02x02 - Station Identification

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ If there's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood? ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[Peter] Three weeks and not a single job.

What we need is a little diversion.

Aha!

Now you're talkin'.

I majored in ping pong in college.

Mm, it was the only subject
he didn't have to cheat in to pass.

Prepare to taste defeat.

[snoring]

Mmm? Oh.

[gulps]

[exclaims]

[chomps]

[burps]

Looks like the only one
tasting anything is Slimer.

Mucho thanks, you worthless gob of goo.

That's not a marshmallow, mush-for-brains.

It's a ping pong ball.
Got it?

[mumbling]

[Peter] Too late.

Go ahead, ruin the game.
Ruin my life!

You're no good to anyone!

[sniffles]

[mumbling]

You were pretty hard
on the little spud, weren't you, Peter?

Hey, what's he ever done for me?

You can kiss the blahs goodbye, guys.

Brought us a safe full of cash, Janine?

Not on your life.

I had no idea they built TVs
in the Stone Age.

I won it on a TV show when I was a kid.

It's been in storage for years.

I don't even know if it still works.

One way to find out.

[Peter] Hey.

Hey, it's Leave it to Woodchuck.

I've seen all of those a million times.

Hey, hey, Howie,

how come all the time
I get into hot water?

Is it because I'm a kid?

Ah, gee, no, Woodchuck.

It's 'cause you're a loser.

That's funny...I thought those were all
in black and white.

You think that's funny,
it's a black and white set.

[static crackling]

[grunts]

Great, only now we've got a ghost!

Don't knock it,
it's the first one we've seen in weeks.

And maybe the last.

[grunting]

[Peter] Oh, good,
I always wanted a door there.

[growls]

What now?

It's a ghost, we bust it.

[Winston] Or maybe it bust us.

I can't believe it!
We're gonna be k*lled by a rerun!

Quick! Call an orthodontist!

We got all we need right here!

[roaring]

Oh, my gosh!

We forgot about the TV!

Glorp. It'll keep you smiling.

What show'd you win that on, Janine,
The Outer Limits?

How intriguing.

We were receiving channel one.

It's impossible, there is no channel one.

Who cares, the show's over.

-[phone rings]
-[Janine] Ghostbusters.

On a TV, you say?

Spooks coming right out of the screen?

Just keep calm.

-[siren blaring]
-[Slimer mumbling]

Ghost germs.

[people clamoring]

This is major weird.

[clamoring continues]

Stay put.
You just slime up the works.

[groans]

[Winston]
Everyone, get clear!

I say this calls for a six pack.

[ghosts roaring]

[Male announcer] Eat at Bobo's!
The food ain't bad,

and we got the biggest TV
west of the Hudson!

-Tell me I didn't hear that.
-Come on!

Don't turn on that set!

What are you talk,
I'm open for business.

[Male announcer]
On the Planet Paternialives power guy,

king, hero, and snappy dresser.

Hey, this is a terrific cartoon.

It's based on a great toy.

A toy is the star of the show?

Could be worse, Peter.
How much damage can a toy do?

[growls]

Whoa!

Off hand, I'd say plenty.

[roars]

He doesn't look so tough to me.

When's the last time
you had your prescription checked, Egon?

Break!

[monster] Smash!

Destroy!
[laughs]

You got to admit, the guy likes his work.

Which is more than you can say for us.

Hold it right there, big guy.

Why don't they ever listen?

We've got trouble!

You just figured that out?

Hang on to whatever's bolted down!

I hate this show!

Everyone's a critic!

Yike!

Uh-oh.

Can't reach him.

Help!

Help!

Huh?

[mumbling]

[Slimer yells]

[gasps]
Egon!

Whoa!

[roars]

[both grunt]

[Slimer screamng]

Slimer!

Poor Slimer.

He slimed you good and proper, Peter.

[both grunting]

[Peter] Ouch!

I would've been ghost goulash
if not for him.

Well, this is a promise from Dr. Venkman.

We're gonna find our little green pal,

save him, no matter what it takes.

And cancel some shows.

[Egon] The PKE trail is very, very strong.

All the ghosts in town
must've gotten together

to form this pirate TV station.

Which explains why
they've been so quiet lately.

But why TVs, Egon?

They're using it as a doorway,

going anywhere there's a TV set.

Which is anywhere in the city.

Huh, talk about a c*ptive audience.

[Winston]
Central Park, dead ahead.

[tires screeching]

[Ray] Looks like we go on foot from here.

On foot, on camel, on dog sled.

For Slimer, Peter Venkman goes anywhere.

[PKE meter beeping]

Hmm...

You care to put that into words, Egon?

We're getting a tremendous power surge

from the center of the park.

[rumbling]

Nah, Slimer wouldn't be in there.

[Male announcer over speaker]
Hey, hey, new york.

W-B-O-O, the Big Boo, is on the air.

This is the Unreal's Big Squeal,

clueing you in
that everyone's favorite new show

is goin' big time.

At midnight tonight, we go national!

[maniacal laughter]

If that happens, people will get ghosts
on every TV in the country.

It'll be even worse
than what they're getting now!

[squeaking]

According to these readings,
Slimer's a hundred yards straight ahead.

Right. Then I guess we do
the hundred-yard dash.

[Jaws close]

Did you say straight, Egon?

I wish we could turn on some lights. Huh?

Ah, thanks.

Welcome, studio guests,
or soon-to-be ghosts.

[maniacal laughter]

Bad move, Ray.

-[all screaming]
-[laughing continues]

Whoa!

Ray? Pete?

Egon?

[Male Announcer]
Star patrol!

[man] Captain, beamin' down, sir.

[gasps]

What?

Transporter's never done this before.

Diagnosis?

We're dead, Jim.

Recommendation, Mr. Spook.

Logic would seem to dictate we...

Scream!

[all screaming]

Fellas?

[Male Announcer] And now it's Gumbo,
America's clay hero.

Oh, no!

Yo, I'm lookin' for an orange horse.

First one I see, you get it.

No, bro, you get it.

-[all grunt]
-[c*ck g*n]

Don't sh**t.

Phew, that was nearly
the end of the series.

[Winston]
We're getting nowhere.

[Egon]
Let's use our heads.

[Peter] Sure, it's worked great so far.

[sniffs]

Or better yet, use our noses.

Why, that's food.

Right on.
And where there's food, there's...

Slimer!

[Male Announcer]
Frosty cake!

Rots your teeth, but who cares!

Oh, yeah.
[mumbles]

Yummy!

Huh?
[mumbles]

What?

[Male Announcer]
One taco, comin' right up!

[panting]

How'd you like to wrap your gums

around a nice, juicy...

Ugh!

I owe you one, Slimer.

[Slimer screams]

Oh, Peter!

[kissing]

Ugh. Don't make me sorry I did that.

What's our next move, Egon?

It's almost midnight.

We've got to find the station's
power source and disconnect it.

[rapid beeping]

Unfortunately, there's so much
free floating spectral energy,

I can't get a fix on it.

Aha!

Hey!

[Slimer whistles]

Look, a power cord!

Way to go, Slimer.
We can trace it back to the source.

Just what do you expect to find
at the end of the cord, Egon?

My first guess would be

a terminus of such unimaginable
densely packed evil energy

that it could fry a psychic researcher
without blinking.

[Peter] What's your second guess?

Hey, over here!

Come on, come on,
come on, you guys!

Hey, we can't do it your way, buddy.

So we'll do it ours.

[Ray] There's the dynamo!

[Peter] Time to stage one
homemade power failure.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

This is TV, remember?

So before the big action,

we take a brief time out
for a station break,

only I'm not saying
just who it's gonna break.

[maniacal laughter]

[Winston] That's one guy
who's really attached to his possessions.

[Peter] You buy all that stuff
or get it on credit?

Die now, pay later!

[all screaming]

You know, I've just about had it with you.

[roars]

I think you irked him, Ray.

[mumbling]

[Winston] Slimer, no!

[Slimer screams]

[Ray] Nice try, Slimer.

Huh?

[clock chiming]

Does that mean the round's over?

It means every thing's over.

Time to go national.

It's now or never.

[laughing]

Guess it's never.

Don't aim for him.
Aim for the dynamo.

No!

Pour it on.

[laughter]

We could make a deal.

Twenty percent off?

F-Fifty?

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

No sale.

Ah. Everything I ever wanted
and we had to waste it.

If we don't get out of here,
it's gonna waste us.

Yes! All right!

[Winston] W-B-O-O,
the Big Boo, is off the air.

[Ray] Well, things are back to usual.

Yeah...

[mumbling]

Like you said, back to usual.

[theme music playing]