04x10 - Galactic Gamesman Garfield/Sly Spy Guy/The Thing That Stayed Forever

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen: Garfield and Friends. [drumroll]

♪ We're we're ♪

♪ ready ready ♪

♪ to to ♪

♪ party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta, romancing, siesta ♪

♪ Samba, la bamba, ay caramba

♪ Disguises disguises ♪

♪ surprises surprises ♪

♪ And pies of and pies of ♪

♪ all sizes

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Garfield and friends

- [Garfield] Welcome to my world.

Did you bring food?

[upbeat, fast-paced music]

[eerie music]

- Oh, watch out, yahoo!

Got him, now, here comes the next wave.

Bam, bam, got 'em all. [laughing]

Oh, I just beat my own high score.

Here we go.

Uh oh, more Martians.

But I'll blast them, too.

- [Garfield] What a waste of a perfectly good TV set.

- 52,000 points, yahoo!

I'm gonna go check on dinner.

- [Garfield] Good, do somethin' constructive with your time.

- My stomach's bothering me again.

I hope I'm not coming down with something.

- [Garfield] Oh, Jon's been wasting his time

playing video games instead of cooking.

What nerve.

Is there anything dumber in this world than video games?

Besides, you, I mean.

[Odie whines]

You sit in front of the TV, and you move a little stick,

and you try to sh**t down invaders from space.

Hey, look, I got one.

You wanna try it?

[Odie barks]

Hey, lemme get that big one.

I think that's a cargo carrier from Pluto.

Got it!

Look, a squadron of moon people.

[Odie yips]

Not now, I just wiped out the Uranus monsters.

- [Odie] Hm?

- Okay, Garfield, dinner's on.

- [Garfield] Ooh, here come more moon men.

I hate those moon men.

Ah, got 'em with the laser phosphor blaster.

- Garfield, I said dinner's on.

Hurry up, I'm not feeling well.

- [Garfield] I got one, two, three, four.

That's all of 'em!



- Garfield?

Garfield, your dinner is getting cold.

- [Garfield] Ha, blasted the meteor monsters.

That takes me to the next wave and 10,000 more points.

Oh no, more meteor monsters.

- Garfield, dinner is ready.

- [Garfield] Those meteor monsters are sneaky.

- Garfield, it's lasagna.

- [Garfield] Yes, I got one more meteor monster.

- Lasagna with meat sauce and extra cheese.

Plus, I got those breadsticks you like.

- [Garfield] And another, and another.

- Okay, I'll let Odie eat yours.

- [Garfield] Here comes the Venusian caterpillar!

Got him, got him before he turned into a Martian butterfly.

[crickets chirping]

- Gee, my stomach hurts something awful.

I hope I'm better tomorrow.

Goodnight, Odie.

[yawns]

[video game blasters firing]

Odie, do you hear something?

- [Odie] Hm?

- [Garfield] 85,000 points,

and I blasted all the moths of Mercury.

- Garfield, go to bed.

- [Garfield] Oh, wait, one more moth.

Got him!

[Odie whines]

There's the scorpion!

I knew it was lurking!

Here come more asteroids and,

what's this?

Wha? Hey! What's this?

A Venusian trick?

- Garfield, go to bed.

- [Garfield] Come on, come on, I gotta save the galaxy!

There are Martian ants I have to exterminate.

- No more video games tonight, Garfield.

My stomach's hurting something awful,

and I need my sleep.

Go to bed.

Come on, Odie, let's get some sleep.

- Not fair!

I was up to 200,093 points!

Speaking of stomachs, mine is empty.

Jon forgot to make dinner.

I'll just fix myself a small snack.

Just a small snack.

I'm stuffed.

I'm sure glad I didn't have a huge snack.

Oh, maybe I could just exterminate

a few more Neptunian c*ck, nah, I better not.

Okay, but tomorrow I'm blasting those

Martian amoeba impersonators.

[sighs] I wish I could play my game [yawns] a little more.

Just a little more.

- Oh, my stomach.

Oh, it really hurts.

[Odie whines]

[phone beeping]

- Emergency service?

[Odie barks]

There's a dog on the phone, but it sounds urgent.

I'm gonna trace the call.

- [Garfield] Space creatures.

Gotta blast 'em.

Gotta blast the seaweed from Saturn.



- By the great bird of the galaxy,

the hordes of Andromeda 11 are attacking!

- Our defenses are useless against them.

The universe is doomed.

And it's the only universe we've got.

- Our only chance is

Space Trooper Garfield!

[electronic bell rings] [Garfield whooshes]

- [Garfield] Space Trooper Garfield reporting.

- [Video Game Men] Garfield, only you can save us

from the cosmic invaders.

The future of the galaxy is in the balance.

- [Garfield] Piece of cake, sirs.

To launch, insert 50 cents.

[engine whirring]

Good thing I had exact change,

or the galaxy'd be in big trouble.

Here they come.

[missiles firing]

There go the gnats from Neptune

and the moon monsters, got 'em.

[siren wails]

More Venusian beetles.

I'll use my lasers on 'em.

[rapping on door] - [EMT] Hello, anybody in there?

[Odie barks]

[rapping on door]

Nobody's answerin'.

We must have the wrong house or somethin'.

[Odie barking]

- I'm up to 57,000 points,

but I haven't saved the universe yet.

I have to play my game.

- Guess we got the wrong house.

Let's go.

[video game missiles firing]

- Here they come. I'll blast 'em.

If I blast all the Plutonian wasps,

I get 50,000 more points.

- Come on, let's go.

[Odie barks and howls]

- Oh, my stomach.

- Looks like appendicitis.

Let's get the stretcher.

[Odie barks and whines]

- Huh?

- You're in the hospital, Mr. Arbuckle.

We had to take your appendix out.

- My appendix?

- Yes, I'm afraid it was inflamed.

But we got it out in time,

thanks to an emergency call from your dog here.

- Odie, you saved my life!

[Odie barks softly]

I'll be okay, Doctor?

- Oh, in a week, you'll be just like new.

Take a look at this screen here.

We're monitoring your entire system on it.

- [Garfield] Oh, I just blasted a kidney.

And there's a pancreas, got it!

Oh, here come more of those red corpuscles.

I'll use my laser and,

liver?

Yuck, I'll get 'em!

[both munching loudly]

[dishes clatter]

[both growling]

- Ha ha, I win!

- [Garfield] I'm so proud of Jon.

I taught him everything he knows about gluttony.

[joyful music]

♪

- [grunting] I know it's here somewhere.

It didn't just get up and walk away.

- Something missing, Orson?

- [Orson] I was in the middle of reading

this great spy novel, and now I can't find it.

- Hm, perhaps someone hid it.

- Roy, did you hide my spy novel?

- Me, hide your spy novel?

That would be a sneaky, rotten,

nasty, despicable thing to do.

- And you did it.

- Of course I did it.

You've been so busy with that book

that you haven't been getting your work done.

There's corn to be shucked.

The tractor needs to be fixed.

There's grain in the loft to be moved to the silo.

More important things for you to do

than read some dumb spy novel.

- Why don't you do some of them?

- Not my job.

I'm in charge of wake-up calls.

- Ooh, that rooster makes me so angry sometime.

I wish I had my spy novel.

I'll bet a top-notch spy could find my spy novel.

[yawns] Gee, this mud is so comfy.

I could almost have a dream sequence.

[dramatic music]

♪ You're always undercover

♪ There-- - Stop!

We've all heard the theme song before.

Could we just speed through this?

♪ You can trust [audio screeching]

♪ Cream pie

- Thank you.

Odd, I was certain W told me to meet him at this corner.

- [W] Yes, be a good chap, and don't lean on me,

Double-O-Orson.

- [laughing] The old hiding-inside-the-mailbox

routine again, W?

- Yes, quite.

And don't think it's easy

gettin' into one of these things.

I had to get weighed and stamped.

But here are your instructions, Double-O-Orson.

Memorize them, and then swallow them.

This is a mission of the direst importance.

The future of the world may hang in the balance.

My word, you memorized those instructions already?

- You mean I was supposed to [gulps] memorize them first?

- All right, all right.

I will give 'em to you this way.

Take down my every word.

You are to go to the newsstand at Park Avenue and Ninth,

and ask for Vinnie.

He will identify you by the codename Gemstone,

whereupon he will give you the attache case

and the plane tickets to Zurich.

You are to leave the attache case in locker 478

at the airport, and catch a boat to Greenland,

reclining in the ninth deck chair on the starboard side.



you will jump ship and be picked up in a helicopter

by a man who will give you the password earlobe.

He will transport you to East Moline, Illinois,

where you will be disguised as a parrot

and will run for the state senate.

Now do you have any questions?

- Just one.

Do you have a pen?

Mine seems to be all out of ink.

- That is it.

I have had enough, enough, I say.

You, Double-O-Orson, are fired.

- Fired?

- Fired, washed up, kaput, forcibly resigned,

dismissed, discharged, you're outta here.

- Fired, me?

- And turn in your trench coat.

- After all those years of service,

to be discarded like the pickles on some cheap hamburger.

- Red queen on the black eight,

black nine on the red ace.

[laughs] You can tell I am ze bad guy.

I cheat at solitaire.

- Monsieur Pinfeather, I have seen it with my own eyes.

Double-O-Orson has been fired.

- Fired?

- Fired, axed, dismissed, let go, dumped.

- I wonder if he would come work for me.

A clever operative like Double-O-Orson

could be valuable.

[computer beeps] - Ja, you called?

- I need you, Madam Lanolin, for a special assignment.

How soon can you be here?

- Is this soon enough?

- What kept you?

Agent Double-O-Orson has been fired.

- Fired?

- Fired, ousted, suspended, shelved, displaced.

I want you to find out if he is truly fired.

If he is, recruit him for my evil organization.

- And if he is not?

- Eliminate him.

- It was so good of you to agree to meet me for dinner,

Double-O-Orson.

- Chocolate milk, shaken, not stirred.

I'm afraid I no longer am Agent Double-O-Orson.

I was fired.

- I feel I can trust you, Orson.

Would you like to come to work for Pinfeather?

- Work for that villain?

Work for the scum of the earth?

- It pays big bucks.

- Well, a fella has to eat.

- Come with me.

I will take you to Pinfeather's secret hideout.

[engine revving]

- Ah, the former Double-O-Orson.

Welcome to my secret hideout.

I was so sorry to hear that you had been fired.

- Fired?

- Fired, banished, bounced, evicted, drummed out.

- I'm sorry to disappoint you,

but I am still Agent Double-O-Orson.

- You are?

- Yes, and my current assignment was

to locate your secret hideout, which I seem to have done.

You see, you fell for our act when W pretended to fire me.

- We have been hoodwinked!

- My ninjas!

Where are my ninjas?

Destroy him several times!

- You forgot to search me

for a concealed custard, Pinfeather.

[dramatic, fast-paced music] [pies splatting]

[splat, splat, splat]

I know how to find out where Roy hid my spy novel.

♪ I am a rooster, a handsome rooster ♪

- [Wade] Why is it so important to find your spy novel?

- Because, Wade, I hid $20 in that book,

and I certainly don't want Roy to find it.

- 20 smackers in the book?

I shoulda looked inside it before I hid it.

I know I put it somewhere in here.

Eureka!

$20, where are you?

Where are you hiding?

Come to daddy Roy.

Orson hid the money in here.

I heard it with my very own ears,

which being a rooster, I don't have.

Hey, say, I'm getting a sudden sinking feeling.

Help!

[Roy and book thud]

- Why, Roy, you found my book.

How nice of you.

I'll reward you after you finish shoveling

all this grain you spilled into the silo.

- Me?

[stammering] W-w-work?

- Nice work, Agent Double-O-Orson.

But is it all right that you dumped all the grain like that?

- Roy will put it away.

And besides, W, I have a license to spill.

[joyful music]

- Whoo, that was quite a game of tennis.

- [Garfield] That was quite a plate of ribs.

[Odie whining]

I said no.

All right, all right, you can lick my fingers.

This happens every time I eat ribs.

- Oh, I got one message on my answering machine.

I'm gonna take a shower and then grab a nap.

I'm so tired I couldn't move if my life depended on it.

[machine beeps]

- [Ed] Hi, Jonny boy. This is your Uncle Ed.

I'm in town, I thought I'd drop by

and stay with you for a while.

- Uncle Ed? [screaming]

Quick, turn off all the lights.

No, put a sign on the door saying we have measles.

No, a sign saying we've moved.

No, maybe a sign saying we've moved and have measles.

We'll go to Peru.

No, that's too close, he might find us.

Oh my, no, board up the door.

Maybe I should just sell the house.

- [Garfield] You know, Muttsky, if I didn't know better

I'd say Jon isn't too thrilled about having Uncle Ed visit.

[hammer banging]

[Jon panting]

- Whew, that oughta do it.

Oh, hi Uncle Ed. [laughs]

Don't worry, that'll keep ya from gettin' in here.

I'm gonna go take that shower.

Uncle Ed? [Ed belches]

Uh, I, ooh.

- Hiya, Jonny!

I didn't think you'd mind if I let myself in.

Cute little welcoming stunt, here.

- [laughing] Yeah, cute, yeah, mm hmm.

- Now I'm not gonna be able to stay that long.

I only brought enough luggage for a short stay.

They're gonna deliver the rest of it later.

- Gee, it's gonna be great having you here, Uncle Ed.

- Hey, I wanna give my favorite nephew a hug, come on.

Great to see you, Jonny. - No, no, no, it's okay.

Ooh, don't, ah, ooh, stop.

I'll go get dinner started.

Roast beef.

- You made my favorite, Jonny boy.

Delicious, this is good, but I like medium rare better.

- [Garfield] There was food here a minute ago.

I saw it.

- Mashed potatoes.

[plate shattering]

- [mumbling] Oh, mashed potatoes.

- You didn't even wait for the gravy.

- Gravy?

I love gravy.

[gulping]

- [Garfield] Can we have some money?

We're goin' to a hotel until he leaves.

- I know what you're thinking, Garfield.

- [Garfield] Yep, same thing you're thinking.

- Uncle Ed is my uncle, and he's welcome in this house

as long as he likes.

I'm sure he won't stay

too long.

[Ed snoring loudly]

[lullaby music]

Our favorite movie is on TV right now, guys.

- Sit down and watch.

It's a 19-hour documentary on aluminum foil.

Oh, thanks!

[crunching loudly]

Can I have the next batch with more butter?

- I have 10 pizzas.

- [Garfield] Those are mine.

- With anchovies?

- [Garfield] Those aren't mine.

- Those are mine. [laughing]

Oh, my nephew will pay you for them later.

- Don't worry, Garfield.

He's gonna leave, soon.

♪ Deck us all with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la

- [Garfield] "Don't worry, Garfield.

"He's gonna leave, soon."

Yeah, right.

- I can't throw him out now, it's Christmas.

- [Garfield] You couldn't throw him out on Easter.

You couldn't throw him out on Labor Day.

- You know nephew, I was just thinkin' of leaving,

but you've been so nice to me,

I just may stick around for a few more months.

Or, or years.

[Jon growls]

Hey, and could you serve prime rib more often for dinner?

Oh, and would you mind repainting the house?

I'm tired of this color.

[Jon growls]

- [Garfield] Uh oh, Odie.

Looks like Jon's about to blow.

Here he comes.

- Get him outta here!

I can't take it anymore! [screaming]

Oh, Garfield, please, if you can get rid of him,

I'll give you anything you want.

- [Garfield] Anything?

- Anything.

- [Garfield] Come on, Odie.

We have an unwanted relative to get rid of.

- [Odie] [barking] Aye, aye.

- [Garfield] Chocolate sauce, chicken rice soup,

creamed asparagus, raisins, hot sauce,

liverwurst, horseradish.

- [Odie] Hmm?

- [Garfield] Bubble gum!

Excellent idea.

Wait'll Uncle Ed gets a taste of dinner tonight.

- [Jon] Here's your, uh, dinner, Uncle Ed.

- Well, thank you, Jonny boy.

[slurping]

- [Garfield] You're looking at something historic, Odie.

Food that even I wouldn't eat.

Any second now...

[Ed stammering]

[gum explodes]

- Hey, that was terrific, Jonny.

You finally learned how to cook [chuckles].

Now I'm gonna stay longer for sure.

- Well, that worked rather well.

Any other ideas?

- [Garfield] Don't give up.

I'll get rid of him if it's the last thing you do.

I've adjusted the springs in Uncle Ed's hammock.

Next time he jumps into it,

it'll catapult him into the next ZIP code.

- One side, cat.

[laughs] It's hammock time!

Whoa!

- For the first time in months,

I can sit in my own chair and watch my own TV.

[ceiling crashes]

- Hey, that's right.

That show I wanted to see about carpet tacks is on now.

Oh, wait, I need a snack.

- [Garfield] Okay, Odie.

I'm through bein' Mr. Nice Cat.

Time to play dirty.

This isn't gonna be pretty, but it has to be done.

[dial tone hums]

Maybe I better let Jon make this call

since he can talk.

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, goody.

That must be the Chinese food I've ordered. [laughing]

[stammering] Edna!

- That's right, Edna.

You remember my name?

- I've just been visiting our nephew here, dear--

- And probably eating him out of house and home,

and runnin' out on the diet I had ya on.

- But Edna, I--

- Don't "but Edna" me.

You're comin' home and goin' back

on 6,000 calories a day, Ed Arbuckle.

- Garfield, you did it!

You got rid of him!

Well, I promised you anything if you did it,

and you did it.

What would you like?

Luigi's Lasagna Delivery.

Chow's Chinese Takeout.

Taco Express.

Which one of these do you, you want all of 'em.

[joyful music]

I think I was better off with Uncle Ed.

[upbeat theme music]

♪