05x10 - Cute for Loot/The Caverns of Cocoa/Dream Date

[bunniefuu]

- [Announcer] Ladies and Gentlemen. Garfield and Friends.

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♪ And pies of

♪ And pies of all sizes

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♪ Garfield and Friends

- [Garfield] Reproduction of the accounts

and descriptions of this cartoon show

is prohibited.

["Garfield and Friends Theme"]

[whimsical music]

Oh I'll put in some of this

and all of this

and a few more slices of this

and lots of this

and more of this

and I don't even know what this is

but it's in, and this.

There it is.

The perfect sandwich.

And I have to eat it.

- [Jon] Garfield.

Nermal is here.

- [Garfield] Lost my appetite.

I'm gonna control myself.

- [Nermal] What's wrong, Garfield?

Aren't you happy to see

the world's cutest kitty cat?

[groaning]

I know.

You can't believe

how much more adorable I've gotten

since my last visit.

[angry groaning]

Oh and I've learned a new trick.

See?

I lie on my back

and look like I want my tummy rubbed.

[yelling]

- [Garfield] That's it!

- [Nermal] Uh, Garfield

where are we going?

Garfield? Garfield?

Garfield, I don't like it in here.

Garfield!

[Egyptian music]

- To Abu Dhabi.

Please bend and fold.

Must be that cute kitten again.

[doorbell rings]

- [Jon] I'll get it.

- [Garfield] You'll get it.

- [Jon] Yeah?

Is that package for.

Garfield!

- [Garfield] He brought the package back.

I knew I should have put stamps on it.

- [Nermal] I'm back!

I'm going into the kitchen and get my steak.

- [Garfield] I don't care what you do.

I don't. I. Steak?

[cheerful humming]

- [Nermal] Garfield!

Garfield, that's not right.

- [Garfield] True.

I usually prefer medium rare.

But it will do.

Where'd you get this steak, Nermal?

- [Nermal] The mailman gave it to me

because I'm so adorable.

- [Garfield] You mean people just give you things

for being cute?

- [Nermal] Sure.

Don't they give you things?

- [Garfield] No.

- [Nermal] Come on!

I'll show you.

[upbeat music]

When you're as cute as I am

people just want to give you things.

Watch.

- [Garfield] This is ridiculous.

People aren't gonna

[tires screeching]

- [Woman] Why look at that adorable

cute kitty cat.

Here's a seven course gourmet dinner for you

cute kitty cat.

[car engine humming]

- [Nermal] Here, I'll show it to you again.

- [Man] Well, look at that incredible

cute kitty cat.

Here's a $50 savings bond, incredible cute kitty cat.

- [Garfield] I don't believe it.

- [Nermal] Once I got a matched set of luggage.

A trip to Rio.

And the Klopman Diamond.

- [Garfield] Wow.

If you can do it

I can do it.

One side.

Watch this.

[engines roaring]

[car horn blasting]

I am not giving up.

I'm sitting right here

until someone stops and gives me something.

- [Nermal] Two thousand

three hundred

and 10.

And.

- [Garfield] Hey, are you sure your count is accurate?

- [Nermal] That's not counting the tour bus of animal lovers

that sped up when they saw you.

- [Garfield] I am going to get someone to stop

and give me something

if it's the last thing you ever do.

See! See! He stopped.

- [Man] Here.

Throw this away, would ya?

- [Woman] That poor cat.

He looks so

so uncute.

- [Man] That's a cat?

Coulda fooled me.

- [Garfield] Okay.

So I'm not cute enough to get free stuff.

But I'm not missing out on the goodies.

- [Nermal] Where are we going, Garfield?

Where are you taking me?

- [Garfield] You'll see.

[polka music]

- Now who could that be?

Well what have we here?

My name is Nermal.

I am a cute kitten.

I eat lasagna.

Manicotti.

Rigatoni.

Linguini.

So on, so on, so on, so on.

Well, Nermal, since you're so cute.

I'll take you in and feed you.

- [Garfield] No, no, don't take him in.

Give him the food

so I can take it from him.

- Here I have more manicotti than I can finish by myself.

[Nermal moaning]

- [Nermal] That was delicious!

- [Garfield] Don't rub it in.

- [Nermal] He took me inside.

What could I do?

- [Garfield] At the next house

get the food and bring it out for me.

[sniffing]

Over there.

Thai cooking.

- I eat pad thai noodles.

Ginger shrimp.

Pork chow mein.

- [Garfield] With crispy noodles.

- Please give me lots of all this stuff to go.

No, you don't have to take it out, cute kitty.

I feed you inside.

[angry shrieking]

- [Garfield] Don't people know what it means

to eat out anymore?

She better not be giving him

those little dumpings with the stripes on 'em.

- [Woman] Here are those little dumplings

with the stripes on them.

[angry shrieking]

[gong crashing]

- [Nermal] It's not my fault

they won't give me the food

to give to you.

It was real good by the way.

- [Garfield] Shut up.

Okay.

I have a plan this time

to make sure that I get the eats instead of you.

[sniffing]

Barbecued ribs.

That way.

["Rock-A-Bye Baby"]

- Well.

Who left this here?

I'm a cute kitten.

Don't waste time.

Take me in and give me ribs.

Well. Okay.

You are a very cute kitten.

Probably the cutest kitten I've ever seen.

I'll take care of ya.

- [Garfield] Okay.

Hey, hey, hey.

- [Nermal] That's not very nice, Garfield.

- [Garfield] When ribs are involved

I'm not very nice.

Give me the bonnet.

Now scram.

- We have a visitor for dinner, Madison.

A cute kitten.

- [Garfield] What a terrific idea.

I finally found a use for Nermal.

- [Madison] You are a cute kitten.

There's only one thing to do with cute kittens.

Mail 'em to Abu Dhabi.

- [Garfield] Hello. You can't!

Stop! I'm not cute.

I'm really not cute.

I'm as not cute as they come.

And besides

this is my idea!

To Nermal cat.

Having a miserable time.

Wish you were here.

You know the worst part of this?

It isn't that I'm 7,000 miles from home.

It isn't that there's no decent Italian restaurant

in all of Abu Dhabi.

It's that the whole place

is full of cute kittens

people have mailed here.

["Three Blind Mice"]

Birds

in the mouse hole?

[birds chirping]

Something weird is going on here.

[mice squeaking]

This time share thing

is really gettin' out of hand.

["Garfield and Friends Theme"]

- [Orson] May 8th, 1932.

We have been working on the new mine

for nearly six weeks now

and there seems to be no end to the vane.

I can continually remind myself

what a lucky find this was

and how it should keep us well supplied

for years to come.

- Hey, what ya readin', Orson?

- Oh, it's my grandfather's diary.

I found it here with all his belongings.

- Does he say anything in there about my grandfather?

- Well, let me see.

Oh, here.

The only problem I have is that my colleague William Duck

is terrified nearly every hour.

- Help! Help, oh help!

It is a monster.

It is a terrible, ugly, hairy monster!

A monster such as you have never seen.

Help!

Save me from the monster.

Save!

- That is not a monster.

That is a mouse.

- Well it is

a rather large mouse.

- Yep!

That's my grandpa alright.

- Maybe we should all go see

if we can locate the mine up in the hills.

- All?

All as in including Roy?

h* h*, not I said the little red rooster.

- But Roy.

- Mining is hard work.

And if you think I'm gonna get calluses on my feathers

you've got another thing coming.

- What kind of mine is it, Orson?

- Well, let me see.

Imagine my surprise at discovering

the world's only chocolate mine.

- Chocolate mine?

- Chocolate mine?

- That's what it says.

Chocolate mine.

Too bad Roy doesn't want to go with us.

- Let's go! Let's go!

Non-stop to the chocolate mine.

[Roy laughs]

- Now according to this

the mine is up this way.

But boy, it's hot.

- Oh. Chocolate mine.

We're gonna find a chocolate mine.

- Roy, chocolate doesn't come from mines.

Chocolate is made out of cocoa beans and sugar and milk.

- Go on.

Be logical.

Stomp on a young rooster's life long dream.

- Boy, I feel just like my grandfather.

- You feel like a bold, intrepid miner?

- No, I feel like I passed away about 30 years ago.

Hoo hoo.

- Hey.

How come our brother's climbing a mountain?

- Somethin' doesn't smell right.

- Try bathing once in a while.

- I bathe every Halloween.

Whether I needs it or not.

- Come on you guys.

We gotta find out what our brother's up to.

- You smell like a pig.

- I am a pig.

- Well, maybe that's why you smell like one.

- I--

I cannot climb another inch.

- I can't wait 'til we find the chocolate.

- Roy.

Where is your knapsack?

- I put it in your's.

No point in both of us lugging these things up here.

- Oh yes.

[growling]

- Guys, come here!

According to my grandfather's diary.

His mine should be right here.

Behind these bushes.

Come on.

- I'll wait out here.

- There's an old shovel.

Somebody was digging in here.

- I can't wait.

- Well, you may have to.

It's a dead end.

- Wait. [sniffing]

You smell that? [sniffing]

Do you know what that smell is?

- It smells like

hot cocoa.

- It's chocolate!

One side, laughing boy.

I found the mother load!

Stay back and you won't get hurt.

- There can't be chocolate in this mine.

Can there?

Let me see what grandpa has to say about it.

Here it is.

June 9th, 1932.

I still do not understand

the existence of the chocolate in these mountains.

So I have engaged a chemist from a local village

to advise us.

- Hmmm.

It does appear to be chocolate alright.

- But I thought chocolate was made in a candy kitchen.

- Very astute. It is.

However, I have formulated a theory

as to why the impossible has happened here.

Would you take a gander up there please?

Someone year ago planned cacoa trees atop this mountain.

Trees ordinarily found in Africa and Middle America.

- Well, that is the tree

from which comes the cocoa bean.

- From which they make chocolate.

- Precisely.

Now this is just a theory on my part.

But supposing some fluke of nature occurred up there

say they were struck by lightning.

Perhaps electrically charged cocoa

was released into the ground

to combine with plants producing simple sugar.

- You think perhaps a one in a million chance?

- Well, it is just a theory.

But the chocolate appears to be fine.

And quite tasty I might add.

Go ahead and mine it.

Only you must stop and fill up the mine

before July 1st because.

- Orson, I found it!

I found it!

I've struck fudge!

Eureka and I reka!

We all reka!

- That is chocolate.

It's good chocolate too.

- The whole mountain is full of it.

And it's all ours for the mining.

- I'm not going in that cave.

Caves are full of bears

and spiders and pumas

and things with hair on them.

I had best keep a look out for vultures

and buzzards

and low flying commuter flights.

Let's see.

Gee, all I can see is a pair of ugly

bloodshot

beady eyes.

- Well that's funny

I see the same thing.

[babbling incoherently]

- Bye!

- Chocolate!

Lovely chocolate!

- Give me a hand with this, Roy.

- Tons of chocolate.

A whole mountain that's bad for your teeth.

- Now don't get too excited, Roy.

Something could still go wrong.

- What could go wrong?

- How about them showing up?

- That could be a problem. Yes.

- Let's see what kind of mine

[snorting]

our brother's been diggin'.

- Is it gold?

- Jewels?

[snorting]

- Better than that.

It's chocolate!

[yelling]

- Oh! My precious chocolate!

- Guys, if it's not too much trouble

could I have that book that's in there?

- Here.

- You wanna read at a time like this?

- I want to find out

why our ancestors said the mine had to be sealed up.

- Give me more chocolate.

- We've eaten it all.

- Let's go dig more in the mine.

[belching]

- Here it is.

- [Chemist] You must stop and seal up the mine

before July 1st because

- The hot July sun causes the chocolate to melt.

- Melt?

- What's today's date?

- July 1st.

[rumbling]

- Help!

[screaming]

- We gotta get outta here, Orson.

I have something important to do.

I have to find a whipped cream mine

so I can make the world's biggest hot fudge sundae.

Yahoo!

["Garfield and Friends Theme"]

[blues music]

[car door closes]

- [Garfield] Jon's home.

What time did he go out on his date?

Eight o'clock right.

And what time is it now?



yeah that's about right.

- Hi guys.

- [Garfield] Things just didn't work out with Abigail.

- Things just didn't work out with Abigail.

- [Garfield] What a surprise.

- If anyone needs me

I'll be in my room for the rest of my life.

- [Skip] Are you having trouble finding the perfect date?

Are you a miserable failure when it comes to finding a mate?

- [Garfield] Jon.

Talkin' about 'cha.

- Then come be a contestant on Dream Date

and let our romance-o-matic computer

find you a great date or mate

while you wait.

- I could go on that TV show.

And they might find me my ideal woman.

- Just call the number on your screen

for an appointment.

- I'm calling! I'm calling!

- Mr. Arbuckle.

Have you filled out your application?

- Uh, yes, yes, I uh

I have them here

but I'm afraid I wrote in the space for office use only.

See I-- I'm a little

I'm a little ner-- whoops!

Oh gee oh!

- Calm down, Chief.

Look, I know the ratings have been down lately

but I have a great idea.

Leave it to me.

Now we just need to find the guy.

There must be some guy out there who's a.

- Here's your pen back.

Oh wait, oh, that's my pen.

[nervous laughter]

Or is it your pen?.

- I think we found

the guy.

- [Bob] Welcome to Dream Date!

The show that matches hopeless losers

with people who deserve better.

And now

here's the host of Dream Date.

Skip Yenta.

[audience applauding]

- Thank you, thank you.

And welcome to Dream Date.

Could we have our first pathetic failure, Bob?

- [Bob] He's an unemployed cartoonist

who enjoys throwing away shirt cardboards

and watching milk curdle.

Say hello to Jon Arbinkle!

- Arbuckle.

Jon Arbuckle.

[audience applauding]

- Well, Jon.

Welcome to Dream Date.

You're hoping to find the woman of your dream.

Aren't you?

- Well, I was hoping.

- Of course you are!

We've put every known fact about you on this card.

Yeah.

And now the computer will find your perfect woman.

Watch the 786 romance-o-matic

do it's thing.

[beeping]

The romance-o-matic is hard at work

studying the profiles of 72,000 eligible bachelorettes.

And here we are.

The computer has selected as your dream date.

- [Garfield] Bet you she weights 300 pounds

and has bolts in her neck.

[nervous groaning]

- Ursula Fencedermacher.

[audience cheering]

- [Garfield] She's

she's human.

- We're going to send you the two of you

out on a dream date tonight

and want you to come back here tomorrow night

and tell us how it went.

- We will.

- How about that, folks?

Why it wouldn't even surprise me if

by tomorrow night

he was asking her to marry him.

- [Garfield] Marry?

Jon's just dumb enough to do it.

- They gave us tickets to a fancy restaurant.

- Oh, just being with you

is enough for me, Jonny.

[laughing]

- [Garfield] Stop that car!

Too late.

I hope he uses his brains.

Like there's a chance of that happening.

- You're worried about your friend, kitty?

Well, you should be.

He's being set up for a trick.

A nasty, rotten trick.

She's gonna get him to propose marriage on the show

and then she can dump him in front of everyone.

My boss thinks it will be a real ratings grabber.

Seeing a guy's heart broken on national TV.

Now this is where they're going tonight.

I was gonna go there and try to warn him but.

- [Garfield] Come on, Odie.

[Odie barks]

- Let's see.

All these words in French.

- Would the monsieur like me to translate?

- Oh, no, no, not necessary.

We'll have the Alphonse Dorray.

- Monsieur has just ordered the name of our chef.

I will just bring you two cheeseburgers

- No wait.

[laughing]

- Cheeseburgers is just fine, Jonny.

Everything's fine about you.

- Well gosh I.

- No one's looking.

How about giving me a little kiss?

- Uh, yeah, sure!

Ursula, you need to shave.

Garfield!

[shrieking]

- [Garfield] Hey, I know I'm adorable but.

- That's my cat.

I'm sorry, Ursula.

He wasn't suppose to be here.

- Oh, honey.

It's alright, Jonny.

Here

try some of this escargot.

- [Garfield] Snails!

There's snails on your plate.

I'll get 'em.

Boy, you'd think in a nice place like this.

- You're leaving.

- [Garfield] This is for your own good.

- Oh no!

- [Garfield] Dessert tray coming.

[screaming]

Mmm. Lemon mousse.

[audience cheering]

- [Bob] And here's the host of Dream Date.

Skip Yenta.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Well on yesterday's show

you saw sad cartoonist Jon Arbinkle

out with his ideal woman and uh.

- [Ursula] Let me out there!

- Well.

Here's the happy couple now.

- Happy?

Huh!

I never had a worst night in my life thanks to you!

- Don't you two want to get married?

- Oh, well, I.

- To this jerk and his cat?

It's all rigged.

I was supposed to get this guy to fall for me

then dump him on live television.

- Ursula, calm down.

- I won't calm down after what I've been through.

This show is fixed!

The whole thing.

I mean it's rigged.

- [Announcer] We're experiencing difficulty.

We will return to Dream Date in a moment.

Maybe.

- I should have known.

A woman liking me.

It had to be phony.

I should listen to you, Garfield, you know?

If you ever happen to see a woman who

does like me

let me know.

Give me one of these.

- [Garfield] You've got it.

- Um, Mr Arbuckle?

- Yeah.

- I thought that was a really rotten trick

they tried to play on a nice guy like you.

- Thanks.

Well, let's go guys.

[organ playing]

Oh.

Ohhhh!

Well thank you.

Say

would you like to get a pizza, Miss?

- Judy.

I work here.

That is I used to work here.

- [Garfield] New rule of the show, pup.

Every nine weeks we do a happy ending.

Come on.

Let's go steal their pizza.

[barks]

["Garfield and Friends Theme"]