04x07 - Night of the Living Laundromat/Fast Food/Cash and Carry

[bunniefuu]

- [Narrator] Ladies and Gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [drumming]

- [Garfield] We're

- [Crowd] We're

- [Garfield] Ready

- [Crowd] Ready

- [Garfield] To

- [Crowd] To

- [Garfield] Party.

[cheering]

- [All] We're ready to party. We're ready.

- [Garfield] I hope you bring lots of spaghetti.

- I'm scared.

♪ Come on in

♪ Come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

- [All] Dancing.

- [Garfield] Fiesta.

- [All] Romancing.

- [Garfield] Siesta.

- [All] Samba.

- [Garfield] La bamba.

- [All] Ay caramba!

- [Garfield] Disguises.

- [All] Disguises.

- [Garfield] Surprises.

- [All] Surprises.

- [Garfield] And pies of

- [All] And pies of all sizes.

- Aagh!

♪ Come on in

♪ Come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

- [Garfield] Thank you.

You know, a funny thing happened to me

on the way to the cartoon show.

[upbeat music]

It was just another laundry day for Mrs. Ethel Fesenblatt.

Her washing machine had just completed its final spin cycle.

She thought it was time for another load.

Somehow though, her first load wasn't there.

She knew she'd put it in,

and she knew she hadn't taken it out.

And that's when it happened.

[screaming]

Who knew what was down there in the lint trap

munching on Mrs. Fasenblatt's dress shoes.

The answer could only be another of

Garfield's Tales of Scary Stuff.

It all began quite innocently in this quaintest of homes

in this typical suburban neighborhood.

Once a week, John Arbuckle would do the laundry.

One day, he noticed something odd.

Suddenly, he saw it.

[dramatic music]

- Garfield, why is my washing machine

full of vegetable beef soup?

- Shh, I have a cheese souffle in the dryer.

For the next three weeks,

John Arbuckle kept finding barley in his pocket.

He finally decided it was time to get a new washer.

- Here's an ad for a used washing machine.

Will sell for practically anything.

- How about $50 for it?



- Why are you so eager to get rid of it?

- Eager? I'm not eager.

No, there's nothing wrong with it.

I mean, it's not like there's a monster from another planet

living in it or something.

[laughs]

- Well, I wanna pay you a fair price for it.

- [Mrs. Fesenblatt] Here, just take it.

[mysterious music]

- [Garfield] That first day John did the wash

the way he'd always done it.

He put in nine shirts, three pairs of pants,

and 10 pairs of socks.

[clock ticking]

An hour later, he came back and found

six shirts, two pair of pants, and seven pair of socks.

[mysterious music]

The following week, John did his laundry again.

This time he put in the six shirts, the two pairs of pants,

and seven pairs of socks.

When his laundry was done, he came back and found

three shirts, one pair of pants, and three pair of socks.

None of which matched.

The following week, he put it all in and got back

one shirt, no pairs of pants,

and one red sock and one blue sock.

The following week, he washed everything in his closet

and he got back no shirt, no pants, no socks and one girdle.

He couldn't understand it.

- Gee, it's almost like the washer is eating my laundry,

[laughs]

but of course that's ridiculous.

[laughs]

- [Garfield] And it was then that he heard it.

- [Monster] More socks.

- [Garfield] Or thought he heard it.

That night, everything was quiet in the house.

Not a creature was stirring, except whatever it was.

[mysterious music]

John was down to his last pair of jammies

as he settled in for the night.

[yawning]

[monster making noises]

- Garfield!

- Whatever it was, I didn't do it.

I didn't eat it.

I don't know anything about it.

- Garfield, my sheets,

and that thing, it's in the blanket,

and it was there, and my pajamas.

- We're having John closed captioned next week.

Meanwhile, the loyal but hollow-domed dog

had picked up the scent for something.

- It's, it's down there.

- [Garfield] Arbuckle was scared to go down there

and who could blame him, besides me I mean.

What do you do?

Finally, the brave, heroic cat decided

he had to take decisive action.

Okay, Odie.

[sighs]

I'm through being Mr. Nice Cat,

you're going down to the cellar whether you like it or not.

[crashing]

Okay, finally the courageous cat

reached the bottom of the stairs,

and that was when he saw it.

Whatever it was.

[creepy music]

[chewing]

- You wanna cuff?

Tasty.

- [Garfield] You eat clothing?

- Sure.

Shirts, socks, jackets.

I really like jackets.

I used to eat a lot of sweaters,

but you know how fattening they can be.

Now pants, I really like pants.

Except corduroys.

They get caught in my teeth.

- [Garfield] The creature explained that he lived

in a washing machine feeding on laundry.

Now, he had happened upon

where John's stored his old clothes

and he was feasting until he found

John's old plaid leisure suit and took a bite.

- Ugh.

Phew.

That's awful.

Try to poison me will you.

I'd like natural foods.

Cotton and wool.

None of this processed polyester stuff.

I shall have to find someplace else to dine.

- [Garfield] And with that, he was gone.

At first, they all wondered

if perhaps they'd dreamed it all,

but the next day it was on the news.

An epidemic of clothing disappearing.

No one knew what was causing it.

No one but the photogenic cat and his so-called master

who was now wearing the only thread of clothing

the creature had left behind,

but when they told the mayor what they knew,

she didn't believe a word of it.

- A monster who lives in a washing machine

and eats clothes?

Ridiculous.

Ms. Ocamera, send in the special

clothing theft task force please.

I've appointed this city's finest officers

to apprehend the clothing thief

and I am confident they'll solve this.

- The special task for reportin' for duty sir or ma'am.

- Tell me about that monster in the washing machine again.

- [Garfield] It was then that the cunning cat

revealed his brilliant plan.

She gave orders for every man in town

to be dressed the same way.

- That's right.

I said plaid leisure suits.

Everyone.

- [Garfield] The mayor's order was carried out

and within three hours,

the creature from the washing machine was starving.

[smacking]

- Oh, oh.

There's nothing in this town for me to eat.

[grumbling]

- [Garfield] Some people reported

seeing a flying saucer leaving.

Whatever his means of departure, the fact is,

the washing machine creature was never seen again.

John got a new wardrobe and the brave cat

got a reward for saving the day.

- Here's your dinner, Garfield.

- [Garfield] Highly comedic.

[smack]

The end of our story?

Perhaps, but if you should ever find

two socks in your laundry that don't match,

well it could be just a silly mistake,

but it could also be one of

[woman screaming]

Garfield's Tales of Scary Stuff.

Boy, I love what they do with that echo thing there.

[snoring]

As a joke, I've tied John's shoelaces together,

and as an extra special bonus joke,

I attached the rope to the shoelaces.

The other end of the rope is attached to an airliner

on its way to Italy.

[plane taking off]

Bring back pizza.

[upbeat music]

- So anyway, like I found this recipe

and I wasn't sure if it said

cook at 300 degrees for 30 minutes

or 30 degrees for like 300 minutes.

Oh, and then I found this can with no label on it

and I was gonna make whatever was in it for dinner,

but it turned out to be like tennis ba*ls, man.

- Bo, any chance of getting food tonight?

- Or before Thanksgiving?

- Ah, I am perishing for want of food.

I am wasting away to nothingness.

- Hey, great art takes time, man.

- Bo is the slowest cook in the world.

- Okay.

That's it. Rooster's had enough.

Bo, what are you making for us that's taking so long.

- Spaghetti, man.

First strand's almost done.

- You're making it one strand at a time?

- Okay, well like I want it to come out right, man.

Next, maybe I'll make a meatball.

[yelling]

[playful music]

- You can all stay here and starve,

but I'm gonna do something about this.

- Here Wado, you get the first strand.

- Do we have any Parmesan cheese?

- Parmesan cheese?

Uh, like I'll go see if I have a recipe for it, man.

- What do you think Roy's up to?

- Usually I'd be worried,

but right now I'm too hungry to worry.

[Wade slurping]

How was the strand?

- Mmm, al dente.

Could I have seconds, please?

[upbeat music]

[hammering]

[sawing]

[hammering]

- [Bo] I'm startin' on the garlic toast.

- Fine, we'll be back in a week or so for it.

I am so hungry.

- A crumb. A crumb.

My kingdom for a crumb.

- Look!

- Now open for business.

Roy's Rapid Restaurant for the fastest food on two legs.

- Roy's built a fast food place.

- Food.

I remember food.

Uh huh, I've actually eaten food.

[boing]

- What are we waitin' for?

[revving]

- One at a time please.

I only have one stool.

- There's only one fair way to do this.

- Absolutely.

- [All] I'll go first.

No, I'll go first.

- Each of you has to pick a number between one and ten.

- Six.

- Three.

- Number was nine, I go first.

Sorry to do that guys,

but you're looking at a desperate pig.

- Welcome to Roy's Rapid Restaurant,

where you get high velocity food at a low low price.

What'll you have?

- Could I have a menu?

- Menus take too long. What'll you have?

- Well I'll have some

- Sorry, all out of it.

- Well, how 'bout a couple a

- That was yesterday's special.

- Then, I think I'll have

- Maybe next week, sorry.

- Give me a menu.

- Okay, here's a menu. Hurry.

- This menu is in shorthand.

Let me have a bowl of soup.

Ah, nice hot soup.

- Soup's over. Time for salad.

Here's your salad.

Salad's over. Next course.

Corn on the cob.

[crunch]

- This corn is still frozen.

- Cooking takes time.

You want some dessert?

- Yes.

- We don't have time for dessert.

Here's your check. I'll keep the change.

Thank you. Hope you enjoyed your meal.

Come again.

[door slams]

- How was dinner, Orson?

- What'd you have?

- I had, I had,

yeah, I don't remember what I had.

I don't think I got any food.

- Well, it's my turn now and I am famished-ed.

One side.

- Wade, you sound so brave.

- Hunger makes a duck do strange things, Booker.

All right, it's suppertime!

- How was what? - Well, how was it?

- Your meal.

- I didn't have it yet. - You didn't like it?

- I didn't eat it. - You don't like my cooking?

- I love your cooking.

- You don't mean that.

- Yes, I love your cooking.

- Good, here's your check.

[slams door]

- Geez, such small portions.

[laughing]

- Ooh, what a racket.

- This place could be very good for a person's diet.

- It's my turn.

Watch this.

I'll get some food.

[door slams]

I didn't get any food.

- That's it.

We paid for food and we're entitled to it.

- [All] Roy, give us some food.

Please.

- Hey, it's getting away.

- Moving to a new location.

- [All] Come back here.

Come on.

- Where did he go?

- There he is.

- [Egg] I'm hungry, but Bo's such a slow cook.

I wish we had a restaurant around here.

- Boy, that's service.

Let's go.

It's gone.

- [Egg] Well, you know how the economy is these days.

Businesses just come and go.

- Did you guys see a fast food restaurant around here?

- Nah, I think it went that way.

- Thank you kindly.

- Is that what they mean by fast food?

- [Egg] Guess so.

[playful music]

- [Orson] There it is.

- [Roy] Uh oh.

[boing]

He he.

I'm lucky that haystack was there.

[crashing]

- We caught you, Roy.

- Right, and now you're gonna feed us.

We paid you already.

Ah, just try it.

Nobody can eat fast enough to get a crumb

in Roy's Rapid Restaurant.

- He's right.

- What are we gonna do?

- I have an idea.

This calls for a cameo guest star.

What's the area code for the other half of the show?

- Ah, they'll never get any food out of this restaurant.

No one can eat fast enough to, oh no.

That's his theme music.

Oh no, it's him.

[playful music]

I'm doomed.

[door slams]

- Oh, let's see how he's doin'.

[Roy laughing nervously]

- Oh no, oh now.

[crunch]

[swallowing]

[Roy whining]

- Well, I think Roy'll be outta the restaurant business

in about, ah in about 50,000 calories.

- Gee, gosh.

It seems cruel and unusual.

- And we still didn't get any food.

- Don't worry.

I thought of a solution to that problem.

We'll all chip in and get Bo a microwave.

- Hey, what a great idea.

Microwaves cook food in seconds.

Plus they are neat.

- Terrific thought, Orson.

- First course is ready, man.

- [Orson] What are we havin', Bo?

- Peas.

Let me know if this is too well done, man,

and I'll like start on another pronto.

- Well, it could be worse.

He could makin' rice.

Ooh.

[upbeat music]

- Afternoon, Mr. Post.

[yelling]

- It's you, Mr. Arbuckle.

Sorry, I thought it was your cat, well, you know.

Here's your mail.

- Thank you, Mr. Post.

[murmuring]

[yells]

This bill from the credit card company is ridiculous.

How could I spend $300 on uncooked spaghetti?

- [Garfield] Wait til we get the bill for the meat sauce.

- There's only one thing to do.

- [Garfield] You're gonna give me a haircut?

- I'm cutting up my credit cards.

From now on, I pay cash for everything I buy.

If I don't have the cash, I don't buy it.

- [Garfield] Gosh, seems kinda unAmerican.

- I'll throw the pieces away

and what happened to my waste basket?

- [Garfield] I don't know.

It was fine last night when I did

my three hour impression of Ricky Ricardo.

[drumming]

♪ Babaloo, babaloo

- Well, this is a good time to start my all cash policy.

Let's go buy a new wastebasket.

Come on guys.

Guys?

[Sighs]

I'll wait.

We'll go to that new mall.

Here we are.

Entrance to mall.

Level eight full, use level nine.

This section theater parking only.

There doesn't seem to be a space on this level.

I'll try one up.

- [Garfield] Wake me when you find a space

or we stop for gas, whichever occurs first.

- [John] This is my space.

I made it.

- [Announcer] Please remember you are in aisle K,

level 17, blue section.

- Aisle K, level 17, blue.

- [Garfield] Better write it down.

- I know, you think I should write it down,

but when I get a fact in my head,

you know what happens to it?

- [Garfield] It dies of loneliness.

Wave goodbye to the car, Odie.

We'll never see it again as long as we live.

[barks]

- Aisle K, level 17, blue.

- CJ says she's 19, but when she wears green,

- Aisle K, level 17, blue.

- She's been saying she's 19 for 12 years.

She's too yellow to level with you.

- Aisle K, level 17 blue.

- I'm going to tell her ASAP

that if she doesn't quit the PTA, I'm going to see red.

- Aisle, uh, uh.

[ding]

Aisle, aisle, I'll be looking

for the car for awhile I guess,

but right now, I'm gonna find a new black wastebasket.

- [Garfield] Come on, Odie.

Let's go find somethin' edible.

[panting]

- Wastebasket World.

This looks like it.

- Step up folks.

Try a free sample of Murray's Microwave Macaroni.

Yes sir, here's your free sample.

Hey, bring that back.

[wheels squeaking]

[crash]

- [Garfield] You said they were free.

Come on, Odie.

I'm not lettin' free food get away that easily.

- One star for a black deluxe model.

That will be $9.47.

- Here you go.

- What is that?

- That's cash.

[laughs]

- Very funny, sir.

Now, could I please have your credit card?

- I don't have a credit card.

I cut all mine up.

[gasps]

- You did what to them?

- I cut them up.

Now, would you please take this money

and let me have my change?

- Uh, just, just one moment, sir.

This is highly unusual.

He wants to pay with cash.

No, I never heard of such a thing either.

[whistling]

All right, I'll stall him while you call the police.

Just one moment, sir.

Hurry, he may be dangerous.

- Free samples.

Free samples of Murry's Microwave Macaroni.

One to a customer.

[Odie grumbling]

- [Garfield] You're wondering

what happens if the line breaks?

- Mm-hmm.

- [Garfield] Don't worry.

I can figure out some other way to get the macaroni.

[whining]

- Free samples.

Step right up.

Free sample, ma'am?

Certainly.

[Odie grumbling]

- Cat, give me back that fishing outfit.

[reel spinning]

- What are you doin' here, dog?

[slurp]

- [Garfield] He's a little small.

You think I should throw him back?

[crash]

Okay, I'm through kiddin' around.

Time for the heavy a*tillery.

- Now, let's go through this one more time Arbuckle.

Where are your credit cards?

[gasps]

- I told you. I cut them up.

- Come on, fella.

You can do better than that.

- I'm telling you. I don't have any credit cards.

I just wanted a wastebasket.

That's all.

Just a wastebasket.

[crying]

- This just came back from the lab, chief.

They ran every test on it.

- What'd they find out?

- No doubt about it they say.

It's money.

- Money, huh?

- The green stuff. - Moola.

- Cabbage. - Mazuma.

- Somolians. - Long green.

- You bet.

- Okay, Arbuckle. You can go.

- Can I have my wastebasket?

- Here, but I'm keeping my eye on you fella.

So watch it.

- [Garfield] You just skate down and grab some macaroni.

- [Odie] Uh-uh.

- [Garfield] They're not dangerous.

You just get on it like this.

and push yourself forward like this.

See, simple?

[Odie yells]

- [Garfield] Help.

Going down.

Somebody, anybody.

This was not a good idea.

Beep, beep.

Bonsai.

Hot dogging cat coming through.

Help.

- Wah!

- Free samples.

Macaroni.

[slurps]

- [Garfield] What a lousy last meal.

All I need now is for John to come up and yell, Garfield.

- Garfield.

- [Garfield] That was all I needed.

- Whatever he did, I'll pay for it.

Here.

- What is that?

[yells]

- That's it. I give up.

Where do I get a credit card?

Give me applications for every credit card in the place.

You guys might as well walk home.

Here, take all my cash.

I'll never use it again.

- [Garfield] Come on, Odie.

We'll stop off and pick up a pizza or nine for dinner.

[upbeat music]

Don't worry.

John'll be home soon.

How could he forget

that the car's in aisle K, level 17, blue section?

- Maybe it was aisle J, level 19, green section?

Or was it aisle A, level 13, orange section?

No, it was aisle H, level 14, plaid section.

No, aisle G, level,

is this the right parking garage?

Okay.

[upbeat music]

♪