02x13 - A Fright at the Opera

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something strange ♪

[phone rings]

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm blaring]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[roaring]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[orchestra instruments tuning within]

[chattering]

I really think you're going to enjoy this.

The Met. I thought you said the Mets.

Peter, it's Ride of the Valkyries.

You'll love it. Trust me.

[orchestra playing Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]

[singing opera]

[snoring]

[all] Bravo!

Auntie Em?

[all] Bravo!

That's the Diva.

She's the greatest soprano in the world.

[all] Bravo!

[yawns]

I'd give anything to meet her.

How do you like the opera?

Hard to say.

So far it's just been a lot of singing.

[Orchestra playing Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]

Can I get some peanuts around here?

[Egon] Shh.

Hey, uh, Egon.

What's a Valkyrie look like?

Shh.

I mean, it wouldn't by chance

be a supernatural fat lady
on horseback, would it?

What?

[Valkyries shrieking]

[continues shrieking]

[horse neighs]

[shrieking]

[all screaming]

Yes, those are Valkyries,
but this isn't supposed to be happening.

Now I'm starting to like it.

[all screaming]

We've got to save the Diva.

Women and divas first.

[screaming]

-[both grunt]
-[Egon] whoa!

Leopold!

[both grunt]

You're not Leopold.

Thanks. You're cute too.

Are you all right, Diva?

Yes, and no thanks to either of you.

[all shrieking]

[Egon] It looks as if they've gone.

If it weren't for you,
I'd just be a legend now.

Perhaps later I can find words
to express my gratitude.

Will you fly to my side tomorrow?

I'll have to check my calendar.

I was about to save you myself.

Thanks.

OK, let's talk turkey here.

You people have a serious ghost problem.

What's it worth to you to get rid of them?

I mean, how much does this place
clear in one night, anyway?

This is the opera, Peter.

You can't put a price tag on art.

It's an honor to serve art.

On behalf of the Ghostbusters,

I'd like to volunteer
our services free of charge.

What?

[stuttering] Free?

I can't even say it.

Done.

Ghostbusters, huh?

All right, be here
first thing in the morning.

Who are you?

My name's Metzenbaum. I run this opera.

[Diva] Metzenbaum!

Coming, Diva.

[Peter groans]

What are we after here?
The Phantom of the Opera?

Wrong story.

This is no joke, Winston.

Valkyries can be dangerous.

They're very powerful spirits
in Norse mythology.

So, what are they doing here?

[Ray] Well, Valkyries
can be awakened by praise.

To sing about them
can sometimes summon them.

And they won't stop
until they find someone

they can drag off to Valhalla.

[Egon] Ready, guys?

[Peter] Yuck!

["Ghostbusters" playing]

[siren wailing]

It wouldn't hurt us
to dress up now and then.

I thought we were dressed up.

[Egon] Opera singers aren't like
ordinary people, you know.

[Peter] Yeah, they got louder voices.

[piano playing classical music]

[yawns]

I hate Mondays.

Forgive me, Diva.
The Ghostbusters have arrived.

Hey, Div, what's happening?

["Ghostbusters" playing]

[cheerful] My sweet!

[sinister] Not that!

[cheerful] Come to me!

[sing song] My hero!

I think she's talking to me.

I haven't been the same
since you stepped into my life.

I knew I stepped in something.

[laughing]

Metzenbaum!

I must have a bodyguard
until the Valkyries are gone.

I'd like to volunteer, Diva,

[stuttering] I'd like a chance
to hear your thoughts

on Toscanini's interpretations of Puccini.

Some other time.

I want him.

I can't explain it.
It's a burden I've learned to live with.

Whatever you say, Diva.

I suppose.

Just be sure that these Ghostbusters

don't interrupt my rehearsal.

[Peter] Or anything important, right?

They'll be careful, Leopold.

-[door slams]
-[blowing raspberry]

[tuning instruments]

[tapping]

[orchestra playing Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]

Have there been any more
sightings of the Valkyries?

Well, not since last night.

[indistinct]

Really? Huh.

Don't worry, Mr. Metzenbaum.

We'll have those Valkyries out of here

before you can say Nibelungenlied twice.

Hey, Ray, that guy over there told me
there really is a phantom.

He says he's seen him in the basement!

The Phantom of the Opera's
just a character in a movie, Winston.

But that guy over there...

Who are you going to believe?

Me, or a guy who pulls ropes?

Let's get some Valkyries, guys!

All clear, guys.

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

["Ghostbusters" playing]

I'm getting a reading at 12:00.

Way up there.

OK!

OK.

[Peter] [panting] OK...

Higher!

[orchestral end flourish]

Idiots! No! No! No!

Try it again.

[Peter] [panting] All clear. Go ahead.

[panting] I can't go any further.

[P.K.E meter whirring]

[panting] I think we're here.

I'm getting a reading just above us.

On the other side of that door.

Exciting, isn't it?

[pants] whatever you say, Ray.

Valkyries?

[Ray] Pigeons.

[P.K.E meter continues whirring]

[Ray] The P.K.E readings
are practically off the scale!

This is the first recorded
manifestation of a Valkyrie

in modern times.

I bet Peter hates missing this.

Those guys would fall apart without me.

They're so lucky to have you.

That must have been some bird.

Your vulgarity fascinates me.

It's my best feature.

[orchestra playing]

Stop it!

[crashing]

Tell Metzenbaum I need a new French horn.

Shall we try the next piece?

[playing "William Tell Overture"]

[panting] I have to think

there's an easier way to do this, Ray.

[panting]

I'm open to suggestions.

[modulating high-pitched pulses sounding]

[all shrieking]

If you've got one, now's a good time!

Let them have it!

[screaming]

[whirring]

[shrieking]

Isn't this how King Kong got started?

[guffawing]

[Ray] Whoa!

[all screaming]

[all screaming]

Don't anybody breathe.

[clanging]

[screaming and whimpering]

[Egon] Oh, boy.

-[Egon and Winston] Oh.
-[Ray] Ahhh!

[Ray] Whoa...Oh! Ahhh!

[all screaming]

[all] Whoa!

[Valkyries shrieking]

Uh-oh...

Come on, guys.
We can't hang around here all day.

[shrieking]

[all grunting]

[whirring]

I got one.

[all shrieking]

That pipe must lead to the boiler.

Let's head for the basement.

That's where the phantom lives.

I mean, according to the guy who...
pulls ropes.

No sign of the Valkyries.

No sign of the phantom either.

Maybe the Valkyries are gone.

According to tradition,
the Valkyries won't be satisfied

until they've carried a hero
off to Valhalla.

Where's that?

That's one of those places
you never come back from.

But if they're still around,
then where are they?

Did I tell you about the time
I saved the world?

[Valkyries whooping]

Did you hear something?

It's just these old pipes.

No. No, no!

Once again. And you...

Lower this time.

It's quiet.

[Winston] Yeah.

[Egon and Winston] Too quiet.

What's that?

It's just the orchestra.

Yeah. And they're playing our song.

[Valkyries screaming]

[all gasp]

[gasps]

[orchestra playing]

Lower, lower!

[all shrieking]

[gasps]

[screams]

[screams]

[all screaming]

-[whirring]
-[shrieking]

[both neighing]

They're getting away!

["Ghostbusters" playing]

[all exclaiming indistinctly]

Take five.

[orchestra tuning within]

[gasps]

Excuse me.

Have you gotten rid of the Valkyries?

It's common to encounter
unforeseen difficulties

when attempting to isolate
and contain manifestations

from a separate reality.

Does that mean no?

Give the man a cigar.

The Valkyries are still
somewhere in the opera house.

They'll attack every time
the orchestra plays

Ride of the Valkyries.

So I'm afraid you'll have
to cancel tonight's performance.

[all gasp]

Did you say "cancel"?

I didn't say anything.

In 20 years as a conductor,

I have never missed a performance.

I demand that these persons
leave this opera at once.

But, Leopold, it was the Diva

who insisted on the Ghostbusters.

Oh, I should've stayed at Radio City.

[playing operatic composition]

[singing opera along with piano]

[opera continues]

Diva!

Yes, Leopold.

Hey, I'm trying to sleep here.

I refuse to look like a fool.

Have I got news for him.

Either he goes, or I do.

Leopold!

-[door slams]
-I thought he'd never leave.

Get your feet off my divan!

And the rest of you too.

I knew this was too good to last.

[indistinct chatter]

[woman 1 and 2] Leopold. Oh, Leopold.

[chatter stops]

[orchestra plays "William Tell Overture"]

Do you think that I could
ever be interested in you?

Is that a trick question?

I was only using you
to make Leopold jealous.

Any fool but you could have seen that!

[slams]

Does this mean the fan club's off?

Yow!

Women. Who can figure 'em out?

[orchestra plays "William Tell Overture"]

Two minutes, Diva.

[Diva] [sobbing] Go away!

I tried to tell you, Peter,
artists are special people.

You have to understand them.

Art beckons.

What a trooper!

I knew what you were doing all along.

I was just trying to help out, you know.

[laughing] I was never interested in you.

I mean, I'm a national hero.

[Valkyrie] Hero?

[all shrieking]

I can get a girlfriend whenever I want.

[Valkyries continue shrieking]

Oh!

I thought you were gonna catch her.

Now, look what you've done!

Quick, guys, we've gotta seal
every exit from this building.

[shrieking]

[Peter] Whoa!

[panting] Everything's closed.

There's no way out of the building.

Good. Now all we have to do
is get Peter back.

I have an idea.

If we open one of the skylights
over the stage

and rig up a Ghost Trap,

we can trap the Valkyries as they leave.

What if the Valkyries get by the Trap?

Then Peter gets
a one-way trip to Valhalla.

[Diva singing opera]

All clear.

[packs powering up]

[Ray] Whoa!

Whoa!

[bellows escalating operatic notes]

[whirring]

[bellows higher escalating operatic notes]

[whirring]

[Valkyries shrieking]

[intense cheering and indistinct chatter]

-Bravo!
-Bravo!

-Bravo!
-Bravo!

[Valkyries shrieking]

OK, guys, let's do it.

[singing opera]

["Ghostbusters" playing]

The Trap's ready!

Open the skylight.

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[all shrieking]

Here they come!

Give them Valhalla!

[screaming]

Now!

[all shrieking]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Well, at least it worked.

[continues screaming]

[grunting]

[singing opera]

[Diva hits and holds her highest note]

[continues operatic singing]

-[opera finishes]
-[orchestral flourish]

[audience cheering and clapping]

[indistinct chatter]

Isn't she great?

[cheering and indistinct chatter]

I can't begin to thank you.

So I won't.

Well, remind me
not to buy any season tickets.

[Egon] Two great talents.

They deserve each other.

You said it.

I promise, guys,

I'll never let myself get carried away
by women again.

[all] What?

It's the Phantom of the Opera.

I told you.

[growling]

Get ready, guys.

[grumbling]

It's getting so a ghost

can't get any peace and quiet anymore.

You can keep the opera.

I'm leaving!

[theme music playing]

[shrieking]