Well, Shredder,
what's going on?

Everything is on schedule.

It had better be.

The m*ssile
is set to blast off

in less than 20 minutes.

That remote control
device must be on.

It's the only way

we'll cut the Technodrome
free from the ice.

We're headed there now, Krang.

Meanwhile, I suggest
you...stay cool.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, I don't know how
many of these near
misses we can handle.

Look! It's General Tragg!

And that means
Shredder and Krang.

So, the turtles.

Prepare to be ground
into gravel.

Go, Green Machine!

Boy, talk about
rock hard muscles!

Aw, that was my favorite bo.

Whoa!

This will take care of
you, boulder brain.

Uh, never mind.

Foolish reptiles.

With the power
of the Rockalyzer,

anything made of stone
will obey me.

Including asphalt.

[All]
Whoa!

Do you get the feeling our city
streets are no longer safe?

Aah!

All right, I say we give this
guy some serious payback.

Brother bricks,

bury those turtles.

Are you guys all right?

Well, as all right as anyone

who's just had a building
dropped on them.

[cough]

Okay [cough] that does it.

That guy is definitely off
my Christmas card list.

Uh-oh.
The story of the year,
and I'm out of tape.

You guys mind if I
borrow the Turtle Van?

Uh, help yourself.

Looks like we'll be
stuck here a while.

I'll get more tape
at Channel 6.

Back for more, eh?

You'll be sorry.

Attention, my rock minions.

It's time to join forces.

I don't like the looks
of this one bit.

We couldn't even dent Tragg,

and this rock head
is 20 times bigger.

Destroy the turtles!

Destroy them!

It's time to fall back
and re-plan our strategy.

Quickly, my loyal soldier,

you must destroy the turtles
completely.

Seek them out
and finish them off.

The Turtle Van!

There they go now.

That rock monster
is after April.

I thinks we're
in the Turtle Van.

It's up to us to stop it.

The Turtle Van.

They're in that building.

Destroy it, my
loyal rock soldier.

[Man on TV]
That's it.

Just lie there
and think about nothingness.

Vernon! Where's Vern?

I've got the story
of the year!

Not now, April.

I'm about to reach an entirely
new level on non-involvement.

Oh, yeah?

Well, tell it to that thing!

If anyone wants me,

I'll be under my desk!

Heads up, guys.

That rock monster must
think we're inside.

We've got to distract it
before destroys the building.

Yoo-hoo!
Hey, Rocky!
Over here!

It worked.

Jump for it.

Well, Shredder,
what's the delay this time?

I'm checking on Rocksteady
and Bebop now.

They better not foul up.

Time is of the essence.

The rocket is scheduled
to blast off

in less than ten minutes.

Enemy fighter rockets
off the port bow.

Pwing! Pwing!

Ooh! Ooh!
Firing phaser beams.

Beep beep beep beep!

Beep! Beep!
Pwing! Pwing!

What are you two
imbeciles doing?

Huh? Oh.

We playing space pilot.

Yeah, and the
Zarkonians are winning.

You haven't attached the
remote control device to
the super laser, have you?

Never mind, I'll do it myself.

Face it, guys, we're never
gonna whip that granite goon.

Hey dudes, look!

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Yeah, why should that
overgrown pet rock get
to do all the demolition?

Time to wreck and roll!

Timber!

We did it.

So, you think you've won.

You haven't even come close.

Why didn't I just stay
in bed this morning?

Dudes, I'd say
our future's looking...

kinda rocky!

Turtles, there's only
one thing to do.

Turtle power!

Guys, I think we're
in serious trouble.

[beep beep]

Success, Krang. The remote
control is installed.

It's about time you
did something right.

Hurry, you two.

That rocket will blast off
in less than two minutes.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh!

It's no use, guys.
There's just too many of them.

Maybe not.

I think I see a
way to stop 'em.

A rock crushing machine.

But how do we get them
in there?

You'll see.

When I give the word,

hit the power switch.

Hey, you rock heads!

I'm over here!

That's it. Come and get me.

Now, Donatello!

No, my loyal followers!

Stay away from that belt.

Too late, pebble puss.

Yeah, now you can't control
those mineral maniacs.

Krang! Get me out of here!

Everywhere I look,
nothing but incompetence.

That's the last
of those creeps.

All right, dudes,
we won!

It's pizza time!

Not yet, Michelangelo.

You've still got another
problem to handle.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Like the new defense satellite.

It carries some
sort of super laser,

and someone wants it
real bad.

Okay, all together, g*ng.

Who do we know
who's stuck in the Arctic

and could use
an enormous laser beam

to cut his Technodrome
free from the ice?

[All]
Krang!

Looks like they've had
an unwanted visitor.

Like, where did all
the space dudes go?

[muffled]
Help! We're in here!

April, untie them.

We've got to stop
that satellite.

We're too late!

The satellite is
already in orbit.

Donatello,
see if you can disable
the super laser control.

Uh-oh. None of these
controls seem to be working.

Then Krang's already
taken over the satellite.

Maybe I can tune one of these
monitors in on the Antarctic.

All systems are go.

Now to fire the super laser.

Start the main engines.

Success!

At last, the Technodrome
rolls again.

[Michelangelo]
No! They're moving
the Technodrome!

But how
can we stop them?

We'll use Wu-Wee.

Remember what
Master Splinter said.

Evil always sinks
beneath its own weight.

Victory is ours!

Ha ha!

We'll go straight to the
city and crush it flat.

I finally got it!

Give it back!

That's my Captain Cow comic!

Yeah, says who?

It's mine now!

No, mine!

Whoa!
Whoa!

No, you fools!

Those are
the laser controls!

Hey guys, look.

Quick,
put on the brakes.

What brakes?

Then put it in reverse!

Too late!

Oh, no! Aaah!

All right, guys!
Way to go!
Woo-hoo!

It worked! Wu-Wee works!

Wow, boy!

Splinter said that evil
sinks under its own weight.

He wasn't kidding!

I don't believe it!

We go from being
stuck in the ice

to being stuck in the
bottom of the ocean.

Well, believe it.

And it's all their fault.

Uh, I think we better go clean
up our room or something.

So much for Shredder
and Krang's plan

to conquer the world.

The only thing they'll
be able to conquer now

is a school of anchovies.

Speaking of anchovies,

how about a victory
pizza, dudes?

So, Donatello,
have you at last come

to understand
the principle of Wu-Wee?

Uh, not entirely, Master.

Yeah, but after fighting
those rock monsters,

it's better than beating your
head against a stone wall.

Sorry. I couldn't
help myself.