02x23 - Hanging By a Thread

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ There's somethin' strange ♪

[phone rings]

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's somethin' weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[ghosts screaming]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ Who you gonna call?

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

This one will have an interesting life.

And this one will live a long
and full life.

Shears and thread?

They sent the mightiest legions of demons
in the underworld for shears and thread?

[gasps]

Fool!

Those shears and that thread

control the lives of every
mortal on this planet.

I was just about to add that.

Shut up!

The Three Fates are within that cave.

They use the shears and thread

to measure out the events
and length of a person's life.

If our master can obtain those objects,

he will be able to turn the world to evil!
And eliminate all who oppose him.

Terrific. Let's go for it.

[all muttering]

Attack!

The shears, get them.

You shall never have them!
From this place...

Go!

There! The shears are lost
in space and time.

Well safe from your evil hand.

Spread out.

Wherever they are,
past, present or future, find them.

And so on this glorious day,

we open this magnificent bridge
across this majestic river.

-[growling]
-[man screaming]

[all screaming]

[thunder breaking]

Drat!

I'll have to use something else.

My son, someday, this will all be yours.

The building, the dry goods,
and the finest and oldest collection

of going-out-of-business-sale signs
in New York.

I don't know, Dad.

I was hoping for a little excitement
in my life.

A little adventure.

Adventure? [exclaims]

Who are you? Indiana Lieberman?

You'll be better off with a good living.

A nice family.

[Son] Demons on the rooftops?

Demons on the rooftops.

What? Are you serious?

[Son] Yes, but I don't know about them.

I think it's time
you took over the business.

No!

[tires screeching]

[people screaming]

[glass shatters]

[screaming]

[growling]

Great Lord of the Stench,

the object we seek is down there
among the mortals.

I can smell it.

Can you? Smell closer?

OK, OK.

[sniffing]

Now...

Find it!

[Ray] What we have here

is the Standard Ghosts and Demons
Identification Test and...

Golly!

I think we can all use a brush-up.

Golly, yes, especially you
after you melted that statue, last week.

It was dark. I'll pay for it.

OK, what's this?

Protoplasmic Manifestation Type-6.

Right. This?

Recreational Zombie. Haitian variety.

[Ray] And this one?

Got it! That's a...

Wait, wait, it's on the tip of my tongue.

[Winston] A Tibetan
Tongue-Twisting Were-Wombat.

-[Peter] I knew that.
-[Ray] And this?

[Slimer mumbling]

Type R-12 Poltergeist.
In the vernacular, a Screaming Willie.

Isn't that a T17?

No, Egon is right. The T17 has tentacles.

[Slimer mumbling loudly]

Australian aboriginal
meat eating ghost cat.

Tell me I'm wrong.

[mumbling]

[telephone ringing]

Ghostbusters, good morning.

[Woman] Help, help! Everybody help me!

The demons...
They're trying to...[stammering]

-OK!
-[alarm blaring]

-Let's hit it!
-[Slimer exclaims]

-[Ray screams]
-[gasps]

Hey, what is that he's doing?

[screams]

[tires screeching]

Seventy five seconds.

Not bad.

[siren blaring]

[people screaming]

Now, there's something
you don't see every day.

I presume they want us
to do something about this.

That's why the public loves us, kid.

Let's do it!

If you say so, Ray.

You ready?

Fire!

[screaming]

[all exclaiming]

Anyone find a nice tweed in a 38 long?

Not me.

[growling]

Who are those mortals?

They're dog meat, when I catch them.

Later, we'll take care of them later.

[screams]

Retreat!

Regroup!

Let's go.

OK, everyone, they're gone.

Let's go.

-Uh-oh.
-What's up?

The section connecting
the hose came loose.

Hey, Ghostbusters, thanks.

Yeah, you guys are terrific.

Thank you, thank you.
Just a usual fantastic service.

We're done here, let's saddle up.

Hey, wait up.

[crowd cheering]

The shears were here.

But, they're gone now.

Whoever has the shears
will be in terrible danger,

until we get them back.

All of mankind will be in danger.

We must find the shears.

[Peter] Well, we polished
that one off in record time.

[Winston] Sure we did.

Whatever it is, it's still loose
and still out there.

Hey, what's that to us?

Plenty, we're the only
Ghostbusters in town.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Besides, you must admit
that a hoard of demons

invading the Garment District
is not a natural occurrence.

Right, only during
the President's Day sales.

-[tires screeching]
-[screams]

What happen, Winston?

[Winston] Look!

[all gasp]

What do we do now? Circle the wagon?

[Peter] I think, I'll sit this one out.

Really? You wanna die in here?

No way.

[growls]

Smite them!

Thanks, partner.

Don't mention it, Tex!

This is getting us nowhere.

I think we should try
the seismic ripple.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

Hey, seismic ripple, my favorite flavor.

Let's bust them.

Let's go, all right.

Who are those guys?

Never mind that!

Look! The shears.

Was it something I said.

Get those shears.

[screaming]

Where's Ray?

Over there.

One down, three to go.

This is the point,
when you're supposed to say,

"Now here is my plan."

I'll have to get you back on that.

-Who has lunch?
-We may be lunch...

Look!

[growling]

Tremble, oh, mortals,

in the presence
of the Lord of the Stench.

Why do they always make speeches?

Shh. We may learn something.

The shears are mine.

And soon they will be my master's.

And then the destiny of all mankind

will be forever controlled,
by the Lord of Evil.

[screams]

The Lord of Evil.

Yeah, but I'll bet he
can't dance to save his soul.

[Ray] Guys, more company.

We are the Fates.

The demons have the shears.

The shears must be found
and returned to us.

You mean the scissor that I...

I don't like the sound of this.

"Return to us."
You know what that means?

Scissors.

This whole thing has been
about a pair of scissors?

The Shears of Fate.

If they are lost,

evil will have eternal control
over human destiny.

Over all who live, or will live.

Since it was mortals who complicated this,

it is you mortals who must resolve this.

"You mortals," you mean us, right?

[Fates] You're mankind's only hope.

I've been called a lot of things.

We will teleport you to the underworld,
where you, will recover the shears.

You must return to the exact spot
at the right time,

in order to be teleported out,

or you will be a prisoner of the demons.

[all] Forever!

Nice.

And what time do we check out?

One hour from now.

And good luck.

[snoring]

-[Winston] So this is--
-[Peter] Swell.

People are always suggesting
that I should come here.

Let's go.

I've set the P.K.E. Meter on high gain.

If this shears are as powerful
as the Fates said,

it should pick them up.

[snoring]

[mechanical beeping]

Hey, thank goodness, you're here.

No.

Always check you meters.
Nothing here is necessarily what it seems.

[both] Right.

Wait a minute.

What's a river doing
all the way down here.

Hmm, the River Styx.

Yeah, does smell kinda terrible,
doesn't it?

[Ferryman] If you wish
to cross the River Styx,

then it is to me you must come.
For I am the ferryman.

Meet my price and I will take you
where you wish to go.

Are you kidding?

I wouldn't trust that thing
in the bathtub.

Ay, it has not the grandeur
of the fine paint of its earlier years,

but it is sufficient.

Never has it failed to do
the job required of it.

But if any of you know where I can get
an outboard motor cheap...

The shears are definitely
somewhere on the other side.

Looks like we don't have a choice.

OK, OK, we'll try the ride.

But the first one who gets sick,
has to sit in the car.

OK, Mr. Ferryman, you got a deal.

-What's the price?
-Twenty gold pieces.

Sorry, haven't got it.

Fifty silver pieces?

A vase of purest bronze, an etching,
a Captain Midnight decoder badge.

Well, then what do you have?

I got a rabbit's foot.

I've got a cheese sandwich.

Oh, done...

I accept your generous offer.

It wasn't much of a rabbit.

You haven't try the sandwich yet.

White bread.

Why is it always white bread?

You'd think no one ever heard
of wheat or rye.

Pastrami, roast beef cut lean...

Do you know how long it's been

since I've had roast beef?
No, of course not.

Why should you? That's all right.

Makes you wonder why he just doesn't
catch some food, I mean...

This river must be filled with fish.

You guys are going to be in big trouble.

I'm awfully glad I didn't
really see that, aren't you?

Utterly.

Good luck to you.

And if you could find anything
that looks like corned beef...

We'll be in touch, thanks.

-[rumbling]
-[all gasp]

Cute. How we doing?

Thirty five minutes.

[Winston] Do you have the feeling
we're being watched.

[Ray] We're getting nowhere
and we're running out of time.

[Egon] I'm not so sure,
I think we're almost there.

What?

-What do you mean?
-Through there.

I am about to change
the destinies of certain humans.

Starting with the so called Ghostbusters.

The shears.

They shall be the first to fall.

[screams]

OK, it's coming.

[all scream]

Get them.

Get them!

You know how the master,
feels about failure!

Bring them back or no more TV
in the rec room.

He sounds serious.

Let's go.

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[all screaming]

[all groaning]

[panting] How're we doing?

Minute and a half.
Lobby should be just ahead.

[growls]

-Dang.
-[Egon] Come on.

[panting]

[shrieks]

But it's...You said...How?

We're on the wrong level.

Can we get down?

No, just 12 seconds left.

I guess this is the end.

That's it then, we're finished.

It's the demons or...

Yes, it just might work.

-Let's go.
-Huh?

Will do it like this.

[screaming]

Come on.

[screaming]

[grunting]

Good old terra firma.

Yeah, the more firmer, the less terror.

-Where am I?
-[Egon] Where would you like to be?

They have the shears.

I guess all's right with the world.

You know, Egon,

what I was really impressed with was,
how you pushed us over the rail.

Oh. Why?

Because you had it all figured out,
how we'd hit the bottom.

Just as the hour ran out.

That was cutting it pretty close,
but it worked.

Thanks, Egon.

Actually, I didn't calculate.

What?

I just crossed my fingers.

Hey, he fainted.

[theme music playing]