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02x40 - The Scaring of the Green

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Real Ghostbusters". Aired: September 13, 1986 – October 5, 1991.*
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Series follows the continuing adventures of the four Ghostbusters, their secretary Janine, their accountant Louis, and their mascot Slimer, as they chase and capture rogue spooks, specters, spirits and ghosts around New York City and various other areas of the world.

02x40 - The Scaring of the Green

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music playing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If there's something strange ♪

♪ In your neighborhood ♪

♪ Who ya gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ If it's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who ya gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who ya gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ Who ya gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[water bubbling]

[groans]

[howling]

Good evening, ma'am.

Has the banquette started yet?

[Peter] Back off, sly monger.

I believe so.

[expl*si*n]

Leave!

[ghost laughing]

I can't believe we missed.

Believe it.

[Mayor] Look at this place.

I invited every important Irishman
in New York,

to the Saint Patrick's Day dinner.

Do you know how many Irish
voters there are in this city?

Do you know how many Irish
voters there are in New York?

Uh, living or dead?

[beeping]

I'm getting strong readings.

Over there.

You...You...

Hold that thought.

[gasp]

What a stupid...Yikes!

[laughs]

Ouch.

[Ray] There he goes.

I got him, Ray.

[laughs]

I meant to do that.

Want to make a wish?

Stop that turkey.

You're lunch meat, pal!

[laughs]

Got him.

Stand back.

[screaming]

Well, that's the last of them.

[screams]

What, another one? Oops!

[all]
Uh-oh.

How was I supposed to know
it was the Mayor's wife.

All I saw was a quivering
green blob.

I'll tell her you said that.

She was pale, like a ghost.

Especially after you fired.

Good shot, though.

Aw, come on, guys.

It could be worse.

[laughs]

Although, I don't know how.

Give us a break, Frump.

It's almost Saint Patrick's day.

We're gonna miss the parade.

I didn't know, you were Irish.

[door opening]

That's enough, now,
Lieutenant Frump.

I'll be taking over here,
wait outside, if you please.

Sure chief, whatever you say.

[door closing]

I'm Deputy Police Chief O'Malley.

I was wondering
if you Ghostbusters

could do me a wee
bit of a favor?

I can get the charges drop,

and I'll even pay
for the Mayor wife's dress

that you burned to a cinder.

Is this guy beautiful or what?

What's the favor?

It's a confidential
matter of mind.

A long time ago, the head
of the O'Malley clan

stole a pot of gold
from a Leprechaun.

[Chief] Leprechaun put a cursed
on the O'Malley's,

and now, when there's a full
moon on Saint Patrick's day,

a Bog Hound rises and carries
away the head of the Clan O'Malley.

[growls]

Today's Saint Patrick's Day.

The moon is full and I'm...

[all] The head of the Clan O'Malley.

You seem to be
doubting me word.

Oh, no, we run into this kind
of thing all the time.

Don't we, guys?

Absolutely.

-Of course.
-Everyday.

Me great grandfather himself
was almost carried away.

He even felt the jaws
of the Hound,

close on him
before he escaped.

He used to show me this
when I was a wee babe

as proved of the tale.

The hair of the dog
that bit him.

Family "hairloom."

That doesn't proof anything.

No, but it does open certain
doors for us, Egon.

[giant footsteps approaching]

Have you had a bath lately?

You're starting to smell
like a wet dog.

[both screaming]

[howling]

[glass shattering]

[exclaims]

So, what would you
like us to do?

According to me great grandfather,

there's only one thing that
will stop the Bog Hound.

A four-leaf clover.

Four leaves clovers,
pots of gold.

We'll be talking powdered bat wings
by the time this is over.

It's just not scientific.

You're forgetting chapter 27
in Tobin's Spirit Guide,

"Botanical-Specific Avoidance
in Spectral Manifestations."

[honking]

[screams]

That road hog!

Nice driving, Ray.

Pretzel?

Well, you guys can hunt four-leaf clovers
if you want to.

There's only one real way
to stop a ghost.

Science.

Indicative, highly indicative.

[growling]

[elephant trumpeting]

[tires screeching]

[snake rattles]

[gasps]

I'll teach this old dog
some new tricks.

[barking]

[gasps]

Who needs a four-leaf clover,

when you got science
on your side.

You're barking up
the wrong tree, Fido.

He said he recharged all these.

[growling]

[snarling]

Uh. Nice doggie.

Whoa!

[screams]

[growling]

Whoa!

[growling]

Ooh, safe.

[growling]

[gulps]

[snarling]

I'm sure there are several
perfectly rational ways out of this.

Unfortunately, they all involve
a quick and ugly demise.

[barking]

Uh, nice kitty. Nice kitty.

Good doggie. Good doggie.

[growls]

Back, Simba. Back. Ungawa.

It worked for Jonny Weissmuller.

[growling]

[screams]

My...My glasses.

[growling]

Here, boy.

Fetch!

[barking]

Good dog!

[panting]

[struggling]

[growls]

[howling]

Three leaves, three leaves,
gum wrapper, three leaves.

Sure, now, what would be doing

grazing amongst the grasses
like a great woolly sheep?

Well, actually, I'm looking
for four-leaf clover.

You see, there was this leprechaun
with a pot of gold.

Make fun of me accent, will ya?

That man has
no sense of tradition.

There sure are a lot
of florist shops in this city.

[Egon] I think I've lost them again.

I don't see hide nor...

[tires screeching]

Hmm.

[barking]

[Egon] I think
I'm on the right track.

[Peter] Yeah!

Yay! Yippee!

I got it! I got it!

I did it. I did it. I did it.

Yeah!

I got the four-leaf clover!

Hurray.

How does science
look to you now?

You know, we're
all descended from fish.

It would be no trouble at all
to blip back in time,

find the fish
you descended from

and stuff it into a Cuisinart.

I withdraw the question.

Where did you find
the four-leaf clover?

It was in
the botanical gardens.

They told me the odds
were one in a million.

Ah! Yum, yum, yum, yummy.

But you can't argue with...

[gasps] It's gone.

[burps]

Well, now I know what happened
to my rabbit's foot.

We wasted enough time
on superstition.

He ate it.

A ghost is a ghost.

You can't argue with that.

We have to approach
this Bog Hound problem coolly,

logically and scientifically.

You mean, blast 'em?

Exactly.

I'll charge up the proton packs.

[softly] He just ate it.

[snarling]

[fanfare music playing]

[Peter] I love a parade.

[crowd cheering]

[Egon] Pardon me. Excuse me.
Ghostbusters coming through.

Pardon us. Sorry.

[Peter] Out of the way, please.

-[woman shrieking]
-Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

Thank you. You've been great.
I mean it.

Excuse us. Official business.

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think we are?

You four belong in jail.

We were in jail this morning.

Some guys are never satisfied.

Don't turn around. Just ignore us.
We're here to protect you.

Just act as if your life
isn't about to be snuffed out.

Did you not find
the four-leaf clover?

Don't worry, Chief.
The Bog Hound hasn't found you yet.

I think he can start worrying.

[growling]

[all screaming]

[screaming continues]

[snarling]

Whoa!

[all] Ahhh!

Look out.

It's after Peter.

[panting]

Woah!

Why don't you watch
where you're going?

Chief, stay close.

Nothing could drag me away.

Whoa!

[screams]

[gasps]

The proton packs.

-Oh, no.
-Yikes.

Missed.

I've never been
so humiliated in my life.

Well, this isn't over yet.

Come on, Peter.
O'Malley's in trouble.

A four-leaf clover.

What do you think
you're doing?

Sorry. I don't have
time to explain.

I gotta see a man about a dog.

[growling]

Anybody have
a rolled-up newspaper?

Hey, four eyes.

Yeah, I'm talking to you,
bog breath.

Bad dog. Bad.

It's back to the bog for you.

Go home.

[snarling]

Hey, this thing's made
out of plastic.

Whoa!

Ahhh!

[yelps]

Got him!

[muffled]
Great work, Egon. I mean that.

It's all right, Chief O'Malley.
We got the Bog Hound.

[muffled] I found a penny.

In recognition of your extreme
heroism today,

the directors
of the Saint Patrick's Day parade

have proclaimed you
honorary Irishmen.

The awards will be presented

by the Honorary Grand Marshal
of the parade,

my wife.

This is more than an honor.

It's a pleasure.

[Peter] Ow!

[Mayor's wife] Oh, I'm sorry.
Let me try again.

[Peter] Ow!

[theme music playing]