04x05 - Frankenstein Feline/Weatherman Wade/Fill-In Feline

[bunniefuu]

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [upbeat music]

♪ We're

♪ We're

♪ Ready

♪ Ready

♪ To

♪ To

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Dancing

♪ Fiesta

♪ Romancing

♪ Siesta

♪ Samba

♪ La bamba

♪ Ay caramba

♪ Disguises

♪ Disguises

♪ Surprises

♪ Surprises

♪ And pies of

♪ And pies of all sizes

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

- This show is the only possible reason

for getting up this early.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- [chuckles] I'm cooking myself a burger

before the company starts to arrive, Alice.

That looks about done.

Oh, and Alice,

keep an eye out for that cat during our party,

you know, uh, Arbuckle's feline vacuum cleaner.

- Mm, little undercooked,

but the guy does make a good burger.

- That did it, I've had enough of that cat!

- I'm gonna be the hit of the costume party tonight, Liz.

- Oh, hope you're not coming

as a giant liverwurst sandwich like last time,

Garfield ate half your costume before you left the house.

- I'm going as the scariest monster you've ever seen.

Meet me here at eight, bye.

Liz will love me dressed as the Frankenstein monster,

but I don't have a picture of the monster,

I can't design my makeup without a picture.

What am I going to do?

- [TV Announcer] Today, on our Mediocre Movie Matinee,

The Monster of Frankenstein.

- Wow, a real television-type coincidence.

[dramatic music]

I can watch the movie and draw what the monster looks like--

[banging on door]

- Open up, Arbuckle!

- Mr. Burnside, what's up?

- My patience with that cat!

That cat of yours is a menace to society!

- One menace to society going elsewhere.

- Bu-bu-bu-bu-but...

- Don't bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-but me, Arbuckle,

if that cat steals so much as an olive, you're toast!

- If Mr. Burnside gets too mad,

I'll be able to play a monster tonight without makeup.

- [TV Announcer] And now, back to our film,

The Monster of Frankenstein.

- [yawns] I wanted to grab a nap this afternoon,

but I have to sketch this monster.

[dramatic music]

[lightning strikes]

- The villagers and their insults will not stop me, Igor.

I will complete the work of my ancestors

and bring my monster to life!

- Yes, Master.

- Tonight, we make history here in my laboratory,

the only thing my monster lacks is a stomach,

Igor, fetch me the stomach.

[Odie growls and barks]

[whimpers] [glass shatters]

Igor, you, you, you, you, you, you, you dog, you,

look at what you have done. [lightning strikes]

I cannot complete my monster cat without a tummy.

I have no stomach for this kind of work.

Go and find me another cat tummy, at once!

- Yes, Master.

[lightning strikes]

[lightning strikes]

- I'll be with you in a second, Gladys, almost done in here.

Ew, creepy stuff they got in here,

like this, the stomach of a whale.

- At last, my creation has a tummy,

a little large, but I got it in there.

[laughs]

They said it couldn't be done, they laughed at me,

they won't be laughing long! [lightning strikes]

[electricity buzzes]

- Huh? Uh-oh.

- Lightning has charged my creation, giving it life!

What is it?

I already put the stomach into the monster,

what are you showing me? [Odie growls]

Whale stomach? Whale stomach?

That was the stomach of a whale?

I've just created a cat with the stomach of a whale,

I have created!

[intense music]

Where is it going? What does it want?

[crashes through wall]

[lightning strikes]

[people talk over one another]

- Look at what's coming!

- Cats!

- Pizza. [growls]

- Run! - Run! [all scream]

[crashes through wall]

- Mm, sausage, extra cheese.

Ick, anchovies.

- That monster must be from Dr. Arbuckle, let's get him!

[people yell]

[bangs on door]

- Igor, they've come for me,

the monster must be loose in the...

- Open up, Arbuckle! [upbeat music]

It's that cat of yours again!

- Oh, my monster got away, I mean, my cat, I mean...

Hey!

- Nice of the neighbors to have

a backyard barbecue in my honor,

even if they didn't know it was in my honor.

- My cat eats a lot, what can I say?

- You can say the name of the hospital

you wanna be taken to.

- Uh-oh, that darn Jon's

always getting himself into trouble,

and it's always up to me to get him out of it.

A brilliant idea, boy, I wish I had one.

Monster makeup, this might work.

- Now I'm really gonna let you have it!

- That wasn't it?

- For all the times that cat of yours has stolen my quiche,

I'm gonna--

[Garfield growls]

- Monster-type sounds, grr.

- Help! Help!

Monster! Help!

Monster!

- Garfield, you saved my life.

- Yeah, well, you're worth it, especially around lunchtime.

- But what am I gonna do?

I'm supposed to be a monster

in the costume party I'm taking Liz to,

now I'm a mess of bruises,

and you used up all my monster makeup.

- Just leave it to me.

[dramatic music]

- I'll hand it to ya, Jon,

you finally came up with a good monster costume.

What gave you the idea to go as the living mummy?

- [muffled speech]

- Well, we saved,

rather I saved the day again,

but why do you think Jon kept muttering

about me being a monster?

- I don't know.

- I don't get it.

Ick, anchovies.

[upbeat music]

[Garfield snores]

[upbeat music]

[alarm blares]

Yikes!

[alarm blares]

- I assume there's an explanation for this?

- Be careful, they travel in pairs, you know?

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- [Orson] It had been raining for days and days and days,

and some of us were getting very tired of it.

- I wish it would stop raining so I could go hunt worms.

- Well, I wish it would stop raining

so I could work on my tan.

- I wish it would stop raining

so I could hang the laundry out to dry.

- I wish it'd stop raining so I could go swimming.

- I wish it would stop raining

on account of what the moisture does to my wool.

It's a real bummer, man.

- [Orson] But one of us hated the rain

more than all the others combined.

- Oh my, how I hate the rain,

I wish it would stop raining and never rain again.

Rain, rain, go away,

come again another day.

- [Orson] To Wade's utter amazement, it worked,

[upbeat music] or at least it seemed to.

- The rain stopped, we are sans precipitation,

and I did it, I stopped the rain!

- [Orson] We were all a little amazed

that the rain stopped so suddenly.

- Who stopped the rain?

Ha ha! I stopped the rain!

I am Wade Rainstopper, the elements, they fear me.

- I think Wade is one tree short of a hammock.

- Oh, he's just having fun, which is what we all oughta do.

[all cheer]

Well, for a while, we did enjoy the wonderful weather.

- 15 minutes, Sheldon, like, time to turn over, man.

- And now, my super-gainer

inside-out upside- down half-nelson

ripper's twist rooster dive

with a forward roll, a backwards roll, and a sweet roll,

yahoo!

A little too much spring in the diving board.

- [Orson] But then a month passed without rain,

and another, and another, and another,

and whole seasons were passing without rain, and...

Hold it, will somebody fix that calendar?

Anyway, things were starting to get pretty dry around here.

- Ah, another day without a drop

courtesy of Wade "Rainbreaker" Duck. [chuckles]

I shall see how Orson is enjoying it.

- The lettuce is real dry,

and I don't know if these carrots are gonna make it.

- Well, can't we irrigate

and put some water on all the crops?

- What water? Take a look at the irrigation channel.

- It's almost dry.

- If we don't get some rain soon,

I don't know what we're gonna do.

- Gee, Orson almost sounded like he wanted it to rain.

- Help me with this hay, Booker,

it's all we have left to feed the horses

until it rains again.

- Gosh, we are in trouble.

- Huh, with no rain,

I don't know how I'm gonna get the laundry done.

- Hold it, stop the cartoon, I have to ask,

Lanolin, what are you usually doing in these cartoons?

- Washing clothes.

- Why? None of us wears any.

Where does all this laundry come from?

- I don't know.

- Neither do I.

Well, anyway, let's get on with the cartoon,

do your line again.

- Okay.

- Lanolin, take two.

- [Lanolin] With no rain,

I don't know how I'm gonna get the laundry done.

- Oh no!

- Says here that this drought

is gonna cause all sorts of damage.

[Bo hums]

- Bo, I have done a very, very,

very, very, very bad thing, very bad.

- Well, if you do a very, very, very, very bad thing, man,

the only thing you can do is try and undo it.

- Bo's right,

I did a very, very, very, very, very bad thing,

and now it is up to me to undo

that very, very, very, very, very bad thing!

[upbeat music] [cannon fires]

Don't sh**t, I'm sorry I stopped the rain! [sobs]

I didn't mean to do it!

Orson, what pray tell are you doing?

- I'm trying to make it rain by seeding the clouds.

- Seeding the clouds?

- Mm-hmm, it's done by sprinkling

silver iodide crystals like I have here into the clouds,

it makes them rain.

Unfortunately, it's not working. [fires cannon]

See, I send the silver iodide crystals up toward the clouds,

but I can't get them up where they might do some good.

It's just never gonna rain!

- Well, this is all my fault,

so it is up to I to get these crystals into those clouds,

which unfortunately means flying.

- [Orson] Now even though Wade was a duck,

flying was something he didn't do a lot of.

Anything higher than standing on tiptoe

was too high for Wade.

Still, he felt responsible, so...

- I can do this.

No, I can't!

Yes, I can!

No, I can't!

Yes, I can!

- [Orson] Three hours later.

- Yes, I can!

- [Orson] And this time,

before he could talk himself out of it...

- No, I can't do this.

Somebody stop the board, I don't wanna do this! [sobs]

Help, anybody.

- [Orson] Just then, the diving board broke.

[diving board breaks] [Wade screams]

- I don't like this at all.

- [Orson] Wade was in a lotta trouble,

but he did have enough presence of mind to open the packet.

He sprinkled the silver iodide crystals on the clouds,

and then...

- Goodbye, folks.

- Orson, look!

- Wade!

[cannon fires]

Wade, Wade, are you alright?

- I'll take a survey, and I'll get back to you.

- What were you doing up there?

- I was trying to seed the clouds for you

so it would rain. [sobs]

It's all my fault that it stopped raining,

I did an awful thing, and now it will never rain again,

and we'll all perish,

plus we'll be real thirsty, and...

- Hey, it's raining!

- The swimming pond's filling up,

I'm gonna go use my diving board!

- Wade, you may not have stopped the rain,

but it looks like you started it again.

- I did? I made it rain?

Me? I undid what I did-ded?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm afraid of rain.

Well, maybe just this one time.

- Wade, you're our hero!

- You are, the only thing I wanna know is

how did you get way up there in the sky?

- Well, I rigged up Roy's diving board so I--

- [Roy] Yahoo!

[Roy screams]

- Orson!

It's raining!

- Yeah, man, it's raining cats and dogs.

- Well, give it another minute

and it'll be raining roosters too.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[Odie pants]

- Hm?

- Odie, where's Garfield?

- I don't know.

- According to the script,

he's supposed to start this episode

by kicking you off the table.

I'll go find out where he is.

- [moans] Oh, I'm sick.

I'm sick, boy, am I sick, el sicko.

- [Director] Uh, Garfield?

- Who is it?

- [Director] It's your director, Garfield.

- Leave me alone, I'm not a well pussycat.

- Oh, not feeling well, huh?

Well, I'm not surprised considering

what you've eaten today.

- What have I eaten today?

- 14 hamburgers, 91 waffles,





eight gallons of ice cream, and one cr*cker.

- I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cr*cker.

- I'll be in my room.

- You mean you're not making dinner?

- [Director] Well, if you can't do your part,

I guess we'll have to find a replacement.

- Do whatever you want, I don't care, I feel awful.

I feel just terrible,

I don't think it's possible that I could feel any worse.

- Hi, Garfield! [upbeat music]

- How about that? I feel worse.

- Yes, it's me, Nermal, the world's cutest kitty cat!

- Quick, someone fire a flare.

- Let's play a game, Garfield.

- Let's play go away forever

and leave poor, sick Garfield alone.

- [Director] Hey, maybe we can have Nermal

fill in for Garfield in this cartoon.

- Me?

- It?

Hey, director, I think your headset's on too tight.

- [Director] Hey, we need a cat, and Nermal's a cat.

- Okay, give the kid the job, I'm too sick to care.

- [Director] Alright, Nermal,

you're gonna play Garfield's role.

Makeup.

Okay, people, we're starting this cartoon over in five,

four, three, two, fade to black, cue title card.

[upbeat music]

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, for this cartoon,

the role of Garfield will be played by Nermal Cat.

Thank you.

[Odie pants] [upbeat music]

- Hmm?

- [Director] Nermal, Nermal, you're on.

- I'm still learning my lines.

[clears throat] I hope Jon has breakfast ready.

I hope Jon has breakfast ready. I hope Jon has breakfast ready.

- [Director] Nermal, you don't have any lines in this scene,

just kick Odie off the table, would ya?

- That's not nice.

- [Director] It's not supposed to be nice,

it's how the script starts,

Garfield kicks Odie off table,

and you're playing Garfield's role.

- I'll do my best.

Oh no, I can't do it, this isn't cute,

people won't like me if I kick Odie off the table.

- Keep watching this and you'll feel worse than I do.

[Odie yawns]

- Mr. Director, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't do it.

I'm too adorable.

- [Director] Alright, okay,

let's get on with the eating scene,

cut to the breakfast room.

Cue Nermal to enter.

- I hope Jon has breakfast ready.

- [Director] Okay, cue Arbuckle.

- Here's your breakfast, Ner, or Garfield,





corned beef hash, a couple of steaks,

eight bowls of oatmeal, six kinds of fresh fruit,

sweet rolls, french toast, french fries, french dip,

french bread, french dressing, juice, and coffee.

- But if I eat all this, I'll get fat.

- I can't take much more of this.

- [Director] Alright, we'll do the food scene later.

Uh, let's try the mailman annoying scene.

Camera three, you ready outside?

- [Cameraman] Camera three's ready outside.

- [Director] Where's our mailman?

- Right here.

- [Director] Alright, you know how this works, huh?

You start to deliver the mail, the cat comes in--

- I know, I know, let's get on with it.

- [Director] Alright, get Nermal in position to jump,

and come on, people, action!

- Mail for Arbuckle.

Well, I hope that cat doesn't bother me this time.

- I did it!

I caught the rare publicus servantis,

and now I'll sell it to the zoo,

and the mail to the neighbors, and I'll...

I can't do this.

- [Director] Ah, cut!

- This man is a dedicated, underpaid government employee

who deserves our respect and gratitude, not this.

- That's it, I've had it!

I quit, I'm outta here!

- Sick or not, I'm not letting 'em do this to my show.

- Mr. Director, I hope I didn't make you mad.

Mr. Director, what do I do next?

I'm sorry if I made you mad.

I'll do whatever you tell me to,

I want to be a good TV star.

- Alright, Nermal, let's see how you take direction.

Lift one foot, lift the other foot,

fall down and go boom.

Do some pushups.

Dance the minute waltz.

Dress up as a zebra.

Move to Minneapolis.

Run in place.

Stand on your head.

Press 50 pounds.

Read a good book.

Do my laundry.

Spin like a top, eat a peach, bounce on your tail.

Okay, that's enough.

[Nermal breathes heavily]

- Did I do good?

- [Garfield] Set up for the high dive.

- High dive?

- [Garfield] It's in the script.

- Are you sure about this?

- [Garfield] Nermal, I'm your director, trust me.

- Well, if it's in the script.

- [Garfield] Come on, come on, we haven't got all day.

- But, Mr. Director, it's awfully high up here!

- [Garfield] Okay, now we want a graceful dive,

and make sure you keep your legs together. [Nermal screams]

All wrong, we'll have to do it again.

Oh wait, the script doesn't call for a vat of water,

it says he lands in a glass of prune juice.

Well, it'll have to do, I'm behind schedule.

- Mr. Director, I don't think this is cute.

- [Garfield] Alright, cue the elephants.

- Elephants? [elephants trumpet and stampede]

- [Garfield] Alright, now according to the script,

for the next scene, we need the shark tank--

- No, no, no shark tank!

I quit! I never wanna be on this show again!

I don't wanna be on TV!

Help! Help!

- Gee, no wonder everyone in TV wants to direct.

[upbeat music] I feel a lot better now,



and I oughta be back to my old self once again.

- Garfield.

- What now?

- I just got a note from the network,

they've been watching the show,

they really like the elephant stampede,

and they wanna see more of that.

Also, they want you to do the high dive every week.

And they like this new shark tank feature, and--

- No, no, get Nermal back, hurry!

Nermal, Nermal, come back, you can have the whole show!

It's all yours! Help!

- [Director] Alright, I'm back, what's going on, Arbuckle?

- Beats me, Mr. Director,

everyone has just run out.

Hm, I guess I have this cartoon to myself now.

So, I figured I'd do a number. [piano plays]

[Jon scats]

- [Director] Uh, let's just end this cartoon

and cue a commercial, fade to black.

- No, wait, I have other songs,

and I can juggle, or do magic.

[upbeat music]