04x04 - Squeak Previews/Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Wade/A Tall Tale

[bunniefuu]

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [drum roll]

♪ We're

♪ We're

♪ Ready

♪ Ready

♪ To

♪ To

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ I'm scared

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta, romancing, siesta ♪

♪ Samba, La Bamba

♪ Ay caramba

♪ Disguises, disguises

♪ Surprises, surprises

♪ And pies of, and pies of all sizes ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ You bet

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

- You notice how every week I say something different here?

[flashy music]

[lively music]

[upbeat electronic music]

- We're having blueberry pie and ice cream

for dessert, Pooky.

- Here's your pie, Garfield.

I have to go pick up Liz and I'm late.

- There's no ice cream here.

There was supposed to be ice cream.

Arbuckle, remember the a la mode.

[door closes]

The service here is getting worse and worse.

If he's expecting a tip, he's in for a big surprise.

[upbeat jazz music]

[ominous music]

[door opens]

[wind blows]

[Garfield thuds]

[upbeat electronic music]

[slops]

My pie.

My blueberry pie.

Who could have eaten it?

You've been pretending to be a stuffed toy all these years,

just so you could steal my pie.

No, not you, not with that innocent face.

[upbeat jazz music]

- I hear ya, but that cat's gonna be after us any second.

- Just leave it to me, Ferg.

I got this all figured out.

Just smear this blueberry on my back.

- I don't know how this is gonna

stop that cat from chompin' us.

[trumpet music]

- Uh, yoo-hoo, poochie.

Anybody home? - Huh?

[licks]

[giggles]

- Hey, that tickles.

- Elmo, cat coming.

- Odie, Odie did you take my blueberry pie?

- Uh huh.

- Tongue please.

Ha!

Just as I suspected, it's blue.

[snaps]

Blueberry pie stealing.

Oh, you're in big trouble this time, Odie.

- Mmm-mmm. [grunts]

- Come on, we're gonna strip your bed.

Okay, what is this?

[chuckles]

[mutters]

That's right, it's a pie plate,

but it's not just any pie plate,

it happens to be my pie plate.

[whimpers]

I'm gonna punish you, but how?

I know, maybe I'll make you watch a televised chess match.

Nah, too cruel and unusual.

[whimpers]

The Judicial System.

[gasps] You want a trial?

- Yeah, yeah.

- All right, we'll have a fair, unbiased

and impartial trial,

then we'll find you guilty.

- Huh? [whimpers]

- Thanks for agreeing to be the judge, Floyd.

- Hey anything to get on the show

more than once a season,

and I even got you a jury.

[whistles]

[bluesy music]

- Sorry.

[whooshes]

You may file into the jury box.

- Hear ye, hear ye, this Court is now in session,

the Honorable Floyd Mouse presiding.

[slams]

- Your Honor, I intend to prove that this,

this dog did willfully and with absence of ice cream,

devour my slice of blueberry pie.

I would like to call my first witness, if you please.

Nermal cat.

[mice cheer]

Please state your name.

[throat clears]

- Nermal cat.

- And your occupation?

- Cutest kitty cat in the whole wide world.

- Nermal, why did you say that?

- I had to Garfield, I'm under oath.

- Where were you the night of August 23rd?

What do you know about the Klopman diamond?

Where did you hide the gloves?

How did you know the contestant never ate liverwurst?

When was the w*r of 1812?

Who put the bomp in the bomp she bomp?

How did you dispose of the body?

Is professional wrestling fixed?

- I can't take it anymore.

I did it, I did it, I confess.

[thuds]

- Your Honor, I object. - What do you object to?

- The last witness' acting ability.

And now, if it please the court.

- The court is thrilled, get on with it.

- I'd like to call someone who actually saw the crime

as it occurred.

I called Pooky bear to the stand.

- Poor Odie.

He'll probably get the chair,

or a rolled-up newspaper.

- You are so smart, Elmo.

[chuckles]

Why, that dumb pup's gonna take the fall for us.

- [Elmo] That blueberry pie was fabulous, wasn't it?

[rats slurp]

- Ooh, what a decidedly uncute thing to do to poor Odie.

- If you did not see Odie steal my blueberry pie,

please say so.

Ha, well, I think that settles it.

Odie has been caught red-handed and blue-tongued,

stealing my pie.

[groans]

- Psst, Odie.

I have something to tell you.

[whispers]

[suspicious flute music]

[growls]

- Your mouse honor, the pie thief is making a break for it.

[electronic chase music]

- Maybe tomorrow we can score some waffles

and pin it on that kitty.

You know, the disgustingly cute--

[barks]

[boings] [springs]

[boings] [springs]

- Odie, you come back here and stand trial

like a good guilty puppy.

[sproings] [crashes]

Odie. You'll swing for this.

[sniffs]

- That stupid dog'll never find us in here.

[door squeaks open]

[growls]

[yells]

[Odie barks] [mice whimper]

[dishes crash]

[Odie barks] [mice whimper]

- Let's see, dishes, canned goods, dish towels,

cat food, cat food, cat food, cat food, cat food.

Ah, here we are, puppy dogs.

[thuds] [whimpers]

Okay dog, you're busted.

A pie felony was bad enough,

now we have attempted escape, resisting arrest,

speeding inside a kitchen cabinet.

- Garfield, look.

[heavy music]

[thuds]

I know these guys.

That's Elmo and Ferg.

Their tongues are both blue.

- They stole my pie?

Not Odie? - Yeah, yeah.

- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

how do you find this Odie?

- [All] Not guilty.

- And how do you find Elmo and Ferg?

- [All] Guilty.

- Elmo and Ferg, I sentence you to five days in the can.

[slams]

[slams]

- Odie, I apologize you were innocent.

I was wrong and I'm sorry.

[licks]

However, I am going to have to have him arrested

for ill*gal use of a wet tongue.

[spritely flute music]

[boings]

[spits]

[licks]

- Oh very well Garfield, you may have my steak.

I know, I'm a sucker for the loving adoration of a pet.

[happy music]

[jovial music]

[rooster crows]

[door squeaks closed]

[sighs]

- It's hard work fixing a tractor.

I'll take a break and go dive

into my nice cool hog waller full of non-chlorinated mud.

Yahoo.

[sproing]

[thuds] [letters flutter]

What happened?

Where did all my mud go?

- This is all our fan mail, Orson.

It's from people writing in with questions about the show.

[mutters]

Oh no, help, help, oh this is awful.

This is terrible.

Help, mayday.

[springs] [crashes]

- Wade, what is in that letter that is so scary?

"Dear Wade, is it true you're afraid of everything?"

Wade, what are you afraid of in this letter?

- I'm afraid he's right.

- Most people seem to be asking us the same question,

what's the deal with the egg?

- The egg?

Oh, they mean Sheldon.

I guess Sheldon's story starts back

when he and his brother Booker were both eggs.

- Flashback, take one.

Cue the fancy dissolve.

[claps]

- Thank you.

Their mother had just abandoned them,

so they were just two lost eggs.

- Gosh, I wonder what we are.

- We're eggs, dummy.

- No, I wonder if we're alligator eggs,

or dinosaur eggs or chicken eggs.

- Oh, I hope we're not chicken eggs.

- Why not?

[chuckles]

- I'm allergic to feathers.

- That was when I found them.

[horn honks] [magazine falls]

Gee, poor little eggs.

No one to sit on you and hatch you, I,

[gulps]

guess I'll have to do it.

[heavy ominous music]

It was a little embarrassing.

You know, a pig sitting on eggs.

♪ Orson Piggy had a farm, E-I-E-I-O ♪

♪ And on this farm, he had an extremely handsome rooster ♪

♪ E-I-E-I-O

♪ With a cute Roy here and a cute Roy there ♪

♪ Here a Roy, there a Roy

♪ Everywhere a Roy

- Oh boy.

[cackles]

- Roy, not one giggle out of you.

If I hear so much as a snicker, our friendship is over.

- One moment please.

[whooshes]

[funky rock music]

[cackles]

Oh, do I have to laugh.

[zips]

Why, Orson, my friend,

I would never dream of laughing at you.

- Yeah.

For days, I sat on those eggs.

I don't mind telling you, it was kind of boring.

[clock ticks]

- Go fish.

[ball taps]

- And just when I finally thought

I couldn't sit on those eggs for another minute,

something happened.

[rumbles]

[boings]

This was the moment that made it all worth it.

First, one egg started to crack.

And then, a chick was born.

Then the other egg started to shake,

and, and, well it sorted got born,

just not all the way.

- Mommy!

- Mommy.

- I named the first born Booker because,

because I like books.

I named the other one Sheldon because,

well isn't it obvious?

Sheldon had read some newspapers before he was born.

Don't ask me how he got delivery,

and he decided he'd be happier staying in his shell.

- An egg.

An egg with legs.

Help, help, eggs have legs.

- [Orson] Which is not to say that living in a shell

was not without its disadvantages.

- Hey Sheldon, go out for a pass, man.

[upbeat electronic music]

[whooshes]

[boings] [thuds]

- There's one of them right there.

But there are even worse ones.

Now, I want you to stay with the other chicks.

Don't wander off alone, there's been a weasel around here.

- Hi guys.

- We don't want to play with you.

- Yeah, on account of you're not a chick,

you're a egg.

- Yeah, you're a egg. - Go away, you're an egg.

- Go on, egg. - Go away.

- I'm not an egg, I'm a chick.

It's just that that part's on the inside.

But if you don't want to play with me,

I don't want to play with you.

- Egg, you're an egg. - Omelets, eggs, eggs.

Egg head.

- [Orson] And so, in spite of my warning,

Sheldon wandered off all by himself,

not the brightest thing he ever did.

[leaves rustle]

[mischievous music]

A few minutes later,

Booker returned from a brief footrace and asked.

- Hey, where'd my brother go?

- Oh, you mean that egg?

- We told him to get lost,

why does he stay in that shell?

- He went off by himself.

- By himself?

But there's a weasel lurking around.

We've got to go find him.

[whooshes]

- [Orson] Sheldon was doing a good job

feeling sorry for himself.

- Oh, this is awful.

It's worse than that time

when those women tried to get pantyhose out of me.

- [Orson] And weaseling right behind.

- Hmmm, you don't usually find chicken quite this fresh.

[whooshes]

[knocks]

Ow!

[whistles]

[crashes]

- Spread out, he must have come this way.

You shouldn't have called him an egg.

- [Chick] He is an egg.

- Yeah, what is he good for?

[sproings]

- [Chicks] Hey, now we go.

- These chickens are better,

they don't need to be peeled.

- [Orson] Sheldon was some distance away by then.

- [Chicks] Help, help, help.

- [Orson] Fortunately, you can hear pretty well

through eggshell.

[whooshes]

- Stop squirming, stop squir--

Makes you harder to fricassee.

- [Orson] The weasel thought

he was going to have quite a chicken dinner,

but he had failed to reckon with Sheldon.

- You put my friends down.

- And just what are you gonna do about it,

you're just an egg.

[smashes] [yelps]

Ow, ow.

Ooh.

- [Chicks] Yay, you saved us, Sheldon.

Yipee, show him.

[yelps]

[rumbles]

- You can go back guys, I won't bother you anymore.

I know you don't want a egg around.

- Well, that's how the chicks of the barnyard

learned that an egg is just an inside-out chicken,

and nobody ever made fun of Sheldon again.

So, I hope that answers your question,

all of you who wrote in.

Guys, if I can't get a mud bath here,

I'm gonna go get my tools

and go back to work on the tractor.

- Whatever you say, Ors.

- Boy, that sure is a lot of mail.

But I wonder what they did with all my mud.

Guys, what did you do with all my mu--

[squishes]

- [Roy] What did you ask, Orson?

[sighs]

- Nevermind.

[upbeat electronic music]

- Before we head home, guys,

I need to stop at the market to pick up a few things.

We'll stop at Gramp's market here.

He always has what we need.

- Yeah, but never enough of it.

- I'm sorry Gramps, I'm 82 cents short.

- Oh, that's okay, Mrs. Cassoletti.

You can pay me next time you come in.

Oh, Mr. Arbuckle my best customer.

Whew, I'm saved.

- Hi Gramps, I've never seen your market so empty.

- Oh yeah, well, that,

it's that new Food Monster supermarket

they've opened across the street.

Why, they're taking all my customers away from me.

- Which is why you ought to give up

and sell this dump to me.

- Hey, you get out of my store, Mr. Baggett.

I'm not selling to you and that's final.

- You'll sell, then I can tear this antique down

and put in more parking spaces for the Food Monster.

Say pal, how would you like to get triple coupons?

- Triple coupons?

- Weekly specials.

- Weekly specials?

- And contests with big cash prizes.

- Contests with big cash prizes?

How, where, when?

- Just shop at the Food Monster.

- Yes, I must shop at the Food Monster.

- Hey, wait for us.

I have a small shopping list.

- [stutters] Don't shop there.

I stock the best produce,

the finest meat.

[triumphant music]

- [Baggett] And we have a best buy this week only

on creamed yogurt hearts.

- I don't buy creamed yogurt hearts.

- So what, it's a best buy.

- Oh, well then maybe I better pick up a dozen.

[energetic disco music]

- Okay, we'll do this alphabetically.

A, anchovies, apples, apricots, artichokes, asparagus,

astronomical quantities.

- That old-fashioned market across the street

will be bankrupt in no ti--

Wait a minute, the cart that woman is pushing,

the wheels on it aren't crooked.

We make the wheels crooked,

so the cart veers near the shelves,

and babies can grab things to buy.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Baggett.

- And what is this?

The reasonably-priced sizes are

on the easy-to-reach shelves?

Here's where you put the sizes people want,

up where they can't reach them.

You put the super jumbo sizes down here,

where they're convenient.

Now, fix these while I check on my new customer.

- Cabbage, cacciatore, cake comma carrot,

cake comma chocolate, cake comma coffee.

- Odie, see if you can find me a pound of flour.

- Right.

- Gosh, a lot of these prices seem higher than I'm used to,

but I am getting triple coupons

and weekly specials and contests.

Gee, the wheels on this cart seem to be crooked.

[bangs]

And this market is so big, I can't find anything.

Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find canned soup?

- Aisle 99, turn left at yams and go about three miles

till you see prunes and hang a right.

[sighs]

[whimpers]

[sniffs]

- Looking for flour, doggy?

- Yeah, yeah.

- The 200-pound bags are on the bottom,



and one-pound bags are on the top shelf.

[gulps]

[grunts]

[thuds]

[machine beeps]

- I love this new computer price scanning,

no one ever knows how much we're charging them.

Look at that, $12 for a can of peas.



The customers never know.

How much are pears?



Attention customers, we are currently having

a special on pears, only 85 cents each.

[stampedes]

[cackles]

People will pay anything if you tell 'em it's a special.

- Mr. Baggett, sir, there's a dog over in Aisle 180.

Well, that's not pet supplies.

I'll get to the bottom of this.

[grunts]

[sighs]

You there, dog, you come down from there this instant.

[footsteps click]

[whimpers]

[whistles]

[thuds]

[whooshes]

[brakes squeal]

Stop that dog.

- This isn't soup, this is Polynesian food.

I must have made a wrong turn at the zucchini.

[Odie barks]

- [Baggett] Stop that dog.

[Odie whimpers]

- Odie's in trouble, we're gonna get thrown out of here

and John's only up to cottage cheese.

[boings]

[wheels squeak]

Don't worry, Odie, help's on the way.

[pants]

[mop thwaps]

[wheels squeak]

[pants]

[yelps]

Oh look, a special on puppies.

[barks]

You wouldn't be so happy

if you knew I can't stop this thing.

[crashes]

[wheels squeal]

We'll take a shortcut down the fruit aisle.

Here pup, eat bananas fast.

[flips] [gulps]

[wheels squeak] [peels thud]

[slips] [yelps]

[crashes]

[fruit rumbles]

We have to get out of here, Odie.

We're less than 10 items so we can use the Express Checkout.

Whoa!

[crashes]

[thuds]

[footsteps clomp]

- What's going on here?

- Your animals have made a shambles of my store.

I should charge you every cent you own.

- You're already charging it for a pound of ground sirloin.

Your prices here are high.

- Sure they're high,

but people are dumb enough to pay them.

That's why I want to put that little market out of business.

His prices across the street are half of ours.

Why, he's making it hard for me to soak the customers.

Plus, that guy has real fresh meat and vegetables,

and, and, where are you people going?

Why aren't you buying?

- Have you ever thought of stepping up to big pay

with a career in the fast-paced world of broadcasting?

- Oh my goodness, no customers.

And I might as well see about--

- Don't lock up, Gramps.

[people chatter] [lively music]

- Did you do this, Mr. Arbuckle?

- Well, Garfield deserves most of the credit.

- True.

- Come back, come back.

I'll give quadruple coupons.

More contests.

I'll even stock fresh milk.

- You saved my store, Garfield,

help yourself to anything on my shelves, free.

- Free?

I'll take some of this and some of this and all of this,

and some of this and boy--

- Gee, maybe it would have been cheaper

to go out of business.

[lively music]