06x02 - Bobby the Genius

[bunniefuu]

-Welcome-- eww!

What's that horrible smell?

-My feet.

-How can your feet
possibly stink that much?
-Well, yesterday
I was in a contest
where I had to walk on
cheese with my socks on,
and I didn't change them yet.

And I thought I was gonna
be late, so I ran here,
and now my feet are
sweating and wetting
the old cheese on my socks.

-Well, did you win the contest?

-Yes, and this, my friend, is
the sweet smell of success.
-Oh!

Oh, whoo!

[THEME MUSIC]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MRS ORSO: All right, children!

Children!

Please be seated.

I have a big
announcement to make.
-Oh, boy!

When Mrs. Orso has a big
announcement to make,
she always scrunches
up her face,
and you can count all the
wrinkles on her forehead.
Last time I got up to seven.

MRS ORSO: Here, now!

Yes, yes.

now, tomorrow we're going to
have a very special visitor.
His name is Mr. Hal.

One.

MRS ORSO: Mr. Hal is a
university professor.
-Two.

Three.

-He's going to give
you all a test.
BOBBY: Four.
Five.
Six.

-It will being first thing
in the morning, and--
-A that!

What kind of test?

I hope it's
something really fun.
-OK, everybody make a face!

PROFESSOR: The winner.

[CHEERING]

-Bobby?

What is it, Bobby?

-Uh, nothing, Mrs. Orso.

I was just thinking
about the test tomorrow.
-Now, you don't have a
thing to worry about.
It's just an experimental test.

There are no right
or wrong answers.
-Now that sounds
like my kind of test.
[CHEERING]

-Be here early tomorrow
morning, now, bright and early
for the big test.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Uh, what-- what exactly is this
dish you're cooking up here,
sis?

-Tuna cod catfish bake
with switchups, just
like momma used to
make, don't you know?
-Hey, uh, what do you say we
try that new hamburger joint?
Uh, my treat.

-Mom, mom!

Guess what! we're gonna
have a big test tomorrow!
-Yeah, um, that's great, hon.

Yeah.

-I don't know about you,
Bobbo, but I hate tests.
Oh!

Especially the ones where
they give you that little cup,
and then you got to go
into the men's room,
and you're in there half--
-Ted!
Ted, put a sack in it.

-What'd I say?

-So, they're gonna give
you a test, huh, shrimp?
When I was about your
age, they gave us
a test on adding
and subtracting.
The kid that failed, they
kept him after school.
Forever.

-K-k-- kept him-- kept
him after school forever?
For-- for adding
and subtracting?
[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIRENS]

Ah!

-Adding and subtracting!

Adding and subtracting!

Adding and subtracting!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

Add and subtract!

MARTHA: Ahhh!

You ate all the
[INAUDIBLE] chips!
What's a tuna cod catfish
bake without the chips?
-[BURP]

Oh, that felt good.

Sorry, sis.

-Dad!

Dad!

Guess-- guess what!

-Oh, what-- what's that smell?

MARTHA: My tuna cod
catfish bake is all.
It's ruined!

Oh, Howard!

Help!

-Dad, we're gonna have a
test at school tomorrow.
Uh, dad?

-Ah!

-My life as I know
it is o-o-o--over!
[SOBBING]

BOBBY: Mom!

Dad!

I want to tell
you about my test.
-Oh, come on, Martha.

-I hope this test is
easier than trying
to tell mom and dad about it.

-What's wrong, Bobby?

-I'm worried about
taking the big test.
What if I flunk it, and they
keep me after school, forever?
-You can't flunk.

There aren't any right or wrong
answers, don't you remember?
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

-Class?

Class?

Now, this is the
university professor
I told you about yesterday.

Say hello to Mr. Hal.

-[TOGETHER] Hello, Mr. Hal.

-Well, how nice.

I'm going to conduct a little
experiment with you children
today.

Young man, would you like
to help me demonstrate what
some of the test
questions will be like?
-Since there aren't any
right or wrong answers,
I'm going to answer
that one with a "no."
-That wasn't a test question.

-Oh.

-Well, stand up, Bobby, dear.

Let's be polite, now.

-This is a test question.

How many fingers do I have?

-Same as I have.

Right?

-Very inventive, young man.

Let's try another one.

I'm going to count.

One, two, three.

Now, can you do it backwards?

-Sure.

One, two, three.

-What a very bright little boy!

[CLASS CHATTERING]

-I am?

-All right, class,
settle down now.
We're ready to
begin the testing.
[MUSIC PLAYING]

Now wasn't that fun, class?

-[TOGETHER] Yes!

-I think each one of
you did very well.
-Mrs. Orso!

Mrs. Orso, quickly,
you must see this!
[WHISPERING]

-Gee, I wonder if they
ran out of toilet paper
in the boy's room?

-Oh, my goodness!

Oh!

Bobby, would you please
come up here a moment?
-Am I in trouble?

-Bobby, the results of
your test have come back.
-According to my
calculations, you're
not just a bright little boy.

You're a genius!

-Me?

A genies?

I'm a genies?

MAN [ON MEGAPHONE]: Welcome to
the millionth annual Genie's
Convention!

-Watch it!

-Look out!

-Hey that genie's too
young to be flying.
MRS ORSO: Here you are, Bobby.

I'm pinning this to you because
I don't want you to lose it.
It's a very special
note for your parents.
-My parents?

-[WHISPERING]

-All right.

If you say so, Mr. Hal.

Bobby, we're going to
move your seat right up
here to the front of the class.

-Swell.

Every kids dream, to sit
right next to the teacher.
-All right, class.

Lunch time!

Run along, now!

[CHEERING]

-I have to take a
test, then Mrs. Orso
writes some secret
thing to my parents,
and now she changes my seat.

Am I in trouble again?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi, I'm home.

-Figures!

Like, I totally do
not know what to wear
to the costume
party on Saturday.
-Why don't you just wash your
face and go as a stranger?
Hey, mush brain,
what's in the envelope?
-I must have done something
really bad today because I used
to be a pupil, now I'm a genies.

Then Mrs. Orso moved
my seat, and now I
won't be able to see when Jamie
Burke picks his nose anymore.
-OK, so what's?

In the envelope?

-What's in the envelope?

-Welcome to "What's
In The Envelope?"
OK, Bobby, take a guess.

-Uh, um, let's see,
is-- is it a bike?
[LAUGHTER]

[BUZZER]

-Guess again, and you've
got just 30 seconds.
One, two, three--

-Uh, uh-- a new car?

A pet!

[INAUDIBLE]

[YELLING]

-String?

[BUZZER]

-Wrong!

You lose!

-Did you hear that, Bobby?

Mrs. Orso want's
your father and me
to be at school bright and
early tomorrow morning.
-Gulp!

MRS ORSO: I'm glad you could
come, Mr. And Mrs. Generic.
I'm sure you're eager to
hear what Bobby has done.
-Well, sure we'd be here.

We're his parental units.

-OK, OK!

I'll tell you all
the stuff I did .
I hid a lot of my old
lunches under Kelly's bed,
and I used Derek's
socks for baseballs.
And-- and-- I was the
one who [INAUDIBLE].
There, those were
all the things I did.
That's what you're going
to tell mom and dad, right?
-Oh, no, Bobby.

The reason we called your
parents down to the school
this morning is because you
did so well on your test.
-Oh.

I was only kidding
about that other stuff.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

-How well did Bobby do
on his test, Mr. Hal?
-According to this,
he's a genius.
With a mind like his, there's
no telling how far he could go.
-Couldn't I just stay here?

-Well, Bobby, hon!

What the nice man is saying
is that you're gifted.
-I am?

I'm gifted?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HOWARD: Oh!

A gifted son!

What wonderful, wonderful news!

I can't wait to tell all
the guys down at work
that our Bobby is a genius.

-What's a genies mean, dad?

-It means you're special, Bobby.

Really?

WOMAN [ON SPEAKER]:
Attention, J-Mart shoppers.
Today's Red Tag Special is
Bobby Generic, all yours
for the low, low
price of only $11.95.
[CHATTER]

-Wow!

That's great!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

-So it was a pretty
exciting morning,
let me tell you, now then yet.

-Yes, siree!

Finding out that
Bobby is a genius
was something
special, all right.
-And I've got
something real special
for our real special mansie.

-You- you do?

Is it another piece of
that chocolate cake?
-He gets extra cake?

No fair!

-And that's not all I've got
for my little Mr. Genius Man.
A brand new toothbrush is all!

We don't want our little genius
getting cavities then yet.
-Neat.

-[LAUGHS]

-Dad!

Since I'm a genies, can I stay
up late tonight and watch TV?
Huh?

-No way!

Are you guys really going to
let the little dweeb stay up
late just because he's supposed
to be some kind of super brain?
-Well, I-- I think
watching a little extra TV
might be a good idea, Bobby.

I mean, there's a PBS special
on tonight about the life
cycle of the North
American mole.
-[LAUGHS]

-But of course we can watch
anything that you want.
After all, son, you're special.

-I'm starting to like this.

-All right, class, here's
another history question.
What's the name
of the place where
the President of the
United States lives?
-The White House?

-That's correct, Josh.

-Big deal.

That was an easy one.

-Next question is in math.

What comes after 10?

-Oh!

Oh!

Uh, 11, Mrs. Orso.

MRS ORSO: Very good, Brittany.

-What a baby question.

I knew the answer to
that when I was two.
-Let's see, now.

How about one from science?

What is the planet
we live on called?
-I knew this one even
before she asked it.
I'm a genies, you know.

-Bobby, were you giving
Jackie the answer
just so she'd look
as smart as you are?
-Huh?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, right.

That's what I was doing.

-Pay attention, class.

I have a surprise announcement.

Bobby has been chosen along
with two other gifted children
from our school to compete on
the TV show "Preschool Feud!"
Bobby's going to be on TV!

-I'm gonna be on TV?

[SINGING] On TV, on TV.

I can't believe little old me--

-On TV!

Soon in living rooms everyplace.

Tune in and you'll
see this face!
-Watch and see.

I'm gonna be--

-On TV!

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentlemen, the Nielson family!
-[SINGING] We can't wait!

We want to get that gifted
little Bobby on our set.
He's the star you
want the most to be
shown in living
color coast to coast!
On TV!

On TV!

-Watch and see.

-Soon he'll be on TV!

Now what do you think of me?

MRS ORSO: Settle down, now.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Well here we are, Bobby.

This is where you'll
be playing "Preschool
Feud" in a few minutes.

Are you ready?

-Yep!

-All right, Bobby.

These are some of the
other contestants,
and this is where you'll
wait until the game begins.
Good luck!

-I won't need luck.

I'm a genies, 'member?

-I must disagree.

My research indicates that
matter of this density
will travel at exactly
one1/16 the speed of light.
-What did she say?

-All right, players, uh, we
got just a few moments here
until the show stars.

Follow me to the set.

-Oh, no thanks.

I can find it myself.

In a genies.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ah!

-You're going to do
just fine, Bobby.
-I know.

I'm gifted.

-Oh, my, now.

ANNOUNCER: And now it's time
to play "Preschool Feud!"
Today it's the Carl
Sagan Preschool playing
against the Little
Red Schoolhouse.
And now here's the
host of "Preschool
Feud," Richard Lawson!

-Hello, America,
and thank you, Glen.
Welcome to "Preschool Feud."

Or as I like to call it, "The
Battle Of The Baby Brains."
[LAUGHS]

-Hello, there.

And--

-Yuck!

-All rightee, let's begin, now.

Remember, we've polled 100
gifted preschool students
for the correct answers
to these questions.
Our contestants will be
playing for a new jungle
gym for their school,
and I want you all
to remember that each correct
answer gets five points.
For each incorrect answer,
the person giving the answer
will be slimed.

OK, here goes.

First question.

Who is the current
Queen of England?
-Queen Elizabeth!

-Correct!

[CHEERING]

-All right, and
question number two.
In which state is
the Great Salt Lake?
-Utah!

-Correct again.

-Come on!

Don't just stand there, Bobby!

Do something!

-Next question.

What is 2 plus 50?

-That's easy.

2 plus 50 is an
arithmetic question.
[BUZZER]

-Oh, sorry.

Wrong answer.

AUDIENCE: Ewww!

-OK, OK.

Us genies can mess up.

-All right, next question.

This one's a little
more difficult.
What is an isosceles triangle?

-A musical instrument
that belongs to somebody
named Isosceles.

[BUZZER]

[AUDIENCE GROANING]

AUDIENCE: Ewww!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-One more incorrect
answer and your team
loses the jungle gym, Bobby.

-Don't rub it in.

-OK, next question.

What is H2O?

-H2O is two letters
and a number!
Uh, right?

[BUZZER]

-[LAUGHS]

Good try, Bobby, but that's not
it, which means the Little Red
Schoolhouse doesn't get
their new jungle gym.
[AUDIENCE GROANING]

-Oh, Bobby, I know
you did your best.
I just can't imagine
what went wrong.
PROFESSOR: Mrs. Orso!

Mrs. Orso, there's a problem.

This whole thing has
been a computer error.
Bobby isn't a genius after all.

He's normal.

-I am?

I'm normal?

Oh, boy!

I'm normal!

Isn't that great?

-Oh, my, now.

-[SINGING] Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream.
Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream--
-Well, Bobby, it's
been quite a day.
What did you learn
from this whole mess?
I have learned that just because
somebody tells you that you're
special, you still ought to
be nice to everybody else.
-[SINGING] Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream--
-Because otherwise nobody will
like you when things go back
to normal, and you'll really
miss all your friends, and--
OK!

I got something to say!

I'm sorry, I was wrong.

I let being special
go to my head.
I feel really,
really, really bad,
and I hope you'll all
be my friends again, OK?
I'm also really,
really, really sorry
that we didn't win
the jungle gym.
But look at the bright side.

We did win a whole year's
supply of wood sealer, right?
-[SINGING] Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream--
-The nice thing about
kids your own age
is that they forget stuff
like this real fast.
[MUSIC PLAYING]

I thought that was a great
show, didn't you, Howie?
-Eh.

-Why do you seem so down?

-My car has a flat
tire, and I was supposed
to meet someone for lunch
right after the show.
-Well, my parents are
coming to pick me up,
and I'm sure that
they can give you
a lift to wherever
you have to go.
And then whoever you're
meeting at that place
can give you a lift home.

And then when you're at home,
you can call a tow truck.
-That it great!

Thanks so much.

Bobby, you're a genius.

-I am not!

-Whoa.

A little touchy.

-[SINGING] Splash,
splash in the puddle.
A little up!

Watch that muddle.

Splash!

It's gonna splash!

Splash, splash, splash.

It's gonna splash!

Splash, splash, splash.

It's gonna splash!

So splash, splash in that water.

Kick one foot!

Stop the other!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!

Splash!