01x08 - The Night of the Living Pumpkin

[bunniefuu]

-Hi, welcome to Bobby's World.

I'm Howie.

Trick or treat.

Smell my feet.

Give me something good to eat.

I love Halloween.

That's why I'm creating
this work of art.
-That's art?

-OK.

It's not Art.

It's Jack.

Jack o' lantern.

Am I a nut or what?

-Boy, if I made a mess like
that, he'd be mad at me.
-See, Bobby, what makes
it art is it's creative.
It's one of a kind.

It has a certain [BABBLING].

-I think you better get rid
of it before Mom sees it.
-Boy, that's better.

I love Halloween.

Don't you, bud?

Except, except when you have
to wear the same costume
you wore last year,
and it was all sweaty,
and fungus is growing
on the inside.
And you go out in the
street, and everybody says,
what stinks?

And you have to say, it's me.

I hate when that happens.

-That's not going
to happen to me.
-Oh, no.

Don't worry about that.

What costume do you
think I should wear, Bob?
-Same as always.

Whatever Mom picks out for you.

-Well, what costume
you going to wear?
-Captain Squash.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Ew.

Gross.

-Oh, Kelly.

Now where's your
Halloween spirit, hun?
I got this case of cobweb
spray at the Cost Club,
and a mechanical spider, and a--

DEREK: Hey, check us out.

Hey, how do you
like our costumes?
-Costumes are for kids.

Like, what is Bobby
supposed to be anyway?
-A dork.

-Oh now, Derek Generic.

You march right back
in there and put
Bobby in a decent costume.

I mean it.

-Like, wow.

Come on, Bobby.

I just, like, thought
of this totally
perfect costume for you.

-I don't wanna be a princess.

-Oh now, honey.

Oh, for the love of
Mike, you look wonderful,
like the most powerful princess
in the world, don't you know.
-Wait a minute.

I don't have to be scared.

I'm the most powerful
princess in the world.
ALL: It's the most powerful
princess in the world.
-Oh yeah, honey.

You don't have to be a
princess if you don't want to.
Go have Derek help you
get into the costume I
picked out for you
at the Cost Club.
Oh, look at you, Bobby.

You're just so g-darn cute.

-But Mom, I wanted
to be Captain Squash.
-Oh, now, honey.

You look good enough to eat.

Right, Derek?

-Yeah all us monsters would
just love to eat you up.
-No.

Help.

Don't eat me.

-Pass the Bobby.
MONSTER: Ooh.
He looks good enough to eat.

-Oh, now have a look.

See how cute he is.

-Mom, could you please
quit saying I'm cute?
-But I wasn't talking
about you, Bobby.
I was talking about him.

-Martha, this isn't
the costume I wanted.
MARTHA: Oh, I know,
honey, but the store
was out of Captain
Squash costumes.
BOBBY: Mommy, can I go
treat or tricking now?
-Oh now, Bobby, we've
already talked about this.
You're still too little to
be out trick or treating.
-Yeah.

And you know you're
scared of your own shadow.
-I won't be scared, Mommy.

Honest.

-You'll be old enough
to go next year, hun.
-Yeah, and like, by
the time you're my age,
you won't even, like, be
caught dead trick or treating.
-And you're going to have
so much fun staying home
with Uncle Ted, handing
out the special Halloween
treats I made.

-I'm going to pass out candy?

-Something better.

Homemade apple jerky.

-Mom, you're one in a million.

-Ew.

Gross.

Only for kids.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

-I'll get it.

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

-Oh, it's just my
little brother.
I'm watching him until
Uncle Ted gets here.
Be careful, Bobby.

It might be, like, a
totally gross trick
or treating monster.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

-Monsters?

I wonder what kind
of costumes totally
gross monsters
wear for Halloween.
BOTH: Trick or treat.

-Where's your costumes?

-What do you mean?

These are our costumes.

-Oh.

You're dorks.

-No.

We're monsters.

-We decided to dress as
something really scary.
Kids.

-Now, give us our treats.

-OK.

OK.

Have some apple jerky.

BOTH: Apple jerky!

Oh no.

-Good ole mom.

She always--

UNCLE TED: Ain't
nothing but a hound dog.
Woo woo.

-Hi, Uncle Ted.

KELLY: Oh hi, Uncle Ted.

-I'm not Uncle Ted.

Hey, I'm the King.

Hey.

Yeah.

-Oh yeah.

Well, like, your crown slipped.

-So, best buddy, what do
you say we hit the streets
and pick up some treats?

-I'm not allowed.

I have to stay here and
hand out apple jerky.
-Oh.

Don't be cruel.

But hey, I got a great idea.

We'll just make a spooky house
right here at Casa del Bobby.
Nah.

I'm sure your mom won't mind
if we borrow a few things.
After all, it's Halloween.

And I know your folks want
you to have a good time.
OK.

Cold spaghetti, cold grapes,
and lots of crackers.
-Ew.

That's worse than what
Mom made for dinner.
-No.

It's not for dinner.

It's for our Tunnel,
Tunnel, Tunnel
of Terror, Terror, Terror.

-Wow.

Oh, well, we wouldn't
want to scare
the little monsters
too much, huh, Bobby.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ooh, sounds like our
first victims are here.
Are you ready, Bobby?

-Ready.

Uncle Ted, where are you?

-I'm over here.

-Where?

Maybe I used a little
bit too much dry ice.
-I think it's neat.

[COUGHING]

-What is going on?

I just had to climb through
all these boxes to, like,
get in here.

-Weren't you scared, Kelly?

-Oh, shaking.

You know, you're the one
who should be scared.
When Mom gets home, she
is going to blow her top.
-Whew.

I feel better.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

UNCLE TED: Ooh.

Got to get a move on.

There's the doorbell.

OK.

I'll get it.

-I am out of here.

-Welcome to Uncle Ted's--

---and Bobby's--

-Halloween--

BOTH: --House of Horror,
Horror, Horror, Horror, Horror.
-Hi, we saw the spook house
sign in your front yard.
-Ooh.

Great costumes.

Oh, let's see.

Now, you're an
adolescent alien duck.
Uh, Captain Squash.

-Where'd he get that costume?

UNCLE TED: I don't know.

Now, all the proceeds
will be going to charity.
So that'll be $1 each.

-And a piece-- no, no--
two pieces of candy.
-Wait a minute.

You have to be this
tall to get in.
I mean this tall.

This my house.

-And I'm his partner.

And right this
way to the Tunnel,
Tunnel of Terror,
Terror, Terror.
-Ooh.

You have now passed
the point of no return.
On your right, the Hall
of the Gremlin King.
And to the left,
Frankenstein's brain.
Up ahead, a floating eyeball.

And to the left,
the witch's chamber.
Now, that's really scary.

-Um, excuse me.

How much does it cost to get in?

I'm afraid I don't
have very much money.
-Oh, that's OK.

I'll give you our special
pretty mommy discount rate.
-You're very sweet.

-Uh, well, now that
you say, I guess I am.
BOBBY: Uncle Ted, open the door.

[SCREAMING]

-Ya'll come back now.

And tell your friends.

Well, Bobby, I
think we're a hit.
Now, this is just the beginning.

You could end up
being a tiny tycoon.
-Ooh.

ANNOUNCER [VOICEOVER]: Yes.

Just fly Bobby Luxury Airways
to snobbishly exclusive Bobby
Island, where you can stay at
the luxurious and overpriced
Bobbyminiums, and
dine in the world
renowned restaurant Chez Bobby.

-I'll have a Bobby
burger with everything.
-Excellent choice.

That will be $10,000.43.

-In that case, hold the pickles.

ANNOUNCER [VOICEOVER]: And
before you go, don't forget
to throw away your hard earned
money in Bobby's Casino.
And remember, all proceeds
go to no one but--
UNCLE TED: Bobby, Bobby.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Bobby, you handle the door.

I'm going to go outside
and work on stage
two of our spook house.

-I want to see the spook house.

[WOLF HOWLING]

-OK.

That'll be $1 and two--
uh, three pieces of candy.
-Get real.

Don't you know who I am?

-Yeah.

Derek says you're the big dummy
who's always picking on him.
-Who are you calling a dummy?

-Boy, Uncle Ted's sure good
at building spook houses,
isn't he?

-Boy, if they like
Ted's Tunnel of Terror,
wait until they get a
load of my monstrous maze.
Ha ha.

-OK.

We got $6.00 and
twelve pieces of candy.
[CHILDREN'S VOICES]

PIRATE: Where's the
Tunnel of Terror?
-Right inside.

-Aye, mateys.

This way.

-Hey, wait for me.

-Wow.

If Mom and Dad could see me now.

UNCLE TED: Woohoo.

They're going to love it.

KIDS: Yay!

[SCREAMING AND LAUGHING]

BOBBY: To the left,
Frankenstein's brain.
KIDS: Ooh.

BOBBY: Up ahead.

A floating eyeball.

KIDS: Aah.

BOBBY: And to the left,
the witch's chamber.
KIDS: Get out of my way.

[SCREAMING]

BOBBY: If you
think that's scary,
you should see her when
she gets up in the morning.
-What?

Like, I can hardly hear you.

I don't know.

They're watching a
video or something.
-You know, hun.

I think Bobby was real
disappointed about having
to stay at home.

-Oh, he sure was.

But at least, we can
rest easy knowing
he's safe and sound
with his Uncle Ted.
Well, for the-- what the hay?

-Oops.

Hello.

It looks like I've gone too far.

-Bingo, Ted.

[CARS HONKING]

-Sorry.

We're closing the
sidewalk for a while.
-But why?

-Too many people.

We've got ghoul gridlock.

-Form a line.

One at a time now.

Don't push.

Don't push.

-Here.

-But you've been through
five times already.
-Six.

This place is really cool.

-Next.

-That'll be one dollar
and ten pieces of candy.
-Forget it, dork.

I'm your brother.

-Oh.

Make it $0.50 and
one piece of candy.
-No sweat.

I made $4 and got
35 pieces of candy.
-$4 and 35 pieces of candy.

Follow me.

We raised $543 for charity.

BOBBY: And 1,086
pieces of candy for me.
-Hey, that's not fair.

-Yeah, I know.

Right now, Bobby and I are
sitting on top of the world.
-We are?

Well, we finally
made it, Uncle Ted.
-Yeah.

Isn't it a little hot?

-Yeah, but we're on top.

Care to go for a spin?

Wee.

[SCREAMING]

-Hey, what's going
on here anyway?
-Uncle Ted and I
made a spook house.
I'll show you.

Get ready for the earthquake.

And now, the mummy's coffin.

And in the closet.

Here's the Cave of No Return.

Enter at your own risk.

-Wait a minute that's my room.

-So what do you think of
our spook house, Derek?
-It's really neat.

-Hey, will you take
a look at that.
BOBBY: Wow.

It's Patwisha Wiley.

-That's Patricia Riley, Bobby.

-Our spook house is so good.

They're going to put us on TV.

-TV?

TV ANNOUNCER: And now, it's
time for the show everybody's
been waiting for,
Bobby's TV show.
-Hi, everybody.

Welcome to Bobby's TV
show, the most popular
show in the whole wide universe.

And now, let's meet
our first guest.
Derek, my big brother.

So, Derek, cleaned
your room lately?
-Um, well, no.

[LAUGHTER]

-Say, did that
chocolate stain ever
come out where you tried to hide
ice cream under your pillow?
-Bobby, do we have
to talk about that?
-No.

We can talk about the time you
ruined Mom's best tablecloth
because you were using it to--

-Bobby, Mom doesn't
know about that yet?
-She does now.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So what do you
think of my brother?
AUDIENCE: Slime him!

Slime him!

Slime him!

Slime him!

Slime him!

Slime him!

-You asked for it.

-Bobby, no.

Please, Bobby, no!

-Derek, baby, it's
not what I want.
It's what the people want.

My public.

[APPLAUSE]

TV ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Don't
miss Bobby's TV Show next week
when Bobby's very special
guest will be Uncle Ted.
PATRICIA RILEY [ON
TV]: And now, this
is Patricia Riley from TV
News 3 at the Generic House.
BOBBY: Generic.

-That's what I said--
where one family is
celebrating Halloween in a way.

Say, Ted, that's some
costume you got there.
-Thanks, Patricia.

Uh, excuse me, Patwicia.

-Superman.

Why?

-I'm uh-- [CLEARS THROAT]

-So Ted, where did you get the
idea for this haunted house?
-Well, I uh-- I
mean-- I don't know.
-And what's your
name, little boy?
-Uh, Bobby.

-Well, that's all from this
terrific haunted house.
Now, Richard Ross
with the weather.
-Ah well, I don't
know about you guys,
but I thought the show
was weally wonderful.
[SIRENS BLARING]

-Oh now, look over here, yeah.

These trick or treaters get
more destructive every year.
You know, you'd think the police
could do something about it.
Yeah.

Boy.

I can't wait to hit the sack.

-[WHISPERING] Bobby, Ted.

Ah.

Well, for corn's sake now.

-Good grief.

There must be hundreds of
dollars worth of damage here.
MARTHA: And read
my lips, I think
Ted should pay for
every bit of it now.
Well, now, uh-- Howard.

What the heck is--
over here now.
Come this way.

HOWIE: Which way?

I'm caught in some spaghetti.

MARTHA: Well, I'm just a little
east of that eyeball thing,
I think.

Howard?

Howard?

Howard!

[CRASH]

-So Bobby, didn't you
just love Halloween?
-I like Halloween.

But I love candy.

-I love the costumes.

These goofy glasses, they really
make you look different, right?
-Right.

-Well, say goodbye, Bobby.

-Goodbye, Bobby.

[THEME MUSIC]