07x13 - Yodel Recall

[bunniefuu]

Morning, campers.

Today is picture day,

so some of you may want to
tidy up your look a bit.

I'm talking to you,
hog cabin.

I'm gonna be leaving
Parker in charge of

rounding everybody up
for their photos.

That's right.
And under Parker Preston,

your pictures
will be perfection.

There'll be nary
a misplaced hair,

or unsightly
bat in the cave.

Can I get an amen
and a "what what"?

You were doing fine.

Also, we're going
to be hosting

the National Cowboy
Yodeling Competition.

It's a big event
where contestants
from around the country

come to be judged
on who has the best
cowboy yodel.

Then, why are
we hosting it here?

I really wanted to host
a monster truck rally,

but I accidentally clicked
the wrong button.

Mama needs a phone
with a bigger screen.

Wow. I didn't know
Cowboys yodeled.

I thought that was just
something people did

from the top of a mountain
when they needed a cough drop.

Actually, back in the day,

cowboys yodeled to call
the cattle home on the range,

but it's kind of
a dying art form,

since now, every cow
has a cell phone.

How do you know so much
about yodeling anyway?

I actually used to compete
in the yodeling circuit
myself.

I'm not gonna lie,
I was a pretty big deal

in the world of warbling.

Wow. So, are you gonna
enter the competition?

Me? No, no, I can't,
because I lost my voice.

But you're talking
to me right now.

Am I?

[COUGHS]

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Great photo, Jamie.
Great photo.

Now let's just try one

without your finger
up your nose.

Just so we have options.

Hey, Parker.
What's up?

I think
the better question is,

what's on?

This old thing?

What can I say?
I'm becoming a man.

Jake, you look like
a Swedish deejay

that just played Ibiza.

Okay, okay, okay.

The truth is, I'm using it
to cover up a zit on my face.

It's so big, it's gonna
ruin my picture.

Come on!

It can't be that bad.

Oh!

Okay. Okay.

It's just a zit.

It'll go away with time.

I'm sure in
the next few days, it'll...

you know, collapsed under
the weight of its own gravity.

But picture day is today,
and pictures are forever.

Do you know
how long forever is?

It's like over 100 years.

It's not
technically wrong.

I'll allow it.

Growing up is the worst.

I miss when
I was smooth-faced

and could
still ask for uppies.

Jake!

Jamie, finger in the ear,
not better.

Hey, Noah.
What's going on?

I'm really craving
some vegetarian food.

Today's menu
at camp just says,

"Meat stuff.
Deal with it."

Do the water glasses
around here fill themselves,

or is that something
you eventually do?

Sorry, ma'am.
I'll get your refill.

Is there anything else
you need?

How about some new soup?
This is cold.

It's like drinking a big bowl
of hot soup that's cold.

Well, it's gazpacho.

It's supposed to be cold.
Probably Europe.

Get out of
your bubble.

I don't appreciate
your attitude.

How's this
for attitude?

You're banned.

I'm gonna give you
the worst review
on Tush Advisor.

This will be
the first time

I rate below
one and a half cheeks.

Can you believe that?

I know.
Even the used coffin store
has a two-cheek rating.

That woman
was so rude.

Just like the dozens
of other customers

I've had to
kick out of here.

Destiny. You can't
just banish

every person that
gives you a hard time.

You have more diners
on your banned board

than you do
in your restaurant.

I hear what
you're saying.

I need to get
a bigger banned board.

You know, you need
to learn how to tolerate
difficult customers.

And the good news is,
I can help you.

With that thing?
With that thing.

Hey. Why were you
being so weird about
the yodeling competition?

Yodeling is
already weird.

It's a hat
on a hat.

Look, I'm not entering
the competition,
and that's final.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't
Bill Pickett,

disgraced former
yodeling champion,

my old nemesis
and all-around loser.

Who are you?

And do you always
enter with so much
helpful backstory?

Yes. And here's
some more.

I'm Dale,
the current champion
and bad boy of yodeling.

Yo...

dee-lay-hee-hoo.

Dale? What are
you doing here?

I'm here to win
the contest.

It's a shame
you quit competing.

Was it because you heard
I could hit a high C?

Mariah called.

She wants her
whistle tones back.

You leave the Queen
of Christmas out of this!

Wait. You quit?

That's right.
I hung up my epiglottis
a long time ago.

That was a metaphor.
My throat's still intact.

Fine, then my
backing musician and I

will just have to
win another trophy

to rub in the face
of Bill the Trill.

Bill the Trill?

Trilling is a quavering
type sound

that comes
from your throat
when you yodel.

Also, Bill the Thrill
was taken.

Now, if you'll
excuse me,

I need to go
warm up my warbler

to impress the ladies.

And by ladies,

I mean cows.

See you around,
you udder failure.

That's udder,
spelled U-D-D...

We get ranch jokes, Dale.

It's kind of our thing.

What a meanie.

Bill, you have to
enter the competition

to teach that kid
a lesson.

I can back you up
on guitar.

No. Or as they say in
the yodeling community,

No-dell-a-hee-hoo.

Fine. Then I'm
gonna enter myself.

Wait, you?

Yeah.

I can make weird noises
with my throat, too.

It's the reason
I'm not allowed
in my town's library.

That's the reason?

Fine, and I also had
tuna in a dictionary.

Jake,

I think I can help you
with your pimple.

Lou has both the talent
and the makeup

to hide your zit
before it's picture time.

Yep, I've put lipstick
on a lot of pigs,
literally.

Because when you look good,
you feel good.

And when you feel good,
you taste good.

Anyway, let's see what
we're working with here.

Holy inflammation!

I'm a woman
with a makeup sponge,
not Harry Houdini.

Luke, quit referencing
your weird adult friends
and help me!

Okay.

That's a little...

three-dimensional
for makeup.

I'm not gonna be
able to hide it, but...

I may be able to
distract from it.

See, Jake? I knew Lou
would have the answer.

This was not
the answer.

Sure it is. The Mohawk
will make people forget
all about his pimple.

Are you sure?

It's kind of like an arrow
pointing right to it.

Plus, I look
like my c*ck
when he's excited.

Did you use
bacon grease?

What do you think
happens to pigs

once they're not
cute enough to win
contests anymore, hmm?

Now, I'm going to
play a rude customer,
and you try to handle me.

Excuse me while I
inhabit my character.

Bara-ga bara-ga!
Bara-gi bara-gi!
Bara-gu bara-gu!

There's no
stopping this,
is there?

[EXCLAIMS]

Yeah, that feels right.

Hello, sir. Can I
get you anything else?

Everything looks so good.

I haven't been this torn
since I had to choose between

saving the president's life,
or redirecting that asteroid.

That's it. I'll have
the quinoa salad.

Excellent choice, Mr. Spy,
and/or heroic undertaker.

But instead of quinoa,
can I get tortilla chips

and instead of chickpeas,
some ground beef,

and instead of parsley,
melted cheese.

So you want a plate
of meat nachos

from a vegetarian
restaurant?

You're asking
a lot of questions.
Who do you work for?

And can I also get
a side of jalapenos?

You're banned!

Hi, ma'am.
Have you had
a chance to decide?

Apologies there.

I've been
a little distracted.

The print
on these menus
is so small, yet

the water stains
on my fork are so big.

Sorry. I'll replace
that right away.

Maybe when you return,
you can give me
some new tea.

This cup is weaker than
my first husband's
backgammon game.

You haven't put
the teabag in it.

That's just hot water.

I'm sorry.

Did someone just
snip at me?

Oh, yes, it's a little girl
who can't run a restaurant.

You're banned!

Welcome to the Dusty Diner.
Can I...

Hang tight, food girl.

Just need un momento
to close a deal

worth more than you'll
ever make in a lifetime.

[LAUGHS]

Go for Chad.

You're banned, Chad.

Yeah, that's fair.

[YODELING]

[YODELING]

Winnie... Why?

Isn't it obvious?

I'm the new bad girl
of yodeling.

No. You're just a girl
who's bad at yodeling.

What's up, losers?

I'm back to
remind you all

of how I'm going
to win at yodeling,

because Bill quit.

Again, who is this
exposition for?

As it turns out,
I'm entering
the yodeling contest

and I'm gonna
mop the floor with you.

[YODELING]

Oh, boy!

This is gonna be
the easiest contest
I've ever won.

Bill the Trill,
you sure you don't want
to change your mind?

Put your...
[YODELING]

where your mouth is?

I already
told you, Dale.

My days of
melodically switching

from a low register
to a falsetto
are behind me.

Have it your way.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to go sign

some autographs
for my fans.

And by fans, again,
I mean cows.

Man, I really
don't like that guy
for many reasons.

But, honestly,
who pairs a leather jacket
with a bow tie?

If only there was
an experienced yodeler

here at camp that could
take him down a peg.

I know what you're
trying to do, Winnie.

Fart quietly?

Okay. Maybe not.

Great news, Jake.

Inside this box
is the solution
to all your problems.

A sense of self-confidence
that's not tied to my
physical appearance?

Better. Snails.

Fine. At this point,
I'll try anything.

Except washing my face.

I don't have time for that.

You've got to be
kidding me.

I'm afraid to ask this,
but can I take your order?

Okay. You're hungry.

For what?

Chopping. You want
something chopped?

Chopped salad,
chop suey?

Please, do anything else!

Noah, I give up.
Just tell me what you want.

The veggie chili! Duh-doy!

This is ridiculous.

I will never serve
a mime at this diner.

Wait. Come back!
I didn't even
see you guys there.

You people are
always so quiet!

Don't worry.
I'll get them back.

Oh! These guys
are heavy.

Just drop it, Noah.
I'm hopeless.

But I workshopped


Don't you want to see toddler
learning to use fork?

[IMITATES BABY CRYING]

[BABBLES]

Winnie, you wanted
to see me?

Ja!

Winnie, what are
you wearing?

If I'm gonna enter
a yodeling competition,

I have to blend in
with the other yodelers.

Ja. [YODELS] Ja.

Winnie, this is
a cowboy yodeling contest.

We dress like we're
from the wild west,

not the box
your hot chocolate comes in.

You're right. I'm gonna
embarrass myself

and the ancient sport
of yodeling.

I guess you're
just gonna have to
mop the floor with Dale

while I play
hot backup guitar.

[SIGHS]
Sigh.

Winnie, we both know you never
planned to enter the contest.

You've just been
bad yodeling all day
to make me enter.

Because you're
a champion

with the chance to defeat
your jerky arch rival.

Why wouldn't you do it?
Because I don't have any
confidence anymore, okay?

What are you
talking about?

I used to win every
yodeling contest
I entered.

One night during a bad storm,
the cows on my farm got lost.

I yodeled to
bring them home,
but they never came.

They were out
all night.

Really?

By the time we found them,
they were nearly frozen.

We had to put them
near the grills
to warm them up.

The cows were scared.

The air smelled
like tri-tip.

It was a very
traumatic night.

Bill, that's not
your fault.

Of course it is.

When it came down to
using my yodeling
as a real cowboy,

I couldn't get
the job done.

After that night, I swore,
I'd never yodel again.

Face it.
I'm all hat. No cattle.

Noah can always solve
a problem with a costume.

Why can't I?

Hey, Destiny,
I'm sorry about today.

It's okay.
I appreciate you
trying to help,

but I don't think
I'm cut out to deal
with rude customers.

I just want to sit here
and enjoy my ice cream.

Yeah, that feels right.

Oh, heaven help
those sweet idiots.
Here it comes.

Guys, you know
the rules.

Food inside,
dodgeball outside.

Count me in
for next game?

Wow.

You were really patient
with those campers.

Of course,
they're kids.

You're always
patient with kids,

especially Winnie
and Scout.

Yeah. So what?

Destiny, you need to
treat your diners

the way you treat
your campers.

If someone gets
on your nerves,

just imagine Winnie
or Scout's sweet faces.

I can totally
do that,

and then we can stop doing
those ridiculous scenarios.

I think you mean
highly realistic

and enlightening
scenarios.

One of your characters
was Martian

who's never seen
a bull before.

You need to be
prepared for anything.

Hey, Shaquille O'Veal.

Howdy, Bill.

[SCREAMS]

Why are you
talking to me?

Because we're friends.
Also, you're dreaming.

Okay. That makes
more sense.

I bet I'm having this dream
because I've been thinking

about why I
gave up yodeling.

Either that, or it was
the bad Tush tots I ate.

Can't it be both?

Bill, you need to let
your mistakes go.

I can't.

Failing as a yodeler
makes me feel like
I'm not a real cowboy.

Did you stop looking
for the cows that night

when they didn't
come home?

No.

Exactly.

Because real cowboys
don't give up

when they're confronted
with a challenge.

You didn't then,
and you shouldn't now.

Seriously,
mooove on!

You're saying I should enter
the yodeling competition?

All I'm saying

is that someone needs to
teach that Dale kid a lesson.

He really ruffles
my udders.

WINNIE: Bill!

This power nap's been
a real roller coaster.

I came to apologize.

Yeah. Yeah.
All is forgiven.

We have to hurry,
so I can go win
the contest.

Wait, really?
What finally changed
your mind?

A talking cow.

Oh, he must have
had the Tush tots.

Can you make sure
none of the snails
poop on me?

I'll try,
but I gotta say...
[LAUGHS]

it can't be any grosser
than what I'm
seeing right now.

[TIMER DINGS]
Ooh!

Time's up.

Let's see
how baby-smooth
your skin is

after that treatment.

Okay. Perfect.

[SCREAMS]

They made it so angry!

My chin grew
another chin.

Are you telling me
the snails didn't work?

I'm just as confused
as you are.

Should we try having
them poop on me?

I could be brave.

Look, Jake, the pimple
just means you're growing up,

like getting
into audiobooks,

or filling one grocery bag
with hundreds of other
grocery bags. You know?

I don't know,
but continue.

I tried to help you
get rid of the zit today

because you
asked me to.

But the truth is,
everyone gets pimples.

You shouldn't
be ashamed.

It doesn't feel like
everyone gets pimples.

It feels like
it's just me.

There are a lot of
snails missing.

Destiny.
You have a customer.

[BLOWING]

She came back
after I you're-banned her?

What is the point
of a catchphrase

if people don't
abide by it?

I invited her back
so you can try out
your new approach.

If you can handle Carol,
you can handle anyone.

Her online review
of the lake was "Hard pass.
Cluttered with water."

I'm going in.

Welcome back
to the Dusty Diner.

Can I take
your order?

I don't know.
Can you?

Coming in hot,
huh, Carol?

Would you prefer
I come in cold,

like your soup?

That's right.

I got callbacks.

You know what, Carol? You're...

Remember.
She's just
another camper.

[SIGHS]

Well, are you gonna
stand there all day
like a fool,

or are you gonna
take my order?

Hello, Earth to blondie.

What I was going to say,
is you better have
come here hungry.

What can I get you?

I want the corn chowder
with the corn on the side.

What a fun way to
order that, Carol.

Also a slice of
veggie pizza.

But I'm lactose intolerant,
and tomatoes give me gas.

So no cheese or sauce
and hold the veggies.

One slice of crust
coming right up.

Oh, and do the water glasses
around here fill themselves...

Was there
anything else?

No.

That'll be it.

Thank you.

Destiny.
You did it.

I know.
I just imagined
she was Winnie,

and suddenly,
I was just grateful

she wasn't torturing
a librarian.

I'm so proud of you.

And, remember,
the customer's always right.

Hey, you with the glasses.

You look familiar.

Weren't you in that play
at the barbecue restaurant?

Oh, yes.

A Meatcar Named Desire.

I'm so glad
you enjoyed it.

"Enjoyed it"?

That was some of the worst
meat-based theater
I've ever seen.

You're banned!

[GASPS]

Some customers
were just meant to be
on the banned board.

Thank you,
Dale, for that

performance of
Yodel-lay-hee-who
Let the Dogs Out?

My ears have
never been
more confused.

Bad boy!

Okay.

That was our
last contestant.

Still not as fun
as monster trucks,

but I just had to
have a phone that
fit in my pocket, huh?

Oh, the scores are in

and Dale received
a 9 for warblin',

a 9.5 for trillin'
and a 10 for quaverin'.

What is this sport?

Wait. You have
one more contestant.

Ah! Bill the Trill.

I see you finally decided
to abide by the yode code.

You're going down
like a D crescendo

into a low-pitched
chest register.

Strong words.

Are they?

Go for it.

♪ Down in the valley
On the pinks of the Tush ♪

♪ Birds in the sky
and deer in the bush ♪

♪ There's a cowboy that sings
and can never be shushed
to go... ♪

[YODELING]

♪ Out on the range
perched high on his saddle ♪

♪ The cowboy yodels
to round up his cattle ♪

♪ His voice echoes around
a thunderous rattle ♪

[YODELING]

It looks like we have a tie,
which means, and...

I can't believe
I'm reading this right.
[LAUGHS]

Sudden yodel death.

[ALL GASP]

Ooh! What's that?

It's a yodel off.

Dale and I will each yodel
to call a cow over.

Whoever the cow
goes to, wins.

Gentlemen, this is
your cow judge and...

this is my life now.

Ready, set, yodel.

[YODELING]

[MOOS]

[YODELING]

[MOOING]

[YODELING]

[YODELING]

[YODELING]

[YODELING]

MISS O'VEAL: Bill!

Remember moo you are.

[YODELING]

[COW MOOING]

[HITS HIGH NOTE]

[MOOING]

Bill the Trill is the winner
of the first and only

yodeling competition
I will ever host.

So proud of that kid.

Me moo.

Oh, right.

I ate the Tush tots, too.

Jake, come on out.

The photographer
is working overtime

and he refuses to take
meat stuff as payment.

JAKE: Everyone's gonna
make fun of my zit.

Maybe I should just
try popping it.

No, Jake, I clean
the mirrors.

Come on, buddy.

There's something out here
I want you to see.

JAKE: Is it a dragon?

Why would it be a...
Just get out here!

ALL: Surprise!

You guys all have
pimples, too.

Turns out the solution
was in my makeup box,
after all.

And now we're all
ready for our photo.

Really?

You guys are all willing
to take your pictures,
looking like me?

Of course. Now you won't
have to go through it alone.

Thanks, guys.

Now there's no way I'll be
embarrassed out there.

That's where
the snails went.

Should we tell him?

After pictures?

After pictures.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]