03x02 - Bobby's Big Move

[bunniefuu]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hey, what are you doing, Howie?

-Oh, well, I'm just

trying to make some room

because I want to

put this box away.

-Well, what's in the box?

-It's just a box of old

stuff I don't need anymore.

-Well, we have a lot of those

boxes all over the house.

Pretty soon, the whole house

will be filled with old

we don't need anymore.

-Bobby.

-And there won't be any room

for anything that we do need.

-Bobby?

-And then we--if we need

something that we need,

it's going to be outside because

there's no more room inside.

And I'll say, Mommy,

where's my toothbrush?

-Bobby?

-And she'll say, it's

in the back yard.

-Oh Bobby?

-And I'll say, why?

And she'll say

because we need it.

-Bobby?

-What?

-Well, we need to

start the show now.

-Is it outside?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-This is Derek's room.

This is Kelly's room.

This is Mom and Dad's room.

This is my room.

And this room, well this

room didn't used to be here.

How did it get here?

Well, that's a long story.

[MUSIC - "ROCKABY BABY"]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

The bestest thing

about being four is that when

you 'member stuff that happened

to you when you

were growing up, you

don't have too much to 'member.

Like the time Dad was

storing stuff in the attic.

Attics are like

basements, only higher.

No one could store stuff

better than my dad.

-Wa-- watch your step, Bobby.

[GRUNTING] What do think, Bobby?

Think this box will fit on here?

Maybe it'll fit here.

[CRASH]

-Crimenetly!

MOM: Howard?

What is that that's

going on up there?

-There's no room for anything.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: I

didn't know it at the time,

but this trip to the attic

was about to teach me

an important lesson.

-Daddy?

Could I have an allowance?

-No!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Timing is everything.

Never ask for an allowance

when your dad is mad.

TED: I'll get this stuff.

Oh.

Ay-yi-yi!

[CRASHING]

-Ah!

-Hockey shockers!

[CRASH]

KELLY: Ah!

-Ted, you OK?

KELLY: Ah!

-Don't worry.

I'm not hurt, but I am stuck.

KELLY: Ah!

-I told you to walk

on the rafters, Ted.

-That's going to be a homer--

-I got you.

-Hey!

Easy!

That's my good leg.

-Up!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Then

Uncle Ted, uh, then-- oops.

Sorry.

This happens later.

I'm telling the

story out of order.

[REWIND SOUNDS]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Oh, yeah.

Now, now I 'member.

What happened next

was a big deal.

Daddy called a family

meeting at Fun 'n Pizza.

-I call this family

meeting at Fun 'n Pizza.

I, I call this family

meeting at Fun 'n Pizza.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Just kidding. [GIGGLE]

The family meeting was at home.

I don't know why

parents don't call

family meetings at Fun 'n Pizza.

More people would

want to be there.

-I called this family

meeting because I've

discovered there's

no room in the attic.

So I have a big announcement.

NARRATOR: This is the

story of Bobbylocks

and the three announcements.

One day, Bobbylocks was

skipping through the woods--

-Left foot.

Right foot.

I don't know how to skip.

NARRATOR: One day, Bobbylocks

was walking through the woods--

-Thank you.

---when he chanced upon

the announcements house.

But alas, no one was home.

-The white zone is for

loading and unloading

of passengers only.

-[BRITISH ACCENT] This is the

part of fairy tales I like.

People always get to go

inside without permission.

NARRATOR: On the

table, Bobbylocks

saw three announcements.

The baby announcement,

the mama announcement,

and the big announcement.

Bobbylocks decided

to sample each one.

First, he tried the

baby announcement.

BABY VOICE [ON TAPE]:

I need to be changed.

NARRATOR: Well, this

didn't smell too good.

So Bobbylocks went to

the mama announcement.

MAMA VOICE [ON TAPE]:

I have a headache.

-That's not a big announcement.

I hear that all the time

because I'm in the next room.

NARRATOR: And so Bobbylocks

tried the last announcement.

DAD VOICE [ON TAPE]: So

I've decided we're moving!

-That's a big announcement.

[GULPS] Why?

Why would-- why would you

guys want to leave me?

-You're coming too, Bobby.

We're all moving.

-We need more room.

-You can have my room, Mom.

-Thanks.

But, but we need a

bigger house, Bobby.

-Uh.

You can't be serious.

You can't move now.

I just got into the

cool group at school.

You people will do

anything to ruin my life.

-Great!

Let's move to Alaska!

-Alaska?

-Sure.

It always snows there.

And no one skateboards.

That means I'd be the best.

[LAUGHTER]

-I love that.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Well, Dad's announcement

hit me like a big,

red water balloon.

I didn't know what to do.

Could have gotten angry.

Or I could have done nothing.

But I did what any kid would do.

[LAUGHTER]

[CRYING]

DAD: Bobby!

-Bobby?

Oh, come back, honey.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Well,

what did you expect?

I'm just a kid.

I like my friends.

I don't want to

leave my friends.

I like my room.

I don't want to leave my room.

I don't want to leave my house.

Oh!

Oh, just go to commercial!

Now where am I in the story?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, then-- uh, then.

-Hi, Bobby.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Hm.

What did happen next?

-Hi, Bobby.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Oh, yeah.

Jackie came over.

-Hi, Jackie.

[KISS]

-Do you feel OK?

-I don't think I feel so good.

-We better talk.

You need help.

You seem to be suffering

from separation anxiety--

a loss of house,

neighborhood, and friends,

the things you know and love.

These may sound like

big words to you now,

but someday you'll understand.

-How do you know?

You're the same age as me.

-My mom watches

Sally Jesse Raphael.

-Well, what makes you

think I need help?

-I kissed you, and you

didn't say, oh, yuck.

-You kissed me?

Oh, yuck!

-See?

Our little talk helped.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Our

little talk did help.

I don't know what she

said, but I felt different.

As we sat on the swings,

I was sure Jackie

would never kiss me again.

[KISS]

-Oh, yuck!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Alas, I was wrong.

And then, then, then our

house was full of lookyloos.

You know?

All those people who like

to walk around and stare

at your stuff when

your house is for sale.

-Bobby!

Uh.

You're going to get stepped on.

-Who, who wants

a couple of bozos

like that living in our house?

-Bobby!

Don't you get it?

They're house shopping.

And if they, if they

really like our house,

they're going to buy it.

-Wait a minute.

You mean if they don't

like it, they won't buy it!

And we won't have to move!

Right?

-Right!

-Right!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

That afternoon,

my sister and I had found

a common goal-- well,

other than beating up Derek.

We knew we had to keep

people from buying our house.

-Derek had this room

since he was just a baby.

-Yeah.

And he threw up in

here all the time!

KELLY: Yeah!

-That's all he ever did.

Right Kelly?

KELLY: Yeah.

And Derek, the backed

up garbage disposal,

hurled all over the place.

[SCRATCHING]

-Bobby?

Did you hear that scratching?

-Yes.

Do you think that these

nice people here like rats?

-Huh?

-Big rats, as much

as we do, Kelly?

[GASPING]

[FOOTSTEPS RUNNING ]

-And this is Bobby's room.

It's got a wonderful

view of the backyard.

-A monster lives in the closet.

Want to see?

[GROWLING]

MOM: Oh, Bobby.

Don't say that there now.

Bobby has such an imagination.

There's no monster

in the closet.

See?

It's just Bobby's clothes.

Honestly, Bobby.

You're going to scare off

any prospective buyers

with your messy clothes.

-Clothes to Mom.

Monsters to me.

[GROWLING]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

And then Uncle Ted

decided to add his two cents.

-Howard, let me show you

how to sell this house.

Selling's my middle

name, you know?

-I thought your

middle name was Mud.

That's what Aunt

Ruth always says.

-Oh, Bobby.

Oop, you are sharp!

[LAUGHTER] Hey now,

come over here and check

out the view from here.

You can watch the

Harper's big screen TV.

And they got cable.

Now here's something

you're going to like.

If you stand right

over there, you

can dump the grass clippings

into to yard next door.

You can't buy

convenience like that.

You don't even have

to go to the curb.

-Ted!

-What did I do?

-We'll take it.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: So much

for Uncle Ted's two cents.

Uh, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is where Mom said something

that made moving sound good!

-Now Howard, as long as we're

getting a house big enough

for all of us, we

might as well find

one that has everything we want.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Everything we want!

Everything we want?

Everything we want.

Everything we want.

-Mom?

Where's the room I

wanted with the elephant?

MOM: Oh.

On the left, honey.

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]

-And where's the hide

and seek room I wanted?

MOM: Oh, that's down the hall to

the right between the ice cream

bar and indoor

playground you wanted.

-Wow!

This new house thing is great!

-Uh-huh?

Uh-huh?

Traitor.

[TIRE POPS]

-Kelly!

-Uh!

Bobby, I thought you

didn't want to move.

What happened to our

wonderful bond? [SOBBING]

-Kelly, don't you see?

You have to open yourself

to new es, es, experiences.

Don't, don't think of

moving as a bad thing.

Think about it as a good thing.

-You are way right, Bobby.

Like, I have the chance to

be in a totally new house

and like totally decorate

my brand new room.

And like, meet a whole new

batch or really rad boys.

Oh, Bobby.

You are, like, so cosmic.

I, I thank the day you

became my little brother.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

Well, maybe it

didn't happen exactly that way.

But it was something like that.

Or at least it should have been.

[GIGGLING] Of course,

the next thing we did

was look for a new home.

DAD: Hey, how about that one?

TED: Now don't go buying

the first house you see.

MOM: Well, I like the back yard.

KELLY: Well, yeah.

-Is there an elephant room?

DAD: Bobby.

MOM: That's my youngest.

Let's have a look see

inside here now then yet.

DEREK: What a dork!

-Wow!

This could be my room.

[DOG WHINING]

[DOG PANTING]

MOM: This room would

be perfect for Kelly.

Can't you just

picture it, Bobby?

-Yes.

How the heck did she know?

-I am bushed.

My dogs is barking.

-Oh.

Oofta.

Looking for the perfect

house is exhausting.

[DOOR CLOSES]

-OK, everybody.

No more looking.

I have found the perfect house.

-Well, thank goodness.

-It's about time.

-Well, tell us,

where do we live?

MOM: Bobby?

What's wrong?

-Well if I move, how are they

going to know where I am?

-Who?

-Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy,

the Sandman, the Easter Bunny.

-All they gotta do is

follow the smell, shrimp.

-Derek, for the love of--

-Then again, maybe

moving is a good idea.

Then the Boogity Man

wouldn't find me.

-You know?

I think in our new house, only

the good ones will find you.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

That was a relief.

Because now, it

was time to pack.

So let's see.

Yeah.

Everyone was packing up

their stuff for the move

to the new house.

Oh, yeah.

This is the place in the story

where Uncle Ted's foot went

through the floor of the attic

and into Kelly's room. 'member?

Want to see it again?

How about in slow motion?

-[SLOWLY] I'll get this stuff.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: See?

That's where Uncle Ted's

foot went through the floor.

And see.

Here's Kelly.

And Uncle Ted's foot's going

to come down here and crash!

It really freaked out Kelly.

[GIGGLES] That's the

fun thing with memory.

You can replay it

as much as you want.

-What box does this go in?

-Hm.

Better take that in the car.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: If Mom

thought anything was valuable,

it rode in the car.

-Mom, I found this

in the hallway.

-Yeah.

Better take that in the car.

-Well, I, uh, I can't find

room for my makeup mirror.

-You use a mirror? [SNICKERS]

-I'll take that in the car.

TED: The movers are here!

The movers are here!

Shake a leg.

They get paid by the hour.

-Whoops, man.

Coming through.

-Uh, hey.

Ease it over here now.

Come on.

-South southwest turn coming up.

-Oop.

Losing my grip.

-Easy, easy, mister.

-Kinda greasy on the

bottom, ain't it?

-Gangway.

-OK. [GRUNTING]

-Uh, don't scratch it, fellas.

Oh!

I probably should have

taken it in the car.

[THUD]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: The great

thing about moving was Derek

and I played a

practical joke on Mom.

First we wrote, Mom's

best stuff, on a box.

-Uh, be careful, guys.

-I, I'm, oh, no!

I'm losing my grip.

-Oh, I can't hold it either.

MOM: Oh, oh, my kids!

Here.

No.

Bobby!

Derek!

Watch it!

[CRASH]

-Oh, boys!

It's my-- well, this

isn't my best stuff.

It's my pots and pans.

[LAUGHTER]

-That's rich.

-I like that.

-Let me get my-- I oughta--

well, I-- you kids.

[LAUGHTER]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

I guess that's why

they call it a practical joke.

Practically everybody

laughs except the person

you play the joke on.

MOVER 1: Case closed.

MOVER 2: Case is closed.

MOVER 1: We're packed up.

MOVER 2: We're packed up.

MOVER 1: Full load.

MOVER 2: All full load.

MOVER 1: Full load.

MOVER 2: All full load.

MOVER 1: Finis!

MOVER 1: Finis!

MOVER 2: Finis!

-Come on, Roger.

Let's see.

[GRUNTING] Where is everything?

[BARKING]

-Come on, everybody.

Into the car.

We're going to the new house.

-Us, too, mister?

-Gotcha!

Mover's joke.

[LAUGHTER]

-Say goodbye to Uncle Ted.

-Bye, Uncle Ted.

-Bye-bye, Bobbo.

Don't forget to write.

-Are we there yet?

-Yes, we are.

-Wow!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: That's the

first time that ever happened.

I asked, are we there yet?

And we were!

TED: Hey, everybody.

How was the trip?

Welcome to the neighborhood.

-Come on, Roger.

Let's meet the neighbors.

[BARKING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

-Hi.

I'm your new neighbor.

My name's Bobby.

I just moved in.

-Hi, Bobby.

-I don't live next door anymore.

-Where do you live?

-Across the street.

Wow!

I can see the old

neighborhood from here.

-On behalf of the neighborhood,

let me welcome you.

[KISS]

-Yuck!

Ah!

[BLOWING]

-Mom, this house is

just like our old house.

-Well, there is a

difference, Bobby.

It has an extra

room for the baby.

[BLOWING]

-But, but, it, it

doesn't feel the same.

-It will, hon.

You see, a house

is just a house.

It's the family that lives

in it that makes it a home.

And after we settle

in this house,

it'll feel like our home.

Home is where the heart

is, don't you know?

-Whoops.

Sorry, Bobbo.

-Well, that's the story.

I guess my bestest memory of

moving, as scary as it was,

was bringing my brother and

sister and me closer together.

KELLY: Did not!

DEREK: Did too!

-Not.

-Too.

-Not.

-Too.

-Not.

-Too, too, too, too!

-Not, you little brat.

Not, not, not.

Bobby?

Like did you put your

stupid stuff in my room?

-I'm telling Mom you're

riding your bike in the house.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:

On second thought,

I think my bestest

memory was Uncle

Ted falling through the ceiling.

-I'm going to think

about that some more.

-I'll get this stuff.

Oh!

Ay-yi-yi-yi!

[CRASH]

-Ah!

-Ah.

[GASPING]

-Ugh.

[YELLING] Ooh, ah,

eek, ah, ow, out below!

Ah!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: Well, it

coulda happened that way.

[GIGGLE] But you

gotta admit, it's

a pretty great

ending to a story.

-There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

-Bobby?

What are you doing?

-I don't know.

I saw it in a movie once.

-Don't be silly.

He's nuts.

We have to go now, Bobby.

It's the end of the show.

-Well, where are we going?

-I don't know.

Let's follow the

yellow brick road.

[MUSIC PLAYING]