02x32 - Egon on the Rampage

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something strange ♪

[phone ringing]

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm blaring]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[roaring]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[Raymond yawns]

[Raymond]
Slow day in the big city.

[panting]

I think I'll go run a few laps.

Pete Venkman doesn't sweat.
He shops. You coming?

Nothing better to do.

[man] You kids watching
that dumb show again?

[child] Aw, but, Dad!

[man] Watch something educational.

[clicks tongue]
what a terrible personal problem.

[man on TV] 20/40/60.

If it's news to us, it's news to you.

Welcome. I'm Eldon Bromo.
Up tonight...

An examination into hearing damage
caused by loud clothes.

And an in-depth look
at fabulously rich boring people.

But first,

Ghostbusters, rip off or scam?

Joining us live on the scene
are ace reporters

Sandy Van Sanders and Helen Shreck.

Thank you, Eldon.

Since their emergence on the scene,

the Ghostbusters have allegedly
been keeping New York safe

from everything from truculent trolls
to garrulous goblins.

But could it be
what we really need protection from,

is the Ghostbusters themselves?

Are they nothing more
than first class conmen?

Officially, we have no opinion.

But just between you,
me and 20 million viewers,

I'd say, "And how?"

-[Janine] Who is it?
-The eye of truth.

Gimme a break!

Office hours are 10:00 to 4:00.

You'll have to come back tomorrow.

Can it, sister!
I'm Helen Shreck.

Newshand Supreme.

So? I'm Janine Melnitz--
Secretary.

[all grunting]

[Sandy] Secretary.
[grunts]

Or perhaps merely an elaborate front

masking a litany
of questionable practices,

including double billing, kickbacks...

[grunting]

If you don't lay off this door,

I'll show you a kick back.

[all grunting]

[screams]

[Winston] Down, Slimer.

I tried to keep them out.

It's OK, Janine.

Take Slimer for a walk.

All right.

[speaking gibberish]

What is this, home movies?

I know you.

You're from that news show.

Elvis on UFO's.

Underwear of the Famous.

Yeah!

So far we've seen
three of these ghost grubbers.

But where is Dr. Egon Spengler?

Um...

-He's not here.
-[Egon] Ray, Winston,

come over here, will ya?

Ah ha!

What's this?

You'll have to leave.
This is top secret.

You can't keep the Press out.

Lady, I'd love to try.

Perhaps, it's time we went public
with our experiment.

You want us to stay?

This may well be a trick.

Until now we've been storing
captured entities

in onsite containment vessels
in the basement

which is both expensive and hazardous.

That's why Dr. Stantz and I
have developed the dimensionometer.

If it works,

it'll banish spirits
to another dimension permanently.

In other words, you might call it a plan
to disperse spooks

into the ozone layer.

Yeah, sure.

If you wanted to use the wrong words.

Watch and learn.

Keep that outta my face, OK?

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Being locked in a room with you
for a week.

A feeble attempt at humor,

but laughs won't cut
the tension or the mustard,

as the big machine prepares to fire up.

-Test subject ready?
-Yeah, and it's a live one.

[howling]

Hold it there.

No!

No! No!

Bon voyage!

-All right!
-[all cheering]

There you go.
We did it.

A noble aim.

But is it merely a show for our benefit?

Could all this flashy equipment be fake?

Uh, uh...Listen, Sandy,
I must say it looks real to me.

Oh, don't be gullible.

Were this actually a high voltage switch,

it would overload if I did this.

[all gasp]

[all screaming]

[coughing]

We seem to be having
some technical difficulty

with our feed from Helen and Sandy.

Until we can get back to them,

let's have this week's commentary
by Rune Ancient.

You ever notice if you stare long enough,

you can see your fingernails grow.

Do you ever notice
how dust collects on you

if you don't move?
I hate that.

Sorry to interrupt, sounded fascinating,

but we've resumed contact
at Ghostbusters Headquarters.

Mishap in Manhattan.

That's what the scandal sheets
will no doubt call it.

At this stage it's difficult
to piece things together,

but it seems there was an accident
during the test run.

Accident! Nothing!

It's your fault, you jellied ham!

[choking] Clearly emotions
are running high.

[Helen] Whatever the cause,

the surge of energy has brought about

a remarkable transformation
in Dr. Spengler.

Will it prove a health hazard

or the exercise sensation of the '90's?

-[electric buzzing]
-[growls]

Didn't quite get that, buddy.

[growling]

Free to destroy!

[thud]

What are your impressions
of what just occurred?

[groaning]

[Winston]
Pete, Ray, get over here!

Get a load of this.

See, Egon's soul got sucked
into the other dimension.

And now there's a demon in his body.

And according to Egon's notes,

if we don't find his soul
and reverse the process inside 15 minutes,

the change is permanent.

Bummer!

Hard choices for the Ghostbusters.

[growling]

As their former colleague,
now demonic host, plays hardball...

We can't zap him.
It's still Egon's body.

What do you suggest?

Remember King Kong?

-[Peter] Did it work?
-[Winston] I think so.

So where is he?

Hey, that's our camera truck!

[snoring]

Right, Sandy,
I'm racing back to our studio

for an exclusive interview.

Great, unless we get
Egon's body back here,

there'll be no switch.

And we've still gotta find his soul.

Leave that to me.

But, Peter, that means going into
the other dimension.

Travel and danger,
that's what some guys live for.

Unfortunately, not me.

Let's do it!

[tires screech]

[Sandy] Will act two bring a happy ending

or merely more anguish and despair.

We'll soon see.

Back to you, Eldon.

A thought provoking report.

Coming up, an examination of why

anchorman Field compelled to add
vacuous comments

at the end of each report.

But first, a word from our sponsor.

Welcome back,
up now, more on the Ghostbusters disaster.

[Sandy]
It's the stuff of raw adventure

as Dr. Venkman prepares
to boldly go where no young,

upwardly mobile scientist has gone before.

Now, Janine, remember
when I yank on the rope--

Skip it. I've seen Poltergeist.

Right.

Anything we can do?

Keep your distance,
preferably on some other planet.

How can he be so flippant
at a time like this?

[electric buzzing]

In one reporter's opinion,
hardly a vacation spot.

Huh?

Is the Eye of Truth always deaf?

This is the story of the century,

sure to earn this reporter
an Emmy or a Pulitzer Prize.

[applause]

I must be slipping,
that sounds like applause.

Happens wherever I go.

But not like that.

[screeching]

[yelling]

[man] He's coming around.

With us in the studio,

a demon who has sought asylum
in the body of Dr. Egon Spengler.

Perhaps he's fleeing political repression

or seeking artistic fulfillment.

[growling]

Free! Free to destroy!

[Helen screaming]

[Egon laughs]

Or, he could just be
your standard monster.

Uh, oh, uh...

[growling]

[people screaming]

Look, Ghostbusters!

All right!

First things first.
Save the lady.

Right, what's your favorite sport?

Huh?

Whatever works.

[shrieks]

What?

How dare you interfere with my interview.

Interview? Lady, it's a riot.

[growling]

[screaming]

Now stay put.

Yee-haw!

Are you crazy? That's dangerous.

Who do you think you are,
Lois Lane?

[scoffs]
Not the way she dresses.

[screeching]

What do you call these things?

I call them
only slightly less irritating than you.

That's the last of that.

[exclaims]

Ah!

Oh, please, oh, please.
Don't leave me here.

And I just had this cleaned.

You've got to take me back.

This place is too spooky.

All right, all right.
But first,

tell Dr. Venkman
if you've seen a soul around here.

A soul?

Oh, just over that hill.
Can't miss it.

Now, fold me up and put me away.

[cackling]

[Raymond] There he is.

We've got to get him back
to the firehouse.

Great, what's your plan?

We can't blast him,
but maybe we can use these

to head him in the right direction.

I gotcha.

[tires screeching]

That's it, keep it up.

[Egon] Ow!

Come on. Times almost up.

Can't miss it, huh?

[Peter] It doesn't take a genius to see
that's not Egon.

Another tragic demonstration
that you should never trust a ghost.

[Peter] No, wait.

[yells] help!

What a come down,
from technician to trampoline.

Hold these.

I gotta travel light.

You OK, Egon?

Do I look OK?

I retract the question.

[snarling]

Grab hold,

unless you wanna log your last report
from the underside of a foot.

You too.

I just hope Janine's
not on a coffee break.

[all yell]

If we paid you, I'd give you a raise.

Where'd you find him?

[growling]

You could lend a hand here.

Only a minute to go.

-[monster growling]
-[both straining]

[SNARLING]

-[Slimer mumbles]
-[laughing]

[Janine] Drive in service
and none too soon.

[growling]

Here's our guest.
So roll out the carpet.

At Ghostbusters Headquarters,
chaos reigns supreme

with only we journalists
able to rise above it.

-[growling]
-[both screaming]

[Slimer] Oh-oh!

[Slimer screaming]

Egon, say something.

This lab is clean.

-[Winston and ] All right!
-Great.

[Slimer laughs]

Except for them. Yuck!

[Eldon] Hello, Sandy...

We're running late,
can you give us a wrap up?

My pleasure, Eldon.

Earlier the question was asked,
"Who needs the Ghostbusters?"

On the basis of this story,
it's clear many need the Ghostbusters.

While others, just need...a bath.

Eldon?

Well, that's our show for tonight.

Until next time, this is 20/40/60.

We're on top of it,
so you don't have to be.

Good night.

[theme music playing]

[shrieks]