02x36 - Apocalypse—What, Now?

[bunniefuu]

[Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If there's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm blaring]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If there's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

-[alarm blaring]
-[tires screeching]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[roaring]

[screaming]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[men shouting indistinctly]

[man] Bandits! Bandits!

[men grunting]

Bandits!

This is our greatest treasure,

the Codex of Saint Theophilus.

It must never fall into
the hands of unbelievers!

And the seal must never be broken.

-May the Lord...
-[loud thud]

Uh...Uh...

Well, you know.

Amen.

Remember, my son,
the fate of the world depends on you.

Do not worry, Father,
I shall not fail! [screams]

Should have used a longer rope.

[auctioneer] Sold for $350.

Our next volume is an
extremely interesting one.

Do they sell popcorn at these things?

No, but they do have a copy

of Benz and Franck's,
The Ectoplasmic Gourmet.

Yum, yum!

It comes up later.

I bet.

A very old sealed manuscript
with an illuminated cover.

[blows]

[coughs]

Believed to be Saint Theophilus.

[suppresses sneeze]

We'll begin the bidding at $100.

I have $100, do I hear $200?

$200, do I hear three?

$300, will anyone go four?

Four hundred?

[indistinct talking]

Some jerk must really want that book.

Do I hear $500?

-Five hundred!
-Ah...

Six hundred?

Seven hundred?

Eight? Nine? $1,000!

[Peter sneezes loudly]

Sold to the gentlemen
in the first row for $1000.

Gesundheit!

Couldn't I just wait and see the movie?

I'm afraid all sales are final.

Perhaps if you brought
the book to the next auction,

we could sell it for you.

We'll be here.

I'll bring the sneezing powder.

Huh?

What's that you're working on, Egon?

It's a new idea.

An Ectoplasmic Disintegrator.

[buzzing]

Blasted!

Man, when it disintegrates,
it disintegrates.

[Egon] Oh good, Ray, you're here.

Did you get the Ben's and...

No.

Sneezy here spent all our money.

Mr. Sneezy to you.

Blow it out your nose, Peter.

Come on, Ray, it's only money.

I wonder what that means.

Somebody dripped wax all over your book.

Maybe they like to read by candle light.

It's a wax seal, Dr. Venkman.

It's how they used to make sure nobody
opened certain books.

I read all about it in high-school, I...

That's great, Janine, why don't you answer
the phone or something?

It isn't ringing.

-How did he do that?
-[phone rings]

Ghostbusters.

What do you want?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Shrieks and moans.

Howling...

They'll be right over.

Somebody's got a ghost up their chimney.

[siren wailing]

Uh, I thought they'd never leave.

Now I can have lunch.

Oh, great, now I can't even find my book.

Well, I guess, this will have to do.

I wonder how you're supposed
to get this thing open.

[exclaims in disgust]

What a mess!

[thunder crackling]

Wouldn't you know it,
always on my lunch hour.

Oh, brother!

I wonder if there are any pictures.

[thunder rumbling]

Oh, I wouldn't even put
this on my coffee table.

[shouting]

Maybe I'll just skip lunch today.

Well, Ray,
at least it wasn't a complete loss.

You did get that cat out of the chimney.

I don't want to talk about it.

Anybody see the weather
report this morning?

This is not typical New York weather!

[croaking]

At least it's not raining cats and dogs!

Oops!

[horsemen shriek]

Yeah, but look out for flying horses!

An equestrian manifestation!

[Ray] It's round-up time, partners!

Yippee-ka-yay-ay!

[tires screeching]

[growling]

Here they come!

[horsemen shrieking]

We better split up.

I'll take lingerie.

Huh?

[beeping]

This way.

I'm right behind you.

[woman screams]

Excuse me, ma'am.

[growling]

Ugh. You look like death warmed over.

-[Winston] Now?
-[Ray] Now!

Oh, that was incredibly easy!

I wish I knew the identity
of these spirits.

It's probably just
interdimensional saddle trance.

We better look them up
in Tobin's Spirit Guide.

Got a copy in the car?

Hey, don't turn on
the light while I'm driving.

[horsemen shrieking]

[Ghostbusters yelling]

[yelling continues]

Oh, man!

[horsemen shrieking]

Hey, quit pushing against the seat.

Now, that's what I call an exit.

It-It didn't hold them.

They're too strong for the trap.

So now what are we going to do?

I don't know, Winston. I just don't know.

Ghostbusters. Will you hold?

Ghostbusters. Hold please.

Ghostbusters. Hold...

I know you're holding, Mr. President.

Hold longer. Ghostbusters.

Where have you guys been?

I'm getting calls from all over the world.

And we don't even have a toll free number.

Hey, guys, look at this.

[man on TV] We interrupt our
regularly scheduled program

in order to bring you
the following special report.

Mysterious ghost riders bring
havoc to the world's capitals.

But first, a word from our sponsor.

[doorbell rings]

I have come for the book.

It's for you.

You're with the paper drive, right?

My name is Father Yanos.

From the monastery of Saint Theophilus.

A thousand years ago, Saint Theophilus

sealed four spirits inside this book.

The dark riders.

The four horsemen of the Apocalypse.

The scourges of mankind.

The fab four.

[Father Yanos]
For seven centuries we guarded it well.

Then it was lost.

I came as soon as we learned
that the book had been found.

But I am too late.

Someone has broken the seal

and released the dark riders.

Oops.

According to the book,

there is one hope for the world.

The horsemen can be imprisoned again

by the seal of Saint Theophilus.

You don't just happen to
have it on you, do you?

No.

The seal is kept safe at the monastery.

In Greece.

Doesn't that make it kind of slippery?

He means the country.

I'll pack a suitcase.

[Peter] Boy, this is great.

I love to fly.

Me, too.

Except this place looked
like Vulture Airlines.

But I'll bet the food is terrific.

Would you like a magazine?

Do you have a copy of
Malevolent Spirits Monthly?

[Peter] Hey, look, Winston.

Your knuckles are turning white.

[Winston groans]

[horsemen shrieking]

[air hostess] We are now landing
at Athens International Airport.

[horsemen growling]

Welcome to Greece.

I kiss the soil of my homeland.

Good thing you weren't born in Newark.

What are you doing, Winston?
You're not Greek?

No.

But I'm on the ground.

[kissing]

I told you we'd get here in one piece.

Metal fatigue?

[kisses]

I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.

[Peter] Oh, boy, we get to ride the train.

Can I sit by the window?

[all shouting]

Looks like we gave the horsemen the slip.

[train horn blaring]

[Peter] Now, this is scenery.

But why is it so dark everywhere we go?

Yeah.

It's like the end of the world.

[Egon] And it might be just that.

[Father Yanos] This is it, my sons.

The end of the line.

[Ray] Bad choice of words, padre.

The monastery is just outside the village.

Probably near the end of this sign.

Only a few more kilometers.

[Winston]
The airplane didn't go this high.

Yeah, and the seats were more comfortable.

Take five.

Ever since bandits sacked
the monastery in 1684,

this has been the only way
to reach the monastery.

[Ray] I guess you're not
bothered by salesmen.

Can we ride the monorail next?

I'm getting a P.K.E reading, g*ng.

[all] Oh, no!

[horsemen growling]

[all screaming]

Something must have broken our fall.

[Father Yanos groans]

Are you all right, Father?

Yes, my son.

I love these father-son things.

Just get the seal.

So far, so good.

If anybody's got a shatter-proof watch on,

now is your chance to test it.

Boy...

And people think
the weather's bad back home.

[lightning crackling]

[screams]

Peter!

Hoop!

So...

Halfway, I'll settle for that.

Phew!

That was even harder than I thought.

Going down should be a lot quicker.

Quick, the seal of Saint Theophilus.

Yes, of course.

And some wax.

Understood.

Can we stand someplace else?

Wait, we may never have another
opportunity like this.

That's what I'm afraid of.

If we set a ghost trap
right in front of us,

the horsemen will have to pass over it.

Then we have only to seal it.

[growling]

If this doesn't work,

I'm going to be real upset.

[horsemen shrieking]

Now, Ray.

[horsemen screaming]

I have the seal.

-Oh, no.
-No.

[all] Peter!

Huh?

[Winston] Oh, no.

Peter!

Can you throw the ring up to us?

No!

Why don't we throw the trap down to him?

That's so simple, it's brilliant.

No, it's so brilliant, it's simple.

Heads up, Peter.

All right.

Ooh!

It's right behind you, Peter.

[muffled talking]

[exclaims in disgust]

The seal, Peter. The seal impression.

[Peter imitates seal barking]

No, Peter, not an impression of a seal.

The seal impression.

Too late, it's going to blow.

Sorry, guys.

Back to the stables.

A miracle.

What can I say?

You, you have saved the world.

Even the doves have returned.

[Peter] That's great, I'm glad.

Really, and truly I am.

But, like, could somebody
get me out of here?

Or toss me some bird seed,

or a frying pan.

Or something.

Guys!

Guys!

[theme music playing]

[screaming]