06x01 - Janine, You've Changed

[bunniefuu]

["Ghostbusters" playing]

Ghostbusters!

[screaming]

There's something strange

In the neighborhood

[screaming]

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

[alarm blaring]

There's something weird

And it don't look good

Uh-oh!

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

[siren blaring]

[growls]

[Slimer] Luigi, jump!

[screams]

I ain't afraid of no ghost

[screaming]

I ain't afraid of no ghost

[Slimer] Ghostbusters!

Yeah!

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters!

And me! And me!

[woman talking on police radio]

[man 1] Look at that!

[man 2] I don't believe that!

Excuse me, Officer.

Could you tell me what's going on?

The Ghostbusters are in there

finishing a job.

Oh, I gotta do my shopping.

Will they be very long?

Nah, they're professionals.

Whoa!

Huh?

[clatters]

Whew!

[snickering]

[shrieks]

Get 'em!

There they go!

[crackling]

Too late, they got into the vases.

[growls]

- Huh?

- What?

[growls]

Don't let them get too close!

They'll take over anything. One, two.

- [Peter] Ready!

- [Egon] Aim!

Hit 'em!

Got it! Keep steady.

One Venkmanspecial coming up!

Ta-da!

[buzzing]

Good sh**ting, guys.

Can't stop now, though.

Gotta make sure this place is clear.

Better check withRay? Where's Ray?

He was upstairs with me, a minute ago.

Oh, the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Yep, he's still up there.

Nice entrance, pal.

[pants] It's terrible! Horrible!

It's OK, Ray, we can handle it.

[Ray] No, Peter, stay away.

It's too horrible for you.

Hey, nothing scares me.

This is Peter, remember?

I know, but Peter,

it got into some things.

Took them over.

We know, that's what these ghosts do.

I mean, they get into things,

make them real big and attack us.

So what could they get into

that's that bad?

[screams]

[Ray] c*ck!

Man, I don't even want to see this part.

[Janine sighs]

[Ecto-1 approaches]

Oh, boy, they're home!

[Janine] Hi, guys.

[Slimer] You're back!

Did you have a good time?

No, it was awful. Just awful.

Take care of this for me, OK?

I gotta go upstairs and change.

Uh, yeah, sure.

[Slimer] Oh, what's that?

Hmm, what's this? Magic wands?

Antenna.

Buick?

c*ck. [laughs]

[Janine] Argh!

Huh? Hmm.

And don't you ever do that to me again!

OK, OK, just thought you'd like to share

in the experience, that's all.

Yikes!

Ooh! Men! Can't live with them,

can't sell them for parts!

What?

Oh, pictures.

Oh, ah!

[laughs]

[exclaims]

Huh?

[giggles]

Oh, boy!

[Peter] singing muffled]

Would you throw me in the pen?

And if I said I'd leave you

Would you take me in again?

Peter! Peter!

[Peter] Later, Slimer.

I'm in the shower

Peter!

Hey!

[Peter] I said later.

[Slimer] Peter!

[Peter screams]

OK, I'll listen.

This had better be good.

Here, look.

Yeah, OK, so it's a scrapbook.

Huh? Give me that!

See, see, see, see, see!

Egon!

Yes?

[laughs nervously]

[laughs] Hmm.

OK, she's still downstairs.

I can't believe this.

It's like there's two Janines.

[Egon] Do they just look different

or are they really different?

What I want to know is how come nobody

noticed this change before?

If there's some supernatural force at work

preventing us from noticing this,

that might explain it.

But you can't fool a camera,

which is why it showed up

in the scrapbook.

Exactly! We have to be sure,

have to investigate thoroughly.

But remember,

we can't let her know we're doing it.

So I tell her, I said,

"Shirley, it is not your color."

But you know how she can be

once she makes up her mind.

- [P.K.E Meter buzzing]

- So what can you do?

Um, yes, well

There we are, working much better now.

Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.

Carry on.

Uh, yeah, I'm still here.

It's, it's nothing.

Where were we, anyway?

Oh, yeah, right, so there we were

in the middle of the store

and we were half an hour late.

As it was stillUhRay?

- Yeah?

- Something wrong?

"Wrong"? Uh, no, no. Why?

Well, you're wearing your ectoscopes.

I am? [laughs]

Well[clears throat] So I am.

I must have forgotten to take them off.

Thanks. Oof!

Monica? Yeah, I'm still here.

Listen, is there

a full moon out or something?

No, no, just go ahead.

Uh-huh. Yeah. No, you don't say! Uh-huh?

Really? You know, IHey!

OK, that's it!

I am taking the rest of the day off!

I'll talk to you later, Monica.

Hmph. Playing games.

Well, boys will beWhatever!

[Egon] OK, she's gone.

Slimer, you know what to do. Follow her!

Don't let her out of your sight.

Ay. Aye-aye and over!

Everybody else, upstairs.

OK, Egon, the laser level is set.

I've entered all the data.

Activating holographic

comparison grid now.

There, this is the old Janine.

And this is the new Janine.

You'll note,

it's not just the face that's changed.

Her voice has changed as well.

Remember how she used to talk

with that really annoying Brooklyn accent?

She's now seven and a half

centimeters taller.

And here, the bone structure

has been changed.

Even the cells have been altered.

Readings show traces

of ectoplasmic energy.

Which proves my deepest fear.

Which is?

Whatever's changed Janine, it's not human.

The question is, what's doing it and why?

- Hmm.

- [shrieks]

[gibbering]

Nope. It's not good enough.

I even wore my best outfit and

they never even noticed me.

My face is still too sharp.

My eyes are too close together.

No, no, it's not perfect.

[gasps]

Oh, Fairy Godmother!

It's an emergency!

[high pitched howling]

[chirps loudly]

[crackles]

Yes, Janine, you summoned me?

It's just not right, yet.

Can't you make me any prettier?

This is the third time this week.

Are you sure you want this to continue?

Absolutely!

I wanna be, uh, half an inch taller

and a few pounds thinner.

And how about green eyes instead of blue?

As you wish, Janine.

[gasps]

- Better?

- Oh, much better! Thanks!

I have to go now, dear.

If you need anything else,

you know how to call me.

[sighs]

Oh, boy. Gotta get back and tell the guys.

- [lightning cracks]

- Yikes!

[screams]

Didn't anyone ever tell you

it's not nice to spy on people?

No!

Then let me be the first.

[snarling]

[screams] Doggies!

[screams]

After him, my little ones!

Find him and destroy him!

[screams]

[screams]

[snarling]

[screams]

Oh, boy, stay!

[people exclaim]

[throaty snarl]

[panicking]

[screams]

[Ray] I don't like it.

Slimer should have been back by now.

Ray, all he had to do was follow Janine.

I mean, how much trouble

could he get into?

And I just got in a terrific new recording

of Beethoven's Fifth.

- It's downstairs.

- [Slimer] Guys!

Help!

Look out!

I should have known!

Hey, you leave him alone!

Heads up!

Quick, the trap!

I'm on it!

[buzzes]

Come on! Come on, slow down for a second.

Give a guy a break!

- [howls]

- [Egon] It's no good.

He's too fast.

I got it. Winston, throw a trap.

When I say, go.

[whistles] Here, boy. Yo!

Fetch! Go get it.

Now, Winston!

[Ray] Good thinking, [Peter]!

- Hey, no problem I

- [Egon] Just a second.

Where's my record?

It was sitting right here a moment ago.

I take it you've all read Slimer's report.

Yeah, and the copy machine

is never gonna be the same again. Yuck!

Yuck! What I wanna know is,

are we really supposed to believe

that a fairy godmother

has been changing Janine?

Not at all.

I think what Slimer saw was a creature

pretending to be a fairy godmother.

One of these. The Latin name for it is

Makeoveris Lotsabucks.

It feeds on a person's need to look good.

It makes you so perfect

that you aren't even human anymore.

Then it's got you.

Legend says these things live near water.

That's their strength.

Guess this one wandered a little inland.

[Peter] So all we have to do

is find this thing

and get rid of it before

it can absorb Janine, right?

Only in part. Egon?

We don't know why

Janine has been going along with this.

It's possible that it may

turn her against us.

It's even possible that we're

already too late.

[Winston] If those hounds show

it's already on to us,

then I say we move now.

We can't afford to wait until morning.

I agree.

Then let's move!

[Makeoveris] Janine! Janine!

Who is it? Who's there?

It's me.

You have to get out of here, Janine.

- Now! Quickly.

- But why?

Your friends have turned against you.

They think you're not good enough,

not pretty enough.

- EvenEven Egon?

- Especially Egon.

He's leading them here right now.

You must get out quickly!

[Peter] Say, Egon, you know,

I just had a thought.

- You had a thought?

- Yes.

Have a cookie.

Why?

It's how they train seals, Peter.

Unfortunately, I'm out of fish.

Pay no attention. So what's your thought?

Well, what if we don't

get to Janine in time?

And she isn't Janine anymore?

Can we change her back?

I don'tI don't think so.

Funny. Janine's been so close to us,

almost like family.

I guess you never know

how much someone means to you

until you might lose them.

[pants] Which way?

[Makeoveris] This way, follow my voice.

- Nothing?

- Not a trace.

She must have split

right before we got here.

I've set these P.K.E Meters

to pick up the thing's energy field.

I suggest we split up to save time.

OK, let's get to it.

[P.K.E meters buzzing]

[cat mews]

Oh, what's that?

They're closing in.

Hurry! You have to hurry!

But, I don't understand.

I feel so confused.

They're my friends, they

No, they're not your friends!

They're all against you.

They're jealous of you.

I'm your only friend, trust me.

Don't let them stop you.

You know what to do if they try,

don't you?

Yes, II think so, but, uh

No, no time for that.

Come, now or never.

[Peter] Janine! Janine!

Hey, you! Do you know what time it is?

Yeah, it's 4:37 a.m.

And you should really be in bed by now.

Janine!

- [thud]

- Yow!

[Egon] Janine!

Nothing. Nuts!

If I were a Makeoveris Lotsabucks,

where would I go?

Legend says these things

live near water, that's their strength.

I guess this one wandered a little inland.

That's it! Hang on, Janine, I'm coming!

[lightning cracks]

WhyWhy did we come here?

This is where I came from.

People look in the water

to see how good they look.

When they're looking down, I'm looking up.

So vain, soBut that can wait.

Now we must finish with you,

Janine, my dear.

What do you want?

I want

I want to be with my friends.

No, that's not it!

Not down in your heart.

What do you want, Janine?

More than anything else in the world?

ToTo be pretty.

You think you're homely, don't you?

Yes.

Never good enough, not pretty enough?

And you want to be perfect, don't you?

Yes!

Just like me, right?

Yes. Just like you.

Then, say it.

- I want

- [Egon] No!

- Leave her alone.

- Egon!

Get away from her, Janine, quickly!

There you see, he's against you!

He wants to stop you

from being all you can be!

He is your enemy!

No!

Yes!

Yes.

Now, show him!

Janine, you've got to listen to me.

No, it's your fault! All of it!

[Jeez]

I did it for you!

I wanted to be prettier,

so you'd notice me.

And you never did!

Just like all the rest.

How much more do you want?

Is this good enough for you?

- Janine!

- How about now?

How much more do you want from me?

You're all alike! Argh!

[screams]

Ooh!

Ever since I was a little girl,

they made fun of me.

Said I wasn't pretty enough.

No more! I want to be better. Better!

I want to be perfect!

You are perfect, my dear!

There is one thing left to do.

Destroy him!

Janine, listen to me.

I've been trying to tell you.

It doesn't matter what you look like.

ThatThat thing has taken you over.

I'm here because I'm worried about you,

because I care, Janine.

Not because of how you look,

but because of who you are!

How can I get through to you?

[Makeoveris] You can't!

You've lost her. She's mine, now.

No, there is a way.

You want to destroy me, Janine,

I won't try to stop you.

But remember this.

I love you.

[Peter], Winston, Ray,

all of us, we love you.

No matter what.

Egon?

Do it! Do it! Destroy him!

Be one with me! Destroy him!

Look at her, Janine!

She said she'd make you perfect,

but she's made you just like herself, see?

Destroy him!

Now!

II love you too, Egon.

And you

[Makeoveris shrieks]

You dare!

Stop! I order you to stop!

I'll turn you into something uglier

than you were before.

Three feet tall and twisted.

Would you like that? Would you?

Take your best shot.

I'm not afraid of you anymore!

[shrieks]

[screams]

[Peter] Hit 'em.

[shrieks]

Don't let up.

Hurry, she's breaking free!

Fools! I will destroy you,

I will destroy all of you!

Not this time. Go, Ray!

No! I was so close.

No! [shrieks]

[Janine] No! Stand back!

Stand back!

[crackles]

What's happening?

She's changing again.

Into what?

I don't know.

Janine?

I decided that I don't have to be perfect.

I don't have to be something that I'm not.

It's OK to like myself just as I am.

Thanks, Egon. All of you guys.

Anytime.

Listen, we better get back to the car,

before somebody strips it.

You guys go on ahead,

I'll catch up in a minute.

[sighs]

- Cold?

- A little.

[clears throat]

So, would you maybe like to

go see a movie sometime?

I mean, with me?

I think that would be very nice, Egon.

Thank you.

How do you feel about science films?

Life of a Bug, Molecules and You.

This could be fun.

[theme music playing]